Writer's Corner: Free Essay Grading by PastaInhaler

[tothestars]

The government should not regulate scientific research.

 

Research is the systematic method by which new discoveries are made or old conclusions are modified. Scientific research involves investigations within the natural world. The government should not regulate scientific research because it hinders new and useful discoveries and thus the progress of society. For instance, during the seventeenth century Galileo Galilei proposes a heliocentric model of the universe after performing intensive and systemic scientific research. However the government at the time, which included the church, regulated the type of scientific research that was conducted and the type of conclusions that was allowed to be made to the public. The government rejected Galileo's heliocentric proposal of the Earth, which has later been proved to be correct. This rejection was made on the basis of their own personal interests, which show that with government regulation there is less freedom to explore new and innovative ideas that could potentially lead to improved understanding of the natural world and thus the progress of humankind.

 

However, although government regulation may hinder innovative discoveries, sometimes regulation is needed to ensure the method by which research is performed is ethical and does not harm anyone in the process. The case of the Monster Study is an example of unethical scientific research that was performed without government regulation and had a permanent damaging effect on its subjects. Before the American Psychological Association established the ethics board for psychological research, Mary Tudor and Dr. Wendall Johnson performed a research study on speech production in orphan children. One group of children were given positive praise over the course of the therapy, whereas another group of children were given negative criticism. The group given the negative comments later in life developed speech impairments and suffered other negative psychological effects. Evidently, government should regulate the method in which scientific research is conducted to prevent the damaging effect the research may have on its subjects.

 

Now the question that remains is what determines whether or not the government should regulate scientific research. When living subjects are involved with the research process government should have an active role in regulating the study. For instance, in the Monster Study since there was no government regulation, participants of the study suffered permanent negative effects. Government regulation, however, is not necessary if the method of investigation does not require living participants, such was the case with Galileo's research. Hence, scientific research should be regulated by the government on the basis of the involvement of living subjects within the research process.

[PastaInhaler]

Technology solves many problems, but in the process often creates new ones.

 

It is without question that the 20th and 21st century has been marked by the surge of technology and computer-based devices. Unprecedented technological advances have been crucial to solving problems encountered in society, yet have contributed and trigger alternate problems. The last century has bared witness to countless wars fought in radically different manners, purely based on the drastic changes in technology. Instead of fighting with guns and ammunition in the muddy trenches, wars are now defined by bombs and the threat of weapons of mass destruction. Although the improvement of technology allows for increased security in terms of night vision goggles and radar to sense enemy attack, the rise in nuclear weapon research and production raises serious concerns. This was observed during the Cold War between the United States and Soviet Union and currently with North Korea, where weapons of mass destruction and their ability to ultimately destroy the world is the primary problem which has risen from the advancements in technology.

 

Technology creating further problems in the path of solving them is not a dominating theme in all fields, however. The developments in technology have paved the way for saving more lives, as patients can now be saved when it once was impossible. The new resources available in hospital for doctors is unparalleled by anything seen in the past, as robotic hands allow surgeons to remove a seemingly unreachable tumour to save a patient’s life. Technology is perceived as the medical field’s ally in conquering disease and prolonging the life of patients around the world, and no problems arise from the yearning to treat and heal.

 

Technology is the solution to many of the everyday problems faced by people today; however, it can come at a cost as it creates problems of its own. Although it allows for improved security and protection to the armed forces, it provides immense power to those who possess the technology to form nuclear weapons. This only causes uncertainty and fear for the rest of the world. However, medical advances made possible by technology results in the solely positive outcome of prolonged life and health to patients. Whether technology results in problems is determined by what the intension of pushing the endless boundaries of technology are. When technology is used to save lives, it has no faults, but when it is used to deny it, technology creates greater problems than the ones it is attempting to solve.

 

Demonstrates proficiency in responding to the tasks, adequate control of language. Some grammatical or usage problems.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLMN/OPQRST

[Gametime24]

"The introduction of modern technologies is harmful to underdeveloped areas of the world."

 

 

The development of modern technologies has profound effects on society. Not all of these, however, are positive. These new technologies can, in fact, be quite harmful to the underdeveloped areas of the world. In most cases, modern technology is fairly costly to the average family in a developed economy. Although this may not seem as if it is of any importance to the members of those developed areas, it effectively eliminates the chances of families or industry in currently developing economies from being able to employ this technology to better the quality of life in their respective areas. Consequently, this widens the gap between the standard of living in the developed and underdeveloped areas.

 

The usage of the new technologies by those that can afford them can add to some of the problems already being faced by the underdeveloped areas. For example, increased energy consumption by developed nations as they produce cars that drive faster, larger televisions, more expensive stereos, etc, can damage the global environment causing more stringent restrictions to be placed on the developing economies. As well, the development of many modern technologies such as computer-driven production lines reduces the need for workers to fill those positions. Taking into account that many of the large production plants are located in underdeveloped areas, this effectively pulls jobs out of their economy, dampening their attempts to achieve economic growth.

 

There are, however, situations in which modern technologies have positive effects for underdeveloped areas. One current example to consider is the enhancement of the traditional blue light technology for treating jaundice. The main improvement on this technology was the switch to LED bulbs rather than the historic CFL bulbs. This caused a vast reduction in the power usage and increased the lifetime of the bulbs, reducing the cost of treatment by almost 10 fold. As one can see, the implementation of this technology increases the affordability of the treatment and thus makes it more easily attainable for the underdeveloped areas of the world.

 

It is clear from the preceding discussion that one must contemplate the entire scenario when deciding whether or not a modern technology is harmful to the underdeveloped areas of the world. After taking into account the effects of the new technology, one must decide if it lowers or enhances the quality of life in an underdeveloped area. It is when the quality of life is in fact lowered by the implementation of the new technology that it can be said to be detrimental to the underdeveloped areas of the world.

 

 

 

First try at this, read a little bit about how to write these and decided to give it a go! Any constructive criticism is appreciated I hope to write a fair number between now and June 16th!

 

Thanks!

[PastaInhaler]

Hi! This is my first practice written response, it feels really short to me, so any feedback at all would be appreciated.

 

"The best kind of education encourages students to question authority"

 

Write a unified essay in which you accomplish the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which encouraging students to question authority is not the best kind of education. Discuss what you think determines when students should be encouraged to question authority.

 

My response:

 

Education in which students are encouraged to question what they are taught often produces adults who are able to think for themselves. It can be argued that these are the types of people who later become great scientists, politicians, and innovative educators themselves. Without education of this type, our worldviews would be confined by the principles and ideas of the past, and progress would be limited significantly. This situation can be likened to the style of government of the former Soviet Union, in which strict guidelines were placed on what the people were allowed to learn, prohibiting creativity and out-of-the-box thinking. The economic and social stagnation that arose from the Soviet regime is evidence of the negative effects of imposing authority and discouraging free thinking among people.

Although generally free thinking and the questioning of authority is a necessary aspect of the cultivation of a growing society, there are drawbacks to encouraging this behavior. At an extreme, students encouraged to question authority in a negative manner will often participate in violence and destructive behavior. The numerous examples of riots and violent protest throughout history speak to the dangers of allowing students to question authority and take action against it.

It is the manner of education provided to growing minds that determines whether questioning authority will be productive or destructive. Students must be taught to think for themselves and share their ideas with peers in a peaceful way; in turn their peers must be taught to receive these ideas with an open-mind. Violence is rarely the answer, nor is oppression. The teachings of Ghandi are an excellent example of this: taking a stand against authority must be accomplished in a peaceful manner, for violence is but a temporary solution. Each worldview has a valid point, and it is this that students must be educated to understand; we must take each and every idea presented to us and evaluate it thoughtfully, taking into account evidence both supportive and contrary.

 

Responds adequately to the tasks. Ideas presented in a coherent manner. Some clarity, but essay is lacking complexity.

 

The ideas in task#1 could be developed further. As well, task#2 could be developed further. Task#2 would benefit from a more specific example, even if just naming a country and specific political issue would be beneficial.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLM/NOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

Thank you PastaInhaler for your feedback on my first prompt. Here is my second attempt and once again, I appreciate your help! (I think everyone does )

 

A politician's true beliefs are displayed during a crisis.

 

Describe a specific situation in which a politician's true beliefs might not be displayed during a crisis. Discuss what you think determines whether or not a crisis will bring out a politician's true beliefs.

 

Sometimes when a person makes a friend, this friend might not be what they envisioned in the first place. In the beginning, they work together, laugh together and share secretes with one another. But sometimes, there is a reason for this "friendship." Sometimes there is a motive behind it, and once the goal is achieved, the individual learns the sad truth: the friend was two-faced. Similarly in the political stream, when a politician markets him or herself to the public, we may not get the full picture, but only what the prospect president paints for us. Sometimes, it is during an economical crisis in the country, a civil war between tribes, or the start of a revolution do we get the shocking truth about the person's true beliefs. In fact, sometimes there is an unfortunate price to pay to remove the politician whom we once voted for dearly to improve the country we live in. Take for example the revolution that sparked in December and fully ignited in January of 2011. The Egyptian people, particularly the youth, were not satisfied with Hosni Mubarak's ruling. They wanted change and as soon as possible. They protested against the government and asked for Hosni Mubarak's resignation, but unfortunately the president did not agree. It becomes very ironic then to see that a politician who wanted the good for the people is now acting against the people's wishes. In fact, news about Hosni Mubarak's international bank accounts and purchased lands made the headlines. He had expensive houses in London and the US, which were sanctioned in the revolution process because of the use of weapons against the civilians. It was a fight between pro-Mubarak and anti-Mubarak, with those being pro-Mubarak hired by the government. No one could have predicted that this would happen since Mubarak took presidency in Egypt. It was only during the revolution did Mubarak's true motivations become visible and not only in Egypt, but also on an international level.

 

However, sometimes politicians might not display their true beliefs during a crisis. This is the case when a politician wants to be re-elected for another term or elected for the first time. It is important to maintain the people's trust in order to get their votes in the next election. If the politician was to show his true ideology, which perhaps conflicts with the way people see a situation, it could prove detrimental to his or her chance of winning a seat in parliament or presidency. For example, when Obama was running for Presidency in 2008, his campaign revolved around the notion of Change. This change was what the people wanted to hear. He promised that he would return the troops from Iraq, focus on the economical problems in the nation, and close Guantanamo. This was a time of economic crisis in USA. USA's debt was and continues to rise because of the international wars they are a part of, including Afghanistan. People wanted their husbands, sons, daughters, and wives back from the battlefield and others wanted jobs to feed themselves or their children. When the US citizens hear Obama advocating for change, they follow him. Unfortunately Obama did not accomplish what he said in the Campaign. He did not close Guantanamo, and even though he is on the process of pulling the troops back from Iraq, troops were sent to Afghanistan. Perhaps better than before in terms of employment, the US dollar is now less than the Canadian dollar, and so the economy has probably not changed much. Had people known that Obama would send troops to Afghanistan to continue the war against terrorism, they might not have voted for him.

 

In order to win an election, politicians might not show their true motives to the public. It is unfortunate that sometimes we see the shocking truth during a crisis. If the crisis started before an election, such as an economic crisis, and it is still ongoing, then some politicians might use that to their advantage and hide their true beliefs from the public. However, if the crisis is directly related to the politician, such as Hosni Mubarak and the Egyptian revolution, then it is quite likely that the public might see the politician's true motives. Even the politician might not be able to stop the public from seeing his or her true beliefs.

 

You're welcome.

Demonstrates proficiency in responding to the tasks. Though, a grader may have a back-of-the-mind disagreement with your equation of beliefs=political motives, just something to be aware of. Adequate control of language, evidence of clarity and depth.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLMNO/PQRST

[PastaInhaler]

A politician's true beliefs are displayed during a crisis.

Describe a specific situation in which a politician's true beliefs might not be displayed during a crisis. Discuss what you think determines whether or not a crisis will bring out a politician's true beliefs.

 

 

It is commonly believed that "tough times bring out the worst in people." A politician' date=' a powerful figure within a nation, generally acts to satisfy the needs and wants of citizens. During prosperity, the affairs within the country are often moderate, and the citizenry is usually tranquil. However, during a crisis, a politician is expected to react with responsibility and leadership. Under most of these circumstances, a politician's beliefs and values may be portrayed. Pierre Trudeau, Canada's 15th prime minister, contributed significantly to Canada's political system as well as the lives of Canadians. Trudeau helped to establish the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms within the Constitution in 1982. Additionally, he helped maintain national unity against Quebec separatists. During the October Crisis of 1970, FLQ executed violent measures against the government. In response to the revolt, Trudeau introduced the War Measures Act that allowed authorities to detain members of the FLQ. His reaction to the crisis demonstrated political acumen, as well as his interest in maintaining national identity. Therefore, the October Crisis revealed Trudeau's true beliefs that despite the rights and freedoms of citizens, a revolt that risks the nation's security must be addressed with responsibility and leadership.

 

Although most crises may reveal a politician's true beliefs, some circumstances may in fact conceal the true values of a leader. Politicians who generally disregard the concerns and interests of the citizenry often hold a position of dictatorial power and act in their self-interest. December 2010 marked the beginning of a revolution that not only changed how the citizens of the country lived, but also encouraged others to take action to fight for their rights and freedoms. The Tunisian Revolution against President Ben Ali arose due to lack of political freedom, censorship, inflation and poor living conditions. The revolution strived for change, against a government that neglected many of its citizens. During the revolution, Ben Ali agreed to make changes within the nation in the interests of citizens; however, people demanded a new government. They communicated with one another through Facebook, severe censorship notwithstanding. Ben Ali's true beliefs, which he had held for years during his dictatorship, were not revealed during the crisis.

 

A politician's true beliefs may be portrayed during most crises. If the crisis risks national security and unity against a government that hopes to maintain tranquility, the true values of a politician may be revealed. However, when a crisis is marked by revolt against a government that operates in self-interest, neglecting the needs of many citizens, a desperate and distressed politician may falsely agree with the conditions of citizens. Under this circumstance, the true beliefs of the politician are not exposed. In conclusion, politicians who generally act in the best interest of the nation's citizens respond responsibly to crises, revealing their true beliefs. Conversely, a dictator who fears losing power against a national revolt will respond desperately, which however does not reflect their true beliefs.

 

 

Thank you for your time and efforts towards providing feedback to many people![/quote']

 

Demonstrates proficiency in responding to the tasks. A grader may take issue with your definition of true beliefs. Some elaboration will be needed. Ideas presented in a coherent manner.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLM/NOPQRST

[meager]

The rich have a responsibility to help the poor.

 

Financial instability is an obstacle that is very difficult to overcome and can act as a blockade to different opportunities. Financial aid provided by those who can allow the poor to reach their full potential and not be burdened by the prospect of debt and bankruptcy. Most university institutions provide their students with financial needs scholarships in the form of bursaries, which can be the determining factor in pursuing further education and not. Without this monetary aid, many students, who possess equivalent intellect and promise as their richer counterparts, would be incapable of paying the excessive tuition fees associated with secondary schooling. Many may be too discouraged by the overwhelming loans to even consider paying for school an option, in which their financial status has placed them in a predetermined disadvantage. The educational institution, which has money allotted for this purpose, is crucial in providing the poorer students with the option of school if they want it.

 

The concern associated with the rich providing monetary aid to the poor is the potential of the recipient using the money for disadvantageous reasons, rendering the money useless. Recently in Florida, the governor has passed a motion to require any citizen seeking welfare to undergo a drug test to confirm that the money will not go to purchasing recreational or illegal drugs. Those who test positive for drugs in their system will be denied welfare based on the assumption that the money will not be used for the appropriate purpose. The rich offer financial assistance to the poor with the intention of providing the means to improve their lives, not to fund their drug and alcohol addictions.

 

The poor will always benefit from financial support if it is efficiently used to better their lives. Hopeful students depend on bursaries from their respective and wealthy education systems to demonstrate their skills, talents, and smarts without the worry of financial instability. However, the rich are not responsible for providing money to those who merely take advantage of the system to subsidize their illegal habits, as witnessed in the state of Florida. When determining if the rich are responsible for helping the misfortuned in a time of financial stress, one must consider what the money is required for. If the basic necessities of life are unaccounted for, or if the money is required for further education and exploring new opportunities, the rich should be expected to lend a helping hand, and would rarely hesitate to do so.

[PastaInhaler]

The government should not regulate scientific research.

 

Research is the systematic method by which new discoveries are made or old conclusions are modified. Scientific research involves investigations within the natural world. The government should not regulate scientific research because it hinders new and useful discoveries and thus the progress of society. For instance, during the seventeenth century Galileo Galilei proposes a heliocentric model of the universe after performing intensive and systemic scientific research. However the government at the time, which included the church, regulated the type of scientific research that was conducted and the type of conclusions that was allowed to be made to the public. The government rejected Galileo's heliocentric proposal of the Earth, which has later been proved to be correct. This rejection was made on the basis of their own personal interests, which show that with government regulation there is less freedom to explore new and innovative ideas that could potentially lead to improved understanding of the natural world and thus the progress of humankind.

 

However, although government regulation may hinder innovative discoveries, sometimes regulation is needed to ensure the method by which research is performed is ethical and does not harm anyone in the process. The case of the Monster Study is an example of unethical scientific research that was performed without government regulation and had a permanent damaging effect on its subjects. Before the American Psychological Association established the ethics board for psychological research, Mary Tudor and Dr. Wendall Johnson performed a research study on speech production in orphan children. One group of children were given positive praise over the course of the therapy, whereas another group of children were given negative criticism. The group given the negative comments later in life developed speech impairments and suffered other negative psychological effects. Evidently, government should regulate the method in which scientific research is conducted to prevent the damaging effect the research may have on its subjects.

 

Now the question that remains is what determines whether or not the government should regulate scientific research. When living subjects are involved with the research process government should have an active role in regulating the study. For instance, in the Monster Study since there was no government regulation, participants of the study suffered permanent negative effects. Government regulation, however, is not necessary if the method of investigation does not require living participants, such was the case with Galileo's research. Hence, scientific research should be regulated by the government on the basis of the involvement of living subjects within the research process.

 

Demonstrates proficiency in responding to the tasks. Evidence of clarity and depth. Ideas presented in a coherent manner.

 

I feel this essay will score a:

JKLMNOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

"The introduction of modern technologies is harmful to underdeveloped areas of the world."

 

 

The development of modern technologies has profound effects on society. Not all of these, however, are positive. These new technologies can, in fact, be quite harmful to the underdeveloped areas of the world. In most cases, modern technology is fairly costly to the average family in a developed economy. Although this may not seem as if it is of any importance to the members of those developed areas, it effectively eliminates the chances of families or industry in currently developing economies from being able to employ this technology to better the quality of life in their respective areas. Consequently, this widens the gap between the standard of living in the developed and underdeveloped areas.

 

The usage of the new technologies by those that can afford them can add to some of the problems already being faced by the underdeveloped areas. For example, increased energy consumption by developed nations as they produce cars that drive faster, larger televisions, more expensive stereos, etc, can damage the global environment causing more stringent restrictions to be placed on the developing economies. As well, the development of many modern technologies such as computer-driven production lines reduces the need for workers to fill those positions. Taking into account that many of the large production plants are located in underdeveloped areas, this effectively pulls jobs out of their economy, dampening their attempts to achieve economic growth.

 

There are, however, situations in which modern technologies have positive effects for underdeveloped areas. One current example to consider is the enhancement of the traditional blue light technology for treating jaundice. The main improvement on this technology was the switch to LED bulbs rather than the historic CFL bulbs. This caused a vast reduction in the power usage and increased the lifetime of the bulbs, reducing the cost of treatment by almost 10 fold. As one can see, the implementation of this technology increases the affordability of the treatment and thus makes it more easily attainable for the underdeveloped areas of the world.

 

It is clear from the preceding discussion that one must contemplate the entire scenario when deciding whether or not a modern technology is harmful to the underdeveloped areas of the world. After taking into account the effects of the new technology, one must decide if it lowers or enhances the quality of life in an underdeveloped area. It is when the quality of life is in fact lowered by the implementation of the new technology that it can be said to be detrimental to the underdeveloped areas of the world.

 

 

 

First try at this, read a little bit about how to write these and decided to give it a go! Any constructive criticism is appreciated I hope to write a fair number between now and June 16th!

 

Thanks!

 

Ideas are somewhat developed. Evidence of clarity of thought.

You may need more background info for the examples in task#2, and an expansion of the abbreviations, light-emitting diode (LED), a new and emerging emitter technology that is more efficient, has a 50,000h burn time, gives off the same amount of light with a tenfold less electricity usage, greater durability, better heat tolerance., etc...

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLMNO/PQRST

[Gametime24]

Thanks for the info! I def agree that I should have developed that point more, just noticed I hadn't paced properly and was running out of time to write and still needed to address task #3, next one should be paced a little bit better and hopefully move up that rank a little bit!

 

Here's to a hopeful Q on the next one! Thanks again, this is actually a great help!

[scubagirl]

Second attempt.

 

"Violence is never a real solution to a political crisis"

 

 

 

Violence has played a major role in national and international politics throughout history. Only recently, however, has the general consensus swayed to favor negotiation on peaceful terms and the avoidance of war and bloodshed. This change in ideology is likely a result of the realization that in general, war and violence is but a temporary solution, causing oppression: obedience from the defeated but not real change. The high cost of violence as a solution to political crisis does not match the benefits of the outcome; further, it is rare that one act of violence will cause an end to a crisis, but rather violence, or the threat of violence, is required to maintain order and obedience in the oppressed group once achieved.

 

There is evidence, however, that violence can be beneficial, and is even required in some situations; for example, the American occupation of Iraq. Unfortunately, the American troops were required to use some means to protect themselves, resulting in bloodshed; in the troops defense, violence was used as a last resort and not a first choice. In this situation, it can be argued that violence was the only option the American government had, because the Iraqi people were governed by a group that itself promoted violence and oppression. The Iraqi government at the time was not open to negotiation, and in the name of both American and Iraqi people, invasion was the only option.

 

While violence should usually be discouraged, there are clearly cases in which it is necessary to restore peace and order. Violence should only be used when all other peaceful efforts have been exhausted. In addition, violence should be resorted to only when it is to protect the immediate and future safety of a large amount of people; If we maintain our personal and political policies according to these guidelines, we can ultimate reduce violence and promote peace.

 

 

Thanks so much!

[Gametime24]

Hey, second attempt here!

 

 

 

Employers should not withhold information from their employees.

 

The relationship between an employer and their employees is one of the most integral pieces of a well functioning work environment. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, a certain element of trust must exist within the workplace. This cannot exist if the employees feel that their employer is dishonest, deceiving, or, for that matter, less than reputable in any way. There are numerous ways that one can go about building this trust; one of which is to offer full disclosure of information pertinent to the work place. This not only allows the employees to see that their employer is, in fact, trustworthy, provided that the employer conducts business in a respectful fashion, but also that the employer is making a conscious effort to build communication with the employees. Once a good relationship has been developed, both the employees and employer are more likely to go out of their way to help each other as they feel a closer, more personal commitment to one another.

 

There are, however, certain situations that warrant the withholding of information by the employer. A prominent example of such a situation is when the information may affect the productivity of the employees such that it is not representative of their true work ethic. For example, one can imagine the workplace as a hotel, with numerous employees ranging from the cleaning staff to the desk attendants. If an inspection is imminent, it may be beneficial to the hotels reputation to inform the employees so that they will work harder during the weeks beforehand to put forth the best image of the hotel possible. However, if the employees are not informed, the inspection allows the employer to gain a better understanding of the everyday productivity of the employees and make changes as they see fit; these may be positive or negative. This allows the employer to be able to increase the quality of the year-round care experienced by the hotels guests as the inspection evaluates a more accurate representation of the hotel.

 

One can see that the disclosure of information in the workplace is not a topic that deals with clear absolutes and must be addressed with care. With all things considered, employers should strive to keep communication with their employees as open as possible in order to maintain a healthy work environment. However, there are some exceptions to this statement, most specifically when the quality of work being performed is in question. Employers must take this into account and act accordingly when deciding the extent to which they will disclose information to their employees with regards to a situation.

 

 

Thanks again for all of your help!

[meager]

In a democracy, citizens who do not vote cannot affect their nation’s political destiny.

 

It has been a recent dominating trend that fewer younger people are not executing their right to vote in elections at all government levels. This can be attributed to the lack of interest of the newly eligible votes for the political world or for the lacklustre government officials and party leaders. In Canada’s latest federal election, the results were considered staggering and unexpected as the Conservative Party won a majority government and the Liberals for the first time failed to win enough ridings to either secure their position as the party in power or official opposition. Statistics reveal that the older generations, who tend to vote right wing conservative, made their way to the polling stations to vote, while the younger generations did not demonstrate their voting privileges. The indifference expressed by the younger crowd, who generally possess a more Liberal left wing perspective, failed to contribute to their nation’s political destiny and their expectations of the government may not be reached because of this.

 

Although voting during elections is the most direct and immediate contribution a citizen can make to a nation’s destiny, it is not necessary for them to vote to influence how a country is governed. Citizens below the age of 18 in Canada are not eligible to vote, however, they play a crucial indirect role. Studies show that adults with young children have different priorities and prospects than single adults without children. Parents with children tend to place education and services such as daycare at the top of their hierarchy of needs and expectations, while placing important on different issues as a childless adults. Despite not being able to vote independently, children change a parent’s outlook and influence on a nation’s political destiny.

 

Every citizen of a nation has the ability to provide input on how a nation is governed, both directly and indirectly. Voting in political elections to elect the representative of a riding, city, or country is a citizen’s most appropriate and significant approach to maintaining or creating change in the world of politics. However, as observed in young children, it is not necessary for citizens to vote to shape a nation and its current government in power. Ultimately is it up to the people to determine how much of an impact they will play in moulding a nation, since everyone has an individual, distinct vision for the country. If they decide to exercise this right to be a factor in developing the nation’s political destiny, any democratic country has given them the opportunity to.

[Asta]

Thanks again!

 

 

Only those politicians who have learned the art of compromise can achieve their political goals.

 

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which a politician might achieve a political goal without compromising. Discuss what you think determines when politicians should compromise to achieve a political goal.

 

 

Politics can be described as the societal balance of power. There are numerous and varied political systems, and political goals can be achieved in a number of ways. Political change can effect a whole population and the global community as a whole. Modern, Western politics follows a democratic process. A key skill of a politician involved in democratic politics is compromise, which can be defined as the ability and willingness to examine different veiwpoints and make concessions to opponents. In Canada, a minority conservative government ruled the country federally for five years. By definition, this minority government controlled less than half of the seats in the House of Commons. In order to pass any legislation, support from at least one of the opposition parties was needed. In this situation, the conservative government, lead by Stephen Harper, became very well-versed in the fine art of compromise.

 

In contrast, the have been numerous politicians who refused to compromise, but achieved their political goals. For example, Joseph Stalin, the former dictatorial leader of the Soviet Union, refused to compromise on his hard-lined Communist party policy. He sought to make the Soviet Union into a global super power and succeeded. Under Stalin, the USSR also became a nuclear power. The overwhelming tenacity with which Stalin approached this goal led to the deaths of many Soviet citizens, but the goal of super power status was achieved none-the-less. The Dalai Lama can be held up as another, more positive, example of a politician who does not compromise. The Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader of Tibet, a region that has long been annexed by China. The Dalai Lama has led the citizens of Tibet in a decades long struggle for independence from China. The government of China has consistently denied Tibet independence, but has offered many, much lesser concessions. The Dalai Lama has refused these concessions and has persistently fought for Tibetan independence. This struggle has gained a world-wide audience and there is widespread, global support for Tibetan independence.

 

Indeed, there are a number of factors that determine whether a politician can achieve his or her political goals without compromising. In dictatorial nations the political leader often does not have to compromise. This is especially true if there exists a significant cult of personality, as was the case with Stalin. In contrast, in democratic nations, compromise is generally essential to achieve political progress. The goal itself also determines if compromise is an option. In the case of Tibet, where absolute independence is the goal, not compromise can be accepted. Similarly in the USSR, where super power status was the overwhelming goal, compromise was not accepted. In Canada, where the goal could be the passing of the federal budget, compromise is not only acceptable, it is often necessary.

[sticky1]

Hi. Can you give me some feedback on my essay? Thanks

 

Art should not challenge our perception of the world.

 

Describe a specific situation in which art challenges our perception of the world. Discuss what you think determines whether or not art should challenge our perception of the world.

 

Art is the product of deliberately arranging items in a way that influences and affects one or more of our senses, emotions and intellect. Art changes our perception of the world because it changes how one sees the world and makes sense of the world. Works of art can engender beliefs about the world and in turn can provide knowledge about the world. Death is a topic that everyone will witness countless times during his or her life. Many people fear death because of how much pain it causes to loved ones. Death of loved ones, animals and strangers are just a few examples that can mold one’s impression of death. My friend, John, has experienced death on several occasions, one of which was the death of his grandfather. John’s grandfather was in a lot of pain and was bedridden for months. For him death was almost inevitable and was the answer to the pain that he was feeling. Because of his grandfather’s death, John always thought of death has being imperative, yet inevitable. When I was in grade 9 in my Spanish class, I remember watching an informational movie with John on the art of bull fighting. A man dressed in colored clothing chases a bull around the ring, and tries to lodge a sharp instrument in his shoulder blade, and inevitably kill him. In this art form, death is put as a light-hearted form of entertainment. After John witnessed this art form, his perception of death was affected, and he started to perceive death as light-hearted. John was now perceiving death as almost graceful and serene. This art portrays death as un-daunting and John started to perceive death as less fearful after the movie.

 

Many western countries view climate change as a serious problem to the sustainability of the earth. The purpose of the 1984 Climax climate change art exhibition in Paris, was to have visitors experience an emotional “climate shock” such that it affects their thinking about the environment. However, many people who visited the art exhibition viewed it as a failure and were not impressed by it because they had no prior knowledge of even what climate change was. People had no prior knowledge of how climate change would impact them, and as a result, the art did not change their perception of climate change as a serious risk to sustainability of the earth.

 

What determines whether art changes one's perception of the world is whether one has prior knowledge with that art. If one has experienced death in the family and has knowledge about the emotional impact it has, then certain art such as death during a bull fight may elicit certain emotions that may change ones perceptions about death. If one has no prior experience or knowledge about climate change it may be difficult for art to change their perception of how climate change will affect sustainability of earth. Therefore, prior knowledge dictates whether art will change how one perceives the world.

[globy321]

Can you mark my essay please. Thank you!

 

Of all forms of media, television has the strongest influence on public opinion.

 

Television is one of the most common appliances in the world. Television is a telecommunication medium for transmitting images, text, and voice. It’s wide spread availability in the majority of homes makes it a great tool for informing the public about major issues that affects their lives. However, television can also be used to change people’s opinion about a certain issue. During the 2000 televised Portugal federal election debate, the liberal party leader Hugh Medrez explained that abortion should be legalized because of the many that young teens can gain such as a better education instead of raising a child. Hugh Medrez was able to influence public opinion on abortion during his televised speech by selling to the public that these young women need a second chance in life and they should be able to postpone child bearing for when the time is adequate. Furthermore, Hugh Mendrez added that due t ohigh unemployment women may seek an abortion because they may want to bring a child where they cannot afford to take good care of the child. This may mean that the child grows up in inadequate homes and lack of good parenting causes the child to move In the wrong direction as an adult. Due to high unemployment reat, many people agreed with Hugh Medrez’s arguments on abortion and he was able to influence on how people view abortion from killing of an innocent baby to a better future for the young teen. This lead to the victory of Hugh Medrez in federal election.

 

Apples’ announced the addition of IPAD to it’s product line through a conference that was broadcasted over the internet live. The majority of people who are tech savy and who are interested in new technology were able to view the conference on the internet. This allowed Apple to target a small but important audience who were interested in new technology such as IPAD, who would review this product and provide their opinions to the non-technology savy individuals. Due to many positive reviews of IPAD online, public opinion of IPAD in general was positive and everyone was rushing to the store to get their hands on an IPAD. In this case, the internet was great tool for influencing a particular small tech-savy audience.

 

What determines whether television will affect public opinion is the size of the audience that it’s trying to reach. For a big audience such as population of Portugal, television can have a strong influence on public opinion on matters such as abortion because television is widely available and accessible. Issues such as abortion televised can quickly grab people’s attention from other things they have going on in their lives and make them think about the issue. For a small audience such as tech-savy individuals, internet may have a more influence on their opinion than television because they are able to analyze the technology and have meaningful discussion in internet forms and blogs. Therefore, internet engages tech-savy people to provide feedback on a new product such as the IPAD which will then influence the opinions of non-tech savy people on the IPAD.

[Tags]

Thanks once again.

 

Progress often complicates as much as it simplifies

 

Progress occurs when society moves forward in one or more dimensions of life. These dimensions can include scientific progress, social progress, or other types of progress. The goal of progress is to make life easier or to simplify life. However, discoveries that may initially simplify life often complicate it just as much.

 

An example of something that complicates as much as it simplifies is Facebook. Facebook was created with the intention of being a social media centre that simplified relationships with others. This technological advancement acted as a place where friends could send event invitations or contact each other. However, as much as it has simplified connection between friends, it has complicated the employer-employee relationship. As people begin posting more information and pictures on Facebook, they must be increasingly more cautious about what they say. For example, a teaching assistant at an Ontario university was fired for posting a status that demeaned the students she marked. Clearly her life was complicated just as much as it was simplified by Facebook.

 

On the other hand, progress does sometimes lead to simplification without complication. A recent change to the Ontario liquor law removed existing restrictions at festivals and events where alcohol was restricted to small venues known as beer tents. This progression in the law made life at festivals much more enjoyable for those attending as they can now roam freely throughout the entire venue. This also makes it easier for law enforcement as more relaxed laws make controlling alcohol consumption less of an issue. By changing a rule that was already in place, progress led to the simplification of life for the majority of people without creating further complications.

 

Progress can occur in one of two forms. It can be created as invention of new ideas or as innovation to old ideas. In terms of complication, invention will likely lead to as much complication of life as simplification while further successful innovation to that idea will continually simplify life without further complication.

[The Man Myth Legend]

History is the record of

humanity's wars.

 

Describe a specific situation in which history might be the

record of something other than humanity's wars. Discuss what you think

determines when history should be the record of humanity's wars and when it

should be something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Interestingly,

it is rather easy for children to sit through a history class in elementary

school and learn about the development of humanity. On the other hand, the term

"history" is quit complex and cannot be defined by simply humanity's progession

though time. Put consisly, history is the record of humanity's ability to learn

from the past. In certain times, humanity fails and delves into the wrong side

of moral righteousness. For

exaple, world war two was a time in which cauos and havic took the betterment

of judgement. The result was the United States of America becoming morally

blind, pulling all means nessessary in order to end the war. Japan's Heroshima

was bomded by nuclear missiles destroying the entire town and killing

thousands. In this case, history is indeed the record of humanity's wars

because the event that took place involved the killing of humans.

 

 

 

Other

times however, humanity overcomes its vices and history is then a record of

humanity's achievement. For example, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandella, and

Malcom X all strived to eraticate slavery. During the early 1900's, equality

between races was one of humanities biggest issues. Through diligent effort,

slavery was discontiunued. This is a case where humanity overcame a vice because

the event involed the freeing of human lives. Therefore, history is the record

of humanity's achievement.

 

 

Although it is satisfactory of children in Elemantary School to understand history as a

record of time, it does not sum the complexity of histoy. The line can be drawn

by discussing whether or not humanity benifts as a whole by the events that

takes place or not. In the case of shameful war and lose of human life, history

is the record of humanity's wars. In the case of prideful erratication of

slavery, history is the record of humanity's achievement.

[Gametime24]

Third attempt! (Written before seeing comments on my second attempt, so hopefully it will still show some improvement!)

 

 

A nation's foreign aid should be directed to help those countries that help themselves.

 

The designated to be used to aid the development and stability of foreign countries is, generally, wasted when spent on countries that are either not willing to, or have no desire to help themselves. The money allocated to these countries does not make and noticeable change in the overall quality of life as it is most often minute in comparison to the needs of the country. The main issue with providing nations that are not making strides towards improving their conditions themselves is ensuring that the money is being put to use in a way that is beneficial to the peoples of the nation. Many of the underdeveloped nations that have not moved towards improving their overall quality of life have governments that are corrupt and in turmoil. The money given to these countries is then susceptible to laundering by some of the government officials. In order to ensure acceptable usage of the given money in a nation that has not shown it is willing to make choices for the better of its people requires a presence of the nation that is donating the money. This, however, cannot be seen as an appropriate method of aid as it deprives the nation accepting the aid of its full independence.

 

There are, as is most often the case, exceptions to the preceding statements. For example, if a nation is in turmoil that cannot be brought to an end internally, it is the responsibility of the nations that have methods of helping to do so. One might think of the nation of Rwanda during the year 1994. During which a massive genocide occurred, claiming the lives of roughly eight hundred thousand people as two tribes, the Hutu’s and the Tutsi’s, waged war on each other. This is a historic example of the atrocities that can occur when proper intervention steps are not taken. The United Nations could have, and should have, funded an intervention that would have saved many lives. The failure of the United Nations has even been acknowledged by United Nations representatives.

 

With respect to the allocation of foreign aid, the capability of the receiving nation to end its problems itself should be taken into account. If a nation is fully capable of helping themselves, and simply refuses to take the steps necessary, the aid should be used in some other fashion. That is because aiding such nations only perpetuates their current actions. However, if it is clear that the nation cannot resolve its issues on its own, foreign aid from nations capable of sending it should be used to help set the receiving nation back on track towards economic and social stability.

 

 

Thanks so much for all of your help, I really had no idea what to expect for this section of the mcat, what you're doing here is amazing!

[PastaInhaler]

The rich have a responsibility to help the poor.

 

Financial instability is an obstacle that is very difficult to overcome and can act as a blockade to different opportunities. Financial aid provided by those who can allow the poor to reach their full potential and not be burdened by the prospect of debt and bankruptcy. Most university institutions provide their students with financial needs scholarships in the form of bursaries, which can be the determining factor in pursuing further education and not. Without this monetary aid, many students, who possess equivalent intellect and promise as their richer counterparts, would be incapable of paying the excessive tuition fees associated with secondary schooling. Many may be too discouraged by the overwhelming loans to even consider paying for school an option, in which their financial status has placed them in a predetermined disadvantage. The educational institution, which has money allotted for this purpose, is crucial in providing the poorer students with the option of school if they want it.

 

The concern associated with the rich providing monetary aid to the poor is the potential of the recipient using the money for disadvantageous reasons, rendering the money useless. Recently in Florida, the governor has passed a motion to require any citizen seeking welfare to undergo a drug test to confirm that the money will not go to purchasing recreational or illegal drugs. Those who test positive for drugs in their system will be denied welfare based on the assumption that the money will not be used for the appropriate purpose. The rich offer financial assistance to the poor with the intention of providing the means to improve their lives, not to fund their drug and alcohol addictions.

 

The poor will always benefit from financial support if it is efficiently used to better their lives. Hopeful students depend on bursaries from their respective and wealthy education systems to demonstrate their skills, talents, and smarts without the worry of financial instability. However, the rich are not responsible for providing money to those who merely take advantage of the system to subsidize their illegal habits, as witnessed in the state of Florida. When determining if the rich are responsible for helping the misfortuned in a time of financial stress, one must consider what the money is required for. If the basic necessities of life are unaccounted for, or if the money is required for further education and exploring new opportunities, the rich should be expected to lend a helping hand, and would rarely hesitate to do so.

 

Task#1 is not adequately addressed. You may need to clarify the connection between financial aid and the rich. This is important in connecting your first paragraph to the prompt. The ideas in paragraph#2 will need to be expanded and explained more -you're definitely onto something. Task#3 was sufficient. Overall, strive to finish a little early so that you can go through the essay again and clean up some of the grammar and mechanics.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLMNOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

Second attempt.

 

"Violence is never a real solution to a political crisis"

 

 

 

Violence has played a major role in national and international politics throughout history. Only recently, however, has the general consensus swayed to favor negotiation on peaceful terms and the avoidance of war and bloodshed. This change in ideology is likely a result of the realization that in general, war and violence is but a temporary solution, causing oppression: obedience from the defeated but not real change. The high cost of violence as a solution to political crisis does not match the benefits of the outcome; further, it is rare that one act of violence will cause an end to a crisis, but rather violence, or the threat of violence, is required to maintain order and obedience in the oppressed group once achieved.

 

There is evidence, however, that violence can be beneficial, and is even required in some situations; for example, the American occupation of Iraq. Unfortunately, the American troops were required to use some means to protect themselves, resulting in bloodshed; in the troops defense, violence was used as a last resort and not a first choice. In this situation, it can be argued that violence was the only option the American government had, because the Iraqi people were governed by a group that itself promoted violence and oppression. The Iraqi government at the time was not open to negotiation, and in the name of both American and Iraqi people, invasion was the only option.

 

While violence should usually be discouraged, there are clearly cases in which it is necessary to restore peace and order. Violence should only be used when all other peaceful efforts have been exhausted. In addition, violence should be resorted to only when it is to protect the immediate and future safety of a large amount of people; If we maintain our personal and political policies according to these guidelines, we can ultimate reduce violence and promote peace.

 

 

Thanks so much!

 

You're welcome.

 

Responds adequately to the tasks. Though, task#1 may benefit from an example to clearly encapsulate your ideas, and really to avoid any confusion on the part of the essay reader. Task#2 could use a little more explanation.

This can be tough, because you may feel that what is needed to be explained has already explained, but doing so will move you up the rankings.

Task#3 is sufficiently addressed.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLNN/OPQRST

[meager]

Television has more influence in people than books do.

 

Society today is dominated by the screen, where it is rare and unrealistic to find a household in the developed world that does not have a television. Television has evolved into the dominating influence over books, because it is a form of media that encompasses countless forms of entertainment. Television provides advertisement via commercials, entertainment via shows and sporting events, and most importantly, up-to-date immediate new coverage from all over the globe. Among the most quintessential aspects of television which is uncontested by books is the instantaneous information available to the people to maintain a well informed public. The news helps dictate how the people live their lives, from local reports such as the weather forecast, to more global issues such as the economical crisis and information from the wars overseas.

 

Although they cannot compete with the immediate and informative advantages of television, books feed the imagination of children and adults alike in a way not possible through a screen. The imagery, scenery, and character appearance which the reader can create is all available, hence, limited during television shows and movies. Many movies and television programs are based on popular books, and avid fans usually prefer the books because the endless boundaries that accommodate words, but not images. Although the Harry Potter movie series are extremely popular, the foundation of their fan base was developed through the massive following of the books. These books had an overwhelming influence on the children of the generation, where the public considered J.K Rowling as a celebrity and witnessed line ups to buy books instead of watching television.

 

It is difficult to compare the influence of television and books because each affects a distinct aspect of one’s life. Television is current, where everything on the screen from the advertised products and television programs are made to be new and the predominant influence is on lifestyle. This is in contrast to books, where the information is timeless: the characters and story plots are made to carry with each generation, and the influence is on imagination and creativity. Television and books have different strengths, both being able to prompt thought from their respective viewers and readers.

[PastaInhaler]

Hey, second attempt here!

 

 

 

Employers should not withhold information from their employees.

 

The relationship between an employer and their employees is one of the most integral pieces of a well functioning work environment. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, a certain element of trust must exist within the workplace. This cannot exist if the employees feel that their employer is dishonest, deceiving, or, for that matter, less than reputable in any way. There are numerous ways that one can go about building this trust; one of which is to offer full disclosure of information pertinent to the work place. This not only allows the employees to see that their employer is, in fact, trustworthy, provided that the employer conducts business in a respectful fashion, but also that the employer is making a conscious effort to build communication with the employees. Once a good relationship has been developed, both the employees and employer are more likely to go out of their way to help each other as they feel a closer, more personal commitment to one another.

 

There are, however, certain situations that warrant the withholding of information by the employer. A prominent example of such a situation is when the information may affect the productivity of the employees such that it is not representative of their true work ethic. For example, one can imagine the workplace as a hotel, with numerous employees ranging from the cleaning staff to the desk attendants. If an inspection is imminent, it may be beneficial to the hotels reputation to inform the employees so that they will work harder during the weeks beforehand to put forth the best image of the hotel possible. However, if the employees are not informed, the inspection allows the employer to gain a better understanding of the everyday productivity of the employees and make changes as they see fit; these may be positive or negative. This allows the employer to be able to increase the quality of the year-round care experienced by the hotels guests as the inspection evaluates a more accurate representation of the hotel.

 

One can see that the disclosure of information in the workplace is not a topic that deals with clear absolutes and must be addressed with care. With all things considered, employers should strive to keep communication with their employees as open as possible in order to maintain a healthy work environment. However, there are some exceptions to this statement, most specifically when the quality of work being performed is in question. Employers must take this into account and act accordingly when deciding the extent to which they will disclose information to their employees with regards to a situation.

 

 

Thanks again for all of your help!

 

You're welcome, glad to help, really.

 

A small nuance first. This is known to the essay readers, but not the test takers. Outside of the essay, nothing else exists, and therefore there is no "statement" that you can refer to. So avoid referring to a statement or prompt as much as possible. It's a small trap that the essay readers are aware of, and it affects their holistic scoring unfortunately. The extreme case of this is "This statement, to me, means that employers have to share all of their knowledge about the job with their employees. This is because it helps them to do their job..." You haven't done this, but it's good to be aware of it.

 

A good counter example in task#2. It may be helpful though to post an example to task#1 just to be fair to task#1. Task#1 may feel kinda mistreated or left out. But, it is also useful in driving home your point about what the benefits to the employer and employee relationship are when there is a good transfer of information. Task#3 was handled well.

 

JKLMN/OPQRST

[Gametime24]

Thanks again! Hopefully I'll get the hang of the writing sample soon! Trying to nail down WS and VR at the moment. I'll make sure to try and develop both task #1 and task #2 with examples for my next essay and to bring them both together in the third task. Any other quick tips would be nice! Is there anything specific they look for in the more high scoring essays? Or is it more about the overall feel of the essay (ie flows well, good use of language, and all tasks discussed and developed)?

[rainbowskittles12]

Dude. Rockstar. Srsly. Here's round 2. I'm using your feedback to break into the "average" category

 

Although it claims to promote individuality, most advertising promotes conformity.

 

In advertising, there are two successful marketing approaches to appeal to the buying public. These two approaches juggle two contradictory, yet ironically, simultaneous universal needs. The first approach appeals to the need to fit in and be accepted - to conform to the mainstream ideal. This approach is successful because it gives the consumer a sense of belonging. The second approach differs from this methods as it appeals to the need to feel unique and stand-out. This approach is successful because it makes the buyer feel that by choosing this specific product, he or she is "special."

It is obvious that the use of images in advertising that promote conformity is prevalent in all types of media. A prototypical example of this is children's clothing stores such asTarget. This retailer advertises "back to school" sales heavily at the beginning of the fall season. In advertisements set in playgrounds and classrooms, children who have clothing from Target are seen wearing trendy clothing and being admired by their friends and complimented by their peers. By marketing Target clothing as the ideal and expected brand of clothing for school age children, this advertisement promotes a wardrobe that blends in on the school yard, worn by a student who conforms to other children.

However, other marketing campaigns prove that promote individuality can be also be successful. The Dove Beauty campaign advertises body cleansers and shampoo in multi-media features that use "real" women, making a point not to employ professional models. These campaigns promote not only Dove, but using their products to demonstrate self-esteem and self-worth. The message that these advertisements promote is that individuality is as important to Dove as it is to the Dove consumer. A woman who buys Dove products - which are becoming increasingly more popular - does not want to look like everyone else. And she is okay with that.

The goal of all advertising is to market the values a product represents. When these values are shared by the consumer, he or she will buy these products. Advertising promotes individuality when it also, in essence, promotes the consumer. This advertising approach sells the consumer on the values of uniqueness and self-determination. In contrast, advertising promotes conformity when it instead promotes the product or the lifestyle that the product represents. Advertising that promotes conformity sells the consumer on valuing being one of the 'in' crowd. Although advertising to the individual and to the mass market represent two different extremes and value sets, they are both effective methods of advertising.