Med School as a single mom- possible?

[lefttheforum]

38 minutes ago, MaudeB said:

@alex686, your mom is extremely inspiring! Thanks for sharing! Its wonderful that you had a great experience through your mom med school training! This is what is concerning me the most, its important for me to have quality time with my kids and that they feel they are my top priority!  Goodluck on your med school application! Where did you apply to? Its such an exciting time!

Thank you so much  ! ^^

I applied to all medical schools in Quebec, Canada,  which are uLaval, UDEM, McGill and Usherbooke <3 

it is so excitinggg hahaha, im shaking just thinking of it !

I wish you all the best  !!  

[MaudeB]

23 minutes ago, Deferred said:

Not sure if you can answer this, but do you feel that your friend(s) in med school with two kids had to sacrifice too much time with their children? In other words, Do you know if they ultimately regretted this path? I know it’s subjective, but I’m trying to learn as much as I can from different perspectives on here. And this idea of an unsupportive med school does deter me. I am genuinely worried medicine will not be worth the “lost time” with family and that I will ultimately regret my decision.
Seems like the main drawbacks wrt lost family time will probably be in clerkship and off-service rotations in residency (FM), but I may be totally ignorant on this. I was hoping that the pre-clerkship years wouldn’t be so bad? Maybe I should make a separate post asking parents for opinions (have only found limited info). Thanks In advance if you do have any suggestions 

Hi! Its exactly what I am trying to evaluate, do it or not, would I regret it or not... There are definitively trade offs that will need to be made and med school seem to be a huge time commitment... I feel that universities are really not geared toward older students with a family and I am also a bit deterred by it! Let me know if you find some info!! I am very interested on the topic! I understand you are also a parent and want to go for FM? 

[AB.Med.]

49 minutes ago, MaudeB said:

Hi! Its exactly what I am trying to evaluate, do it or not, would I regret it or not... There are definitively trade offs that will need to be made and med school seem to be a huge time commitment... I feel that universities are really not geared toward older students with a family and I am also a bit deterred by it! Let me know if you find some info!! I am very interested on the topic! I understand you are also a parent and want to go for FM? 

Yes, FM. I have two young children, already in 40s. If I did not really enjoy my current job, medicine would be a no-brainer.....but I have a good career and I wonder if moms that went through with young ones might think it’s not worth the time missing out on family. Perhaps they see my lifestyle and think it’s better, and I should stay put, who knows. I’m sure they love being a physician, but I would love to hear if they think it will be worth the “family sacrifice”, as kids grow so fast (I appreciate that ppl without children might think that’s crazy - I would not have understood or related pre-kids!). And do they feel they have more time for family once they are staff? Or are they still working endless hours?  Im not concerned about other sacrifices or the very hard work, solely about missing out on my children’s lives/growing up. All careers have pros/cons so I’m trying to learn more about the extent. 

I will defo DM you if I find more info. Have you met with a financial adviser? I definitely recommend it for looking at opportunity cost, debt, paying off loans etc and finding the break even point.

You said you are a single mom. And I’m sure it’s doable with hard work and juggling. But now you need to find out if the rewards will be worth it. Which I can’t speak to at all. But will keep you posted if I learn anything of interest for you. Wishing you the best in deciding

[MaudeB]

On 2/15/2021 at 10:51 PM, Deferred said:

Yes, FM. I have two young children, already in 40s. If I did not really enjoy my current job, medicine would be a no-brainer.....but I have a good career and I wonder if moms that went through with young ones might think it’s not worth the time missing out on family. Perhaps they see my lifestyle and think it’s better, and I should stay put, who knows. I’m sure they love being a physician, but I would love to hear if they think it will be worth the “family sacrifice”, as kids grow so fast (I appreciate that ppl without children might think that’s crazy - I would not have understood or related pre-kids!). And do they feel they have more time for family once they are staff? Or are they still working endless hours?  Im not concerned about other sacrifices or the very hard work, solely about missing out on my children’s lives/growing up. All careers have pros/cons so I’m trying to learn more about the extent. 

I will defo DM you if I find more info. Have you met with a financial adviser? I definitely recommend it for looking at opportunity cost, debt, paying off loans etc and finding the break even point.

You said you are a single mom. And I’m sure it’s doable with hard work and juggling. But now you need to find out if the rewards will be worth it. Which I can’t speak to at all. But will keep you posted if I learn anything of interest for you. Wishing you the best in deciding

@Deferred, could I pm you so we can chat on the mama in med school questions? no pressure! Thanks!

[MaudeB]

On 2/8/2021 at 9:32 AM, MDee2B said:

That’s a great story @alex686.

For a parent who is reorienting, one thing I would also want to mention to OP for consideration:

What are your employment options, just in case the med route goes sour (ie you start med school and after a couple of months/years you find it to be too much of a strain on yourself/your family and abandon your studies)?

Can you return to your old job easily? Will it be hard to find a new job? Can you organize a sabbatical from your job for the first year of med school, in case you drop out you have a fall back plan/ a job to return to?

Without dependents, I don’t think these questions would matter as much. But with dependents in the picture, I think it’s especially important to carefully consider all scenarios.

@MDee2B, those are excellent points to consider! I am in field were the job prospects are pretty low, because there arent a lot of jobs. However, I have 10 years of experience in the field which would make it a bit easier to find something if I had to quit med school for some reason. Asking for a sabbatical is not really a possibility. I am in the private sector so its not something they would offer I think. I might ask my boss but he is retiring in a year so his succesor could change his/her mind about me if my actual boss grants me a sabbatical. Its worth asking though!

Indeed, I am trying to evaluate all the scenarios, which make the decision pretty stressful. It would be nice to have a crystal ball! Things could be very difficult or fine... I will only know if I take the plunge!!

Thank you for the great questions, these are helping me to broader my views, the different possibilities, and what to consider!

[bearded frog]

@Birdy do you still post here? Thoughts?

[AB.Med.]

7 hours ago, MaudeB said:

@Deferred, could I pm you so we can chat on the mama in med school questions? no pressure! Thanks!

Sure, no problem

[MaudeB]

On 2/8/2021 at 7:05 PM, bearded frog said:

I absolutely agree with you. Medicine is not for everyone, and if someone thinks its not worth it, totally fine to do something else. Sacraficing a good portion of your life to the grind is a lot easier when you're young and have no commitments, for sure. The point I'm trying to make is that with all else being equal, if medicine is what she wants to do, it might be harder for her than her classmates but it's totally possible as a single mom.

Thanks @bearded frog! I'm looking at different avenues, daycare options, etc.. And as you mentionned, now I am trying to evaluate if I am up to the challenge! reading the thread about clerkship hours, I am freaking out a little bit!! Thanks for your positive outlook!!

[MaudeB]

On 2/8/2021 at 12:33 AM, JohnGrisham said:

Yes, my main point was that enlisting for medical school and residency for 6 years is a big undertaking without any support (based on what the OP has presented, they are pretty much on their own. Again if this is not the case, then it can help favourable for this goal of medicine), and not to forget we are all assuming they are already a competitive applicant and haven't taken into account time to do the MCAT, buff grades(if applicable) and buff non-academics(if applicable).

Doing a 2 year accelerated nursing program and practicing as a nurse is infinitely easier route than 6 years of medicine/residency, when you factor in the significant time away from kids.  Nursing shift-work is often very flexible, go into a 0.5 set line and pick up shifts whenever you want. Increase workload as the kids get older, and move into other roles (admin, nurse practitioner etc) for even more pay. Some provinces have Nurse Practitioners that are closing the gap with FM and for OP, this is something strongly to consider. I have many loved ones in nursing, and the flexibility is great. That's all, just wanted to put that as a potential option. Similar with OT and PT - again only 2 years of commitment for the period of "lack of control".  2 years versus 6 is a big difference when you take into account growing children. Again, maybe the OPs kids are 10+ and its less of an issue, something to think about.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should" - only OP knows their situation and what they think their family can handle. I would 100% want them to pursue their passion of medicine and we need more non-traditional representation. But i'm not going to paint rosy pictures of the process of medical school and residency. Medical schools can only accomodate so much for clerkship and residency - Yes staff life as a FM doc is very much in your control and much better in hours and $ than an RN - but you have to go through 6 years of lack of control and long hours to get there.  The financial costs associated with it are somewhat buffered by access to govt loans, bursaries and LOC - but debt will definitely be large. Logistics and nannies are a huge cost that shouldn't be understated - raising kids is a full-time job on its own, so if OP is studying and going after their MD, they will need support, and it seems the support they will have access to is via paid support.

@JohnGrisham, I am definitively looking at other career options in healthcare. Nursing would be a great option, I am pretty sure I would love it. However it has a really bad rep in the Qc province. I have lots of friends in nursing and they all burn out one after the other, which is sad. 

 The lack of control on the schedule is the aspect that bothers me the most with med school... I work  in the private sector now and the schedule is super impredictable. and I really dislike it! I regularly work long hours and when I think I have found a balance, it gets thrown off by a new project..., I often until 1 am when the kids are in bed and during the week end, but from home. I am exhausted!! So that is something to think about, for clerkship and residency for sure... Its hard to imagine how it could be!...  Thanks for letting me know your point of view, its much appreciated! 

[ceelbe]

1 minute ago, MaudeB said:

@JohnGrisham, I am definitively looking at other career options in healthcare. Nursing would be a great option, I am pretty sure I would love it. However it has a really bad rep in the Qc province. I have lots of friends in nursing and they all burn out one after the other, which is sad. 

 The lack of control on the schedule is the aspect that bothers me the most with med school... I work  in the private sector now and the schedule is super impredictable. and I really dislike it! I regularly work long hours and when I think I have found a balance, it gets thrown off by a new project..., I often until 1 am when the kids are in bed and during the week end, but from home. I am exhausted!! So that is something to think about, for clerkship and residency for sure... Its hard to imagine how it could be!...  Thanks for letting me know your point of view, its much appreciated! 

Honestly with nursing though, if you were to do your DEC then bac for 2 years at like McGill let’s say (or do the 4 year bac right away) you can go work straight away in clinic or CLSC which would give you more stable hours. Or you can often find certain positions that have much better hours like I know people who have worked in the OR and they only work every like...4th weekend, no night shifts, great vacation, etc. There’s lots of options other than the typical hospital stuff. But if you feel like nursing won’t satisfy you the way that medicine will then it might be worth the hustle for those years to get to the end point you want. So tough to know in advance though, I know what you mean.