Renin Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 yeah to be fair to you orca, didn't think the two options exhausted all possibilities anyway, that is some depressing stuff. Renin, why don't you date younger men? edit: and why not online dating? I'm sure you have so many assets that some men want, you just haven't met those kinds of men. On a moral dimension, doctors are impressive people. I have dated younger ... and online dating hasn't worked out very well for me. I know I have lots of assets that some guys want. Unfortunately, I had a weird encounter with a staff physician as a result of online dating (he sent me an inappropriate message on an online dating site and then brought it up at work when he saw me in the hall the next day). No more of that. I would have a problem if a guy only made 40K a year. What the f is he doing that he only earns that much a year. If I'm making 500K a year, he'd better not get used to living my lifestyle because guess what, I'm not going to support him if we divorce financially. If he says it's because it's a job he loves, I'd kick his ass. Guess what, I have jobs I love too but I can't do them because I have to support myself financially. I would love to own a little fashion boutique and sell clothes - but it's not steady income and I'd do it after I retired or was financially stable to do that. I want to find a partner. Not someone who can live a lux life in exchange for being my sex buddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobthebuilder Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 I would have a problem if a guy only made 40K a year. What the f is he doing that he only earns that much a year. Infantry soldier, policeman, fireman, First responder and I think there are more. If I'm making 500K a year, he'd better not get used to living my lifestyle because guess what, I'm not going to support him if we divorce financially. well if you have children...the court will state otherwise I am pretty sure You know sex equality 10chars Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 Even without children, spousal support to the other spouse is a reality, which includes for ther male spouse in circumstances where he has been given a lifestyle which the female spouse can still afford to support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renin Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 Even without children, spousal support to the other spouse is a reality, which includes for ther male spouse in circumstances where he has been given a lifestyle which the female spouse can still afford to support. Which is not cool. I dunno, I know a lot of nice EMS guys, but how many of them are like, "Yup, my wife's a doc." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shady Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 I have dated younger ... and online dating hasn't worked out very well for me. I know I have lots of assets that some guys want. Unfortunately, I had a weird encounter with a staff physician as a result of online dating (he sent me an inappropriate message on an online dating site and then brought it up at work when he saw me in the hall the next day). No more of that. I would have a problem if a guy only made 40K a year. What the f is he doing that he only earns that much a year. If I'm making 500K a year, he'd better not get used to living my lifestyle because guess what, I'm not going to support him if we divorce financially. If he says it's because it's a job he loves, I'd kick his ass. Guess what, I have jobs I love too but I can't do them because I have to support myself financially. I would love to own a little fashion boutique and sell clothes - but it's not steady income and I'd do it after I retired or was financially stable to do that. I want to find a partner. Not someone who can live a lux life in exchange for being my sex buddy. You have to. It's the law. Equality goes both ways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fugacity Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 If you're sexy or at the very least woman like..youl find a good one. Blue eyes, Blonde Hair, Bodybuilder, Hockey player attending medical school. I am not too worried. /#alphamalestatus lmao The more you post the more I think you aren't 27. Ah well I was only being helpful anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renin Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 You have to. It's the law. Equality goes both ways Maybe I"ll draft one of those pre-nups that are sort of crazy and stipulate how much money you can take away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orcamute Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 The more you post the more I think you aren't 27. Ah well I was only being helpful anyway. Same. 10char. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorelan Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 You have to. It's the law. Equality goes both ways Ha - and some of have pointed out this is part of the reason why some docs find it more difficult to date. If you are looking for someone with a similar income the dating pool is pretty small comparatively. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renin Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 Ha - and some of have pointed out this is part of the reason why some docs find it more difficult to date. If you are looking for someone with a similar income the dating pool is pretty small comparatively. Very small, and quite dry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzle Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 I have dated younger ... and online dating hasn't worked out very well for me. I know I have lots of assets that some guys want. Unfortunately, I had a weird encounter with a staff physician as a result of online dating (he sent me an inappropriate message on an online dating site and then brought it up at work when he saw me in the hall the next day). No more of that. I would have a problem if a guy only made 40K a year. What the f is he doing that he only earns that much a year. If I'm making 500K a year, he'd better not get used to living my lifestyle because guess what, I'm not going to support him if we divorce financially. If he says it's because it's a job he loves, I'd kick his ass. Guess what, I have jobs I love too but I can't do them because I have to support myself financially. I would love to own a little fashion boutique and sell clothes - but it's not steady income and I'd do it after I retired or was financially stable to do that. I want to find a partner. Not someone who can live a lux life in exchange for being my sex buddy. You're smart but I find this dumb. Don't blame people for following their passions. For some, making 40-50k/year is all they hoped for, and dating docs isn't in their plans to begin with. So if it happens that mutual seduction occurs with a doc, it's not that person's fault. In fact, there is nothing wrong ever with doing your passion. I don't know if you know but tons of academics only make 50k per year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shady Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 Maybe I"ll draft one of those pre-nups that are sort of crazy and stipulate how much money you can take away Personally I wouldn't care how much money the woman I love makes. And if things went sour and had to divorce, I could live with paying alimony. Money and material things are important, but they aren't everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renin Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 You're smart but I find this dumb. Don't blame people for following their passions. For some, making 40-50k/year is all they hoped for, and dating docs isn't in their plans to begin with. So if it happens that mutual seduction occurs with a doc, it's not that person's fault. In fact, there is nothing wrong ever with doing your passion. I don't know if you know but tons of academics only make 50k per year. Oh; the problem is expecting to live a 500K lifestyle when you pull in 50K. If he is happy living a 50K lifestyle, then that is fine. If his earning potential is 50K and he loves his job so much, then when we separate, he should be happy living with his 50K. He shouldn't have a piece of my 500K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralk Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 You're smart but I find this dumb. Don't blame people for following their passions. For some, making 40-50k/year is all they hoped for, and dating docs isn't in their plans to begin with. So if it happens that mutual seduction occurs with a doc, it's not that person's fault. In fact, there is nothing wrong ever with doing your passion. I don't know if you know but tons of academics only make 50k per year. Well said! There are many people, men and women, who support their families on $40k a year. No, they don't live luxuriously, but many work very hard to earn that salary. Money is, of course, always a concern and a valid reason for wanting to go into medicine over similar careers, but I think the purpose of going for a high-salary career such as this is so that money DOESN'T become an issue, especially when looking at potential partners. Being in a relationship means working as a team - if I've got one aspect of life covered on my own, I need someone to help me with all the other aspects I don't have fully covered (like getting an appropriate amount of sleep ) Nothing wrong with more money, but I'll have enough for myself and my family as it is, so I don't see the point of putting such a high value on it when looking for a significant other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdy Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 A lot of stuff said in this thread borders on misandry. How many of you would have such a big problem with a woman earning less than her husband? Would you call her weak? I feel sorry for those of you who are so hung up on earning potential; you'll be overlooking a lot of really amazing potential partners. The true value of a person's work isn't in what they are paid but what they put into it. The hardest working people I know don't break $40k a year. They are garbage men and farmers, fishermen who go west all winter, and volunteer firefighters who stay up all night to put out a blaze and go back to their $13/hr job in the morning. You are all lucky to be in a position where your income will be far and above that of most workers; the kind of financial adversity many of your patients will deal with will not be part of your life anymore, if it ever was. You worked hard to get there, and you are fortunate that things lined up as they did for you. This attitude that some of you have, however, about how much more valuable you would be in a relationship just because of your income is an attitude I've seen tear apart the marriages of friends, and I hope you overcome it before you pass up real opportunities for happiness with amazing people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralk Posted June 9, 2013 Report Share Posted June 9, 2013 Oh; the problem is expecting to live a 500K lifestyle when you pull in 50K. If he is happy living a 50K lifestyle, then that is fine. If his earning potential is 50K and he loves his job so much, then when we separate, he should be happy living with his 50K. He shouldn't have a piece of my 500K. If you go into a relationship expecting it to end, it will. Marriage is a team sport - we all spend some time before that making sure that we're picking the right teammate, but at some point, you just have to trust the one you've chosen to be on your side. Make him sign a pre-nup if you'd like, nothing wrong with that, you should always insist that you're not being taken advantage of by your partner. But, if you want a partner, you've got to be willing to be a partner as well. That means you can't say "this is mine, not your's", because that's not a foundation for working together, whether your salaries happen to be roughly the same or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaronjw Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 For the people on here that keep having failed relationships maybe the problem isn't the one you were dating? There's a common denominator and it's you. And I can see why after reading some of the comments in this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shady Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 ^ Well said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future doc Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 Oh; the problem is expecting to live a 500K lifestyle when you pull in 50K. If he is happy living a 50K lifestyle, then that is fine. If his earning potential is 50K and he loves his job so much, then when we separate, he should be happy living with his 50K. He shouldn't have a piece of my 500K. +1 10chars Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzle Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 Oh; the problem is expecting to live a 500K lifestyle when you pull in 50K. If he is happy living a 50K lifestyle, then that is fine. If his earning potential is 50K and he loves his job so much, then when we separate, he should be happy living with his 50K. He shouldn't have a piece of my 500K. I don't like the "my" here for some reason. I can't pinpoint why exactly. For example, your husband could help you in flourishing as a physician. When you separate and claim the 500k all to yourself, you may not realize the sacrifices your husband has made for you. So your husband may have grounds beyond the maintenance of a certain lifestyle, namely, equity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gametime24 Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 I don't like the "my" here for some reason. I can't pinpoint why exactly. For example, your husband could help you in flourishing as a physician. When you separate and claim the 500k all to yourself, you may not realize the sacrifices your husband has made for you. So your husband may have grounds beyond the maintenance of a certain lifestyle, namely, equity. Agreed. I have no problem sharing my income with my girlfriend/wife. A marriage gets rid of the "my" in favour of the "our". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catlover159797 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 I have dated younger ... and online dating hasn't worked out very well for me. I know I have lots of assets that some guys want. Unfortunately, I had a weird encounter with a staff physician as a result of online dating (he sent me an inappropriate message on an online dating site and then brought it up at work when he saw me in the hall the next day). No more of that. I would have a problem if a guy only made 40K a year. What the f is he doing that he only earns that much a year. If I'm making 500K a year, he'd better not get used to living my lifestyle because guess what, I'm not going to support him if we divorce financially. If he says it's because it's a job he loves, I'd kick his ass. Guess what, I have jobs I love too but I can't do them because I have to support myself financially. I would love to own a little fashion boutique and sell clothes - but it's not steady income and I'd do it after I retired or was financially stable to do that. I want to find a partner. Not someone who can live a lux life in exchange for being my sex buddy. If we met in real life we would be best friends. We have the exact same mentality... I ain't letting some dude making 40 k mouch off of me! I deserve to be taken care of someone who figured out his life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzle Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 If we met in real life we would be best friends. We have the exact same mentality... I ain't letting some dude making 40 k mouch off of me! I deserve to be taken care of someone who figured out his life. You're taking care of your husband or he takes care of you? If the latter, why? Secondly, your mapping of making 40k with not having figured out one's life is so ignorant. Many people who have figured out their lives make 40k. In fact, I'm sure there are tons of physicians who haven't figured out their lives despite making 500k per year. There's no relationship between income and having figured out one's life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobthebuilder Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 If we met in real life we would be best friends. We have the exact same mentality... I ain't letting some dude making 40 k mouch off of me! I deserve to be taken care of someone who figured out his life. because you assume the guy want to abuse you or something...I think we (or perhaps you) should realise this is not some kind of business contract we are talking about. It's a relationship...a LOVE relationship. You don't have to be with someone just to be with someone. and it's not like the guy is going like : Oh yeaaa she's a doctor... let's live off of her salary and then we get maried and I divorce and I get the money gnagnagnagna. It doesn't work like that and I will never believe it...or maybe I am being naive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow_knight Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 If we met in real life we would be best friends. We have the exact same mentality... I ain't letting some dude making 40 k mouch off of me! I deserve to be taken care of someone who figured out his life. Its new to me that this kind of thinking also prevails among females. Previously I considered only male doctors had this issue of guarding against getting into relationships with "luxury desiring leeches". It's a good idea for you (and your best friend) to know the male's income first before deciding you're gonna fall for him or not. That'll be one less thing to be paranoid about. Some potential well earning male partners can be found in the weapons and drug smuggling industry. Please take a look there too. That'll give you the added buff of physical protection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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