Rejected/waitlisted after 5 interviews and it feels bad

[sadReject]

Hey everyone. Not sure what I'm looking for by coming here but partly wanted to vent/see if anyone else is in the same spot. 

I worked hard throughout my undergrad, applied in 3rd year, interviewed at Ottawa, didn't get in. Okay! No worries! This is normal after 3rd year! Interviewing was great practice, I was nervous, I can see why I didn't make it. Rewrote my MCAT to improve CARS. Applied in 4th year. I got interviews everywhere in Ontario (except NOSM, I didn't apply there). I practiced with friends, I practiced through school counsellors, I even tried watching myself answer questions on video so that I could try to work on how I come across (our school provides a program to do that for free). No significant negative feedback from anyone - some minor stuff like speaking more slowly (which is also why I decided to watch myself on video) and some questions where I felt like I wanted to discuss other answers with my friends, did, and came to better-reasoned conclusions. After interviews, I felt like I presented myself well. Of course it wasn't perfect. I got really sick right before one of my interviews which was really challenging and at one school, I completely expected to be rejected because I really stumbled through when they asked a really basic question. other interviews were fairly unremarkable, I felt like I really connected at 2 of the schools so that was nice. But of course the process can't be perfect, people kept telling me that they also felt bad about their interviews/I was probably being over-critical of myself with the other interviews and even if I wasn't, I'd get in somewhere.

I didn't. I got waitlisted at 3 schools, including the 2 schools that I expected to be rejected at, and I was straight-up rejected at 2 schools, including my dream school. Of the waitlists, I have little hope because I'm on the normal/bad waitlists for 2 schools which really isn't likely to go that far. I feel even worse because everyone kept emphasizing how your odds are so high after interviews, especially considering waitlist motion and how many interviews/chances I had. It makes things all the more embarrassing to have to say, "No, I didn't get in."

Now I'm just here thinking about what to do. I just feel so discouraged. It feels different than just not getting an interview - when this many schools consistently choose that I shouldn't become a medical student, maybe there's something to it. I was honest with them, I tried to show my personality and why I'd be a good fit and their choices were unanimous. Maybe there's something about my personality that isn't suited for medicine and I just can't see yet. It feels like a very personal thing and I'm just not even sure what to do. I thought the sting of the news would feel less horrible with time but it hasn't faded and I'm just questioning if I should even bother to reapply. How do I get past thinking the admissions committees saw something in me they didn't want in a med student? What if they're right and I'm a bad fit? What's the point of all this if I've now had 6 panels decide they wouldn't want me, despite great odds towards getting in at that point?

[shawnofthejungle]

Hey, made an account to respond as I am in the same situation as you! Interviewed at 5 canadian schools this cycle and didn't get one acceptance, but was waitlisted at two. Honestly, what you wrote is an exact reflection of how i've felt the last week, the rejection feels very personal and I have so much self-doubt. Talking to other people, I think a more productive view is that you are very close to an acceptance and have a very clear aspect of our applications to work on -  the interview. If 3 schools have waitlisted you, that means that there isn't "something about your personality that isn't fit for medicine." 3 schools are willing to have you as a student if they have enough space in their class so that clearly isn't the case. Also, your application must be awesome to interview at every ontario school.  Honestly, it feels like absolute shit to be rejected like this. I like you was told I had to get in somewhere cause of how good post-interview odds are and similarly practiced with people and was told I was good / didn't have much to improve. So much about this process is a coin flip - who you interview with, what questions your asked, what you do that could be seen as great by one panel vs only ok by another panel. It feels like a huge failure, but I think it really comes down to a so-so interview skills paired with a lot of bad luck. Sorry I dont' have any useful insight/advice but thought it may make you feel better to know that theres other people in the same boat. 

[DrNan]

Hi, 

I am so sorry to hear that. I felt the agony while reading your post and am truly sorry that you feel this way. I am in the same boat as you. I have been rejected post interview twice however, I only applied to Mcgill medicine. I know the stingy feeling and the doubts we have that maybe medicine isn't for me if so many doors close on you. I have thought this through as well and I know have the potential to be a great doctor however, I noticed a similar pattern in my post interviews. People who I thought didn't have a chance to get in, actually got in and people who I thought were def in, didn't. I reflected on this more since this was a continuous pattern. I  realized that the people who I thought were 100% in were the ones who had a very understanding, kind and genuine personality and these are the qualities that are def needed to be a doctor. however, it seems like the interview process likes people who are cut throat just go go type people, sometimes almost inconsiderate of others feelings and basing everything on facts. I am by no means saying these people who got in went in medicine for the wrong reasons, I'm sure they did but I find after reapplying several times, people do turn cold to this process. it is no longer about doing medicine for humanity but rather doing it for the sake of getting in because you've tried so many times and its a dream career. I actually lost a very close friend of mine in this process who I felt used me to get insiders of the interview process and lied on every occasion when I asked if you are applying to med. I would have helped her for the MMI process myself if I knew she was applying but she was using my constant two years failures to her success and got in!

I myself am questioning if I have to become stone cold person especially because I am am empathetic person and by empathetic I mean, I literally feel others pain and am too selfless. I tend to put others before me on every occasion which makes me think isn't maybe they're looking for. in my opinion thats what a good doctor should do but maybe were supposed to be very factual, less emotionless people. You might have different thoughts on this however, just wanted to give my input; rationalize this daunty process and empathize with you. 

I hope you feel better, if its something you really want, just reapply again so you don't have regrets later in life that you didn't push all the way through. find your weaknesses by looking at the applicants who got in, see what they have which might be a trait you may not possess. For example, I know am not an assertive person, I tend to understand others points a lot and compromise which is something I need to work on. Finally, if it doesn't work out, then maybe it is what it is and just move on! but don't give up too fast, a consensus is to reapply 3-4 times before actually getting in! 

[anonymouspls]

Your performance on a 45 minute interview is not an indication of wheter or not you'll make a good doctor. Interviewing is a skill and like any skill you have to work to improve it. 

 

if you don't get in this year, I would perhaps consider investing in an interview coach. I utilized one for myself this year and was accepted, even though traditionally I would consider myself to be a terrible interviewee. 

[hellogb]

.

[bt30hnr4fd]

Hey,

First of all, I'm really sorry that things didn't turn out that well. I know how it feels to be rejected/waitlisted post-interview, especially when everyone keeps talking about the "good odds" that you have once you have an interview. I am always a PM away if you want to talk or vent or anything.

Regarding your situation, you must be an amazing applicant to have received interviews everywhere in Ontario  ! That definitely means something, that you are on the right path! But the interview process is very difficult, and doesn't necessarily reflect your ability to be a good physician. It must've been difficult to balance all your interviews with school and everything else going on in your life -- as someone who's experienced both having just one interview and having multiple, I know that it can be hard to tailor your preparation to specific schools when your schedule is so packed together! So give yourself a pat on the back -- even though there were no acceptances yet, you still have a chance at 3 schools.

I would recommend that in the next few weeks, you take some time to seriously consider if medicine is what you want to pursue. This might be a quick decision, or it might take some time. But if you come to the conclusion that yes, this is your dream and you want to give it another shot, then go forward with your prep as usual. You're a veteran of the process now; you have years of experience to draw from and you know where to focus your work on. You might think that you've done everything you can for your interview preparation, but trust me, one can ever be completely ready. Think about your life and all the experiences that have led you to applying to medical school, all the struggles you've overcome to get to this point. Talk to your family, friends, physicians about your motivations. Do an honest reflection of what you could improve on and do everything in your power to become a more complete interviewee. And learn to let go -- visualize how you will live your life if medicine doesn't pan out, just in case. I found this really helped me calm my nerves at interviews, and kept me balanced.

This kind of turned into a rant but I hope that some of it helped. I personally interviewed once in third year and was rejected, followed by another interview at the same school in fourth year, which led to a waitlist-turned-rejection. I feel like I was in a similar situation to you then -- I too thought that I had done everything I could the second time around. Somehow, I was able to find strength to re-apply this cycle and finally got in. So I have faith in you. You can do this! Again, don't be afraid to reach out  

 

[sadReject]

Thank you for your kind words, everyone. I'm so grateful - and in part relieved it's not just me. Honestly, it's been really challenging watching everyone around me get in. I'm happy for my friends, I'm happy for my acquaintances, but there's a huge narrative about "having one interview but making it count" or how easy it is once you have an interview/how it just basically guarantees an acceptance as long as you're not a shitty human being with a bad/boring personality. Honestly, I've had so many weird responses to everything that just crush my heart a little bit. Two people laughed when I told them I didn't get in and then told me to tell them the truth. That was awkward. A few other acquaintances told me how they got in and how "Yeah, it's basically impossible to get an interview but once you do you're set, unless you're like, a keener with no personality". I get it. I'm happy for you but man, do I wish you'd stop talking right now. I don't share anything until I'm asked but I'm just so tired of people saying that kind of stuff to my face. I know it's not the truth but it just feels like people are laughing about me and how insanely dumb this is, that I couldn't even get in with so many chances given to me. I'm so, so relieved it's not just me, as ridiculous as that might be. Some part of me was just really questioning if there is something incredibly obvious wrong with me, if it's funny to even try to apply again given that post-interview rejections to this extent aren't the norm, if everyone else is seeing something I've been blind to. 

I couldn't afford an interview coach this year but I guess since I'll be working this year, it'll be an investment in the next year. I've wanted to do medicine for...4 or 5 years now. You guys are right - I have a better read on that than admissions committees do after 1 hour each and this represents a snapshot in time. With luck and practice, maybe things will change. Who knows? Maybe things will even work out this year. I have a shot on two waitlist (for the last school, a better waitlist exists so I doubt it'll go this far). But realistically, any Canadian school is a great school, and two of them would be okay with me, and who knows where things will go in a few weeks. If not this week, then next year. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. 

[RD2BE]

On 5/20/2019 at 11:57 AM, sadReject said:

Thank you for your kind words, everyone. I'm so grateful - and in part relieved it's not just me. Honestly, it's been really challenging watching everyone around me get in. I'm happy for my friends, I'm happy for my acquaintances, but there's a huge narrative about "having one interview but making it count" or how easy it is once you have an interview/how it just basically guarantees an acceptance as long as you're not a shitty human being with a bad/boring personality. Honestly, I've had so many weird responses to everything that just crush my heart a little bit. Two people laughed when I told them I didn't get in and then told me to tell them the truth. That was awkward. A few other acquaintances told me how they got in and how "Yeah, it's basically impossible to get an interview but once you do you're set, unless you're like, a keener with no personality". I get it. I'm happy for you but man, do I wish you'd stop talking right now. I don't share anything until I'm asked but I'm just so tired of people saying that kind of stuff to my face. I know it's not the truth but it just feels like people are laughing about me and how insanely dumb this is, that I couldn't even get in with so many chances given to me. I'm so, so relieved it's not just me, as ridiculous as that might be. Some part of me was just really questioning if there is something incredibly obvious wrong with me, if it's funny to even try to apply again given that post-interview rejections to this extent aren't the norm, if everyone else is seeing something I've been blind to. 

I couldn't afford an interview coach this year but I guess since I'll be working this year, it'll be an investment in the next year. I've wanted to do medicine for...4 or 5 years now. You guys are right - I have a better read on that than admissions committees do after 1 hour each and this represents a snapshot in time. With luck and practice, maybe things will change. Who knows? Maybe things will even work out this year. I have a shot on two waitlist (for the last school, a better waitlist exists so I doubt it'll go this far). But realistically, any Canadian school is a great school, and two of them would be okay with me, and who knows where things will go in a few weeks. If not this week, then next year. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. 

Hey, so a few things:

1) I'm sorry you didn't get in. This process sucks and there's no silver lining. Yes, it's an excellent indicator that you received so many interviews and it's a huge accomplishment that you successfully completed that many interviews! But interviews are not an acceptance so I want to validate what you're feeling and let you know that it's ok to feel sad, mad, depressed, frustrated, like things are unfair, etc. and you don't neeeedddddd to take the approach of: "oh well, at least I received an interview!". 

2) As you know, it takes most people in Canada 3 tries before they get an acceptance. It is very rare to get in on your first or second application cycle. I know you know this, just a friendly reminder

3)This is the most important: STOP TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT MED SCHOOL APPLICATIONS. Put your head in the sand, ignore them when they approach you about it, change the topic, don't talk about it. Yes, please talk to your CLOSE supports (parents, partners, siblings, BEST friends), but don't talk to other pre-meds or other applicants. WHY? It's crazy-making. Everyone has an opinion or feedback and most of them are not worth internalizing. It's also exhausting and leads to rumination and going over things again and again. Now, full disclosure, I LOVE to ruminate and over analyze and chat about things like this, but I really only limited it to my husband and my best friend. Of note, if you have specific questions, forums like this can be super helpful, but it can also be equally as crazy-making (no hate on the forum! it's just sometimes important to take a step away from it!)

TLDR: You are CLEARLY a worthy candidate. You received more interviews than most people. Medical school thinks you can be an excellent medical student and eventually a doctor! GREAT!   This process is brutal and not getting in sucks. Interviewing is a skill like anything else and can be mastered. You weren't born with math skills, you learned them. You can learn to interview well. Take a step back and stop talking to so many people (IRL) about med school. It can make it worse. Also take a step back from the forums if you need to.