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Dating another Med student in your school

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41 minutes ago, IMislove said:

People in my class do it, every year has a few couples. Pros being you can study together and understand busy schedules, cons being awkwardness after break up and changes in friends. 

What if I am in the class above her? The chance in friends issue probs won’t be there

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49 minutes ago, carbook said:

What if I am in the class above her? The chance in friends issue probs won’t be there

Bigger issue is the couples match. It has ruined lives. Be careful. 
 

also you are probably young at this stage and busy. Not the ideal time to start a long term relationship. Keep it casual until residency 

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On 12/21/2019 at 10:45 AM, Raptors905 said:

Bigger issue is the couples match. It has ruined lives. Be careful. 
 

also you are probably young at this stage and busy. Not the ideal time to start a long term relationship. Keep it casual until residency 

Can you elaborate on the ruined lives comment? Thanks!

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4 minutes ago, Ms4ever said:

Can you elaborate on the ruined lives comment? Thanks!

for starters what if in the end you both match to opposite sides of the country? - does happen if you decide to rank places individually after you pick all couple combinations. What if only one of you matches? - (imagine the pain of not matching AND basically breaking up on the same day - lots of fun, seen that) What if you chose not to do that and only go in ranking places where you will both match together and then neither of you match at all? What if you, them or both want a specialty - indeed worked for it for basically a decade or more - and that specialty isn't the sort of one that you can get into if you don't match in first round? Then you are left with some pretty nasty options - couple matching in round two is just that more horrible, couple's matching the following year is very bad in terms of outcome. Neither of you get to do what you really wanted now, and where will the blame for that end up? 

What if you do both couple match - but at a place you otherwise wouldn't have wanted to go or probably got into? You are now likely somewhere you don't want to be otherwise for 5 years. 

What if you were pressured into picking another specialty as a part of the match process to improve the odds of both of you matching (seen that too). What if you find out you really don't like the new specialty (seen that), or resent in the end having to make the change (seen that too). 

What if you did any of the above and the relationship ends at some point during the process. All that risk and anxiety now for not much.

and there is the usual you both want the same field, you both couples match and then you break up and have to work with each other for 2-5 years, including in many specialties where you have to work very closely together for exam prep or are competing with each other for fellowships/research access/chief positions..... 

Ha so much doom and gloom - I have seen all manner of result, many of which worked out fine (where a truly lasting relationship is forged by two people who have common understanding, and can really help each other along the way).  

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18 minutes ago, rmorelan said:

for starters what if in the end you both match to opposite sides of the country? - does happen if you decide to rank places individually after you pick all couple combinations. What if only one of you matches? - (imagine the pain of not matching AND basically breaking up on the same day - lots of fun, seen that) What if you chose not to do that and only go in ranking places where you will both match together and then neither of you match at all? What if you, them or both want a specialty - indeed worked for it for basically a decade or more - and that specialty isn't the sort of one that you can get into if you don't match in first round? Then you are left with some pretty nasty options - couple matching in round two is just that more horrible, couple's matching the following year is very bad in terms of outcome. Neither of you get to do what you really wanted now, and where will the blame for that end up? 

What if you do both couple match - but at a place you otherwise wouldn't have wanted to go or probably got into? You are now likely somewhere you don't want to be otherwise for 5 years. 

What if you were pressured into picking another specialty as a part of the match process to improve the odds of both of you matching (seen that too). What if you find out you really don't like the new specialty (seen that), or resent in the end having to make the change (seen that too). 

What if you did any of the above and the relationship ends at some point during the process. All that risk and anxiety now for not much.

and there is the usual you both want the same field, you both couples match and then you break up and have to work with each other for 2-5 years, including in many specialties where you have to work very closely together for exam prep or are competing with each other for fellowships/research access/chief positions..... 

Ha so much doom and gloom - I have seen all manner of result, many of which worked out fine (where a truly lasting relationship is forged by two people who have common understanding, and can really help each other along the way).  

I see, thanks! Ya my girlfriend and I decided not to couple match in the end as we couldn’t really agree on a ROL. Now that the deadline has passed, I find myself pondering that I’d have been happy with any of the excel sheet options we had. Also already googling about the transfer process. Hard to know if we did the right thing

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Just now, Ms4ever said:

I see, thanks! Ya my girlfriend and I decided not to couple match in the end as we couldn’t really agree on a ROL. Now that the deadline has passed, I find myself pondering that I’d have been happy with any of the excel sheet options we had. Also already googling about the transfer process. Hard to know if we did the right thing

ha always messy - to be fair all the above it wasn't the match the directly caused any of the issues. No matter how you design it you are going to have similar problems. Hopefully in the end things will work out! 

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