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cleanup

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cleanup last won the day on August 28

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  1. To be frank man, if that's the attitude you approach something you wanted advice or help on, I don't think it's any surprise you haven't gotten laid much.
  2. You didn't read my post very well, did you? My entire point is that it won't fuck your marriage over badly unless you let it. It's all in your head. You're imagining an entirely alternate reality universe that doesn't even exist. One in which you don't get married and have this hypothetical life where you're sleeping with 2 new women a week. Ask yourself if this is rational. The only thing in your system is a misguided opinion that you should have done something else; you're projecting your current inability to enjoy your process & journey rather than focusing on some imagined result as a form of regret. But the definition of regret is literally the difference between your current situation and a completely imaginary scenario. Amor fati. Maybe you can get 'this shit out of your system' by splitting up with your fiance and trying to go become a playboy. Maybe. But you lose your marriage in the process. Or, more likely, you can meditate on how to be happy & grateful for what you have, and how to experience joy in the love you can develop for YOUR life, rather than some make-believe fairytale you're telling yourself. Stop wishing for things to be different. Let things be and make the best of what they are. If somehow that is truly impossible, then man up and end your relationship, but do not have any regret about it; you have to own your decision and take profound, relentless responsibility for it and all of the ensuing consequences. Moaning about it on an anonymous Internet forum doesn't, unfortunately, count.
  3. I'm glad I got a lot of debauchery in within my 20s (I've slowed down significantly now as I'm entering my 30s). A high 'body count' to use your language. But only because it gave me perspective on why I didn't need it, not because it gave me fulfillment. But you don't need to do it in order to realize that it's all externalized pleasure that is about as transient and limited as it gets in terms of its ability to fulfill you and make you happy. It's in the same category as money, 'success,' material things. It gave me very short, tiny ego boosts that were not sustainable. Even if you're the guy who in your 40s and 50s can attract women half your age (and I have every intention of having that capability), the key is in courting temptation but not succumbing to it. Really reflect on why you think you want/need to sleep with more women; it really does get old after a while and you realize that it can become an empty quest that brings you, ultimately, nothing. It got to the point that immediately after sleeping with someone new I would feel an existential dread and an extreme need to just be alone. I honestly think that many of my relationships that actually mattered (romantic, platonic or otherwise) suffered as a result of my focus on womanizing.
  4. The OP (Compton) has requested that I close the thread as he believes it has derailed from its original intention. Have a good night everyone and fingers crossed people have come away from the posts with something new learned or realized. Cheers.
  5. I think you’ve presumed incorrectly about me. I vote liberal, but like you I have some reservations about it. Don’t mistake my attempt to be critical of everyone or my lack of expressing a strong stance in this topic as an opportunity to sell me on sarcastic doctrine. There’s no need to put words in anyone’s mouth or to make assumptions. That is precisely the type of attitude that has gotten people riled up in this thread so far. i have been very close to closing this thread a few times as a result of those types of missteps.
  6. I identify as socially liberal and financially conservative as well, and on the compass I was literally right in the centre. The tiniest bit left leaning. I am absolutely a centrist, but that also means that no party really speaks to me greatly.
  7. Depends on the school. Google is your friend. Probably best to do some research on your own.
  8. Everyone tone down the rhetoric please. There are ways to have constructive discussion, and there are ways to stoke polarity and frustration. Take your pick. Cheers.
  9. I think the fact that you know how to defuse animosity with humour and tact means more than your CARs section score, at least to me!
  10. a) Don't sell stuff on this forum. Go here if you want to sell something like a book, DAT soaps, whatever. b) Don't advertise services such as coaching, interview prep, DAT prep, etc. If you're ever caught soliciting, you gone. c) Even if you are selling something, don't sell something you're not allowed to sell that violates any terms & conditions of products or services. d) This post is very visible. We will happily ban anyone who violates these rules and make sure you don't do it again even under any alt accounts or through PMs. e) Don't offer payment for anything over PM or this service. Try to avoid giving personal contact info. You may notice in your web browser your connection to this website is often "Not Secure," meaning that any personal information sent is visible to attackers/savvy people. So don't be dumb. Thanks!
  11. I couldn't care less about being novel or insightful. Would you like to discuss this at an objective level or just apply labels to things and then tell me I'm wrong?
  12. I don't disagree with you. But I do think in your head you've fallen prey to the stereotype of a 'conservative' as being A, B, C, X, Y, Z. This is no different than someone assuming a 'liberal' is something they've been conditioned to believe they are, or are not. It's pigeonholing secondary to labelling, and a prime example of the partisanship and polarity that exists these days as a result of people only entertaining discussion that furthers or supports their own views, falling prey to media that thrives on anger, fear, and animosity, and an inability to be radically open-minded and begin with the assumption of "I could afford to be more critical of myself and cautious with my beliefs." I am not saying that you're wrong, but I am saying that the manner in which you're framing your opinion of others and the world as a whole is counter-productive. There is still room for agreeableness, even in the face of people or ideas that seem to go against your perspectives and ideology. Also I'll argue that there are plenty of people who label themselves as progressive liberals who still harbour racist, sexist or possibly even supremacist views at times. I think a lot of this comes from people from minority groups who, you may argue partially justifiably, feel indignation at the way society is groomed by what is perceived as a white, male, authoritarian ideology. I don't think they're wrong to be upset, but I do think there are some folks who generalize their anger toward men in general, white people in general, people in authority in general, conservatism in general, sometimes to the point of outright hatred, bigotry and extreme narrow-mindedness, all things that we presumably set out to quash in the first place. I'm a minority myself, and grew up in a small town in northern Ontario, and growing up I remember encountering bouts of prejudice, racism, even at a young age. Slurs, physical fights, and sometimes a general tension or unease that, admittedly, I probably would have noticed even more now as an adult than I did as a kid. That said, I don't let these experiences colour my entire perception; I know that people, as a whole, are victims of their upbringings, environments, friends & family. I don't inherently assume someone is a bad person simply because they said or did something I found reprehensible sometime. I myself have done reprehensible things I regret deeply, and hurt people in turn; I have to extend the same grace and room for growth to others as I do myself. There are extremes on both ends. I think the real enemy here isn't necessarily one end of the spectrum or the other, but rather the tips of society; we all need to meet in the middle somewhere.
  13. It's not, really. It's just a sense of self-awareness and open-mindedness. To me, those are "Step 1" to "how to be a good person" and "how to improve your life in the direction you want to." Personally I don't see any reason in discussion if one or both parties are completely surefooted in their views and their only goal is to convince or persuade the other party that they, in fact, are wrong, and the only refuge lies in a concession. What a pointless, directionless, destructive process that is. If things were so black and white, they wouldn't be so difficult, now would they? Perform a thought experiment... consider, which is more likely: that this person you're talking to is so damn stupid that they couldn't possibly be more wrong and you're so incredibly right that your opinions are not only stalwart, unshakable and reliable but also impervious to gaps in logic and reasoning... or that everyone, yourself and this other person included, are fallible, stubborn, often misguided and ill-informed, and usually fail to understand that the magnitude of what they don't know far outstrips what they do know? We really do over-estimate ourselves in how apparently intelligent and above-average we are, as well as how misinformed and sub-human others are. Where this social fallacy came from, I have no idea, but I think if we all tried to undo some of it, the world would be a better place, regardless of which direction it goes.
  14. I have an itchy trigger finger in this topic. Jk let's please not talk about guns too. But yeah, let's keep it civil, folks. I think a zoomed-out perspective in which we all recognize that we all have our own biases and blind spots with respect to politics is healthy. Let's all practice radical open-mindedness with each other's opinions. Entertain the idea that you may not have all the information, and that you are the product of your environment as well as the people you spend time with and speak to. We all live in echo chambers. Let's be mindful of the fact that we can all learn more from each other; there are no fences here.
  15. It did not come off as condescending. It did however, come off as a bit narrow minded. We should do our best to not project our realities onto others as expectations. That applies to anything, alcohol or otherwise. A worthy truism of life is understanding that our opinions, beliefs and principles are defined by a multitude of seemingly transparent factors to us, including our upbringing, culture, religion, family & friend circles, education level & type, regionality, etc., and we have to understand that the ways in which we see ourselves and other people are inevitably coloured (read: biased) by these things. The fallibility of our opinions in the eyes of others is something we have to accept, in a worthy attempt to be humble, to be gracious, and to be accepting of others. There is no one way to live life, and there are no hard lines drawn in the sand. You aren't saving anyone by giving them your opinion. Things are not as black and white as we may incorrectly, and unfortunately, assume.
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