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hope this story serves as a lesson for some of the younger readers here. the take away lessons here are never let your judgment be clouded so easily and irresponsibly, and don't ever enter a relationship with a partner who isn't willing to understand the sacrifices that are involved with this career path. this sacrifice goes both ways and will only work if they're made by both parties. 

OP, you obviously learned your lesson the hard way. i cant imagine you repeating your past mistakes ever again through the rest of your training. consider yourself lucky that you got this second chance and consider it a blessing that you lost that woman; your efforts could have very well went to waste. 

wishing you all the best during your training moving forward

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4 hours ago, offmychestplease said:

Thank you. What makes it worse that she was my first GF and so like many guys, my judgement and feelings were so out of whack. I need to be grateful that I'm in now and I learned this lesson the VERY hard way as you said..

I think whats important to realize here, that not a lot of applicants truly understand when they start applying, is that it takes more than GPA, MCAT, and CASPER to make you a successful medical student and doctor. Just because those are the current entry requirements, they are far from perfect in selecting candidates who will be successful. Applicants need to also be ready from a maturity and personal experience perspective as well. Training for this profession is unlike any other in that it will test your mental, emotional and psychological strength. Unfortunately, I know many medical students who were not mature enough or truly ready for this when they started.

You sabotaging your own applications and going through this relationship is an important life lesson that I would argue was more important prep for medical school than your grades. You know now how to process emotional connection and relationships in a healthy way and hopefully be more prepared when your next relationship comes at a time in your life when the stress is 100x what it was as a pre-med. Those years off were necessary for you to be ready for med school and will ultimately make you more successful. Looking back at my own experience. When i was rejected through my first two cycles, I was nowhere near ready to start this journey. I needed those extra few years to mature, learn how to process failure, and mature in a way that ultimately led me to be successful through med school, CaRMS, and now residency.

I wish more people would fail along their journey, not because I don't want them to succeed, but because a lot of successful candidates need to mature and learn a bit about life, struggles, and be less naive before entering medical school as a young 2nd/3rd year undergrad. Don't stress your path. It will make you a better person and doctor in the long run.

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It is absolutely essential to have a supportive, understanding s.o. as opposed to somebody who is needy of you and your time and lacks the sensitivity and understanding required! Before medicine, for several years, I was dating a young man who was entirely supportive and put my ambitions ahead of our relationship. For example, we never texted, emailed, spoke during the week when a semester was in session and limited our time together to a few hours on a Saturday evening, which sometimes involved studying. I then went to medical school in another city. Then, there was 5 years of residency in the same city. He is not competitive, not a physician. I will earn much more than him. Our relationship is solid. He has been my rock throughout this journey. Covid-19 has been another test, staying away from him for months as I deal with Covid patients daily. It is important that your s.o. be in alignment with your goals and, if not, regardless of the attraction, he/she will derail your goals and will prevent you from achieving a successful outcome.

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