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Ottawa Interview Discussion/countdown To May 9 2017

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Why can't you all use Tinder like the rest of us ROFL

 

Some of us prefer more traditional approaches to dating rather than using an app  :). Not to mention a preference for someone with the same professional aspirations that can sympathize with what you're going through.. because they're going through it with you.

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I dislike online dating. It's okay in theory, and has some definite pros over traditional dating. But it just seems like you're selling yourself, rather than being yourself. A lot of it is fake bullshit.

 

The objectification is pretty bad. Especially so for guys, I think. I much prefer meeting women in person, ideally through shared interests. But the downside relative to online dating is that you have to place yourself in situations which allow you to meet new people. And if you hate clubbing and are already graduated, like me, you have to get creative. Also, not everyone has time to do that etc. But I think it's much more fun/easier.

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Some of us prefer more traditional approaches to dating rather than using an app  :). Not to mention a preference for someone with the some professional aspirations that can sympathize with what you're going through.. because they're going through it with you.

 

I dislike online dating. It's okay in theory, and has some definite pros over traditional dating. But it just seems like you're selling yourself, rather than being yourself. A lot of it is fake bullshit.

 

The objectification is pretty bad. Especially so for guys, I think. I much prefer meeting women in person, ideally through shared interests. But the downside relative to online dating is that you have to place yourself in situations which allow you to meet new people. And if you hate clubbing and are already graduated, like me, you have to get creative. Also, not everyone has time to do that etc. But I think it's much more fun/easier.

Exactly - apps like tinder are great for hook-ups, but it takes away the spontaneity and magic associated with the traditional approach... it just doesn't do it for me. Also not great for finding substance. For example, the girl in question I met while at a morning volunteer placement - she was there on my day bc she missed her's that week and wanted to make up the missed date. It was the kind and patient way she interacted with people that initially caught my attention - something you could never ascertain while thumbing your way through painfully superficial profiles.

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Can some of you guys please stay single so us single ladies applying to med school don't end up forever alone...? :mellow: lmao XD

Hahaha as a guy this has also been a worry of mine, I'm concerned everybody's already gonna be in long-term relationships! Some of us just weren't interested in dating during undergrad  :mellow:

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Hahaha as a guy this has also been a worry of mine, I'm concerned everybody's already gonna be in long-term relationships! Some of us just weren't interested in dating during undergrad  :mellow:

What changes between undergrad and med school that makes you want to start dating? Med school is still rigorous and time-consuming. Is it that you don't need to gun as hard for GPA/extracurriculars? Med school coincides with the age to start settling down? 

 

Genuinely curious here. I have been in a relationship for more than half of my undergrad so I'm coming from a different perspective. 

 

Also the Tinder thing was a joke...

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What changes between undergrad and med school that makes you want to start dating? Med school is still rigorous and time-consuming. Is it that you don't need to gun as hard for GPA/extracurriculars? Med school coincides with the age to start settling down?

 

Genuinely curious here. I have been in a relationship for more than half of my undergrad so I'm coming from a different perspective.

 

Also the Tinder thing was a joke...

Yeah, I am against the whole 'not dating in undergrad'. Things only get busier and time management only gets harder. Imo, you have to build a balance in your life separate from that of your professional life. Otherwise, not only do you set yourself in a worse position in the future, but your entire undergrad becomes a grind.

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Yeah, I am against the whole 'not dating in undergrad'. Things only get busier and time management only gets harder. Imo, you have to build a balance in your life separate from that of your professional life. Otherwise, not only do you set yourself in a worse position in the future, but your entire undergrad becomes a grind.

Very fair point! There will always be things to occupy us, things get busier, etc. and building up a relationship is an investment of time and effort. But you should still consider the fact that there's a lot riding on those undergrad years and there isn't quite as much stability (i.e. your "fate" is still largely undecided!). For example, a breakup can take a huge toll on a person, and imagine if the timing of that was before your MCAT -- then you could be looking at a wasted summer and a rewrite next year! Maybe someone else could explain it more eloquently than me  :mellow:

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Things are on the line during med school as well, what if you break up before a your rotations and cant get good reference letters for CaRMS? What if you break up during residency, and cant perform your job well and have your money put into housing etc and you have to move from co-residence etc? What if you break up during practise as a doctor, and that affects your work? Those are all things that are more drastic than breaking up before an MCAT. Since you are talking about the worst case (breaking up)- just giving you context as I am also against not dating in undergrad and thinking you will magically find a partner in med school lol 

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Things are on the line during med school as well, what if you break up before a your rotations and cant get good reference letters for CaRMS? What if you break up during residency, and cant perform your job well and have your money put into housing etc and you have to move from co-residence etc? What if you break up during practise as a doctor, and that affects your work? Those are all things that are more drastic than breaking up before an MCAT. Since you are talking about the worst case (breaking up)- just giving you context as I am also against not dating in undergrad and thinking you will magically find a partner in med school lol 

I also am part of the "not against dating in undergrad" camp, but to play devil's advocate, I think I can see the value in focusing on one's studying until they have a clear idea of where they'll be for the next X years, their new lifestyle, etc.

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Things are on the line during med school as well, what if you break up before a your rotations and cant get good reference letters for CaRMS? What if you break up during residency, and cant perform your job well and have your money put into housing etc and you have to move from co-residence etc? What if you break up during practise as a doctor, and that affects your work? Those are all things that are more drastic than breaking up before an MCAT. Since you are talking about the worst case (breaking up)- just giving you context as I am also against not dating in undergrad and thinking you will magically find a partner in med school lol 

I'm with you here. That is not to say you absolutely won't find someone in med school. It seems shortsighted to me to think someone that happens to be available, compatible, and willing to date while stressed, busy and in med school. That being said, there are a lot of doctors that end up marrying doctors? Maybe there is some merit there?

Everyone is on their own timeline I guess.

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To be honest the difference for me is timing - there is so much I need to accomplish. I have not even gained entry into medical school yet - the vision and the effort are all but meaningless to me if the end goal is not realized. A significant other will almost invariably have unrealized aspirations of his/her own, and as a junior or a senior in undergrad, the pressure to find someone does not supersede the pressure to realize one's perceived potential. Once (if) I'm a medical student, my future is more or less determined; sure, things become more labour intensive. I am not trying to say that gaining entry = the end of all anguish and strife associated with the journey. However, at that point in my life, my focus will (more than likely) shift to include that which is relational - I may be compelled to make compromises that I would not have made so early in my academic career. Not to say that I will not give my training all the effort that it merits, but at a similar token, it is paramount that one finds fulfillment in all aspect of one's being - relationships are crucial to this fulfillment. 

 

EDIT: @curiousaboutapps1

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I like the direction that this thread has taken, haha!

 

Some of us prefer more traditional approaches to dating rather than using an app  :). Not to mention a preference for someone with the same professional aspirations that can sympathize with what you're going through.. because they're going through it with you.

 

 

To add my two cents in, I second this.  My SO and I have the same career aspirations, so it's been nice (albeit stressful and challenging at times) to go through the process together, right from the start of undergrad.

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To be honest the difference for me is timing - there is so much I need to accomplish. I have not even gained entry into medical school yet - the vision and the effort are all but meaningless to me if the end goal is not realized. A significant other will almost invariably have unrealized aspirations of his/her own, and as a junior or a senior in undergrad, the pressure to find someone does not supersede the pressure to realize one's perceived potential. Once (if) I'm a medical student, my future is more or less determined; sure, things become more labour intensive. I am not trying to say that gaining entry = the end of all anguish and strife associated with the journey. However, at that point in my life, my focus will (more than likely) shift to include that which is relational - I may be compelled to make compromises that I would not have made so early in my academic career. Not to say that I will not give my training all the effort that it merits, but at a similar token, it is paramount that one finds fulfillment in all aspect of one's being - relationships are crucial to this fulfillment. 

 

EDIT: @curiousaboutapps1

Oh okay, I get that. It's just a slight difference in priorities then. 

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Hahaha as a guy this has also been a worry of mine, I'm concerned everybody's already gonna be in long-term relationships! Some of us just weren't interested in dating during undergrad  :mellow:

 

Don't worry, that's not the case! ;)

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Also, at my interview this year, one of the candidates had her boyfriend break up with her the day before her interview... knowing she had it the next day. Classy, eh? 

 

And as for doctors marrying doctors... wouldn't that be great?  I want to find long term / life long friends in med school. I see all those classmates as future colleagues but some of the friends I'd wanna make, I'd want it to be a real connection. Someone who gets you, your dreams, aspirations, goals, ambition... etc. I always thought that ideally I'd be friends with a guy before having a relationship with him... that way I can know him flaws and all :)

 

And the best ways to find a good lasting friendship is unplanned repeated interactions ( eg. school/work), proximity (neighbours...), and common interests... So med school ticks in 2 of the boxes. Makes sense to want to find a "mate" there. Ya know?

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