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apache

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Everything posted by apache

  1. blue green with brown black or purple/red/green random dyed hair sexiest personality trait to u?
  2. dude, you can't do a straight bet, you need like 3 or 4 to one payout if brah wins and you take him you should get 400. it's like being able to take chicago over minnesota straight et in the first round, LOL>
  3. titties... opinion? oversized? or very elastic, resisting sag... isn't zero enjoyment <dcup?
  4. i always gravitated towards goal personally, since i have an astute kinesthetic awareness of my body, but an inability to process the big picture... so to me hockey is inter-personally a team game, but it comes down to stopping a puck to me funny fact, vokoun had the best save percentage over a six year span over 360 games, when he was in florida, who were defensively abysmal in my mind most under-rated goalie in the league, and def step up from fleury, who looked like a pee-wee goalie against philly last year... i think rask has an advantage in playing behind a solid defense. honestly, the same can be said for LA in terms of goaltending, quick is insane, he's by far the fastest lateral moving goalie i've ever seen and he has freaky fast reflexes... but chicago is scary, first team i've seen that can legitimately enjoy track meet style hockey, la has to make it ugly, pound chicago hard, forecheck, and hope quick continues to be the best goalie in the nhl... the key for la will be limiting second chances... only way to beat quick is on second and third chances... ppl talk about pittsburgh's offense, but did you see how chicago just made minne look like kids on the ice, and i think didn't realize it was even the playoffs first half of the detroit series... to me, LA depends on quick, all their loses have been 2-1 on the road... that's scary goaltending. i'm calling a boston/la final tbh i can't stand b-ball, LOL, so boring, fowl this, fowl that, and indiana showing up.... maybe there's more team in b-ball than we think? what's your fave sport? rask and quick... plus chara, really cement that to me, unless boston's half ahl defense breaks down eventually
  5. current one would be criminal minds by far, the show is ****ing sick, the character development and breadth is as deep as ive seen in a long time, as long as you can suspend belief about luxury planes and and ppl like spencer reid working for the fbi, when in reality id imagine the guy getting bored as **** doing the same thing over and over again, perception is probably second... of off air shows, house is a close second... third would prob be breaking bad... i guess i enjoy shows about misanthrope realistic projections of people who are uber intense and contra popular perception of people who work in traditional roles we ascribe with average psychometric traits across the board, it seems to me that people in these various lines of work usually tend to be rather off the wall in personality traits as well as in capability both intellectual and creatively, it also shows how being at the very edge of what people see is often not as glamorous as youd think, but rather boring to an extent, house exemplifies this to a tee, people think the guys attention seeking, but in reality it's just everything get's really boring, and in reality many of the pathological symptoms others see in him are just because of the fact that it's hard to imagine living in that kind of brain, so we extrapolate our own phenomenology to interpreting the behavior, and declare it a mystery or even psychopathic... but if you inherently are exposed to extreme situations and have an insanely high propensity for stimulation your learn quite rapidly and have a snowball effect, you also either have to be fake or a total *******, because it's impossible to resonate with other peoples worries, find things people find difficult to be rather straightforward... since things that give most people anxiety, and inhibit the desire to take on extreme situations, or force yourself into situations which push you to most extremes, are paradoxically stimulating enough to get your full attention, so unless you develop an extreme ability to describe your phenomenology, you're are perceived as pathological, misanthropic, arrogant, as showing signs of depression or mental illness hence you seek out more and more extreme avenues of stimulation, and the extreme just becomes mundane, ditto with ppl like reid, it sounds exciting to be able to cite minutia, remeber everything, process huge amounts of info, except in reality you'd really like to have someone explain things to you for a few hours, rather than being this encyclopedic ****, who never seems to get nervous, overwhelmed... more globally it really paints an in depth picture of what people consider extreme, and shows it really phenomenelogically is very similar to the average person, and even ion interviewing attempted murderers, murders, pedophiles etc. there's an initial shock to how normal their reality is. I find in a way it challenges us all to think about how similar we all are, as well as to think about how different even our fundamental perceptual processes are, like i often hate being somewhat encyclopedic, even though i can talk about hockey salaries, stats etc. and mostly everything so have no problem interacting with almost anyone, since academically inclined doesn't necessarily imply an enjoyment of academia. Finally all show how situational variable and personality can really play the majority of a role in what a person does, gradual habituation, openness to experience, poor d2 binding all of this... like i remember music cutting in out in first year university and having this performance thingy turn to improv for 15 min in front of 300 people, and i can't explain it, but i don't really feel nervous, i almost need that level of pressure just so i don't get bored, so in a way, it paints an image of dialectical extremes and shows viewers, in all of these shows, that were all alike underneath the behavioral sequelae we choose to interpret using our experiential desires, experience etc. when interpolating the phenomenelogical experience producing such behaviour, this exponentiates in group situations and in a greater society, when everyone extrapolates internal states as such multivariate pressures on behaviour from group dynamics really make aberrant behavior a mystery... same reason we idolize celebreties, rock stars etc. because on tv we see them perform... it's always funny when i rail off the intricate life stories of a number of actors, scientists, geniuses, musicians, it's always very human and very sinusoidal in terms of progress... i guess that's why i appreciate solid character development... instead of people saying wow, they must be super different, i could never do that, it shows how much we all share the same underlying experience as well as how extreme differences may seem abnormal or amazing to someone who is extremely disparate, but in reality, that's just reality to that person, so it really opens us to being open to listening to everyone rather than judging superfluously informative behavior when trying to interpolate internal mental states... reid from criminal minds was bullied extremely, is socially awkward, has a schizophrenic mother, and his cognitive abilities to him are normal, yet paradoxically he can't get a date and has normal hobbies... and in a way this can really paint a picture of how perceived aberations in behavior can really reveal normal commonplace experiential experience, and furthermore lead us to try and understand how experiential similarities allow us to interpret people we perceive as different or ill, because underneath it all, despite different brain processes we all share a similar human experience... like my brains always on over drive, i follow 5 things at a time easier than 1, need extreme situations to feel stimulated to a level of functioning, as in i can write a 5 page essay, speak in front of 500 people, far far easier than doing my laundry, which i have to multi-task with 5 other things just to handle... sounds weird, but to me, it's my reality, just like i can't understand how some people can do math and mathematicians can't understand how i can explain the epistemological consequences of their theorems, it's like minutia drives me crazy, yet when i see big picture complex systems and can explain them, people ask me how i can do it, in reality weird isn't a normative valuative word in my mind, but really a statistical abberation, and i find these shows paint a human picture on that... like i don't feel fear mentally, failure to me prompts a visceral, not a sort of philosphical almost ocd drive to try again... i dont understand how people get down when they fail, i feel a compulsive visceral urge to keep trying, it literally bothers me to stop, even for mundane tasks... i also can't do a single job at a time, i'd go nuts, i need a few projects to make sure i have optimal attention for each... to me this is just normal... and often say on this board it comes off as arrogant, when in reality, it's just a different basic experience... i also feel hyper-empathy, so i can't personally understand superficial motivation based on title, finance etc., although learning to listen to others, and being so non-judgmental as to elicit innumerable people willing to be completely transparent really helps your frame abstract conceptualizations, and in turn, result in extreme non judgements, or an inability to blame the person, rather than extremely complex circumstances resulting in the behavior which bothers or annoys me lol, just like i can write this in about 15 minutes, i don't know why i think so fast when i can hyperfocus on interesting topics, or pay attention for literally 12 hours when im doing something interesting, medication free... or why i can sit down in a reclined position for more than ten minutes, and often work half sitting or standing at my desk, i also don't understand how other people sit for so long... but i looked up the molecular cascade for restless leg and found 3 different receptor phenotypes which have down cascade effects on enkephelins, so i explain that... people aren't bothered by my constant standing, and you can develop a mutual understanding... in the end i think the shows are a tool to understand each other rather than judge each other in order to create in and out groups which allow us to form bonds by othering people... in other words, foster understanding of each other which reduces xenophobia and cruelty... which is 95 percent of my motivation, as it is extrapolatorily for others, like many type a people want titles, money, to have free time, to feel important, ahve a healthy self esteem, and feel appreciated and loved, but often we confuse the means as an ends, and those who feel they have to defend those means, often internalize them in order to create a defense mechanism against criticism, since we often have trouble accepting what in formal logic are seemingly disparate traits... like why can't someone give a **** about people and like money, why can't a professor enjoy cocaine and be the best at what he does... i don't enjoy drinking, but i don't judge those who do, i dimply like stimulation, and control of myself and my environment, whereas other people who perhaps feel more like they want to escape inhibitions, resulting from anxiety or social learning, neither of which are implicit to my worldview, as a result of probability and chance, not internal control, would seem to enjoy those... paradoxically looking at things in shades of grey doesn't lead to confusion, but rather clarity, especially when approached with a sense of open-mindness, and lack of belief in right or wrong in a normative sense, but rather a consequence we find impalitable. in addition i find shows encourage us not to think of emotionally prompted resolutions, but resolutions which help us achieve an optimimum state of understanding, happiness, understanding, etc. and often am frustrated that my complex approach to things is perceived as over-complicating, mental masturbation, or a form of compensatory narcissism, since the ends are a greater human understanding, a more positive society, and a more cohesive society... i actually hear this from my dad when i visit, you go out and proove things to the world, and im like you don't get it do you, i get called freaky smart everyday and hate it, because it allows people to believe people who do things they love are born with that capacity, because of the lack of transparency we have, mostly born out of fear of social judgement, via extrapolating normal from social behavior, which is grossly misleading, and exponentially effects everyone, when the effects have a mulch-dimensional cascading effect, which multiplies at every person, until what is socially normal is grossly disparate from internal norms, causing widespread psychological problems. i love the notion that following your dreams is stupid, and that only the lucky, freakishly talented, or weird do so. Even ADHD or aspergers are both socially constructed disabilities, extreme creative thinking, low latent inhibition to auditory stimuli, need for extreme stimulation, need for kinesthetic activity (running an hour a day) extreme hyperfocus on challenging interesting personally relevant things, delayed sleep cycle... seem like the seed of innovation, creativity, paradigm change, good physical health, entrepreneurship, multi-modal approaches, rather than extreme technical subspecialization you see in kuhn's normal science, which serves to solve small problems until annomalies kick in and you need an original multidisciplinary obsessive person to insight paradigm shifts... i know about 15 highly successful ppl with adhd, an er doc, a sales manager, 3 salesperson on commission, 3 people who run their own business, a psychiatrist... essentially, no 9-5, different stuff everyday, no arcane rigid rules... like, musician married to a lawyer... hmmm 8 am, delayed onset sleep disorder... **** that... im uber intellectual, yet i always loved er, and wouldnt mind doing 9 pm to 5 am everyday, it's like to me chaos and an extreme ammount of stimulation brings paradoxical clarity, despite lacking extreme nebulosity and hence big picture thinking... neuro and psych are more kinetically mundane, but i love the extreme complexity... if i ever did something where i didn't have extreme complexity, or extremely multi-modal stimulation, pressure, i'd paradoxically be unable to focus and do way worse, despite the simple solution of following the clinical algorithm... the open nature to creating a solution, and extreme challenge is uber necessary for me to focus... ditto with the disparities in character of all these shows... it's not so much any sort of pathology for any of these people, but rather a societally adaptive pathology in trying to fit them into the 2 standard deviation norm... so i can't sit in a desk, huge disadvantage.. i get bored doing mundane things... not in a showy way, i actually zone out, so in a way, people who think im lucky to be able to to not get nervous in front of a huge crowd, or to be able to handle abstraction don't realize how much of a disadvantage you also have, i can do complex accounting law way easier than crunching numbers all day... im so gregarious it's sick, but i get bored of people really easily, i can't help it... so in a way, i find i can resonate with these characters a lot, and often have to be defensive of my extreme interest in complexity... sure i need to see extreme complexity, but i also have the humility to know when things become so complex that no one can consolidate the kind of information one needs to answer a question, something people who enjoy the black and white and who criticize me for delving to deep into things miss. it's annoying that constructive criticism is perceived as a threat by people who enjoy simple approaches because unlike them, i know the minutia and big picture, and i can admit that any assertion would be explanatory... and my biggest frustration is in those who are sure, because having a need and a brain which processes huge ammounts of info and deals with complexity far better than simple problems which cause me to jut zone out... i see how simple works, as well as complexity, i also see when people who say i overkill things and use a simple approach to complex problems are wrong, because they, not as a result of either of us being better, rather different, assert that they are certain, when i often, as a result of necessity, have exponentially more information, and am never certain, i only look at probabilities... yet societal framing of extreme depth and breadth of knowledge is seen as superceding the simple, and as a result, offering an ability to approach either with similar skill... ummm, yeah no, i can not do say family medicine as well as i can see abstract answers to what most see as extremely nebulous and complex.... so in reality none is better... we're all just suited to different things, and i resent the pathological attribution to statistically uncommon states of mind... like other dude said i'm manic, mentally ill, whatever, because someone perceived my extreme ambition using their own internal state and stated all i want is a family etc. and presumed i was disparaging that worldview... in reality, i can't help that im bored with that, i just wish (musclebrah or something) would stop prolesthethyzing valuative assertations and presumptive understanding of others motivations. clearly, we misunderstand that we're internally very different, and make attribution errors, which only causes unhappiness, social isolation and depression. if only we promoted a more open dialogogue with each other, we'd understand that we all have different states, and that it takes everyone to make a village. so what if i'm smarter than most people, it's because of an inane desire for extreme stimulation i can't help, as well as a hyper-empathy i can't help. it's like i don't understand the whole title and respect thing, because the primary thing that motivates me is extreme empathy, i also talk to a lot of introverts, and realize they enjoy their internal space, whereas i need inane social interaction just to keep stimulated. people don't understand stimulants either... obviously their abusive, but phenomenelogically, they help me be boring so to speak, i can do one thing at a time, in a way, i need extreme stimulation just to slow my brain down, they actually make me feel really calm, less energetic, and able to do one thing at a time, which is sometimes a disadvantage... truth be told, i study way better not on adderall than i do on it... weird eh? to me adderall helps me not forget mundane things, i remember getting a government interview once after i forgot to send my cv, just a cover letter... seriously... so i have a graphically designed cv, it's amazing, yet minutia like clicking attach i miss. so looking at these shows, i'd ask if they really exemplify difference, or human similarity, because i'm sometimes envious of people who can process the mundane... i love how people dream of performing music on stage, yet are nervous, and envy those who aren't i envy not feeling bored after two minutes doing my taxes, and rarely find extreme stimulation anxiogenic, rather more the base stimulation to focus... so in a way, are disabilities, abberations, really so, and are envious traits in isolation of traits those people are envious of no without deficits most people take for granted, creating many of the same human problems, dilemma's and experiences we all experience? in other words, if we sought to understand each other, would these shows make more sense in revealing the underlying similarities of human experience, rather than the extremes?
  6. it was ok, honestly biggest pet peeve is that u dont get a lunch break or more than ten minutes between sections, what if ur hungry... or have to pee... lol, i know im not alone on that one did boston kicking pittsburghs ass 3-0 shock anyone.... man, blew me away...
  7. mmmm, pretty much just text instead of fb chat, and go to libraries to read articles... anyone else?
  8. ut's pretty good what would have happened if the leafs went to round 2?
  9. of course he'll do better on the vr too... he's an autodidact (no mr. brah, that is not a bird)
  10. everyone, astronomical tangental-thinking-there oh man, i'd get in too much trouble if i ever pondered being ped doc... like i'd start playing with them, and forget i had a job... i guess i always found ther sombre how ya doin thing to be a slittle short when you have a kiddo who's really sick
  11. forgotten, overwhelming reasons, go on, there, then? enjoy free (this poem is a labyrinth, with no particularly beauty, not that there is none of it to speak, however, it's complexities, rules, truths, dig more deeply as you follow the trail, until you lose sigh of what the escape is, and believe it an ends to a never ending means, constantly encircling each other, slowly intoxicating and blinding, insidiously, habits such a terrible thing? eventually you'll forget why you even came in)
  12. you easily attain relief, newly invoked naivete, giddy go intrepidly, dare design yourself you'll open unquestionably, relieved senses evoke love forgotten
  13. yet in earths lesson plan, dogmatic slavery sounds like a voracity, endlessly repeating yawns your always wishing: nicer stories? surrogates to old, respected ideology, ends-lost? starting? sewing threads, and rarely the intention noticed, grudgingly get round - up! duh - good - interconnectedness - never-far, glowing lights yearned yeah, eyes, a reminder, neglecting every decadence dancing everywhere, can almost deceive, evasive, neglected, counter everything ,ends, vicarious replacements yell, there... happy? interestingly, never-ending gleans gain legitimacy, ends are now, side-tracks sorta insidious, didn't even think? read away, cause knowledge sways swimming, water arises, you slowly see love, opaque, washed life yearns yells, eager, as reading, narrows slowly so long, onerous, wonders lived yesterday yes, everything seen, tautologies, endlessly reorienting, dizzying augment yesterday yesterday evoked single-lined, silly, top-lined, eye, really, distraction, afterwards, yesterday yet ever silent, thought escaped. relearn fragmented, anew, yearning
  14. effervescently, echoing lovely sonnets... superficially, obtuse; naked naive eyes, tell stories sometimes, the obvious reinterpretation, is evasive, surreptitious so unbelieve, rocklike rigidty, evades pressure torrential... inhibiting thoughts, inhibiting our souls so ones understanding limits sight satirical, ironic... groups harmlessly think together has individuals, naturally, kaleidoscopes kites and lastly, eyes intertwined, dancing, offer, some clarity, one partners everyone, souls slowly open, unifying, look see! songbirds eyes endlessly avowed not distance, lived experience, standing staring, loving... yearningly yellingly eagerly, (apathetic/algorithmic/altruistic)?-(reciprocity)? needlessly inquiring, naivetes: guided learning yields
  15. well, it's hard to say unless you know specialty very well, so while you may be interested in something, it's hard to give "averages"... how creative are you, do you research background, can you run clinical trials, do any legal work... if your specialty allows, as in can you, are you creative... interested in lobbying for something you believe in (you have to be inanely good, tho, far greater breadth than just medicine) every lobby pays well, cause moneys on the line on each side... i remember a coffee i had with a prof, how to make money in clinical psychology... yeah, do neuropsych, and you can clean 700 k... but read enough for a law degree as hobby, get an insane foundation in medicine, learn eeg's, physiology, pharmacology, like down to minutia, as in i can talk about various substitutions in functional groups on diff meds in the same class (i know the synthesis of simpler things too - it's fun. if you know say mogoblemide works for endogenous cause of atypical depression, and why, the phenomenology, because inattentive add, endogenous depression, depersonalization following ptsd look alike... as well as the fact you see il-1, il-6, cortisol, go down, less high beta wave activity, testosterone go up, catecholamine (ep) levels go down.... you simple run urinary catchol, cortisol, dextrmeth supress test, ctrh, crh. prior, since all 5 are hallmark ptsd (depersonalization has a ton of causes biologically)... and you can delineate whether the poor attention, cognitive factors are do say an accident, fundamentally changing attention span etc... (easy to see on qeeg) ascertaining ptsd, is rather easy, ditto endogenous depression, typical eeg presentation (tons of alpha waves dominate), a second iq test post treatments would still show a discrepency between verbal and written compreh neuropsych assessment, if adhd, ptsd and endog depression should respond... differentiate with further urine tests, blood tests to see if initially suspected ptsd has tuned down biologically... in addition, psychosocial assessment... functional rehab, psychosocial rehab... a profile like this for a legal case is worth, lets say a lot ... of course, that's inane for most neuropsychs, but show, if you're creative, have no structure set in stone, then you can make whatever also, place of work makes a huge diff, i see some add cmaj for fam docs in like northern prairies... ****, 450++... could you like there? some people like it, do you employ others... do you do private work... i was gonna refer you cmaj online, but you dont have a id number and password... but if you go to your right, youll se JOBS, as well as classifieds http://www.cmaj.ca/content/current don't you love the interweb???
  16. read about the five factor model, goldberg... 4.0's correlate with high consciencousness scores on factor analysis, which means, compulsive rote memorization... openess to experience... yeah, correlates with thinking on your feet, deep analysis, being able approach new problems... often talented students do worse because of interest in subject matter... meaning they possess a greater depth of understanding, transferable analytical ability across various disciplines, as well as non exam performance to novel problems... so yeah, just a thought...
  17. i just get checks now, since i don't have a normal job my family assumes i'm starving, entrepreneurship for the win... honestly if you don't really know what the person would want just do the obvious, if their a ski buff get them the banff 3 pack or something, it's a can't lose... money is always a can't lose with me, lol are you competitive (even with yourself (the point where your so far ahead you push to be par excellence - think tiger woods rebuilding his swing forn ****s and giggles because winning became too easy))
  18. power ranger... black ranger for sure so for all the Toronto peeps... Deadmau5 or Billy Talent... saw prior live recently, just saw latter via torrent, personally, both good shows... preference?
  19. engineering people often get post grad management training on the fly... i could literally run for mp in a conservative riding, win, and get a cabinet spot, lol, our mla for education is a moron, i'd love to take his job, yeah, lucky i'm preoccupied trying to buy myself financial freedom after rbc blew my shot at 1.6 million after ****ing up the paperwork... lol, imagine medigeeks reaction, yeah, id care, but ill make more than that in life
  20. lol, barrister eh, oh, barista... yeah no, in the end the science grads will always be the humanities grads *****es, because who defines the policy the krebs cycle can't understand, that's what i thought... balance is best
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