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I'm really in crossroads and don't know what to do. I'm stuck I want to go to med school but I don't know if I can. I'm struggling as to what my cousins are saying about me behind my back and not really respecting me because I'm not in medicine also the amount of times I feel like a failure for not going to medical school. Do I hope in medicine? I see all of the people that went abroad as well and they got residency at the location they did their medical school. I'm just depressed and don't know what to do?

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14 minutes ago, PreMed4Life said:

I'm really in crossroads and don't know what to do. I'm stuck I want to go to med school but I don't know if I can. I'm struggling as to what my cousins are saying about me behind my back and not really respecting me because I'm not in medicine also the amount of times I feel like a failure for not going to medical school. Do I hope in medicine? I see all of the people that went abroad as well and they got residency at the location they did their medical school. I'm just depressed and don't know what to do?

Do not do anything because of what other people want or expect of you. You’re only setting yourself up for hardship, unhappiness and likely, an eventual change of course down the road.

Do something which interests you genuinely, because if you’re into the subject matter you’ll have the drive to succeed and the stamina required for longevity in any career.

if you think this field is for you, try to find out if that’s really the case (ie filter out the influences around you  and see if your own true inner voice is actually telling you, “hey, this is for me!” or if it’s screaming “run! This is definitely not for me, despite what everyone is telling me “). Try to gather experience volunteering (a bit tough during the pandemic), taking courses, researching, talking to ppl in the field, etc to make such a determination.

if you determine ultimately that it’s not for you, that’s perfectly fine. yet if the ppl around continue to pressure you to pursue med anyways, then I would suggest staying away from those ppl and branching out to find a social circle which is accepting of who you really are. That could be hard, but it may not be you’re feeling down right now because you’re not getting into med; rather, it could be you’re feeling down because you’re being pressured  to do something which you don’t actually want to do. And that’s where your dissonance may ultimately lie.

you’ve got to do and figure out what’s right for you. No one else. Dont do something simply because of what your cousins expect of you. 

 

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1 hour ago, PreMed4Life said:

I'm really in crossroads and don't know what to do. I'm stuck I want to go to med school but I don't know if I can. I'm struggling as to what my cousins are saying about me behind my back and not really respecting me because I'm not in medicine also the amount of times I feel like a failure for not going to medical school. Do I hope in medicine? I see all of the people that went abroad as well and they got residency at the location they did their medical school. I'm just depressed and don't know what to do?

Sorry to hear that you're feeling depressed and that you are surrounded by unsupportive family members. That's really, really difficult.

I know what I will be suggesting is going to be hard to do, but my best advice to you is to not worry about what others are saying and do what you want to do. 

In life, you'll always encounter people who think you can't do something, who look down on you, who sabatoge you. Screw those people.

If medicine is what you want to do, go for it. It's not an easy journey and it will require you to endure lots of hardship. Only you can decide whether or not this path is right for you. Also, don't be pressured to decide right away. If you're not ready to pursue medicine now, you can try doing other things in the meantime that spark you joy.

I think it's important for you to take care of yourself first. Get help if you need it. Everyone's path in life is different. Make your own path. 

You can do it :)! 

Take care!

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1 minute ago, Persephone said:

Try not to focus on your age, you are still quite young! I didn't start medical school until I was 29, many others start even later. And if your goal changes to something else, I doubt it will be too late to change directions.

Me and Persephone are both oldies :D! I didn't start medical school until 28! 
 

 

1 hour ago, PreMed4Life said:

I'm just depressed and I really like medicine but its like I have a hard time getting out of my bed. I'm almost 25 and its like what I'm I doing with my life.

At 25 years old, I also had no idea what I was doing. I decided to backpack around, slept in hostels and train stations. It was fun :) 

No regrets! 

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1 hour ago, PreMed4Life said:

I'm just depressed and I really like medicine but its like I have a hard time getting out of my bed. I'm almost 25 and its like what I'm I doing with my life.

I also joined medical school at 26 later than many of my classmates. Ive also had family members that were not supportive. I've heard comments like why are you doing medicine, you're going to be a student forever, how about staring a family etc. 

I would say that it's not necessarily a disadvantage - like other have said you end up doing the job all your life. The other milestones are more or less social constructs. Maybe figure out what is important for you in your life. Medical school shouldnt be your only goal or joy in life. I echo the travelling part but obviously that is not possible not (SIGH). Maybe you also feel this way because of the whole pandemic situation? A lot of people have been feeling more down than usual. 

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If you feel like you are so depressed that you cannot get out of bed, maybe get some help first. The pandemic and life in general can be very difficult and sometimes we need outside help to get keep our head out of the water. Please take care of yourself!!

As for what other people say, the best advice I can give is stop thinking about it... You are there depressed and they are carrying on with their lives... its no not worth it... Comparing yourself to other never brings anything positive. 

If you want to go to med school, maybe start looking at the steps you have to take and do something small towards it... baby steps will get you closer to your goal. The big picture can feel overwhelming... Do you have to take somes classes, MCAT, or anything else? Start looking at programs requirements, etc? 

25 is seriously so young! Don't let it stop you. I will be starting next fall at 40 yo! Its never too late!

You can do it!

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52 minutes ago, MaudeB said:

If you feel like you are so depressed that you cannot get out of bed, maybe get some help first.

This is a good point! Go see your family doctor or even a walk-in doctor if you don't have a family doc if you are feeling like your low feelings are getting in the way of functioning. You don't have to go it alone!

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If need be, seek professional help. Your mental health is paramount in everything you do. 

Please take this time to reflect and try to figure out what you really want and desire for your future. You deserve nothing but the best, but you need to find out what's best for you. 

Consider distancing yourself from those family members for some time. You don't have to be rude to them, but try to occupy yourself with other things so that you do not have to spend as much time with them if they are really cramping your vibe. 

I am 25 years old, and constantly deal with my parents asking me what I'm doing with my life. Even after telling them I'm trying to get into medicine, they see this as a problem since I graduated in 2018. They think I'm not serious, and they love bringing up the question of when I will have kids if I don't settle down. I love my family. I've explained to them my plan, but they aren't with it. Consequently, I've decided to limit the amount of time that I spend with them, especially if I can sense this topic being brought up. I've made peace with the fact that this is how they have chosen to operate.

I'm setting my own goals and keeping myself occupied as I work towards the person I want to be, and hopefully, that includes a career in medicine for me. 

I wish you the absolute best on your journey.

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