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Rejected or Waitlisted : You are not alone.

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Ok sorry for this long post but I had to share my thoughts to all current and future applicants that are facing disappointment.
Everything written here is based on my humble opinion.
If it can help one person, than I have achieved my goal.


Since decision came out, a lot of amazing candidates learned that they were rejected.
They may feel emptiness, doubts or sadness, thinking that their efforts were wasted.
They may feel that even after re-doing basic sciences, reading books and working hard, it wasn't enough.
I am just writing this post to let you know that we all go through that feeling.
You are human and it is normal to feel that way.
What I did in the process, is write letters to myself.
I never wanted to forget how I felt because it would help me later on in life.

I was questioning if writing a post about this was a good idea.
I am no one. 
And I like motivation but would hate to sound like a cheap version of Anthony Robbins.

About me

I got in this year at my fourth trial.
I was granted a single interview and rejected everywhere else.
It was my first interview.
I am not different form all of you and I got in.
I am a normal student. 
I am not smart.
I just try my best and try to forget about the rest.

You're more than a medical school acceptance or rejection

Challenges come along all the time, may they be medical or not.
Resilience, persistence and dedication are traits that can be developed.
In my case, I was trying to become a better person.
I improved myself and that could have been useful in every circumstance.
Had I decided to go into healthcare management, financial services, etc.
Sure, rejections letter meant I wasn't fit for medical school.
But no one could take away the skills I had developed and the experiences I gained.

The best way to prevent regrets is to give your best today

For me, there are 2 types of rejections :

  1. Rejected while knowing I did not do my best : leads to regrets 
  2. Rejected while knowing that I did my best: no regrets at all

This year, I was ready for the second type of rejection.
So all I can tell you guys is : just do your best.
If you truly give everything you have, then you can be proud and happy.
Control what you can control.

The increasing competition and the decreased amount of seats : you can't control at all.
Your GPA, your MCAT score, your pre-req scores : all in your hands.

You can still change your mind and that is not a failure

I think that medicine is not for everyone.
Some amazing potential doctors become public health researchers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, etc.
And they leave a trace on our society that exceeds what most doctors did.

Don't give up because they refused to give you a spot.
BUT accept that there there are other ways to make an impact.
If you decide to move on because you discover another passion : it is fine and you should be proud.
It is not a failure. It is a decision. We can have more than one passion in life.
It's not a one size fits all world.
Just be sure you are making that decision because you want to : not because a letter forced you to.

Everything you are feeling is normal and we all felt i

So I said earlier that I used to write letters to myself when I was tired.
It is very personal but here is one that I wrote about a month ago.
I wrote it after the interviews when I was reading about the statistics.
Let's just say the numbers are not very encouraging.
Just to show you that you are not alone in this.
I'm not even making that up.



Today, I am feeling tired and exhausted of that game. That extra mile I always have to go for. That half percent that could potentially change the rounding of my grade, the letter on my transcript that could impact my admission. Sometimes, I feel like just letting go. Just accepting that it was simply an illusion. How many in the past have been as close as I am? What is an interview worth? Almost nothing I feel.

I am not sure how I would react towards a rejection. It’s another year of waiting and hoping, sitting and wishing. I wish I could relieve myself of all the doubts because they feel like a burden. There’s nothing to be dramatic about, at the end of the day, it’s just a job, isn’t it? I have a hard time accepting that definition. Everything that I did in the last ten years was done because I was passionate about it. But deep inside my heart, I was always fantasizing about how these experiences could make me a better doctor. 

I wil be reading this letter in a few weeks, when the decision will be out. All I can do right now is do my best to maintain my grades. It’s not easy and I don’t think it’s supposed to be. And I keep listening to those lyrics : ‘Only love will win in the end’. I can’t stop thinking about how my life would be in the event of an acceptance. All the doubts would make sense. All my path and the related detours would finally be explainable. 
I am also writing this letter because I want to remember, for the rest of my life, how hard I worked to get there. Even in the even of an acceptance, there will be times I will question medical school and residency. I want to never forgot that I have been dreaming about that acceptance since 10 years.
There is a fine line between persistence and obsession and I call it passion. Not for medicine. Passion to be the best I can be, to push myself and to never give up. It’s all words of course and I wish I could live up to every single one of them. But I guess that writing is therapeutic.
And in the event of a rejection, I will be crushed. I will try my best to stay positive but I know that it will be a huge disappointment. And I know I will feel stupid about myself for having even dreamt of how life could be after an acceptance. 
When I am faced with uncertainty, I keep saying these words to myself : ‘Trust the universe’. That is what I will do because this attitude has helped me in surprising ways in my life.


Just try to be the best version of yourself

Remember that everyone that got in, every current resident and practicing physician, everyone encountered obstacles.
That is also true for plumbers, janitors, lawyers, cashiers and engineers.
It is part of life.

Don't try to become a better doctor thinking it will make you a better person.
Do your best, be the best version of yourself regardless of medical school.
THAT will make you a better doctor.

Good luck to all ! :)



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