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Lost (With Updates and Acceptance)


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Thank you everyone!!! You guys have been so supportive - it's a bit mind blowing. As for the big news: I was accepted!

 

Although this is a really great success for me, I just want to emphasize that I didn't have an insane cathartic moment. Sure there will be transient happiness with good news, but your true source of happiness starts way before that. So for those of you who are in the same position I was in last year - please please please don't feel demoralized. You have the opportunity to do great things outside of medicine. Work hard for your career, but don't neglect your personal lives. This year was amazing for me, and I worked hard to be happy with my personal life. So this is just the cherry on top.

 

I want to direct you guys to this thread, which I think does a good job of conveying this from current medical students:

 

http://forums.premed101.com/index.php?/topic/95056-what-would-you-have-done-differently/

 

TL;DR I didn't have a magical cathartic moment by getting this acceptance. The acceptance isn't a magical gateway to happiness. So those of you who haven't gotten in yet, don't feel as if you can't be happy in the meanwhile and during your re-applications.

 

Sorry if this sounded a bit convoluted, but I am just in a break during work and wanted to update all you awesome people!!

 

Thanks again for all the love!!

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Thank you everyone!!! You guys have been so supportive - it's a bit mind blowing. As for the big news: I was accepted!

 

Although this is a really great success for me, I just want to emphasize that I didn't have an insane cathartic moment. Sure there will be transient happiness with good news, but your true source of happiness starts way before that. So for those of you who are in the same position I was in last year - please please please don't feel demoralized. You have the opportunity to do great things outside of medicine. Work hard for your career, but don't neglect your personal lives. This year was amazing for me, and I worked hard to be happy with my personal life. So this is just the cherry on top.

 

I want to direct you guys to this thread, which I think does a good job of conveying this from current medical students:

 

http://forums.premed101.com/index.php?/topic/95056-what-would-you-have-done-differently/

 

TL;DR I didn't have a magical cathartic moment by getting this acceptance. The acceptance isn't a magical gateway to happiness. So those of you who haven't gotten in yet, don't feel as if you can't be happy in the meanwhile and during your re-applications.

 

Sorry if this sounded a bit convoluted, but I am just in a break during work and wanted to update all you awesome people!!

 

Thanks again for all the love!!

YAY!!! CONGRATULATIONS RICHARD!!  :D

I can't stop smiling right now and I don't know why! :lol: I'm just so happy for you!!

I may not know you personally but you have worked super duper hard and you truly deserve this Acceptance to Medical school. All of your hard work has really paid off and I genuinely think that you now have a better appreciation of the words "Hard work", "Progress" and "Success".

This new journey has just began and this new chapter is about to start and I can't wait to hear from you soon.

Keep us updated, okay?

 

Best Wishes to your future endeavours!

 

EDIT: Woah! I didn't even realize that you linked my thread! Thank you! :) 

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Thank you everyone!!! You guys have been so supportive - it's a bit mind blowing. As for the big news: I was accepted!

 

Although this is a really great success for me, I just want to emphasize that I didn't have an insane cathartic moment. Sure there will be transient happiness with good news, but your true source of happiness starts way before that. So for those of you who are in the same position I was in last year - please please please don't feel demoralized. You have the opportunity to do great things outside of medicine. Work hard for your career, but don't neglect your personal lives. This year was amazing for me, and I worked hard to be happy with my personal life. So this is just the cherry on top.

 

I want to direct you guys to this thread, which I think does a good job of conveying this from current medical students:

 

http://forums.premed101.com/index.php?/topic/95056-what-would-you-have-done-differently/

 

TL;DR I didn't have a magical cathartic moment by getting this acceptance. The acceptance isn't a magical gateway to happiness. So those of you who haven't gotten in yet, don't feel as if you can't be happy in the meanwhile and during your re-applications.

 

Sorry if this sounded a bit convoluted, but I am just in a break during work and wanted to update all you awesome people!!

 

Thanks again for all the love!!

 

 

Congrats!! So happy for you, I want to grow up and be like you one day :) 

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Hi all,

I haven't had a chance to be as active or contribute to the community as much I'd like to be, but I figured I'd post an update/reflection on here. I feel like many of us non-trads go through similar challenges when applying to and/or completing medical school. I hope some of you are able to derive some inspiration through my process and avoid the mistakes I've made.

Guilt: I feel like this is often a burden to us. Guilt for being behind. Guilt for not performing on tests/courses. Guilt for not preparing hard enough for interviews. That's not to say you shouldn't have a constructive analysis of previous mistakes, just don't feel guilty about your previous life circumstances. I think being able to make mistakes, learning from them, and improving is as admirable (if not more) than never making any mistakes at all. So embrace your past self, learn from their mistakes, and improve on them. Building on your imperfections is what’s made you so strong.  

For me, I had started feeling a lot of guilt after getting into medical school for not maintaining the intensity that I kept throughout the process of getting there. I started feeling guilt for taking time for myself and not dedicating it towards philanthropic pursuits. And I recently realized: if I don't take time for myself and learn how to be a happy/healthy individual, am I really in a great position to try to provide these tools to my patients/others? It doesn't matter what stage you're in (pre-med, medical student, doc), taking time for yourself to be happy/healthy is not something you should ever feel guilty about. I would argue that this might be one of the more important aspects of life: creating a sphere of healthiness/happiness around you by first making yourself happy and healthy. Participate in charity and philanthropy, but don't overextend yourself. Always remember, charity begins at home! 

Purposelessness: There's sometimes a tendency to be tunnel-visioned into working extremely hard to get into med. You don't think too much about what happens after, and just assume that things will be amazing after. Its important to realize that 1st/2nd year are primarily lecture-based. There is very limited patient interaction, so you don't the positive feedback of helping others during this time. As an example, I saw my older brother battle through addiction once he got to professional school - after all that hard work/sacrifice he put into the acceptance, he wasn't sure about what came next or what he wanted out of life. Happiness and contentment doesn't wait at the gates of medical school. Your acceptance might give you some security about your career, but it only addresses one facet of your life. I told myself that I would keep a balanced lifestyle and made sure to be a happy person (I may have overcompensated see below :P)

Complacency: When you get to medical school, you get exposed to the rigorous work schedules of the clerks (3rd/4th year medical students), residents, and staff physicians.  I thought to myself "man, I better make the most of my pre-clerkship years before shit hits the fan." In fact, all the upper years tell you the same: "enjoy pre-clerkship while you can." This is true. Pre-clerkship is super fun with all the parties and your suddenly booming social life. Combine that with the fact that us non-trads have often sacrificed so much to get here - it can become very easy to tip the balance. Be on the lookout if you ever catch yourself steering towards this end. ESPECIALLY for you current pre-clerks (incoming 1st years or 2nd years) who will have online lectures. What works for me: actively attending/listening to lectures. The process of just being present is a huge step into keeping you engaged and maintaining your academic life.

TL;DR: be kind to yourself throughout the process of getting into medical school – learn from your mistakes, don’t feel guilty about them. Try to learn what you want out of life so that medical school doesn't become your end goal and you are not left with a feeling of purposelessness once you're in. Once you get in, there will be a sense of complacency. Figure out a way to counter this - I always felt that going to lectures kept me engaged (medicine is inherently interesting to most of us, so this should take care of itself). And finally, prioritize your own healthiness/happiness as this will trickle down to your patients and those in your sphere of life. Don't ever feel guilty about not participating in a myriad of extracurricular if it comes at the expensive of your own healthiness/happiness.

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  • 1 year later...

Its funny that this will be my 8-year update to this post. When I was feeling so lost all those years ago, I couldn't have possibly pictured myself being in this position as a doctor/PGY-1. I've been quite reflective recently and figured I'd post an update on my day off :P

That being said, I wanted to add that although I find myself positioned to be successful in my professional career, many of the earlier life events/personal issues that lead to a derailment of my undergraduate grades persist or have gotten even worse (i.e.., addiction and health issues with family/friends). I am personally doing well: I have a great partner, lots of cuddles from my pets, lots of social support. Additionally I have been fortunate enough to have developed a great deal of resilience. However, it is objectively more difficult to manage all these different facets of your life as you get into residency/staff physician life and take on more responsibility.

Ultimately, I think many of us in the Non-Traditional forum have faced challenges that brought us to medicine at a later time in our lives. I am confident many of you have/are going through similar struggles. I'll sound like a broken record saying this, but while you guys pursue medicine, make sure you are taking care of yourselves. Do not put your life on hold thinking that getting into medicine will magically make things better. You will certainly enjoy a sense or accomplishment and more financial/career security if you get in, but medicine does not ameliorate personal problems. Continue to work on your personal life, work on your happiness, seek therapy to develop tools for resiliency or navigate ongoing issues, and do not neglect your loved ones in the process.

Life passes by all too quickly. At the end of the day, despite how noble your intentions may be, medicine is still a job. And your ability to care for yourself will really affect your job performance. Will you truly be able to devote the emotional energy to your patients if you feel that you are barely staying afloat in your personal life? I personally believe the answer is a resounding no. 

So remember guys - work on yourselves, be happy, and I hope you have an amazing rest of the summer! 

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20 hours ago, RichardDegrasseSagan said:

Ultimately, I think many of us in the Non-Traditional forum have faced challenges that brought us to medicine at a later time in our lives. I am confident many of you have/are going through similar struggles. I'll sound like a broken record saying this, but while you guys pursue medicine, make sure you are taking care of yourselves. Do not put your life on hold thinking that getting into medicine will magically make things better. You will certainly enjoy a sense or accomplishment and more financial/career security if you get in, but medicine does not ameliorate personal problems. Continue to work on your personal life, work on your happiness, seek therapy to develop tools for resiliency or navigate ongoing issues, and do not neglect your loved ones in the process.

Life passes by all too quickly. At the end of the day, despite how noble your intentions may be, medicine is still a job. And your ability to care for yourself will really affect your job performance. Will you truly be able to devote the emotional energy to your patients if you feel that you are barely staying afloat in your personal life? I personally believe the answer is a resounding no. 

So remember guys - work on yourselves, be happy, and I hope you have an amazing rest of the summer! 

Great advice.  It's important to see medicine as only one facet of your life.  

Time is incredibly valuable and once it's gone can never be recovered.

If anything, medicine can make things harder in terms of work/life balance depending on where you're coming from.  

Even though I ended up in a residency program/location which wasn't something that I had strongly considered, by focusing on the positives and making the best of where I am, I'm much happier.  

I was in an unusual med school situation in a French-speaking program which I found very difficult/limiting and also took much longer than I wanted so removing that stress was helpful.

 But, I'm also very conscience of the tradeoff I made in terms of time for medicine- it's odd that being in the most preferred specialty/location really doesn't seem that important compared to bigger life issues - at a certain level, externalities fall way.  Maybe for some it's the icing on the cake of a "perfect" life.. but that hasn't been my experience.   

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On 8/25/2021 at 2:00 PM, RichardDegrasseSagan said:

Its funny that this will be my 8-year update to this post. When I was feeling so lost all those years ago, I couldn't have possibly pictured myself being in this position as a doctor/PGY-1. I've been quite reflective recently and figured I'd post an update on my day off :P

That being said, I wanted to add that although I find myself positioned to be successful in my professional career, many of the earlier life events/personal issues that lead to a derailment of my undergraduate grades persist or have gotten even worse (i.e.., addiction and health issues with family/friends). I am personally doing well: I have a great partner, lots of cuddles from my pets, lots of social support. Additionally I have been fortunate enough to have developed a great deal of resilience. However, it is objectively more difficult to manage all these different facets of your life as you get into residency/staff physician life and take on more responsibility.

Ultimately, I think many of us in the Non-Traditional forum have faced challenges that brought us to medicine at a later time in our lives. I am confident many of you have/are going through similar struggles. I'll sound like a broken record saying this, but while you guys pursue medicine, make sure you are taking care of yourselves. Do not put your life on hold thinking that getting into medicine will magically make things better. You will certainly enjoy a sense or accomplishment and more financial/career security if you get in, but medicine does not ameliorate personal problems. Continue to work on your personal life, work on your happiness, seek therapy to develop tools for resiliency or navigate ongoing issues, and do not neglect your loved ones in the process.

Life passes by all too quickly. At the end of the day, despite how noble your intentions may be, medicine is still a job. And your ability to care for yourself will really affect your job performance. Will you truly be able to devote the emotional energy to your patients if you feel that you are barely staying afloat in your personal life? I personally believe the answer is a resounding no. 

So remember guys - work on yourselves, be happy, and I hope you have an amazing rest of the summer! 

ha thanks for following up! 

This kinds of stories are important reminders to how getting into medicine (or not getting in) is just another step on a longer journey. 

Edited by rmorelan
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  • 1 year later...

It's been almost exactly 10 years since I made this post. I am wrapping up residency right now and wow time has flown by. Unfortunately, it's been an extremely challenging final year of residency. My brother died two months ago after a long battle with addiction. He leaves behind his young children. He was my big brother and mentor. Through action, he allowed me to see that high academic achievements were possible, despite our disadvantaged/low SES background. 

 

Being a physician in a way in which I positively impact patients/their families has been such a blessing and protective factor for me. There are many areas of the profession that breed cynicism, but there are also so many areas through which you can have an incredible impact on patients/their families. Often, in the name of marginal efficiency (and to the detriment of their own mental health), many physicians may not take that extra couple of minutes to have as positive an interaction with patients as otherwise would be possible. I find that these are often the physicians who are burnt out. There is certainly plenty in medicine right now that is quite challenging, but I also think many of us rob ourselves the opportunity to make positive impacts on others and ourselves. We learn at academic centers that stress/reward efficiency and sometimes dehumanization of someone into just a pathology

All that to say - I see such refreshing and passionate energy in the non-trad forum. As someone who has been through the process - it has NOT made me cynical. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Continue to be the person you are through the incredible life experiences that brought you here and don't compromise that for anything. 

We're non-trads for a reason: we have had roads that traditional candidates may not have had to take. You're not alone in being on those challenging roads. You're not a failure because life threw challenges at you. Use those challenges to strengthen your character and use all the motivation you have to push through hurdles. We need you in the field. Inject the compassion you carry into your lives, your volunteer commitments, and when you get there, your clinical interactions. 

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