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How do you deal with a bad break up?


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April has been...hell...for me.

Initially, I was just dealing with obsessing over a terrible med interview and finishing up a bunch of assignments for my program. But recently, my bf and I broke up. We were together for almost 7 years and it happened so abruptly. What's worse is I just found out that he's dating already (within like...10 days of the breakup). It just...feels like such a slap in the face. I don't know what to do. I have so much due in the final 10 days of April and just lost the little motivation I had. 

Does anyone have any advice/tips on how to handle a bad breakup, especially when you have a lot on your plate? Sorry if this is a bit weird. I don't feel like talking to friends about this right now and I've been spending so much time on this forum, I couldn't think of a better place to post.

Thanks in advance.

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Realize that there isn't a single thing you can do to make the pain go away after a 7 year relationship, but things will get better with time. Today will be more difficult than tomorrow, and eventually you will have enough going on where your current predicament will be posteriorized because other things will have priority. But after a 7 year relationship, this is something that will always have special meaning for you, and I don't think you can change that unless you're a sociopath. 

Actually, having a lot on your plate is an advantage because you can focus on your responsibilities instead of dwelling on the past. So the best thing for you is to keep on keeping on, and things will get better with time :)

 

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If possible, try to take a little time for yourself to do something you enjoy and connect with friends and/or family, without going into all the details of what's happened.  There may be a short-term emotional gap in your life, given your long relationship history, but enjoying life without your ex is an important step to moving forward.

It's not easy to just put things behind you, but you are your own biggest priority right now and keeping busy will help you stay focused.  With time, you'll be able to work through the rest of your emotions and eventually everything will fade into a memory.  Try not to go over things too much, but instead move ahead with all your plans including med school.  

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Seriously I've been thought a break up during two semester and it was awful. I failed and got bad grades. So i learned from it. You'll get stronger with believe me. Don't ever forget why you're doing all this. This is for you. Pain is temporary don't worry. I always think about those moments in my room : impossible to study , had too much emotions going all over my head. Now,  everything is good :) i corrected the grades that i had wrong and made new friends. Take time for yourself : find yourself. Going out with person may not help you  if you're not ready. Take it easy let people know that you're not in mood. Do sport. Subscribe in a sport team or wtv. Change you're routine. Last recommandation : STAY AWAY FROM SOCIAL NETWORK ! 

I hope sharing my experience will help you understand that you're not alone facing hard times ! 

 

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I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a difficult time.

I can’t imagine your pain right now, but remember one thing: this moment will pass. Nothing is forever and your emotions are temporal. You will feel better eventually. 

If you can, try to channel your negative energy into your school and work. 

Then when you have more time on your hands, try to distract yourself with things that make you happy. Do talk to your friends and family for support. Focus on improving yourself and treating yourself well. Go to the spa or on a short trip. Do things that cheer you up. 

Take care.

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Thank you, everyone, for your warm wishes and advice. 

I realize its a little pathetic to be complaining about this on this forum but I just needed to share with someone. I really appreciate all of your support. I'll do my best to focus on the important things and will pray April end comes sooner rather than later. 

<3

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Not pathetic, on the contrary, normal, many of us have gone through this pain. And come out thriving on the other side. :P The key is not to allow this serious disruption of your life to dislocate your life for the future by ignoring important matters and letting things slip that will cause you even more difficulty in the future. 

 

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  • 3 months later...
On 4/20/2019 at 3:32 PM, hiyayosup said:

Thank you, everyone, for your warm wishes and advice. 

I realize its a little pathetic to be complaining about this on this forum but I just needed to share with someone. I really appreciate all of your support. I'll do my best to focus on the important things and will pray April end comes sooner rather than later. 

<3

I wouldn't call it complaining and I wouldn't consider it pathetic. Sometimes what someone needs is simply some catharsis, and just to let out their emotions and vent a bit. I think it's the first and most difficult step to healing. 

Also kinda lame, but I like to watch sad movies (with a close friend maybe) after a breakup and have a good cry. It helps for me. 

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