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Robin Hood

By Robin Hood
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Coronaxtra Newbie

Coronaxtra

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Been feeling depressed recently. I had a large group of friends in undergrad but after going through a breakup, I don't talk to many of them. Seeing parties go on and pictures on FB/SC/Insta really makes me feel like I'm isolated from everything. I've been out of school for 8 months but not sure if this feeling will ever leave me. I get short-term happiness at times but seeing zero messages on my phone for days gives me an empty feeling. I'm stuck at home with literally no friends and my life has been work. I keep telling myself that going back to school will help me meet new people and start afresh but i don't know if it actually will. Not sure what to make of it or do tbh..i've kept it inside of me for a while and figured i needed to just let it out. 

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freewheeler Newbie

freewheeler

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Been feeling depressed recently. I had a large group of friends in undergrad but after going through a breakup, I don't talk to many of them. Seeing parties go on and pictures on FB/SC/Insta really makes me feel like I'm isolated from everything. I've been out of school for 8 months but not sure if this feeling will ever leave me. I get short-term happiness at times but seeing zero messages on my phone for days gives me an empty feeling. I'm stuck at home with literally no friends and my life has been work. I keep telling myself that going back to school will help me meet new people and start afresh but i don't know if it actually will. Not sure what to make of it or do tbh..i've kept it inside of me for a while and figured i needed to just let it out. 

 

Yeah social media is just a highlight reel...I wouldn't put much stock into it and I'd take a break from all of that if I were you.

 

Not sure what your goals are, but this is a great time to focus on investing in yourself.

 

Focus on eating healthy, exercising regularly, meditation or other stress management techniques, sleeping better and socializing with who you can.

 

Try not to get so caught up on feeling miserable for yourself. It can help you get out of your head and maintain perspective by getting out there are volunteering for a cause that you believe in. 

 

This is time to self-reflect and learn from this experience. Also time to re-connect with your passions and interests that you have perhaps gotten away from for whatever reason.

 

This is a good thing for you. You can grow a lot from this.

 

Wishing you all the best.

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cleanup Newbie

cleanup

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Been feeling depressed recently. I had a large group of friends in undergrad but after going through a breakup, I don't talk to many of them. Seeing parties go on and pictures on FB/SC/Insta really makes me feel like I'm isolated from everything. I've been out of school for 8 months but not sure if this feeling will ever leave me. I get short-term happiness at times but seeing zero messages on my phone for days gives me an empty feeling. I'm stuck at home with literally no friends and my life has been work. I keep telling myself that going back to school will help me meet new people and start afresh but i don't know if it actually will. Not sure what to make of it or do tbh..i've kept it inside of me for a while and figured i needed to just let it out. 

 

I've had similar feelings in the past and even some recently. I even went through something very similar after undergrad (breakup, lost a bunch of friends, felt angry at the world).

 

I know it may not sound helpful but I have found some solace in realizing that adult life indeed is inherently lonely. There aren't many environments like school where like-minded people come together in huge droves and have the mental, emotional and physical capibilities to be socializing on a near constant basis. 

 

One thing I have realized is that it is extremely difficult to maintain that many friends when you're an adult. Life begins to focus--you have to choose your priorities and what you enjoy spending your time on, whether that be your job, your family, friends, hobbies, your lovelife. Undoubtedly your friend circle will condense and even with your close friends you will see them less often. However I see this as a catalyst for making yourself comfortable with yourself, your circumstances and always realizing that life is too short to be unhappy. Take a moment to count your blessings, tell your closest friends (even if it may be awkward given your breakup) how much you appreciate them and that you guys should set up a date to hang out. Think about how you'd feel if someone reached out to you. Probably pretty darn good, and at least appreciated. They would feel the same.

 

Recently I have decided/realized (the fact that I use both of these terms is important) is that often enough, happiness CAN be a choice. When you're depressed and in that hole of feeling as though everything sucks, it's very difficult to break yourself out of that negative dissonance and listen to reason, but your perspective is important. When I'm stressed, down, feeling alone or unaccomplished, I just tell myself "Life is too short to be unhappy."

 

Get off of Facebook. Spend some time on yourself doing fulfilling things that YOU enjoy, for you. Contact your closest friends. And DECIDE to be happy. You'll feel better.

 

One last thing and this is important:

Expect nothing.

 

I don't want that to sound disheartening. But a big part of making your way through life is being able to brush off, learn from, and move on from disappointments & failures. You should care more about caring less. PM me if you need someone to talk to!

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sangria Newbie

sangria

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I've had similar feelings in the past and even some recently. I even went through something very similar after undergrad (breakup, lost a bunch of friends, felt angry at the world).

 

I know it may not sound helpful but I have found some solace in realizing that adult life indeed is inherently lonely. There aren't many environments like school where like-minded people come together in huge droves and have the mental, emotional and physical capibilities to be socializing on a near constant basis. 

 

One thing I have realized is that it is extremely difficult to maintain that many friends when you're an adult. Life begins to focus--you have to choose your priorities and what you enjoy spending your time on, whether that be your job, your family, friends, hobbies, your lovelife. Undoubtedly your friend circle will condense and even with your close friends you will see them less often. However I see this as a catalyst for making yourself comfortable with yourself, your circumstances and always realizing that life is too short to be unhappy. Take a moment to count your blessings, tell your closest friends (even if it may be awkward given your breakup) how much you appreciate them and that you guys should set up a date to hang out. Think about how you'd feel if someone reached out to you. Probably pretty darn good, and at least appreciated. They would feel the same.

 

Recently I have decided/realized (the fact that I use both of these terms is important) is that often enough, happiness CAN be a choice. When you're depressed and in that hole of feeling as though everything sucks, it's very difficult to break yourself out of that negative dissonance and listen to reason, but your perspective is important. When I'm stressed, down, feeling alone or unaccomplished, I just tell myself "Life is too short to be unhappy."

 

Get off of Facebook. Spend some time on yourself doing fulfilling things that YOU enjoy, for you. Contact your closest friends. And DECIDE to be happy. You'll feel better.

 

One last thing and this is important:

Expect nothing.

 

I don't want that to sound disheartening. But a big part of making your way through life is being able to brush off, learn from, and move on from disappointments & failures. You should care more about caring less. PM me if you need someone to talk to!

 

 

I agree with this sentiment to an extent. I think we should care more about ourselves internally but expect less from other people. OP, remember that Facebook is not real life by any means. Being around friends is OK, and being alone is OK too. Find out what makes you tick, and do the hell out of that. You do you. 

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Cytosine Newbie

Cytosine

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Been feeling depressed recently. I had a large group of friends in undergrad but after going through a breakup, I don't talk to many of them. Seeing parties go on and pictures on FB/SC/Insta really makes me feel like I'm isolated from everything. I've been out of school for 8 months but not sure if this feeling will ever leave me. I get short-term happiness at times but seeing zero messages on my phone for days gives me an empty feeling. I'm stuck at home with literally no friends and my life has been work. I keep telling myself that going back to school will help me meet new people and start afresh but i don't know if it actually will. Not sure what to make of it or do tbh..i've kept it inside of me for a while and figured i needed to just let it out. 

 

I've felt similarly in the past and even now. I try to focus on what I have instead of what I don't have. I don't have a lot of close friends, but then again, I like spending time alone and I also have an absolutely amazing and supportive family with whom I love spending time. Keeping busy also helps taking my mind off negative feelings if they pop up. How about taking a class just for fun? I've met great people when I signed up for local sports or arts classes. Even if I didn't make friends, I learned a new and fun skill. :)

 

And don't forget, if you're really struggling, you should consider getting professional help.

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Coronaxtra Newbie

Coronaxtra

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Thank you all for your responses, it took a while to digest but I see the good that come out of this. For the past few weeks, I've reconnected with my closest friends and spent time playing hockey, going to sport events, etc. and its been a good change. I know I've got to move past it and focus on me but it'll take some time and this is just the beginning. I hope I can update everyone in a few months with better news. Thanks again!!

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End Poverty Newbie

End Poverty

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Last year, during that time, I was very anxious about whether or not I would get med school interviews. This year, it seems that I am quite indifferent to the stresses of process. Not that i don't care or that it is not important to me.

 

 One of my close friends noticed that I have not been talking about med school applications with them at all since September.  They even thought that I am no longer interested in getting into med school. I guess I am no less passionate about becoming a doctor, but less obsessive about getting into medical school. 

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cookacola Newbie

cookacola

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Feeling really de-motivated this week. I keep telling myself I'm going to do solid interview prep, but keep putting it off to do my school work or just get too nervous/anxious to do intense prep. I've never had such a bad semester as far as assignments/presentations/essays/midterms being all at the same time, which is in March at the same time as all my interviews. On one hand I'm concerned that my grades will drop, so I need to spend all my time to prevent this in case I don't get in this year making my 4th year marks incredibly important. On the other hand if I don't allocate enough time to interview prep, I'm basically ensuring I won't get in this year as well. Really feeling the pressure

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freewheeler Newbie

freewheeler

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Feeling really de-motivated this week. I keep telling myself I'm going to do solid interview prep, but keep putting it off to do my school work or just get too nervous/anxious to do intense prep. I've never had such a bad semester as far as assignments/presentations/essays/midterms being all at the same time, which is in March at the same time as all my interviews. On one hand I'm concerned that my grades will drop, so I need to spend all my time to prevent this in case I don't get in this year making my 4th year marks incredibly important. On the other hand if I don't allocate enough time to interview prep, I'm basically ensuring I won't get in this year as well. Really feeling the pressure

 

Pretty common experience. Don't forget to spend some time to take care of yourself (eat well, sleep, exercise, de-stress, etc.) as that will help you be more relaxed which is important in so far as enjoying life and doing well in an interview are concerned. 

 

I don't know who you are or what your personality is like, but not everyone needs to do intense interview prep. Some people have stronger social skills, are comfortable articulating their thoughts and know how to interview well based on past experience. Others aren't so socially graceful, lack self-awareness and have poor social skills and would benefit more from thorough preparation.

 

Only you know where you stand on that spectrum, but definitely don't beat yourself up over this stuff. 

 

My 2 cents on interview prep:

 

-general: copious amounts of self-reflection-->know your motivations for medicine well, have a strong narrative and examples from your life that reflect CANMEDS competencies, lookup the faculty of medicine's mission statement or values on their website and think about how you demonstrate those traits

 

-MMI: balance what is ethical vs what is practical in coming to a solution (with short term and long term options) that are fair, considerate and realistic to all parties involved

 

-pro tip: do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and be relaxed throughout this entire process and (ideally) also on interview day, avoid comparing yourself to others, be comfortable with simply being yourself, always be honest and direct in your answers, be polite and respectful to everyone, do some practice prompts either alone or with prep partners mostly to get used to the timing and thinking on the spot

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RedLily Newbie

RedLily

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-general: copious amounts of self-reflection-->know your motivations for medicine well, have a strong narrative and examples from your life that reflect CANMEDS competencies .....

 

-pro tip: do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and be relaxed throughout this entire process and (ideally) also on interview day, avoid comparing yourself to others, be comfortable with simply being yourself, always be honest and direct in your answers, be polite and respectful to everyone, do some practice prompts either alone or with prep partners mostly to get used to the timing and thinking on the spot

 

Second this. Through the cycles, the best interview I had was the one where, 1. I felt I could articulate well why I wanted to be in that room interviewing to adcoms, and 2. I went in having done what I could to calm myself as much as possible (lol easier said than done) before hand. I did most of my prep while driving, thinking about questions I could be asked and just sorting out how best I could explain myself, and just general self-reflection. And interview day I had some of my favorite people on the planet around me. Just remember there is no 'one' way to prep, just as there is no one perfect MMI answer/method/etc. So don't feel bad or like you're doing something wrong if you're not doing the same prep you see others doing.

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cookacola Newbie

cookacola

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-pro tip: do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and be relaxed throughout this entire process and (ideally) also on interview day, avoid comparing yourself to others, be comfortable with simply being yourself, always be honest and direct in your answers, be polite and respectful to everyone, do some practice prompts either alone or with prep partners mostly to get used to the timing and thinking on the spot

 

 

Second this. Through the cycles, the best interview I had was the one where, 1. I felt I could articulate well why I wanted to be in that room interviewing to adcoms, and 2. I went in having done what I could to calm myself as much as possible (lol easier said than done) before hand. I did most of my prep while driving, thinking about questions I could be asked and just sorting out how best I could explain myself, and just general self-reflection. And interview day I had some of my favorite people on the planet around me. Just remember there is no 'one' way to prep, just as there is no one perfect MMI answer/method/etc. So don't feel bad or like you're doing something wrong if you're not doing the same prep you see others doing.

 

Thank you both for your replies. I think part of my issue is comparing myself to others too much, and thinking the less time I am prepping means someone else is prepping more. You're both right, everyone is different and needs different things. Eases my mind  :)

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canucks_14 Newbie

canucks_14

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Roll up the rim is back! I'm looking forward to a season of redemption after going 0-40 last year :(

I actually lol'd at this. I think that is a really tough unlucky streak as I've found the rate to be ~1 in 15ish (at least) over the years. So yeah that is really unlucky haha but hey I gotta say I love your positive attitude in hopes for a redemption. I think if you want it bad enough and work hard enough you can do it

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Sauna Newbie

Sauna

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I actually lol'd at this. I think that is a really tough unlucky streak as I've found the rate to be ~1 in 15ish (at least) over the years. So yeah that is really unlucky haha but hey I gotta say I love your positive attitude in hopes for a redemption. I think if you want it bad enough and work hard enough you can do it

I actually won a free donut yesterday but it was from an unrolled cup I found in the garbage can LOL. Yes it's nasty BUT it was near the TOP and in clear sight! 

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