I think the negative thinking definitely comes from some self-esteem issues in your life. I can absolutely relate, I have similar struggles of my own. If it's any consolation, I can definitely tell you from my own experience that with time and some practical help, it definitely gets better! As for some advice I have to offer, first I want to say that you should definitely work on tackling that negative thinking when it arises. A therapist told me that words are powerful, and she is totally right. So watch what you think and say to yourself, and fight back when you can. Don't let your brain convince you of things that simply aren't true. This comes with practice though, it won't happen overnight! But it's definitely an important thing to work on. Second, if it would be possible for you to get some professional help and see a therapist, I would highly recommend it. I think having a professional work with you on your self-esteem issues would be very beneficial, and will give you a much-needed outside perspective on things. Finally, just remember to focus on your good aspects and love yourself for who you are! You don't need to be the center of attention, or the most popular, or the funniest person in the room, or whatever. If that's not who you are, then don't worry about it! You can't make yourself into someone you're not, so don't try to and don't feel like you need to. I don't know you, but I can promise you that there are so many wonderful things about you! So take the time to reflect, figure out who you are as a person, and embrace those things that make you who you are. Everybody has different gifts, and they come in so many different forms! The world needs you exactly as you are, so don't let anybody, even yourself, convince you that who you are isn't enough.