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I'm really troubled by your posting history - I think other posters have mentioned similar things on other threads. I really hope you are getting professional help ("apart of the process" sounds like you are?). Sometimes, it takes a few different therapists or counselors to find the one who's a right match for you and will help you on the long road of getting better. Even then though, it often has to get worse (e.g. breakdowns) before it gets better, so if you are getting professional help, feel like you have a good relationship with your counselor/therapist, and find yourself having breakdowns, keep going to therapy. Tell your counselor, work with them and it will get better.

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20 minutes ago, Recusitatorwannabe said:

Or if having breakdowns is just apart of the process. 

I think most premeds at some point do feel anxious or overwhelmed by this process, I know I certainly do. However I think at some point we all need to recognize if we have crossed a line from pushing our selves to reach our goals to letting that goal become all consuming. Through the last couple of years as I have started to look for opportunities that I'm passionate about I've really come through a point where I feel so proud of where this journey has taken me - regardless of an acceptance. I tell you this because as I read through some of your previous posts it sounds like you are a little lost right now. I have found a small bit of calmness in this crazy ride trying to get accepted knowing that I feel as though I have grown tremendously from my extracurricular activities and that has really helped ground me. My advice would be to understand why you are doing all this work. "To get into medical school" is a huge goal and can feel a long ways away. I prefer to think of the immediate effects I'm having on both my life and the lives of others through my work. 


I also want to add that seeking professional counselling can really help in times like this, even if you only go for a few sessions. While I never saw a counselor because I was feeling suicidal, there were certainly times throughout my undergrad where I felt completely out of control of my life and extremely overwhelmed. I spoke with a school counselor a few times and she really helped me by guiding me through ways to manage my stress and also putting the situation into perspective. 

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I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life. For me, learning to take better care of myself, learning to sleep better, eat better, exercise, and to be realistic about my abilities and my expectations has really helped me generally to improve my baseline mood. I’ve also sought help from counsellors and doctors for treatment and tried many different thing over the years that have progressively helped me improve. I still have bad days and have stressful weeks in medical school, but I would say that i’ve overcome it to the point where it’s well-controlled. 

I definitely find that the better my mood and the better I take care of myself, the better I am able to perform. When I am in a low, I feel like my brain doesn’t even work properly, and it’s extremely hard to learn or be productive. It made several years of school really hard before I started to sort things out. Things are pretty good now, but I find it’s something I am continuously working on.

Stress is a normal part of the process. But being miserable and feeling like you’re breaking apart under that stress isn’t good. It’s worth asking for help. 

Find someone you trust to talk to and maybe try reaching out for help in a few different ways. Counselling and cognitive behaviour therapy can be really helpful. You could also talk to your doctor about being assessed for depression or mood issues and possible treatments. 

Feel free to PM me if you’d like to chat in more detail about it

Edited by frenchpress
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I struggled with pretty bad depression and a little anxiety starting in Gr 8 and persisting through university. I got counselling for the depression around Gr 9 and went back again for anxiety in second year of undergrad when O-chem gave me panic attacks. I was lucky to have a really good relationship with my counsel or and it helped enormously both times.

I will admit that counseling isn’t a cure. First year of Med school made my anxiety return to some extent (it was weird - I rationally and emotionally felt fine, but had resurgence of a benign arrhythmia and cancre sores that I get when stressed), but I still felt much better equipped to cope with it.

One day, you’ll learn in med school that a strong therapeutic relationship with your counsel or is the most powerful predictor of whether or not therapy will have a positive outcome, so don’t be afraid to try a couple different counselors until you find one who ‘clicks’.

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