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Frustration set in. I choked


keith_015

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I thought I needed a good medium to vent my frustration on so I am posting here where people will understand the best.

 

I "wrote" the MCAT today. My first go at it since 2006. I was fairly confident going into this exam. I was finishing with on Avg, 13 for each section of the sciences and 10 on VR on official MCAT practice exams. Each science section I typically have ample leftover time to go through marked questions. Today I seriously choked hard at the real deal.

 

One of my biggest problems with me and MCATs is that I turn Insomniac before the exam. Sunday night I didn't sleep. Monday I slept with sleeping pills, Tuesday had a couple of drinks which knocked me out, and last night, sleeping pills didn't work. I thought of myself being calm as a cucumber as I didn't think anything MCAT after 5PM yesterday. I fell asleep around 7:15 for 2 1/2hrs. This is reminiscent to 2006 when I got 2hrs of sleep before the MCAT.

 

Today's experience was just horrifying. Typically when I went through practice exams, I would go in sequence, calmly, and answer everything confidently. Everything exploded for me on PS. The pressure got the best of me and every question became a huge challenge. I had to guess on a number of questions, meaning I was sure confident that my score blew hard (less than a 10). After finishing the PS, I figured it was not going to be easy the rest of the way.

 

I should've taken a break after VR and gone for a walk around. I took about half of my break, just because I figured I would start getting fatigued early on in VR. I read my first passage of VR and didn't retain a thing. What a helpless feeling. Same went for the 2nd passage. With 20min elapsed and surely only 2 or 3 right answers out of 10 I pulled the plug. It was such a defeating feeling.

 

I'm not sure what policy is, but I will hopefully try again mid Aug. I've applied to the US and the lateness of a later score may jeopardize some applications. I am definitely not one to give up. I am surprised at what happened today. It has never happened to me on any other exam.

 

I guess this serves as a helpful example to those of you going in to write soon. Your nerves may run a little high. For me, because I am getting a little older and at the point where giving up medicine is a possibility, nerves probably were elevated all the more.

 

I wish good luck to all, and here's to hoping that you can retain your nerves.

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You are putting too much pressure on yourself. You need to do a little self-reflection, while gaining some perspective on the MCAT and medicine in general. The MCAT is not what it used to be. When the MCAT was paper only, there were only two write days out the year. Now, you can write it over and over within a short period of time. So, what happens if you do bad on an attempt? Write it again. Who cares? If you mess up again, write it again after that.

 

And never quit a test. You are just arousing that inner doubt that will become more and more of a problem the longer you are in the MCAT-writing stage of the pursuit for admission. If anything, you could have used this MCAT to evaluate your preparedness for the science sections. And verbal is deceiving. Most people think they bomb verbal, but sometimes things just work out. You won't actually know how you did until it gets marked.

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You are putting too much pressure on yourself. You need to do a little self-reflection, while gaining some perspective on the MCAT and medicine in general. The MCAT is not what it used to be. When the MCAT was paper only, there were only two write days out the year. Now, you can write it over and over within a short period of time. So, what happens if you do bad on an attempt? Write it again. Who cares? If you mess up again, write it again after that.

 

And never quit a test. You are just arousing that inner doubt that will become more and more of a problem the longer you are in the MCAT-writing stage of the pursuit for admission.

 

Its a subconscious thing I think. I may have put pressure on myself, but that's the way it has been every time I write the real thing. I wrote on paper in 2005 and on CBT in 2006 both years were the twice a year only deal. I've gone through it all. I guess the pressure is on for US apps because of the rolling admissions, and I can't keep going on and on every year with this. I was waitlisted last year at U of M in the top 10. For some reason last year the waitlist didn't move as compared to other years. Had it moved, I wouldn't be in this predicament. At some point you may just have to dedicate your life to something else if things just don't seem to work out in your favor.

 

Quitting today was well required. What is the point in continuing the test if you won't have it scored anyways? You will not learn where you may have gone wrong in further sections. Your frame of mind certainly is not in any position to carry on. No matter what you do, you cannot get anything out of it. Sometimes you have to learn to take your licks and admit defeat like I did today.

 

I definitely will look for redemption in Aug. One last hurrah

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Just wondering did you consider that the PS section of the real MCAT is actually a lot harder than the AAMC practice tests, because that is what I heard, and is something I am worried about.

 

Maybe it wasn't pressure of the day but pressure of the fact that the PS was harder and caused a breakdown. I am hoping that wasn't the case because I have been only doing mediocre on the practice tests between 10-12 on PS.

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The first time I wrote I remember my heart POUNDING in my chest during my first few PS passages. I mean it was beating harder than when I went bungie jumping! Yea I couldn't focus and I screwed that up (mostly on VR). I feel your pain.

 

The second time I wrote I was much calmer. I did many practice tests that were pretty consistent with the scores so I guess that helped me out. Plus I just don't get that worked up about anything anymore. I didn't really care if I didn't know the answer for 100% sure. Hell I didn't care when I couldn't understand WTF was going on in one of my VR passages! I just answered the question based on gut-instinct, stuck to my time limits and moved on. I actually thought I bombed VR and would have to write a third time (thankfully not the case), but I still didn't really care. In short, calm down! This isn't do-or-die. This is do-or-try-again. Yes the MCAT is a beast, but despite what others say its a completely manageable beast. You're the only one standing in your way.

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Just wondering did you consider that the PS section of the real MCAT is actually a lot harder than the AAMC practice tests, because that is what I heard, and is something I am worried about.

 

I'd say its a harder, but not "a lot" harder. I definitely noticed it was harder, but not like "OMG this is the end!" harder. If you're comfortable with the practice tests (do more than 1!) then you'll be fine for the real thing. BTW my scores were not the same as what I was consistently scoring on the practice tests. I have no clue why. :confused:

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Just wondering did you consider that the PS section of the real MCAT is actually a lot harder than the AAMC practice tests, because that is what I heard, and is something I am worried about.

 

Maybe it wasn't pressure of the day but pressure of the fact that the PS was harder and caused a breakdown. I am hoping that wasn't the case because I have been only doing mediocre on the practice tests between 10-12 on PS.

 

I did each e-MCAT and definitely the PS is a little more obscure on the real one. The concepts are definitely more challenging. I wish I had done a little more "challenging" practice than just the e-MCAT. I felt like I was out to lunch!

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I did each e-MCAT and definitely the PS is a little more obscure on the real one. The concepts are definitely more challenging. I wish I had done a little more "challenging" practice than just the e-MCAT. I felt like I was out to lunch!

 

sorry to hear all that Keith. i hope everything works out for the best in time.

 

i just wanted to point out that "the PS is a little more obscure on the real one". this always seems to be the case from both my experience and many others over the past few years. so you should very much expect the same next time around.

 

good luck

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Sorry to hear that Keith, try taking yoga classes or something...I have no idea how else to handle this anxiety. I am doing the test next week for the first time so I am hoping to learn from your experiences. I think maybe the day before I will just try to relax and spend time not thinking about the MCAT.

 

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to prepare for this obscurity in PS?? I hear TPR is good but I don't have access to any of their tests but I do have a TPR workbook for PS, would that suffice??

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Do you guys have any suggestions on how to prepare for this obscurity in PS?? I hear TPR is good but I don't have access to any of their tests but I do have a TPR workbook for PS, would that suffice??

 

The best way is to simply calm yourself down. I only wrote one but apparently PS is indeed "obscure" from what people have pointed out.

 

In retrospect though, PS was fine just as soon as I had knocked my anxiety down a few -> if you've been studying diligently you know the concepts...apply them...throw pressure out the window and focus on doing your best.

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Sorry to hear that Keith, try taking yoga classes or something...I have no idea how else to handle this anxiety. I am doing the test next week for the first time so I am hoping to learn from your experiences. I think maybe the day before I will just try to relax and spend time not thinking about the MCAT.

 

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to prepare for this obscurity in PS?? I hear TPR is good but I don't have access to any of their tests but I do have a TPR workbook for PS, would that suffice??

 

haha I'm definitely not a flexible kinda yoga person. Its weird how things work out. I bet if I would've been tired, I would've been alright. You definitely want to keep you mind as clear away from the MCAT as possible the day before. I haven't used TPR practice exams, but if you want some, PM me.

 

My advice for PS is definitely don't panic. I think I got caught up in the fact that a lot of passages contained a lot of info and were not very simplified (you actually had to scroll a lot). The questions did require more thinking than I would've liked, and they definitely touched a lot more on my weaker side of PS than I would've wanted.

 

I wasn't impressed that the testing center I was at didn't have monitors to fit whole passages.

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Hey Keith, I PM'd you thanks!

 

But what do you mean about the monitors, were they extremely small or something? Like 15"...?

 

The place I was at, the monitors were fairly square. Think of a typical laptop screen only square. That's the size. I was expecting the place to have monitors at least 20' so the whole friggin passage would be on the screen. The place (Nordic College in TO) was pretty shady. I wouldn't suggest taking the MCAT there. They didn't have enough lockers, or a cafeteria so I actually had to put my backpack in the actual room. I felt sorry for the people writing when I had to dig my glasses out of my backpack after I finished the PS while they were probably doing VR. The last time I did the MCAT CBT, it was in Kitchener and that place knew how to run exams like the MCAT. I was disappointed that the place in Kitchener no longer offers the MCAT. As well, the desks were poorly designed. You could not roll your chair under the desk. It made for awkward sitting.

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The Prometric Centre on Bloor St E in Toronto is the best. There were like 18 people there total, so no line-ups to get back in or anything. Extremely quiet (those ear muffs worked great). Decent sized monitors. Very nice proctors.

 

Definitely try to test there if you can.

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Hey,

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation today. I guess the best thing you could do is just not lose heart, and realize that you did give the exam your best shot, and knew when it was just too much for you to handle. Hopefully things will work out better during your next go at this!

All the best! ;)

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The MCAT really is a beast. In terms of feeling like you did terrible...it is not always the case. I thought I did bad (even thought about not having it scored) but then ended up doing really well. Keep in mind that you are compared to everyone taking the test and you don't really know how you did. I remember reading an english section and realizing I didn't have time to actually read the passage before I had to just guess on the questions. I think it was one of those 'killer' passages that you would have to spend ages on to get the right answers anyway. So, basically don't give up during the test even if you are feeling like it is going terrible! Just keep trying because you might still do good!

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I remember PS being hard and that I guessed on several of the last couple. Ended up with a 10. BS was similar, though perhaps a little easier and with minimal guesswork. Also a 10. Unfortunately, I was in the worst state during BS as I'd thought I'd bombed the WS. Not only was I cutoff in mid-sentence in at least one of the passages, but I'm pretty sure I was cutoff mid-word. Needless to say I was not all that confident starting BS, but I ended up with an R somehow. For a few days after the exam I'd thought I'd killed my chances. VR, on the other hand, went swimmingly.

 

I don't know what other suggestions I have to relax, but it is awfully important NOT to study that much in the few days immediately prior to the exam. Don't even bother with practice tests, as they won't help that much. The night before (I had to write in Ottawa and was in a hotel room by myself) I had a leisurely food court dinner and watched TV and clips from Return of the Jedi on Youtube. Woke up at 6-something and got ready to go... I think it's key to make the whole experience as low-stress and relaxing as possible.

 

(Incidentally, the "no studying the night/days before" does not work when you actually have to regurgitate reams of information.)

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So last night I was going over some of my answers and thinking really hard where I went wrong. I think one of my biggest problems was that I was unable to identify terms in questions that involved adjusting terms and stuff like that. Remembering what the questions were, I know the first two passages I think I scored perfect as well as most of the non-passage questions. I just had trouble with/got intimidated by some math q's. I should've written down more formulae just to give myself a visual aid. A few of my guesses did end up to be correct, but I definitely was not going to get the score I wanted. I'm definitely more confident now, and the next time I write will be a success.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thought I would bump this for anyone who followed this thread. I rewrote again today at 2PM and definitely did a lot better than the last time. No freezing or choking. Thanks to everybody for the advice!

 

But again, my tradition of losing sleep before the MCAT happened once again. This time I wrote with ZERO sleep. Nothing like kicking but after being up for 28+ Hrs. I least I was able to channel the frustration this time and actually accept it. I think I finished around my target score of 36. Time will tell!!!

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I think I am a member of your club.:mad:. I did not live up to my expectations and don't anticipate happy results, we will see.

For sure, I am glad that I am IP in Quebec:p where 3 of the med schools have no MCAT requirement and McGill won't either next year. Either way, should turn out to be a bump in the road, I am good to go.

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