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Do you tell people about your dream?

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I have generally NOT told people about my interest in pursuing medicine. It is a little different being a non-traditional applicant. By the time you are in your mid-late-twenties or later society expects you to have it "all figured" out and doing what you had planned on doing when you were 16 or 18 ... LOL.

 

I dont feel like being judged by telling people of my pursuit of medicine and also do not like talking about things that are "in-progress" or not sure things. Although I have interviewed now and am awaiting the results I am still hesitant to tell anyone because of it being "in-progress" and do not really feel like sharing possible failures ... although following your dream even if you fail is more admirable IMO than having given up long ago and have reserved oneself to an unfulfilling career or Plan C.

 

I have told a couple people who I would have rather not said anything, but it was getting a bit uncomfortable holding back information to people that I respect "Yeah I cant attend karate class for the next two weeks because I am preparing for something very important", "What is it?", "An interview", "For a job? are you moving away", "No its not a job interview, I dont really want to say too much until I know." After trying to hide the fact that I was pursuing medicine I felt a bit silly hiding it ... as if it was "so special" :rolleyes: that it couldnt be revealed ... So after feeling like an idiot about keeping it shrouded in a mystery as I was 'self-important' I told two people about it ... funny .. now they ask me about it all the time, whether i have heard yet? When do you hear? What kind of doctor would you be? ... LOL ... Of course those two people spread it to another two people who probably spread it further ... oh well.

 

Any one keeping it a secret, told everyone or been picky about who you tell?

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I'm not a non-trad (at least not yet anyways) but I am very picky about telling my dream to people. I've already changed my career path a few times around including getting denied to certain programs among other things. I did very poor in my first year due to just "floating" in university and not really knowing what I'm doing. I almost feel as if there is a stigma of underachieving attached to me that just won't go away. Anyways I'm set to graduate next year but am still very wary about letting people know of my plans to try and pursue medicine. Although I'm not quite in my mid to late twenties yet, I think I keep it quiet for many of the same reasons as you. I can relate to the fact that it's still a long-shot at best to actually gain admission and it's almost as if you're setting yourself up for failure. Maybe I've just been around too many condescending people in my life who constantly try to belittle you or bring you down. Ironically enough, I just happened to (regretfully) mention it to somebody the other day (which is a rare occurrence for myself) and I'm just waiting for the ensuing reaction. Just like you, I would much prefer to come out with it after actually gaining admission as opposed to it just being "in-progress".

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I have a stupid superstitious, masochistic part of me that thinks I'm going to eff up everything - so I tend to avoid doing this out of fear of "jinxing" it.

 

Also, I haven't done **** until I've gotten an interview, I'm just one of the millions who wants to be a doctor.

 

To me it's like those who call themselves "pre-med".

 

You're not pre-med until you've been accepted to med school and are waiting to start. That, or we're all "pre-med", and it means nothing.

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I haven't announced it on Facebook or anything but generally, I tell people. I've told my friends, and not only close friends, and I've told family. My family have told other people. I've told my hairdresser and my husband's coworkers. I have a blog about the process and some of my very distant friends (i.e. those I only ever talk to on FB) found out about it.

 

In general, everyone has been incredibly supportive and I appreciate it. In fact, talking about it has put me in touch with some great people who have given me great advice. My family doctor offered me a volunteer job as a physician's assistant and working for his clinical trials research. My mom's friend (who is a pediatric surgeon) has offered to let me shadow her.

 

To be honest I just don't CARE what anyone thinks if I get in or don't. If I don't, well at least I tried and I'm not ashamed of failing (though I'll probably cry for a solid week if I don't). Maybe its because I've already accomplished a lot in life (as far as others are concerned), I don't really feel like I need to prove myself to anyone. If anyone judges me if I don't get in, I just see it as a great way of filtering those people out of my life.

 

I'm also honest about the process and iterate over and over how hard it is and don't gloss over my struggles. Lots of people have commended me on how "real" I am being about it, because it seems like all people ever talk about are their successes and never their failures and struggles. Its a shame and I think a lot of people compare themselves to these people who seem to have it all figured out and find themselves wanting in comparison.

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I've been pretty open about it. I'm a non-trad as well, so I definitely understand where you're coming from. There have been a few people who have wondered about me pursuing this in my mid-late twenties, but the majority have been very supportive. Further to that, like Kas, I really don't care what people think if they don't want to support me.

 

I also just had my first interview and am now awaiting the results... trying to stay focused on the task at hand and not what's out of my control is tough!

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Definitely feel the same way. Entering university, I never told anyone what I exactly planned on doing. Hoping to enter a Masters program just to get a feel for research, but I would still like to apply to med school after.

 

Graduating now, I definitely get deflated when I hear others about how they knew from high school they were applying to med school and took all the appropriate steps in undergrad. Throughout undergrad, it was in the back of my mind, but I never really took it seriously until now, right when I'm about to graduate. Therefore, I lack quite a few EC's outside of research. Still haven't told anyone.

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As others have said, it's such a long shot (especially in ON) that I was hesitant at first to tell anyone, but now I don't really care anymore. Partly it's cause I have actually had positive feedback from the whole process, but partly it's that I've become more comfortable with the fact that this is my passion and since you only live once, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing it. Thankfully, we live in a country where it is possible to switch careers, go back to school, and "self actualize".

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I never did actually through out the process. I felt that it wasn't going to be help me in any way and potentially could harm me professionally - if they thought I was leaving is a couple of years then they may restrict my opportunities.

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I've brought it up but basically said my first goal is just to get my BA. Would be the first in my family. Beyond that I've said it interests me but it's nothing serious at this point. If I came from a science background I think I would have a much better idea. But since I haven't even been tested much on science, I'm not confident on my ability there.

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I have generally NOT told people about my interest in pursuing medicine. It is a little different being a non-traditional applicant. By the time you are in your mid-late-twenties or later society expects you to have it "all figured" out and doing what you had planned on doing when you were 16 or 18 ... LOL.

 

I dont feel like being judged by telling people of my pursuit of medicine and also do not like talking about things that are "in-progress" or not sure things. Although I have interviewed now and am awaiting the results I am still hesitant to tell anyone because of it being "in-progress" and do not really feel like sharing possible failures ... although following your dream even if you fail is more admirable IMO than having given up long ago and have reserved oneself to an unfulfilling career or Plan C.

 

I have told a couple people who I would have rather not said anything, but it was getting a bit uncomfortable holding back information to people that I respect "Yeah I cant attend karate class for the next two weeks because I am preparing for something very important", "What is it?", "An interview", "For a job? are you moving away", "No its not a job interview, I dont really want to say too much until I know." After trying to hide the fact that I was pursuing medicine I felt a bit silly hiding it ... as if it was "so special" :rolleyes: that it couldnt be revealed ... So after feeling like an idiot about keeping it shrouded in a mystery as I was 'self-important' I told two people about it ... funny .. now they ask me about it all the time, whether i have heard yet? When do you hear? What kind of doctor would you be? ... LOL ... Of course those two people spread it to another two people who probably spread it further ... oh well.

 

Any one keeping it a secret, told everyone or been picky about who you tell?

 

+1 to the bolded part.

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I became pretty honest with myself lately, if this is what I want deep down, I think telling people is OK. Because too much times I was in confident, hesitated, unsure of myself like I try to convince myself that this path is not worthy the hardship. Deep down, it is yourself who has to believe in what you doing is worthwhile, other people can tell you different things that may drift you from what you try to pursuit. After all, be honest with yourself, don't be too vocal about your dreams but if people ask, don't be dishonest. Be brave to be ambitious!

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As far as friends and colleagues I only told people I felt comfortable with, mostly because I don't look or act the part and I didn't want to be taken as a joke. I also didn't want to have the stigma that the term "premed" or whatever has with it. I'm not bring up the old tired arguments about stereotypes and premeds and whatnot but at the end of the day it doesn't do you any good to tell anyone you are interested in medicine. It only has the potential to identify yourself with whatever negative stereotypes the person you tell has about want-to-be med students.

 

That being said I never lied to anyone, especially not professors I did research with or my honors supervisor. Even when I was applying for a masters as back up I was open and honest. I told them that my goal was to go into medicine, that if I started a masters I would finish it provided that it took no more than two years, and that if I was accepted after my first year I would deffer admission if I could to finish.

 

My family knew what I was going for but I always had the attitude that med was the goal and I would see how close I could get to making it. As far as other undergrad students are concerned, I though there was no point unless I wanted to identify myself as potential competition or an arrogant ass who tried to take credit for something they haven't done yet.

trying hard for something is not arrogant, never feel that way man.

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trying hard for something is not arrogant, never feel that way man.

 

No it is not arrogant but the whole 'premed' stereotype has unfortunately colored peoples' perception of those pursuing such a profession. Its an image problem that premeds have ... likely garnered from some real back stabbing premed gunners who would kill their own mothers to gain admission.

 

Porcshe had/has a similar image problem. On the CBC program 'The Age of Persusion' with Terry O'Reilly he described how focus groups described pictures of men in Porcsches as 'a-holes', 'douche bags' ... it was a stereotype pinned to people who bought Porsches. Surely not every person with a Porsche is an a-hole however this is the stereotype in the mainstream. This is not unlike premeds .... so to openly, proudly and confidently proclaim you are a premed to everyone increases you probability of negative labels ... I can see why someone would not talk about it openly to avoid seeming arrogant due to the premed stereotype.

 

Beef

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No it is not arrogant but the whole 'premed' stereotype has unfortunately colored peoples' perception of those pursuing such a profession. Its an image problem that premeds have ... likely garnered from some real back stabbing premed gunners who would kill their own mothers to gain admission.

 

Porcshe had/has a similar image problem. On the CBC program 'The Age of Persusion' with Terry O'Reilly he described how focus groups described pictures of men in Porcsches as 'a-holes', 'douche bags' ... it was a stereotype pinned to people who bought Porsches. Surely not every person with a Porsche is an a-hole however this is the stereotype in the mainstream. This is not unlike premeds .... so to openly, proudly and confidently proclaim you are a premed to everyone increases you probability of negative labels ... I can see why someone would not talk about it openly to avoid seeming arrogant due to the premed stereotype.

 

Beef

 

Much like jocks being dumb, people who workout being meatheads, and those who drive trucks having a small penis.

 

I really enjoy stereotypes. I get to give all those peeps the finger when I prove it wrong :D

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... those who drive trucks having a small penis.

 

Lol ... Ive never heard of that one.

 

You probably saw this before ... but heres one to us jocks and meat heads who always get a bad rap.

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/story/2012/03/19/dyakowski-named-smartest-person.html

 

Reminds me of earlier in the year when I was doing a presentation at the Lakehead U research and innovation week and some girl who lives in my town, but is away in university saw me on her campus presenting my research. She said she didnt know I was a health professional, had completed a masters and did research ... her words "I just thought you were some guy who lifted weights at the gym" ... LOL ... in all fairness she saw me at the gym 4-5 times a week but I told her that I was a multi-dimensional being and one of my activities included lifting weights/ hobbyist blodybuilding but I did many-many other things ... I guess I shattered her image of guys with 18+ inch biceps :D .

 

Beef

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Well, I haven't told anyone yet either - including my family. But it's still a bit too early for me anyway. I'm applying this year, so hopefully I'll get interviews next year around this time. I will only tell people once I get an admission.

 

It's not because I'd care what they think if I get in or not; it's that I don't need the unnecessary drama of "how is it going?", blah blah. The process is stressful enough, I don't need other people stressing out for me!

 

And for those who don't tell others because they're worried what they'd think, I agree with Kat, you should lessen your contact with condescending people around you anyway.

Remember: people who matter don't care and people who care don't matter.

 

Good luck all and congratulations to those who already got interviews. I hope you do well.

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Well Im absolutely in the non-trad boat with a lot of you, and I have only told my very close friends, and parents (so they wouldnt wonder why I had taken a sudden interest in organic chemistry, chocolate, and crying and try and find me psychiatric help). Part of my secrecy lies in the profession that I am in and the fact that I dont want to attract any negative attention to myself or limit my career/educational opportunities.

 

The people who I have told, its because I cant bear the thought of lying to them, and ultimately if they cant support my pursuit of my passion and dreams then its probably something I would rather deal with sooner rather than later.

 

It also may be a "once burned- twice shy" sort of situation: before I had told almost anyone I had asked one of my nursing professors, who I trusted, to write me a reference and she told me that although I was an excellent student whom she had a close relationship with she didnt feel comfortable writing me a letter for medicine. Instead she told me she was interested in writing me a strong letter of reference to pursue my masters in nursing. I know her heart was probably in the right place but it made me feel really uncomfortable and kind of angry that my hard work, drive, and commitment was only worth writing a reference for if I was pursuing the career/dream that she chose for me.

 

I cant wait until we get some serious good news on the 15th and can tell everyone what we will be doing this sept!!!

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Thank you! I will absolutely take the crossed fingers and add them to my own!

 

Yeah, I fumed the whole way home! I kind of had to get over it quickly because she chose to tell me this only a few days before the submission deadline and luckily a supervising nurse that Ive worked with for the past fews years wrote me a glowing letter on very short notice. I am incredibly lucky-and I am still super thankful- but found it very stressful at the time!

 

Needless to say, Ive been a little more likely to create cover stories then to disclose the actual details of my life to anyone in my faculty since then.

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wow, we're like opposites, i think everything will generally work out, and it generally eventually does... you have to watch "the secret", lol... i actually generally believe that though, we are what we tell ourselves we are, habit is the mother of all action

 

I have a stupid superstitious, masochistic part of me that thinks I'm going to eff up everything - so I tend to avoid doing this out of fear of "jinxing" it.

 

Also, I haven't done **** until I've gotten an interview, I'm just one of the millions who wants to be a doctor.

 

To me it's like those who call themselves "pre-med".

 

You're not pre-med until you've been accepted to med school and are waiting to start. That, or we're all "pre-med", and it means nothing.

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wow, we're like opposites, i think everything will generally work out, and it generally eventually does... you have to watch "the secret", lol... i actually generally believe that though, we are what we tell ourselves we are, habit is the mother of all action

 

The rational part of my brain says that the secret is self help mumbo jumbo, but from my own experience being optimistic and "putting positive energy into the world" works. And why not be optimistic? Better to be happy most of the time and sad only when things don't work out than sad all of the time.

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In the last town I lived in, I was open about it. Here, not quite as much. In some cases it might hurt me professionally, simply due to that fact that rural types don't always have that much respect for people who think they're above them- and they think that ALL docs/wannabe docs think that they're above the rural types.

 

The teenagers I work with (I'm a youth worker) don't know. I am not interested in them knowing. When I'm there, it's about them, and I don't want it to become about me. Some of them seem to have me pegged though "Ky, you know medical-type stuff, can you tell me about...?" And when one of them asked me to diagnose something, I just told him I wasn't a docotr and he would have to go see one, and he said "well, you should be a doctor". So that's nice, when people don't know your dream and give you encouragement anyways. :)

 

I have told people like my boss, my other supervisors, etc. My boss kind of "outed" me the other day to my other coworkers by asking during a meeting "Your MCATs are May 31, right?" Then I got 20 questions from my coworkers about what exactly it is that I'm taking time off work for. There aren't a lot of people in town, and I recognize all sorts of people now. I tell people when I'm feeling right about it, when it comes up in conversation, that sort of thing. I don't generally volunteer the info, but I don't lie, either. BUT, people TALK in this town and there are more connections between groups and between people than there seem to be elsewhere, so just about everyone will know soon.

 

When people don't know my dream, they treat me like they would any other person. They'll confide in me stuff- I'm not sure what it is that makes people confide these things to me, but I seem to have it.

 

TL, DR: I am selective now, but it's a small community and I expect that everyone will know by the end of this year. LOL!

 

edited to add: The Secret is nice to read, but it's peudoscience, simple as that. Muse, I'm not as spiritual as you I guess. I read a book that was very much like the Secret, and I follow the principles it states in my everyday life regardless. Kind of like religion- I wouldn't suddenly become a nicer, kinder person if I became a believer.

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Lol ... Ive never heard of that one.

 

You probably saw this before ... but heres one to us jocks and meat heads who always get a bad rap.

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/story/2012/03/19/dyakowski-named-smartest-person.html

 

Reminds me of earlier in the year when I was doing a presentation at the Lakehead U research and innovation week and some girl who lives in my town, but is away in university saw me on her campus presenting my research. She said she didnt know I was a health professional, had completed a masters and did research ... her words "I just thought you were some guy who lifted weights at the gym" ... LOL ... in all fairness she saw me at the gym 4-5 times a week but I told her that I was a multi-dimensional being and one of my activities included lifting weights/ hobbyist blodybuilding but I did many-many other things ... I guess I shattered her image of guys with 18+ inch biceps :D .

 

Beef

that's what I am talking about lol.

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