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confusedMedKid

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  1. Hey! Thanks for your reply. I'm interested in a variety including endocrinology, hematology, oncology, palliative care. I like being able to spend a longer time with people and deal with more emotional situations including cancer. I like being able to be there and build a solid relationship while we work through the illness management but being able to switch to not seeing them as often once it is well managed. I don't really want to see someone for every single lump or bump that they might see in family medicine. The common components that I've enjoyed are longer consults with opportunity to get a feel for who the person is, strong integration of goals of care into the plan of action, time-limited relationship (i.e. I am happy to see someone during their hospital admission and then follow once annually for a specific issue until resolved) and honestly, being able to hand off parts of care that I'm not interested in. I have little interest in dermatology, for example, so I love that I would not be expected to decipher rashes. I do also enjoy doing some procedures, but I'm not too keenly interested in that and I wouldn't necessarily want to do them in emergencies so not too interested in ICU/Critical Care. At the same time, I want to do rather than think too long. I sometimes hate having the discussions of the unnecessarily long differentials when the diagnosis is something quite straightforward: If it's genuinely possible for it to be disease X, mention it, if not, we don't need to rattle off every single possible disease that can cause anything tangentially related but has no other real bearing to the case... I'm doing both but with the limited number of electives, I'm getting stuck on how to set them up! I'm scared that I will make myself "uncompetitive" for medicine by having a limited number of electives and taking an even split to family. But I also don't want to end up not interviewing for family because I only did 1 elective in it. That's where I'm feeling "stuck".
  2. Hello, I'm currently feeling uncertain about what to do with my future. I have my electives primarily booked in internal medicine with a few in family medicine as that is what I found I was having to back up with. However, in the midst of everything, I find myself thinking back to being unhappy in MTU. I specifically want to do a subspecialty (not too competitive, but just want to say that MTU is not my ultimate end goal). I can't tell anymore if it would be worth it. I felt so beat down with the feedback from there - my personality just seems not good enough and yet no other rotation has had an issue with it. I also felt so stupid which I know everyone says is normal but even comparing myself to my peers, I felt like my knowledge was so far below baseline. I get no joy out of discussing a 15-disease long differential for something that's obviously a pneumonia for the "academics" of it. Some small parts of medicine bring me joy but they're mainly related to my subspecialty of interest as well as a few others that spark my interest a touch more. I attend teaching sessions and resent it whereas some of my peers seem to thrive and enjoy it. On the other hand, family doesn't seme too attractive right now either. I initially leaned towards internal of the two because I had very little interest in dermatology or MSK issues which would make up the bulk of the complains for an FM. I'm also more attracted to the acute presentation and more occasional follow-up than the active chronic disease management model. I just don't know where that leaves me and what to do, with many electives booked in the subspecialties of internal medicine. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and if I'm just having some mid-med-life crisis or if I'm genuinely realizing something about my interests. Any advice?
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