Feeling more out place than ever before with CaRMs coming up

[medthrowaway]

Hey everyone,

Made this throwaway account cause my friends know about my other one. Basically, I just started 4th year and my anxiety has become terrible. The CaRMs portal hasn’t even opened yet and I’m stressing like never before. If anything, I feel like the imposter syndrome is hitting harder than ever before during these CaRMs electives and I feel like I’m alone in this. Even though I know I have the knowledge from 3rd year, rotating every 2 weeks into a new elective makes me feel so inadequate.

The main thing that’s stressing me out is the CaRMs reference letters. I’m working with multiple staff, which sucks when it comes to requesting a letter. It’s not like I’m applying to a program like emerg where it’s expected that you may not be able to work with the same stuff multiple times. I’m applying for peds and, the way it is at my school, you’re often changing staff within the same week unless it’s for things like CTU/PICU/NICU where you have the same staff for one week but your exposure with the staff varies so much. This worries me because, now, I don’t know how to gage whether I would get a strong reference letter from someone I’ve worked 2-3 days with over a 2 week period.

I know people say to gage your relationship with that staff when asking for a letter, but it feels like most of them say yes. I also find myself comparing myself to others who spontaneously get offered reference letters. Does not getting offered one mean it’s less likely to be a good one? It feels like a guessing came at times and my anxiety gets so bad that I worry whether I wouldn’t get interviews at the schools I apply to because my letters aren’t strong given my lack of exposure to the staff.

There are so many thoughts running through my mind and it worries me because this is only the beginning. At this point, I feel like I’m on the path to destroying my mental health because of this. I’ve never felt so out of place and inadequate and really just wanted advice from others who may have gone through the same

[indefatigable]

14 hours ago, medthrowaway said:

Hey everyone,

Made this throwaway account cause my friends know about my other one. Basically, I just started 4th year and my anxiety has become terrible. The CaRMs portal hasn’t even opened yet and I’m stressing like never before. If anything, I feel like the imposter syndrome is hitting harder than ever before during these CaRMs electives and I feel like I’m alone in this. Even though I know I have the knowledge from 3rd year, rotating every 2 weeks into a new elective makes me feel so inadequate.

The main thing that’s stressing me out is the CaRMs reference letters. I’m working with multiple staff, which sucks when it comes to requesting a letter. It’s not like I’m applying to a program like emerg where it’s expected that you may not be able to work with the same stuff multiple times. I’m applying for peds and, the way it is at my school, you’re often changing staff within the same week unless it’s for things like CTU/PICU/NICU where you have the same staff for one week but your exposure with the staff varies so much. This worries me because, now, I don’t know how to gage whether I would get a strong reference letter from someone I’ve worked 2-3 days with over a 2 week period.

I know people say to gage your relationship with that staff when asking for a letter, but it feels like most of them say yes. I also find myself comparing myself to others who spontaneously get offered reference letters. Does not getting offered one mean it’s less likely to be a good one? It feels like a guessing came at times and my anxiety gets so bad that I worry whether I wouldn’t get interviews at the schools I apply to because my letters aren’t strong given my lack of exposure to the staff.

There are so many thoughts running through my mind and it worries me because this is only the beginning. At this point, I feel like I’m on the path to destroying my mental health because of this. I’ve never felt so out of place and inadequate and really just wanted advice from others who may have gone through the same

Honestly -take some deep breaths and relax.  I'd  first suggest stabilizing your mental health by trying to talk to a counsellor or similar (should be available through your student health plan).  Right now it's your worry  that's at risk of hurting you - it sounds like you're actually doing fine.  

A letter offer is great but personally I know that some of the letters that I had asked for were even stronger  than offered letters (obtained through the prior access to information policy).    Trying to ask residents for good referees may be helpful.  More time can help, but not fully necessary.    

No question it's a stressful time and ultimately somewhat of a crapshoot, so the best you can do is take care of yourself which help you perform even better.  At the same time, it's important to realize that there's only so much you can do - worrying about things out of your control doesn't actually change anything.   Just trying making the most of what you have in front of you.

[bearded frog]

18 hours ago, medthrowaway said:

The main thing that’s stressing me out is the CaRMs reference letters. I’m working with multiple staff, which sucks when it comes to requesting a letter. It’s not like I’m applying to a program like emerg where it’s expected that you may not be able to work with the same stuff multiple times. I’m applying for peds and, the way it is at my school, you’re often changing staff within the same week unless it’s for things like CTU/PICU/NICU where you have the same staff for one week but your exposure with the staff varies so much. This worries me because, now, I don’t know how to gage whether I would get a strong reference letter from someone I’ve worked 2-3 days with over a 2 week period.

Peds applicant/resident/now staff here. We know that med students get limited exposure to each staff, so it's ok to ask staff to discuss with their colleagues if you've worked with multiple ones. This is common, and the norm in ER for instance where you work with everyone for only a day.

We assume that if you're doing an elective you're going to ask for a letter, so don't feel bad about asking. Even then it's going to be rare that you would get offered to have a letter written, even if you're doing fine. You're correct that it's difficult to gauge how good the letter will be. But in my experience staff generally try to imply if it's not going to be great. Ask your staff if they would be comfortable "writing a strong letter of recommendation". If they waffle at all, such as saying that they can write you a letter but didn't have a ton of exposure or if they suggest someone else, it's probably not going to be strong. That's ok, you should normalize asking for a letter every time, then decide later which ones you want to use (and you can use different letters at different schools, for instance if you have three strong letters you may choose to use two strong letters and an ok letter from an elective at that school in your application for that school).