throwaway756 reacted to W0lfgang in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Good luck OP!
throwaway756 reacted to NLengr in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
This profession is nothing if not full of idiots and bullies.
Fuck em, although I expect the people from your middle school years have probably matured a bit since then.
throwaway756 reacted to Bluecolorisnice in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Good luck OP. You are strong, powerful, resourceful and amazing. Anyone that tries to put you down or acts in a way to demean you w/ bullying lacks basic human decency and are not worthy of your time/attention. Seek out mentors and make friends who will be a positive influence and motivate you to reach your potential. Most schools have counsellors and if you do experience harassment or intimidation, please reach out to them. Best of luck with your medical school journey!
throwaway756 reacted to Bambi in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
You control your love, never surrender your autonomy, free will, power, destiny to others, all the more so to enemies of your best interests! Live a full life in every dimension, don’t let others get into your head and get in your way. Stay motivated, work hard and smart and create your own destiny.
I remember in elementary school, most of my classmates discriminated against me. It never bothered me, on the contrary, not only did it make me stronger but I have ever since gone out of my way to fight for the underdog. I was comfortable always in my own skin, was always the ugly duckling in the sense that learning anything always took me much longer than my peers, but I ended up as a swan. Do your thing and don’t ever let others stand in your way, certainly not those who don’t appreciate you and your value. It’s their loss.
throwaway756 reacted to premed_67 in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Just want to say how awesome it is that you have risen above your past negative experiences! You’ve succeeded in getting into medical school. I think this shows that you have great interpersonal skills. Don’t decline an offer based on past experiences. Best of luck with medical school, I’m sure you’ll be great!
throwaway756 got a reaction from Butterfly_ in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Thank you all for the outpour of support and encouragement! It truly means the world to me.
To be quite honest, I already feel much better after reading all of your comments. I agree with what each of you had to say. If I were to decline the offer over this reason, all my hard work and efforts would go to waste. I certainly don't want others to be influencing my important life decisions and I don't want others to be preventing me from achieving my goals.
I am really really hoping that it won't be as bad as I am thinking. Even just having one or two close friends in the class would be more than enough for me, to be honest. If the worst case scenario comes to be true, I'll have my friends outside of medical school and I'm really hoping that will be enough to get me through the 4 years.
The forum community is really just the best. Thank you all again for the wonderful advice and words of encouragement! I am already feeling more motivated Fingers crossed for a good 4 years!
throwaway756 reacted to GrouchoMarx in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Once a sociopath always a sociopath.
Just do better than them in school and in your career.
throwaway756 reacted to ArchEnemy in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
I think Lactic Folly really nailed it in this sentence. People do develop moral conscience as they mature.
There is also a lot more on the line now that these "bullies" are in medical school. I attended U of T, where the faculty has instituted a safe avenue of reporting critical incidents such as bullying. More information can be obtained here https://md.calendar.utoronto.ca/student-professionalism
If found guilty, these "bullies" will receive professionalism lapses that will affect their chances of applying to residency during CaRMS.
throwaway756 reacted to ploughboy in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Living well is the best revenge.
throwaway756 reacted to starryskies in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Signed in again after a long time to post. You are certainly not immature. And you are not alone in this situation. I also was in a similar position when I got accepted where someone who was involved in bullying me during my junior high school years was in the same class. And while the thought of them being there was really scary at first, I learned that they had matured over the years and in the end it wasn’t an issue at all.
You deserve to be there! You have worked hard and don’t let what other people have done tarnish that.
I would just echo what everyone else here is saying, just go in and be yourself. Work hard, and don’t take mind of anyone else. Find people who you enjoy being with and hang out with them. There’s still cliques and bullies in medical school but you don’t have to deal with them.
You’re going to be a great doctor because you’ve worked so hard to get here, and you’re empathetic as well! So congratulations, you definitely deserve this and go for it because this is your dream and you are going to be amazing!
throwaway756 reacted to Butterfly_ in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Totally agree. Don't let other people stop you from doing what you want to do. Accept your offer and be the best that you can be.
throwaway756 reacted to #YOLO in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
f@#k them. do u. focus, do well in med school, and become the doctor you want. there are lots of bullys in this profession. but just focus on urself and ignore all the idiots.
throwaway756 reacted to mononoke in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Hi OP, it's good that you posted this because I was in a similar situation when I started medical school and found out someone who had bullied me in elementary and junior high school would be in the same class.
As Lactic Folly has said, don't decline your offer - you worked hard for it, go to class and channel your experience into being a better, more relatable doctor. You will see lots of patients on peds, psych, and family med who experience lots of bullying themselves.
Even if the class is small, for the most part people are friendly and you will find your own group. The medical programs tend to take harassment from peers seriously and because of the fear of getting a 'red flag', students tend to be outwardly professional for the most part.
People mature, and so have you - let go of the past and focus not on what others think of you but on how you can be the better person.
throwaway756 reacted to Lactic Folly in Extremely embarrassed to be asking this question but would really appreciate the advice
Hi - although your distressing past experiences have left an impact on you, you have evidently had the strength to move on and make a fresh start, developing satisfying interpersonal relationships and succeeding in gaining admission to medical school. You should be commended on rising above your previous experiences and living well as a way of overcoming the actions of those who tried to put you down. If you let them hold you back now, it would negate the gains you have made, effectively letting them 'win.'
You may be surprised - people may develop more moral conscience as they mature, and could regret their previous actions. However, even if they don't, you don't need your classmates to successfully get through medical school. Interacting with people going through the same experiences as you is not necessarily a blessing, as it can also mean competition. Most schools will have student advisors and students from upper years to provide guidance. For emotional support, you have your family and friends outside medical school.
Don't worry about socializing in medical school - your goal is to become a doctor, so just pass your exams in pre-clerkship and conduct yourself professionally throughout your clerkship rotations. Maintain a polite distance from your former classmates and if anyone instigates trouble, they can be held accountable for lapses in professionalism. However, hopefully nothing of the sort will happen, as again the teen/early adult years are a period of maturation, and if nothing else, people at this stage should be more reluctant to be involved in anything that could harm their careers. There will be other students in your medical school class, and hopefully you can find a like-minded individual or individuals, but if not, it is not a big deal. The four years are busy and will be over before you know it, and then you can make a fresh start in residency.