Love in the Time of C[OVID-19]holera

[Guys I Need Help]

Hey everyone,

Long story short, I am a first-year med student (M) looking for relationship advice regarding my classmate (F).

Why would I go on Premed 101 for that, you might ask? Well, here are my reasons:

1. Fellow med students (or students in general) may be able to better understand my situation and maybe a few people could even relate.
2. I am not comfortable talking about this with anyone I know.
3. Because why not post something different to distract everyone here from the daily worries about the pandemic, cancelled summer plans, and med school admission results?

So anyway, here is my story:

In March, I broke up with my long-term girlfriend. We were together since the first year of undergrad and this was my first serious relationship. Things have been really crappy for a while before we broke up, so I was feeling miserable right from the beginning of my first year of med school. I was generally quiet and detached in class and was not very keen on doing social things with my classmates all year.

Months went by and, at one point, I developed feelings for one of my classmates. We were in the same group for a few things, so we talked and worked together several times. We didn't really become friends after this, but we have been smiling at each and saying hi (or sometimes stopping to chat) when seeing each other on campus.

At first, I didn’t really do anything about it, because I was still technically in a relationship. That said, when I became single once again, I realized that I actually don't really know anymore how to flirt, ask out, or date (lol). In addition to that, I was always bad at seeing whether someone is interested in me or not. So anyway, here I was, feeling like an awkward teenager, not really sure how to shoot my shot.

And then It happened. COVID came and all of us ended up Zooming and vodcasting our lectures for the rest of the year from the comfort of our homes.

Any ideas about what I should/could do? How do people get into relationships these days? Any other thoughts/advice?

Thanks for reading!

[MDinCanada]

Download Tinder

[Bambi]

Timing is everything. And patience is a virtue!  Personal safety and studies are the priority. You can, perhaps, make her your Skype study buddy! Help each other in your studies, building up a solid base for when you go for a change in the relationship structure. 

[Anon-e-mous]

Here's what worked on me (f) by a classmate that I was friendly with but didn't know too well.

He slid into my DM's/got my # by asking me for help with a school project (even though he didn't really need help lol). Then he got the conversation going about personal things and later suggested we meet up based on a common interest (which turned into a date).

Maybe get a conversation going by bringing up something you are both working on for school. Then ask her how she is holding up during this pandemic. If she doesn't ask you questions back or keeps replies short then it might mean she isn't interested. But if the conversation keeps going then great! Find out more about her and her interests/hobbies. When a conversation has been going for a while suggest doing an activity together after the pandemic and see how she responds. For example, if she says she really misses going for walks at a park that's closed suggest going together when this is all done.

Now the problem is we don't know how long this quarantine is going to last so suggesting a date is great except that might not happen for a while. Just texting for that long might cause a potential relationship to fizzle out. What Bambi said is a great idea! If she seems interested in meeting up after the pandemic see if she would want to work on school work with you via skype or something in the meantime. These school work sessions could be a great excuse to get to know each other more.

Goodluck!!  

[Chels1267]

I don't really have anything to add other than to say fire thread title.

[Guys I Need Help]

Thanks for the advice, everyone! And thank you @ruralmed for sharing your personal story! This is really helpful!

[insomnias]

My suggestion: you and your ex-gf had been dating for at least 4 (possibly more) years, and you only broke it off last month. Take at least a month to process this and sort of wallow in the loneliness. This is an admittedly terrible time to be lonely, but unless you're 100% over that relationship, it's not really super healthy to pursue anything right now. Especially not with a classmate with whom you may be stuck for the next 3+ years. You need to regain that sense of self you might've lost during the relationship

[LittleDaisy]

Hey I have been on my own for a lone time, I lived on my own since 18, and I never regretted!

Trust me, if you are able to live happily on your own, you will be truly happy when difficult life circumstances happen. I find when I am alone and at piece with myself, I truly get to appreciate what I want in life, and what kind of qualities I look for in a future long-term partner. 

I know that it sounds cheesy, time heals everything!

[whatisgoingon]

Make sure you use PPE guy