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PastaInhaler

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Wow you've got a lot of responses!

 

So I did my diagnostic this weekend from AAMC (#10) and I got my writing sample score back. Personally, I'm super skeptical at the score I received because I thought my samples were poorly written with bad organization. What do you think?

 

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Laws cannot change social values

 

Laws, being official rules created by a governing body, are more guidelines to moral and ethical behaviour than they are for social values. Social values can be argued to be more a function of a person's environment and upbringing. In this way, a much better catalyst to changing social values is a person's surrounding environment, the people they interact with and the experiences they have. Domestic abuse is found to be more prevalent in couples whose parents adhered to traditional genered roles and where domestic violence was observed. Although it is commonly known that it is illegal to abuse your partner, if it was even a small part of the cultural upbringing or surrounding for a person, they may be more inclined to partake in such activities. More commonly, people who more often associate themselves with other who use illegal drugs may think it is socially acceptable to use such drugs, regardless of the fact that they are illegal. Highschool students who may be exposed to this kind of behaviour on a regular basis are likely to partake in this behaviour as well, knowing full well that it is illegal. If laws had the power to change social values, then drug addictions would not be as prevalent as they are. As mentioned, laws are simply rules created by governing bodies pertaining to correct behaviours and deterrance rather than centered on the change of social values.

 

Historically speaking, however, there have been countless accounts of changes in laws leading to changes in social values. Centuries ago, monarch rule was the common leadership style in European countries. The social consensus was that the monarch or royal family was all-powerful and had the exclusive right to anything they wished. This social value was accepted by many, not only in the European countries, but also in Mayan communities where the clan leader was given whatever he wished for, even if it meant for a human sacrifice. Laws were centered around the monarchs and leaders and they were the creators and executers of these laws. In contrast, modern law provides citizens with rights and freedoms that they are entitled to. The Canadian Charter, for example, outlines that Canadians have a right to free speech and freedom of expression among many things. If something is believed to be incorrect or unfair, it can be protested. The final point is that every citizen in the modern world values these rights, and regards them as a normal social value. It would be blasphemous to think of King Henry VII's wives asking for a divorce, whereas divorce is a common discourse now. The change in laws from monarchies to democracies have allowed for these changes in social values.

 

It is evident that laws can change social values, but there are always exceptions. If a law is changed from something relatively conservative to something very radical, it would not be effective in changing social values. Canada, during World War I instilled Prohibtion and Conscription, banning alcoholic beverages and forcing young men to join the army. Both practices did not lead to a change in values because Prohibition was lifted and Conscription was stopped. The citizens did not agree to such radical ideas whereby one day they could be enjoying a beverage in the comfort of their home and the next they would be fighting in the treacherous trenches against their will. Such laws were abominated because they were unable to bring about this social change. The popular battle between Communism and Democracy is based on clear differences in laws and governing principles and yet citizens of both communist and democratic countries would agree to many social values pertaining to family life, friendship, conversational cues, et cetera. Ideally, although laws are meant to bring about eventual change in social values, they can only do so when there is a large enough supporting base in the populus for the new social value. Gay marriage is now legal and countries which were mostly homophobic are now becoming increasingly accepting. Such laws and changes in social values would not have occured if there was not a strong gay-straight alliance among the populus. Thus, laws have the power to be catalysts in social change or untouched reactants.

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Thanks :)

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Wow you've got a lot of responses!

 

So I did my diagnostic this weekend from AAMC (#10) and I got my writing sample score back.

 

Hey sorry quick question what do you mean you got your writing sample score marked on the practice AAMC tests? I wasn't aware you could do that!

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A person's first priority in life should be financial security.

 

Attaining financial security is certainly the main priority of billions of people across the world as they progress through their lives. A priority is something which takes importance over other things in one’s life. Financial security is the financial state of an individual in which they can live their life at a decent standard of living should a financial crisis occur later on in their life. Therefore, when one’s first priority in life is financial security, that individual’s main goal in life is to ensure that they can live their life at a decent standard of living should they face a financial crisis in the future. For instance, in India, where there is a large majority of Indians living in widespread poverty, with the social security systems in place unable to provide a decent standard of living for Indians living in poverty, the main goal of most Indians in life is to work hard to get a good education and excel in school, enter a rewarding profession such as engineering or medicine, and earn a decent wage, forgoing fun and entertainment at times in order to secure a stable financial future.

 

However, financial security is not the first priority in life for some people. For instance, in Canada, many Canadians’ main priority in life is not financial security but rather enjoying life itself and pursuing the things which truly interest them. The majority of Canadians are simply not concerned with entering professional careers such as medicine, and have other interests, such as art and music, a career in which does not ensure a prosperous financial future, since many aspiring musicians fail to reach their goal of becoming a successful and famous musician. This is due to the strong social security program in place in Canada, which allows Canadians receiving monetary aid from the program to live their lives at a decent standard of living.

 

Therefore, whether or not a person’s first priority in life should be financial security is highly circumstantial. If the country in which they live will provide them with financial aid allowing them to live at a decent standard of living during times of financial distress, such as in Canada, it should not be expected that a person’s first priority in life who lives in that country, should not be financial security. However, if the country in which an individual lives is unable to provide them with sufficient financial aid to allow them to live at a decent standard of living, such as in India, it should be expected that the first priority of individuals residing within that nation should be to attain financial security.

 

Thanks for doing this!

 

Some good points, and you've demonstrated understanding of the requirements for the three tasks. The treatment of the writing assignment is coherent, with some focus. Major ideas are adequately developed.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOP/QRST

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Displaying intelligence can sometimes be a politician's downfall.

 

Displaying intelligence beyond that which the citizen expects from a political may lead the politician’s downfall. Intelligence is the ability to form thoughts which deviate from the conventional wisdom of a population. Downfall can be thought of as a politician losing his political position by some means. Therefore, the displaying of thoughts which deviate from the conventional wisdom of a population can sometimes lead to the politician losing their political position. For example, the previous leader of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf, had once said that the Islamic world is currently living in the dark ages, and that they are the most backward in the entire human race. He went on to say that Islamic nations should begin to improve the education provided in their countries, and focus more on science, technology, and mathematics being taught in classrooms. This statement was received with widespread disagreement and anger throughout the Islamic world, especially in Pakistan, as Musharraf was seen to be insulting his own citizens. As a result, Musharraf’s approval ratings went down significantly, and ultimately resulted in him losing his position in office. This examples illustrates that sometimes, when a public official such as Musharraf displays intelligence, such as when he said that Islamic nations should improve the education within their countries, the politician may be causing their own downfall.

 

However, not all politicians are met with political downfall when they display intelligence. For example, Dubai’s ruler Sheikh Al Maktoum, has largely deviated from the conservative and anti-Western ethos of Arab nations, by severely Westernizing his city. This has included the introduction of five-star hotels, bars, nightclubs, etc. in Dubai. However, Sheikh Al-Maktoum continues to hold his political position to this day, largely because his followers approve of this deviation from the Arab norm.

 

Therefore, whether the displaying of intelligence by a politician leads to the politician’s downfall is highly circumstantial. If the politician’s intelligent thoughts go against those of his citizens, such as in the case of Musharraf, the politician will very likely lose their political position. However, if the citizens approve of the intelligent thoughts of the politician, as was in the case of Sheikh Al Maktoum, the politician may very well continue to hold onto their political position. In conclusion, whether displaying intelligence by a politician leads to the politician’s downfall depends on whether the citizens approve of the thoughts of the politician. If the citizens approve, the politician will very likely continue to hold their position. If the citizens disapprove, it is very likely that the politician will lose their political position.

 

Thanks!

 

You're welcome, thanks for contributing.

 

The essay shows clarity of thought, but could use more complexity. As well, task#2 may have been addressed, but was not adequately developed. You draw proper conclusions, however a different grader may take issue with your definition of intelligence. Generally, intelligence is "smartness." How smart is someone? Oftentimes, smartness is related, or even associated with wiseness, not in all cases, but there is a relationship. Doing something unwise is often doing something unintelligent. And within the political sphere, going against the conventional wisdom of a population is someone unintelligent for a politician. It seems that you are equating intelligence with rebellion. Rebellion isn't always intelligent, however, definitions should hold true in as many circumstances as possible.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOPQRST

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I'm back again. Thanks in advance.

 

In a democracy, the successful politician resembles the ordinary citizen.

 

In a democracy, politicians are voted into office by the society that they will govern. The success of a politician is measured by the amount of votes they obtain and if they win the election. Politicians who relate well to the people of society are generally successful. That is to say, a politician who resembles the ordinary citizen is more likely to win an election then someone who is very different than the society. An ordinary citizen can be defined as an individual who represents the majority of their own society. For example, an ordinary individual at a university is a student in their early twenties, even though there are situations where people fall out of this range.

 

An example of this is the 2011 Wilfrid Laurier University Students' Union (WLUSU) presidential election. Among the four candidates, two stood out as front runners for different reasons. Matt Park was the most qualified student as he had the most background in university policy. However, Park was older then most students. Nick Gibson, on the other hand, had relatively little experience in terms of policy, but he was heavily involved and very popular among the student body. In the end Nick Gibson was successful over Matt Park. In this situation, the person who best resembled the mass population was the successful person.

 

However, popularity does not always equal success in politics. In the recent Canadian election, the leader of the Bloq Quebecois party lost his seat in parliament. The Bloq Quebecois have had a history of winning the majority of seats in Quebec solely because they had Quebec priorities in mind. The downfall of the Bloq Quebecois was that they depended on the people of Quebec voting for the party who was most relatable. The New Democratic Party were able to promote themselves as leaders of Canada, and clearly demonstrated that their party would do a better job then the Bloq Quebecois. In the end, the more qualified of the two parties was successful. Bloq Quebecois may have resembled the citizens of Quebec better, but they did not show that they could do a better job in power than the NDP.

 

The importance of the roles in the two examples differs greatly. The WLUSU president governs over one university of fifteen thousand people while the Prime Minister governs over three million people. When voters decide who they will vote for, they take into account the amount of power the position holds. As the power of a position increases, the voter's priorities shift from the candidate that most resembles the ordinary citizen to the candidate who is most qualified.

 

It was good that you defined terms initially. However, the example in task#1 does not fit with your definition of an ordinary citizen. In fact, Nick Gibson seems to be not ordinary, or rather you have not sufficiently shown that Nick Gibson is ordinary. Nick Gibson is heavily involved, and popular among the student body, can the same be said about every person, or at least the majority of the student body? You bring up a point about age being the norm, then the idea is abandoned in the Nick Gibson example. You should refer back to it, as that was a stronger line of reasoning. Task#2 was adequately addressed, as was task#3, yet they could have benefited from more depth.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOPRST

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To be effective, government officials must have completely crime-free pasts. Write a unified essay in which you accomplish the following tasks. Explain what you think the aboce statement means. Describe a specific situation in which a government official who once committed a crime could still perform effectively. Discuss what you believe determines when a criminal past would not interfere with a government official’s effectiveness.

 

Government officials are responsible not only for enforcing the law, it is also essential that they lead by example and abide strictly to the rules they expect their people to follow. It would not be effective if the politicians used their status to take advantage of the legal system and be the exception to their implemented rules. If government officials had pasts full of violent crimes, theft, and fraud, it would be a blatant indication of their inability to distinguish what is right and wrong. Former mayor of Ottawa, Larry O’Brien, faced allegations of paying off competition to guarantee his candidacy. Following his trial, he is no longer considered a political player due to his dishonest and criminal background. When past crimes are translated to the political stage, the potential for repercussions is enormous.

 

Although a crime-free past is preferred for our government officials, it is important to consider the degree of the crime committed and the definition of a true crime. The minor mistakes committed by a young, rebellious teenager is not completely indicative of a matured, adults’ stance in the political world. President Barack Obama admitted to smoking marijuana recreationally as a teenager, which of course he acknowledges as illegal. Nevertheless, he has had several successes during his current presidency by killing Osama Bin Laden and attempting to implement a new health care plan. It is unfair to expect anyone to live their lives devoid of trouble, especially if their mistakes are insignificant and would not influence how they would perform in the office.

 

Government officials impose laws to guarantee a safer place for their citizens, and they should be the main upholders of them. However, though ideal, a crime-free past cannot be a standard for which we expect from politicians because mistakes can be made and second chances should be given. It is important to acknowledge the extent of the crime when determining if the government officials would be most effective if their pasts were crime free. Unthinkably violent crimes are not tolerated in this regards; hence, is it important that politicians are not guilty of crimes of the highest degree. Minor crimes should not be a label for an ineffective official. It is up to the electing citizens to ultimately determine if the crimes committed by government officials are representative of an unfit leader, or simply a misguided young person.

 

Your examples serve to illustrate your points, and there is an adequate development of ideas. You also demonstrate an adequate control of language.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOPQRST

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In politics, one's friends and one's enemies are often the same.

 

Bipartisanship has been a key issue in the 2008 U.S. presidential elections, as well as Barack Obama’s political policies. Bipartisanship is the act of reaching out to opposition political parties and political rivals, which are essentially enemies in the political arena, in an effort to collaborate and work together for the greater good of the nation. A friend in a political sense is defined as an individual or political entity with whom one works to achieve political ends. An enemy is defined as an opposition party and all its constituents. Within a democratic framework, in politics, individuals and parties must often work together with their opposition, to ensure fair representation of different points of view, in order to arrive at a generally accepted outcome. For example, the current government in Canada is a minority or coalition government, in which no political party holds a majority of the seats. Therefore, in order for a party to reach at least some of their political ends, they must work with their political rivals, proving appropriate concessions at certain times.

 

However, there are times in the course of politics wherein political parties need not work with their political enemies in order to achieve their goals. The Canadian government from 2001 to 2004 was a majority government in which the Liberals led by Prime Minister Jean Chretien, held a majority of the seats in parliament. During this time, the Liberals did not always provide concessions to opposition parties or take their points of view into consideration when voting on important political issues.

 

Therefore, the extension of the hand of friendship to political rivals is highly circumstantial. When a political entity attains majority power within a political system, such as the Liberal party in the Canadian government from 2001 to 2004, it makes its political decisions with little regard for the opinions of its political rivals. On the other hand, when a political entity does not have majority power, such as within the current Canadian government, it must rely on the support of its political rivals in order to achieve its political ends. This is similar to the prevailing theories by scholars on the formation of society wherein the individual has supressed his animalistic instincts, in order to ensure his peaceful coexistence and survival with the millions of people around him.

 

thanks!

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Education serves to restrict the human mind rather than to free it.

 

Education is the process through which an individual acquires knowledge and experiences growth in an intellectual capacity. Restriction of the human mind, as opposed to its freedom, can be considered as the inhibition of thoughts and opinions which the educator doesn’t want the individual to think and express. Therefore, in a case where education serves to restrict the mind, it limits the knowledge and spectrum of intellectual thought and opinion which a student is able to obtain. For instance, within the monarchy of Saudi Arabia, there is little focus on rational thought and a Western perspective within educational institutions. Subjects such as mathematics, science, and English are not given as much importance as the prevailing curriculum of Wahabist Islam. Wahabism is a sect of Islam with an extremely strict interpretation of religious text, and the principle of loyalty to the King of Saudi Arabia (also known as the “custodian of the Two Holy Mosques”). It is through this curriculum of Wahabism, which intertwines strong religious faith with the political ideology of loyalty to the ruling family, that the House of Saud (the ruling family in Saudi Arabia) prevents any free thought, maintains control over its citizens, and supresses any dissent.

 

However, education is not always utilized in such a politicized and restrictive manner. In Western civilization for example, educational institutions and the constitutions of Western nations themselves, place much emphasis on rational thinking, freedom of thought, and freedom of expression. Secondary level education for instance, exposes students to the logic-based subjects of mathematics and science, while post-secondary education allows even more autonomy in the subjects which students may choose to major in. This cultivates a population which is capable of free and innovative thinking.

 

Therefore, whether education is used as a tool to restrict the human mind, or to free it, is highly circumstantial. Education in Western democratic nations exposes individuals to a wide variety of perspectives, allowing them to think more creatively and freely, when compared to the education in monarchy-governed nations such as Saudi Arabia, where education is merely used as a tool by the ruling family to supress the type of free thinking it opposes. Essentially, the knowledge provided to individuals through education is highly dependent on the method through with the nation is governed.

 

thankss

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Thanks for offering this service.

 

 

Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumers' weaknesses.

 

The main goal of a successful business is to be able to make as much money as possible in order to maximize their profits. A successful business needs to be able to market their products in such a way to make an impression on the minds of their consumers. The term consumer is used to refer to the target audience of a particular business. It is the subset of the population who use certain products and services. For instance, hip hop music albums are primarily marketed to youth whereas, life insurance products are mainly targeted towards people in their 50’s or over. Once a consumer group for a given product or service has been established, a successful business needs to be able to create an image of the product or service being sold in such a way to persuade people that they really need this product. Thus, businesses need to attempt to make the product a weakness of the individual to ensure continued loyalty to the product and then take advantage of that. Other businesses that sell essential products and services such as food, clothing, shelter and health care related items may be able to take advantage of the fact that such products or services are necessary in order for people to survive and they will continue to purchase the product or service in any way possible.

 

This is quite evident in the businesses that produce and sell cigarettes. Once individuals get into a habit of smoking, cigarettes become an addiction and therefore, act as a weakness of the consumer. This ensures that the individual will continue to consume the product and purchase it on a regular basis, thereby increasing the sales and revenues of the companies. The dependency of the individual on nictotine found in cigarettes acts as a weakness of the consumer and businesses selling cigarettes succeed by taking advantage of this addiction and weakness. Moreover, a cigarette company can even increase the price of their product and not see an effect in terms of decreased sales. Consumers will still continue to purchase the product because they feel that they cannot live without it. In 2005, some cigarette companies came up with a line of cigarettes that were fruit flavoured and were packaged like a lip gloss or candy. This line of products was primarily being marketed towards teenagers in attempts to get individuals to become addicted to cigarettes at an early age to ensure continued sales of the product. Even though there were no particular ads on TV or other media sources portraying this product in a positive light due to legal restrictions, the packaging of the product was one of the major components of the marketing scheme that was used to make the product look more attractive to the teenage market. Therefore, cigarette companies survive primarily due to the addictive nature of their product and such businesses tend to succeed primarily by taking advantage of this weakening factor.

 

Alternatively, it is not always necessary for a business to take advantage of the consumers’ weaknesses in order to succeed. Some businesses are designed to help individuals while being able to make money in order to survive as a business. For example, we all tend to have a busy life with school, work, families and personal needs. Most people in urban cites are extremely busy and are always trying to find a balance between the various tasks that may need to be completed for given day. As a result, this tends to add stress and strain in our lives and some people may even be desperate to take some time to unwind and relax. There are many different ways in which individuals may make attempts to achieve a state of relaxation. MK Yoga Studio is one such example of a business that has been able to succeed over the years while making attempts to help individuals. It’s primary goal is to provide yoga and meditation classes to help people relax and get rid of the strain from their body and stress from their minds. Their program is designed to assist clients to reach a calm and peaceful state. Moreover, the instructors at this business also attempt to teach individuals the techniques that they can then use in their own homes to achieve the same state of mind. Thus, their service does not attempt to portray itself as a weakness of the consumer and such a business does not try to take any advantage of the consumer’s weakness.

 

Businesses heavily rely on marketing of their products to be able to create a brand for themselves. In order for a business to succeed, it may be necessary for the company to portray their product as being a weakness of the consumer and then take advantage of this weakness. However, other businesses may be able to succeed without taking advantage of the consumer’s weaknesses. Whether a business succeeds by taking advantage of the consumer’s weakness or not is highly dependent on the actual product or service being sold, the way it is marketed as well as the overall business model of the company.

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This was my first time doing WS on a diagnostic so it's really ****ty. I pulled examples out of my rear end....haha.. But I want to know how to improve :( Ahh. WS is so much harder than I expected! Anyways, here goes.

 

The public's right to information should override the government's need for security.

 

In a democratic society, a government operates on the basis of the desires of its citizens. As such, governments are consistently seeking the approval of citizens. Given that the government is chosen by a nation's citizens, they have the responsibility of being as transparent as possible in their actions. This is often done by making as much information accessible so that citizens can choose to be informed. However, a government also has the responsibility to defend the safety of its citizens through security. It is only when citizens are safe that they can exercise choice. A public's right to information entails the responsibility of a government in being as upfront and open about their actions, particularly actions that directly involve interests of citizens. The need for security by governments is in relation to the responsibility they have in protecting the safety of their citizens.

 

In 2008, rumors circulated that Prime Minister Stephen Harper's Conservative government in Canada had redirected tax dollars from public social service programs to invest in military fighter jets, when there was no threat of war or violent political instability in the country. Outrage from citizens led to the conduction of a financial audit and it was concluded that the Conservative government had redirected 2.1 billion dollars to the latter initiative. This circumstance directly involved the interests of citizens - their tax dollars - and their anger stemmed from the lack of transparency by governments in providing accurate information about where their money was going. The public's right to information was breached in a circumstance where they could have weighed in on the matter and there was no security threat in the nation.

 

On the other hand, there may be circumstances in which the government must primarily consider breaching the public's right to information in defense of their safety. This is applicable in politically unstable circumstances, where providing more accessible information to citizens is in fact contributing to chaos and instability and increasing the risk of citizen safety. For instance, the Japanese government was was not able to reveal the planned attack on Pearl Harbor at the slightest risk of triggering massive military action response from the US in retaliation. The government had to consider the overall safety of their citizens over their responsibility to keep the public aware.

 

Thus, the public's right to information should override the government's need for security when there is no war or political instability in the nation at hand, and if it directly involves personal interests of the citizens. Government security overrides the transparency of government actions when the safety of citizens are at threat in revealing information, especially when the country is politically unstable and at war.

 

Ideas are somewhat developed, with adequate control of language, but there are some problems with coherence and integration of ideas. Task#1 could use further development and taking a more definitive stance. The example provided for task#1 seems to counter the main idea in task#1.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOPRST

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Today's mobile society often loses in family and community ties what it gains in individual freedom.

 

Globalization is increasing the interconnectedness of our world through many different avenues, including communication, trade, and technology. A most notable symptom of globalization, however, is migration. A mobile society can be attributed to globalization as individuals choose to relocate to a substantially distant location from their origin. Family and community ties refers to the people and loved ones they leave behind in their original location, while individual freedom entails the personal satisfaction that results from the choice they made to migrate.

 

Zambia is an African country that is strongly defined by the emphasis placed on family and community bonds. Everyone greets each other when they pass by in the community, and to put it simply "everyone is in everyone else's business." On the level of a Zambian individual, this is a very important part of day-to-day life. However, when considering a Zambian individual who is a health professional, their desire to be more personally satisfied in their job may override the comfort they receive in this community atmosphere. It has been widely recognized in the literature that retention of health professionals in African countries is a problem as their working conditions, their benefits, and their salary is not at the same level as other developed nations or urban areas. A health professional in a developing country such as Zambia that chooses to migrate, either to an urban area or another country, may lose their family and community ties given that they cannot greet them in person on a daily basis. However, they gain the satsifaction that they feel they deserve in their health care profession role.

 

In similar circumstances, a health care professional from a developing country who migrates and moves to a farther distance does not have to completely sacrifice their family and community ties for a gain in their work satisfaction. As mentioned above, globalization is also increasing the advance of technology so that people can remain connected wherever they are in the world. Cell phone companies often advertise special promotional plans dedicated to "keeping in touch with loved ones" because they recognize the paramount impact of these technologies in today's mobile society, in the lives of those who are living apart from those they are closest with.

 

As such, when one (e.g. a health care professional) chooses to migrate for personal satisfaction, this may result in a loss of family and community ties as greeting, being together in person is a very significant part of day-to-day life in that society. However, the advance of technologies in midst of increased migration in the world does not mean that these family and community ties have to be completely sacrified for individual freedom.

 

An essay grader may take issue with your definition of individual freedom as being job satisfaction. So, you should further elaborate on this connection since the rest of your essay describes personal satisfaction. There was adequate control of language and few mechanical issues. Ideas are somewhat developed. The counter-example is a little loose, and needs to be more concrete. It seems too similar to task#1's example, but argued differently. Perhaps, you could clarify what is meant by a developing nation versus Zambia, and refer to the difference in communcations technology availability and useage.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

JKLMNOPRST

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Pastainhaler, this is a KILLER thread and I am pleased as punch it's here. Thanks to other posters as well. I've learned a lot and I'd to throw my hat into the ring too.

 

Opportunity favors those who work hard.

 

Each member of the North American workforce, weary and tired though he may be, likely still has the strength to hope that the dedication and effort he puts into his job will be rewarded. These rewards can be experiencing an increasing number of opportunities, which are encounters with situations that likely have favourable outcomes. While some people may say that luck is where opportunity meets preparation (in this situation "hard work"), those who believe in this statement likely do not believe in luck. Take, for example, a Burger King employee who dutifully comes to work on time, is pleasant with his coworkers and superiors, listens and applies feedback, and completes all assigned tasks well with minimal supervision. Entry level positions at Burger King pay very little and this worker likely has a very small income. Still, because of this hard work, the employee is rewarded with promotion at the Burger King corporation invests in him. At the end of his career, this employee has had several opportunities for professional development and his income has increased considerably. Is it luck that caused this? No. The employee deserved this recognition.

However, there are members of the workforce who subscribe more to luck than hard work. For example, the hardworking employee has the same chance of winning the lottery as his or her coworkers. If these coworkers were lazy, did not care about their peers and customers, and rarely completed tasks, what could possibly explain the windfall of lottery winnings? Certainly not hard work. In comparison to their hard working coworker, these employees do not deserve opportunities and yet both would have achieved financial success.

Perhaps in situations where there is a clearly established pattern of hard work that is recognized for a long period of time opportunity is indeed provided. In contrast, there are also times where unexplainable "out-of-the-blue" success is achieved irrespective of a record of effort and commitment. In conclusion, it is possible that success befalls both the hard working and the ill-prepared.

 

I did this one in 30 minutes so I just copied and pasted what I had so I'm aware of the grammar and spelling errors.

Thanks again. Happy Monday all :)

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Hey I'm back again. Thanks a lot for doing this, you are a huge help!

 

In advertising, truth is irrelevant.

 

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which truth in advertising might be relevant. Discuss what you think determines when truth in advertising is irrelevant and when it is relevant.

 

Advertising is an important part of any business in order to sell a product to consumers. Advertising can be seen in many forms of media, like the radio, television or magazines. In advertising, telling the truth to consumers may not matter. This is because the point of an advertisement is to attract the audience's attention to the product the company is selling. Advertisements are the first thing a consumer sees of a product. Once the consumer is interested, they can then inquire more into a product, where truth can then be found out.

 

For example, advertising campaigns in which the truth is not relevant can be seen in many high end fashion advertisements. Many high end fashion designers like Louis Vuitton, Channel, and Gucci create an image for their logo. The advertisements they use do not reflect the truth in their product but instead emulate a look the company is trying to sell. This envious look is not needed by the consumers and it is therefore not relevant if the advertisements contain truth. The advertisements may not even make it clear as to what the product is the company is selling. The importance of these advertisements is that the consumer feels the need to buy the product, based on the luxurious advertisements. The advertisements may show a beautiful man or woman in an exciting scene. The purpose of these ads is to create a sense of want for the image of the brand name. Truth is irrelevant in these ads because the purpose of the advertisements is to sell the image of the brand.

 

However, when the advertisement is advertising something people need, truth is relevant. For example, in today's society, computers are a necessity to many people's lives. It is important to know the quality of a computer before it is purchased. In this case, providing facts about the quality of a computer in an advertisement is very important. Consumers are interested in knowing facts about a computer, such as the amount of memory it can hold, what type of processor it has, and other various measurements. Without this essential information, advertisements for computers would be less appealing to consumers because the ads would not provide any relevant information to the consumers. In the case of selling computers, providing facts in advertising is very relevant and needed to make the product known to consumers.

 

In advertising, providing facts can both be necessary and unnecessary depending on the product being sold. When a company is selling a product that is not needed or is a luxury to a consumer, telling the truth in an advertisement is irrelevant. This can be seen in the case of highend fashion advertisements. When a company is selling a product that is a need to a consumer, providing facts in an advertisement is necessary. This can be seen in the case of computer advertisements. When consumers need a product, knowing the facts about that product in an advertisement is important because the best product is wanted. Having the facts presented in an advertisement allows the consumer to make an educated decision on the product. There is more thought put into the item being purchased because it is needed. When an item is a luxury and is not a necessity, the company does not feel pressure to provide truth in the advertisement because the point of the advertisement is to entice the consumer into purchasing the image being portrayed by the company. Truth in luxury advertising is irrelevant because the consumer wants the fantasy that the product is supposed to provide. In advertising, truth is irrelevant when an advertisement is selling a luxury product that a consumer does not need, however, when the product is a necessity, it is important to provide advertisements with truth, in order for the consumers to make an informed decision about the product.

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Wow you've got a lot of responses!

 

So I did my diagnostic this weekend from AAMC (#10) and I got my writing sample score back. Personally, I'm super skeptical at the score I received because I thought my samples were poorly written with bad organization. What do you think?

 

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Laws cannot change social values

 

Laws, being official rules created by a governing body, are more guidelines to moral and ethical behaviour than they are for social values. Social values can be argued to be more a function of a person's environment and upbringing. In this way, a much better catalyst to changing social values is a person's surrounding environment, the people they interact with and the experiences they have. Domestic abuse is found to be more prevalent in couples whose parents adhered to traditional genered roles and where domestic violence was observed. Although it is commonly known that it is illegal to abuse your partner, if it was even a small part of the cultural upbringing or surrounding for a person, they may be more inclined to partake in such activities. More commonly, people who more often associate themselves with other who use illegal drugs may think it is socially acceptable to use such drugs, regardless of the fact that they are illegal. Highschool students who may be exposed to this kind of behaviour on a regular basis are likely to partake in this behaviour as well, knowing full well that it is illegal. If laws had the power to change social values, then drug addictions would not be as prevalent as they are. As mentioned, laws are simply rules created by governing bodies pertaining to correct behaviours and deterrance rather than centered on the change of social values.

 

Historically speaking, however, there have been countless accounts of changes in laws leading to changes in social values. Centuries ago, monarch rule was the common leadership style in European countries. The social consensus was that the monarch or royal family was all-powerful and had the exclusive right to anything they wished. This social value was accepted by many, not only in the European countries, but also in Mayan communities where the clan leader was given whatever he wished for, even if it meant for a human sacrifice. Laws were centered around the monarchs and leaders and they were the creators and executers of these laws. In contrast, modern law provides citizens with rights and freedoms that they are entitled to. The Canadian Charter, for example, outlines that Canadians have a right to free speech and freedom of expression among many things. If something is believed to be incorrect or unfair, it can be protested. The final point is that every citizen in the modern world values these rights, and regards them as a normal social value. It would be blasphemous to think of King Henry VII's wives asking for a divorce, whereas divorce is a common discourse now. The change in laws from monarchies to democracies have allowed for these changes in social values.

 

It is evident that laws can change social values, but there are always exceptions. If a law is changed from something relatively conservative to something very radical, it would not be effective in changing social values. Canada, during World War I instilled Prohibtion and Conscription, banning alcoholic beverages and forcing young men to join the army. Both practices did not lead to a change in values because Prohibition was lifted and Conscription was stopped. The citizens did not agree to such radical ideas whereby one day they could be enjoying a beverage in the comfort of their home and the next they would be fighting in the treacherous trenches against their will. Such laws were abominated because they were unable to bring about this social change. The popular battle between Communism and Democracy is based on clear differences in laws and governing principles and yet citizens of both communist and democratic countries would agree to many social values pertaining to family life, friendship, conversational cues, et cetera. Ideally, although laws are meant to bring about eventual change in social values, they can only do so when there is a large enough supporting base in the populus for the new social value. Gay marriage is now legal and countries which were mostly homophobic are now becoming increasingly accepting. Such laws and changes in social values would not have occured if there was not a strong gay-straight alliance among the populus. Thus, laws have the power to be catalysts in social change or untouched reactants.

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Thanks :)

 

Task#3 was well-done, but was a little stronger than task#1 and task#2. Task#1 emphasized actions and behaviour not conforming to law (i.e. illegal activity, and factors contributing to it), but not so much social values. Task#2 lightly touched on social values, but not until the end of the paragraph, and the examples did not clearly demonstrate how laws change social values. This can be hard for the grader to see your logic. What's interesting is that you had powerful examples in the essay, but they did not appear until your final paragraph.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOPQRST

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In politics, one's friends and one's enemies are often the same.

 

Bipartisanship has been a key issue in the 2008 U.S. presidential elections, as well as Barack Obama’s political policies. Bipartisanship is the act of reaching out to opposition political parties and political rivals, which are essentially enemies in the political arena, in an effort to collaborate and work together for the greater good of the nation. A friend in a political sense is defined as an individual or political entity with whom one works to achieve political ends. An enemy is defined as an opposition party and all its constituents. Within a democratic framework, in politics, individuals and parties must often work together with their opposition, to ensure fair representation of different points of view, in order to arrive at a generally accepted outcome. For example, the current government in Canada is a minority or coalition government, in which no political party holds a majority of the seats. Therefore, in order for a party to reach at least some of their political ends, they must work with their political rivals, proving appropriate concessions at certain times.

 

However, there are times in the course of politics wherein political parties need not work with their political enemies in order to achieve their goals. The Canadian government from 2001 to 2004 was a majority government in which the Liberals led by Prime Minister Jean Chretien, held a majority of the seats in parliament. During this time, the Liberals did not always provide concessions to opposition parties or take their points of view into consideration when voting on important political issues.

 

Therefore, the extension of the hand of friendship to political rivals is highly circumstantial. When a political entity attains majority power within a political system, such as the Liberal party in the Canadian government from 2001 to 2004, it makes its political decisions with little regard for the opinions of its political rivals. On the other hand, when a political entity does not have majority power, such as within the current Canadian government, it must rely on the support of its political rivals in order to achieve its political ends. This is similar to the prevailing theories by scholars on the formation of society wherein the individual has supressed his animalistic instincts, in order to ensure his peaceful coexistence and survival with the millions of people around him.

 

thanks!

 

Proficiency in responding to the tasks, however the ideas in task#2 could be developed more. Adequate control of language with some grammatical or useage problem. Evidence of clarity in writing.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOPRST

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Government should fund scientific research only when it has direct application to societal problems.

 

Governments unfortunately do not have endless amounts of funding and grants to issue out to all scientific research being conducted. It is most sensible that governments provide additional financial aid to research directly addressing societal problems present within the population. This is observed in the pharmacology research industry which concentrates mainly on drug development to target the most widespread diseases. Not only do subsidising disease research and the associated drug development important for alleviating pain and suffering of the patients, it is ultimately advantageous. The appropriate drug or therapy can be administered to the patient immediately upon diagnosis, and medical personal do not need to use expensive resources to treat a potentially untreatable illness. This would be the case if governments did not supply adequate funding to these institutions which directly serve the people.

 

The purpose of directly addressing a societal problem is not necessarily a staple of an effective scientific research program that deserves grants from the government. Although this research does not serve to solve a blatant issue, society can benefit from the study or project in a completely different way. Funding NASA and space exploration is purely based on innovation and discovery. A societal crisis is not the focus of space research, but governments should and do fund these institutions because they feed the thirst for knowledge and curiosity. The Space Race that defined the Cold War between the United States and Soviet Union saw both countries providing an unprecedented amount of funding to this research. Regardless of space research’s inability to focus on a societal problem, morale was boosted in both respective countries by the first man, a Russian astronaut, in space and the moon landing by Americans Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin.

 

Funding by the government is crucial for the continuation of scientific research. Governments make it a priority to attend to the issues faced by their people, and this is evident through their cancer and AIDS research and drug development by the pharmaceutical industry. However, scientific research which does not address a societal problem not only can benefit the people by inspiring a nation, as seen during the Space Race, it encourages creativity and innovation. The final determinant of who receives government subsidies should be dependent on the benefits of the project on society as a whole. Therefore, it is key for the scientific researchers to convince the government of this fact, and for the government to be an optimistic judge of the possibilities.

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Education serves to restrict the human mind rather than to free it.

 

Education is the process through which an individual acquires knowledge and experiences growth in an intellectual capacity. Restriction of the human mind, as opposed to its freedom, can be considered as the inhibition of thoughts and opinions which the educator doesn’t want the individual to think and express. Therefore, in a case where education serves to restrict the mind, it limits the knowledge and spectrum of intellectual thought and opinion which a student is able to obtain. For instance, within the monarchy of Saudi Arabia, there is little focus on rational thought and a Western perspective within educational institutions. Subjects such as mathematics, science, and English are not given as much importance as the prevailing curriculum of Wahabist Islam. Wahabism is a sect of Islam with an extremely strict interpretation of religious text, and the principle of loyalty to the King of Saudi Arabia (also known as the “custodian of the Two Holy Mosques”). It is through this curriculum of Wahabism, which intertwines strong religious faith with the political ideology of loyalty to the ruling family, that the House of Saud (the ruling family in Saudi Arabia) prevents any free thought, maintains control over its citizens, and supresses any dissent.

 

However, education is not always utilized in such a politicized and restrictive manner. In Western civilization for example, educational institutions and the constitutions of Western nations themselves, place much emphasis on rational thinking, freedom of thought, and freedom of expression. Secondary level education for instance, exposes students to the logic-based subjects of mathematics and science, while post-secondary education allows even more autonomy in the subjects which students may choose to major in. This cultivates a population which is capable of free and innovative thinking.

 

Therefore, whether education is used as a tool to restrict the human mind, or to free it, is highly circumstantial. Education in Western democratic nations exposes individuals to a wide variety of perspectives, allowing them to think more creatively and freely, when compared to the education in monarchy-governed nations such as Saudi Arabia, where education is merely used as a tool by the ruling family to supress the type of free thinking it opposes. Essentially, the knowledge provided to individuals through education is highly dependent on the method through with the nation is governed.

 

thankss

 

Ideas presented in a coherent manner with some focus and unity. Demonstrates proficiency in responding to the tasks.

 

However, some parts of the essay such as task#2 could benefit from more depth and complexity.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMN/OPRST

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In times of war, maintaining public support is often the most difficult battle.

 

When a nation is at war, maintaining public support for the war may at times be more challenging than the armed opposition the nation faces on the battlefield. In the case of the War in Iraq which began in 2003, the president of the United States at the time, told the United States public that the reason for the invasion of Iraq was that there was reason to believe that the leader of Iraq was harbouring weapons of mass destruction (WMDs). Understandably, the United States approved the decision to invade Iraq, and Iraq was under U.S. control within a few days. However, subsequent to the invasion, no WMDs were found and public support for the decision to invade largely fell. Add to that the atrocities of Abu-Ghraib, where hundreds of human rights violations were carried out at the hands of U.S. military personnel, and U.S. public support for the war fell furthermore. This has led to the decision by the current U.S. president to withdraw several thousand U.S. troops from Iraq. This illustrates how the U.S. administration failed to maintain public support for the war, and is now forced to withdraw from Iraq, due to lack of public support.

 

However, maintaining public support for war is not always a difficult task. For instance, in post-WWI Germany, Germans were suffering from the weak economy caused by in large because of the sanctions placed on Germany by the rest of the world, due to the actions of Germany in World War I. Adolph Hitler then appeared in the political arena, and rallied the German people to go to war with several countries, promising to relieve them from their economic suffering. The German, swept off their feet by Hitler’s promises of prosperity approved of Hitler’s policies, leading to the beginning of the Nazi Holocaust and World War II. German support for Hitler remained quite strong, and the more challenging opposition Hitler faced was on the battlefield, when fighting Allied troops.

 

Therefore, during times of war, the difficulty of maintaining public support for war is highly circumstantial. If a nation is in a state of economic stability such as in the U.S. at the time of the invasion of Iraq, maintaining public support for war is quite challenging. However, if a nation is in a state of economic collapse, such as in post-WWI Germany, maintaining public support for war is relatively easy, as war is thought to bolster the economy.

 

Thanks!

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Only educated people can take advantage of new technologies.

 

Education is essentially what allows individuals to reap the maximum benefits of the technologies which surround them. Education is best recognized as the formal education one receives in North America and Europe from the kindergarten level, all the way to the post-graduate level. A formal education provides individuals with the ability to apply the various ideas and principles they have learned throughout their education to solving the problems they face at any given moment. For instance, at the advent of the new millennium, highly educated engineers from the Unites States, introduced the unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) into the realm of surveillance and reconnaissance. The UAV is an extremely sophisticated piece of technology, which requires a team of three highly trained individuals (one pilot and two servicemen) to operate, since everything from the UAV’s maintenance to its takeoff is highly complicated. At some point during the course of the ongoing war in Afghanistan, United States military personnel began equipping these reconnaissance aircraft with precision-guided bombs, in order to reduce the escalating number of U.S. military casualties within the region. Essentially, what used to require U.S. soldiers entering Taliban strongholds in order to eliminate the Taliban, could now be accomplished by UAVs dropping precision-guided bombs on Taliban strongholds, thereby eliminating the need for U.S. soldiers to put their lives in danger.

 

However, within the context of the same conflict, lies the example of an uneducated individual using a new piece of technology to accomplish their goal. Recently, the Taliban – who have seldom experienced formal education – have begun utilizing heat-seeking RPGs (Rocket Propelled Grenades) to fight off U.S. forces. Already, one U.S. Cobra helicopter has been brought down by them using these heat-seeking RPGs. RPGs require a single operator, and can be launched with the pull of a trigger.

 

Therefore, whether or not only educated individuals are able to take advantage of new technologies is highly circumstantial. In the case of technologies whose operation is quite complex, such as the UAV, only educated individuals are able to use them to their advantage. However, in cases where technology may not be very difficult to operate, such as the heat-seeking RPG, and uneducated individual may be able to use the technology to their advantage. Therefore, it is the complexity of the operation of a technology which determines the ability of uneducated individuals to the technology to their advantage. The less complex the operation, the greater the ability of uneducated individuals to use the technology to their advantage.

 

Thanks again!

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Thanks for offering this service.

 

 

Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumers' weaknesses.

 

The main goal of a successful business is to be able to make as much money as possible in order to maximize their profits. A successful business needs to be able to market their products in such a way to make an impression on the minds of their consumers. The term consumer is used to refer to the target audience of a particular business. It is the subset of the population who use certain products and services. For instance, hip hop music albums are primarily marketed to youth whereas, life insurance products are mainly targeted towards people in their 50’s or over. Once a consumer group for a given product or service has been established, a successful business needs to be able to create an image of the product or service being sold in such a way to persuade people that they really need this product. Thus, businesses need to attempt to make the product a weakness of the individual to ensure continued loyalty to the product and then take advantage of that. Other businesses that sell essential products and services such as food, clothing, shelter and health care related items may be able to take advantage of the fact that such products or services are necessary in order for people to survive and they will continue to purchase the product or service in any way possible.

 

This is quite evident in the businesses that produce and sell cigarettes. Once individuals get into a habit of smoking, cigarettes become an addiction and therefore, act as a weakness of the consumer. This ensures that the individual will continue to consume the product and purchase it on a regular basis, thereby increasing the sales and revenues of the companies. The dependency of the individual on nictotine found in cigarettes acts as a weakness of the consumer and businesses selling cigarettes succeed by taking advantage of this addiction and weakness. Moreover, a cigarette company can even increase the price of their product and not see an effect in terms of decreased sales. Consumers will still continue to purchase the product because they feel that they cannot live without it. In 2005, some cigarette companies came up with a line of cigarettes that were fruit flavoured and were packaged like a lip gloss or candy. This line of products was primarily being marketed towards teenagers in attempts to get individuals to become addicted to cigarettes at an early age to ensure continued sales of the product. Even though there were no particular ads on TV or other media sources portraying this product in a positive light due to legal restrictions, the packaging of the product was one of the major components of the marketing scheme that was used to make the product look more attractive to the teenage market. Therefore, cigarette companies survive primarily due to the addictive nature of their product and such businesses tend to succeed primarily by taking advantage of this weakening factor.

 

Alternatively, it is not always necessary for a business to take advantage of the consumers’ weaknesses in order to succeed. Some businesses are designed to help individuals while being able to make money in order to survive as a business. For example, we all tend to have a busy life with school, work, families and personal needs. Most people in urban cites are extremely busy and are always trying to find a balance between the various tasks that may need to be completed for given day. As a result, this tends to add stress and strain in our lives and some people may even be desperate to take some time to unwind and relax. There are many different ways in which individuals may make attempts to achieve a state of relaxation. MK Yoga Studio is one such example of a business that has been able to succeed over the years while making attempts to help individuals. It’s primary goal is to provide yoga and meditation classes to help people relax and get rid of the strain from their body and stress from their minds. Their program is designed to assist clients to reach a calm and peaceful state. Moreover, the instructors at this business also attempt to teach individuals the techniques that they can then use in their own homes to achieve the same state of mind. Thus, their service does not attempt to portray itself as a weakness of the consumer and such a business does not try to take any advantage of the consumer’s weakness.

 

Businesses heavily rely on marketing of their products to be able to create a brand for themselves. In order for a business to succeed, it may be necessary for the company to portray their product as being a weakness of the consumer and then take advantage of this weakness. However, other businesses may be able to succeed without taking advantage of the consumer’s weaknesses. Whether a business succeeds by taking advantage of the consumer’s weakness or not is highly dependent on the actual product or service being sold, the way it is marketed as well as the overall business model of the company.

 

An essay grader may take issue with your portrayal of businesses attempting to make their products a weakness of the individual, because you are supposed to take the angle of "the weakness as a property of the consumer to which the business is exploiting." Portraying a product as a weakness of the consumer will not be a good marketing position for the business. Advertising must satisfy a need for pleasure and an avoidance of pain. You will need a different way of describing your stance.

 

The essay shows some clarity of thought and may show some evidence of depth and complexity. Ideas were presented in a somewhat coherent manner with some focus.

 

I feel this essay will score an:

JKLMNOP/QRST

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