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Dating and Med School

Guest KG06

By Guest KG06
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Guest KG06

Guest KG06

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This is a somewhat lame/unimportant question in the grand scheme of things, but how much do dating (i.e. meeting new people) and relationships (with a significant other that's far away) suffer once you get to med school?

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Guest strider2004

Guest strider2004

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This is no different than other careers. If you are extremely committed to your career, you can spend every waking, non-eating, non-personal hour in the library. You will know your material inside and out. This also means that you'll have to make some social sacrifices. It's no different from undergrad, really. If your priority it to have enough time to have a relationship, then the time will be available. I know somebody who is very involved with the school, highly ranked in the class, lots of sports involvement, AND has a g/f.

 

If you want a relationship, then there is definitely room for one. Some students have children. Imagine raising a child while you spend 30 hours in the classroom or hospital and then committing your day's work to memory. If they can do it, then starting a relationship isn't that hard. I can say this from experience. If people say that they don't have time for a relationship because of med school, then it's because they're either not balancing time effectively or they have different priorities.

 

Now residency, well...I think everyone here wants to know about that. Different residency programs have different commitments. Doing a gen surg or neurosurg program and raising a family is probably quite a challenge. You're talking 1 in 3/4 in-house call and very long days. It might be fine to be married but if you want to know your kids....

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Pathomimi Newbie

Pathomimi

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haha..I just asked a master's student in my lab today about her parents,who are both doctors. she said that doctors usually marry doctors because they see each other at work at least. And she said that her family went through a hard time during her parents' residency...think about raising kids with a salary 35K /year and long work hours...you have a huge student loan to pay as well.....woohoo...that's tough..in med school, when you don't think about your study, you are probably think about how to get more sleep..lol..well...maybe you can dream about a b/f or g/f while you sleep..just kidding...:D..The point is that it's pretty hard to have a relationship in med school and even in your residency ...just my personal view...

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lostintime Newbie

lostintime

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Why do people like dating from their own field?

 

I would imagine most people from med would be taken? Who knows.....

 

I love how dating like everything else has become a commodity....my friend is currently picking b/w 3 guys right now. It's almost about the whole "who will give me a better life and is a better 'match' for me" rather than the "who do I truly love". Then again, who knows if love exists? Ahhaa...

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lostintime Newbie

lostintime

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I usually pick the one I feel the most comfortable with.

 

I would like to believe that would work out in the long run, but enough dramas/films/books have jaded me not to believe so.

 

But what do you mean by "comfortable with"? I'm pretty comfortable with some guy friends....but I wouldn't consider dating them lol. I would suggest the opposite--that you should date someone you're NOT that "comfortable" with...not so much that you feel irritated everytime you see their face, but maybe a bit of tension creates some sparks. Or else, it's just like an old friend, except one you kiss and make out with. HAHA....

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Wolvenstar Newbie

Wolvenstar

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Why do people like dating from their own field?

 

I would imagine most people from med would be taken? Who knows.....

 

I love how dating like everything else has become a commodity....my friend is currently picking b/w 3 guys right now. It's almost about the whole "who will give me a better life and is a better 'match' for me" rather than the "who do I truly love". Then again, who knows if love exists? Ahhaa...

 

lol your friend isn't one of those type, who dates a bunch of people at the same time is she? I truly hope she is picking one of the three guy friends to date, rather than which guy that I am with do I want to keep.

 

 

 

On the topic though, I knew two guys who went for FP and raised a family during med school. One had a kid before med school started (1year old), then they had more during med school. The other guy had his daughter in his third year.

 

The point I am trying to make. For some it is possible.

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classA Newbie

classA

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I think it will not be a problem. Theres very few doctors if any that I know that are not married and do not have kids. I think your partner will understand that you have to work long hours....and Im sure they will appreciate how much hard work your doing for them (if married).

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seeking1 Newbie

seeking1

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I'm amazed at how quickly everyone here picked up on this thread, its clear this has crossed people's minds before. And yeah, I agree with strawberri, we should probably start up a non-academic portion of the forums.

 

But yeah, I'm not really interested in the whole 'let's get married' scene yet, I'm hardly old enough and really haven't found anyone I'm that comfortable with. But I am interested in someone that I think has the potential to be that person to me, and we are in different fields, but like aran suggested, I am that sort of comfortable around her.

 

I'll probably end up chilling with her often, seeing where it goes. First year has just made me that informal about dating and surpressed my romantic notions.

 

Thoughts?

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Dr. E77 Newbie

Dr. E77

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Hey folks,

 

Just my two cents, it is perfectly doable! My fiancee and I dated throughout undergrad, grad school and now medschool. It's all about balance and understanding. For example if housework needs to be done, I would do it so she could study for her exams. Likewise if I'm away for a conference, she would take on the load. Really it's a give and take situation and communicating your needs and wants. Of course there will be obstacles, what relationship doesn't. So I hope you all find what you're looking!

 

Cheers!

 

Dr. E77

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classA Newbie

classA

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Just to second Dr. E77, its very doable. Iv been married since 2nd year of undergrad. You just gotta make sure you found the right person! My wife knows how important medicine is to me and has been nothing but supportive and understandable throughout my stress of undergrad exams and the hellish process of applying. If you find someone that can stick with you and deal with your up's and down's of applying to medical school you found the right one!!!

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whale.of.a.time Newbie

whale.of.a.time

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I would suggest the opposite--that you should date someone you're NOT that "comfortable" with...not so much that you feel irritated everytime you see their face, but maybe a bit of tension creates some sparks. Or else, it's just like an old friend, except one you kiss and make out with. HAHA....

 

But what movies never show is that part after the initial couple of years (honeymoon phase) wears off, and you're either left with someone who is also an amazing friend, or just someone you have nothing to talk about with.

 

I've been with my SO for 5 years, and we love each other a lot, but we like each other too...which makes a huge difference. When I'm 80, I'm gonna be really happy that I'm with someone who is also my best friend.

 

He's also in a non-science field, which helps! I really think it's nice to have a balance at home. Also, he's very supportive, so whenever I'm away at conferences or in the field, he takes care of everything at home.

 

I'm such a dork! :rolleyes:

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classA Newbie

classA

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Yeah I definitely do not know many people married my age. Iv been married longer then most of my friends have been dating!

Overall balance is the key. You have to know when to study and when to spend time with your significant other. Maybe thats why most applications ask about time management?? I think it was an interview question at Western this year!

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