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Hi everyone. This is an email that my organic chemistry prof received from a student. I thought it was good for some laughs! :D


Hey All You Sexy Science Students (Guys of course)



From the moment I first saw you drinking those hydroxyl groups, my inner aldehyde had me screaming to form an acetal bond with you. Come and protonate me baby. I want to tap that "hemiassital" all night. I'm not a Leaving group, I'm a Nucleophile and I'm not leaving under ANY conditions. You're the sick perversion that lets me do retrograde inversions. If you were a free radical, I'd pick you up. Together, we could form a recessive mutation. The Van der Waals between us overcame all hydrophobic repulsions. If you were cancer, you could infect me and we could proliferate ALL the time. Since we met, I'm a cell stuck in the G-0 phase and you, you are my p53. You and me, we're like actin and myosin, like dynein and kinesin, we work together to shake it up and down just like a flagella. Together we're like cilia on a power stroke. IT'S SO HOT RIGHT NOW!! We complement each other so well. Will you be the RNA Polymerase to my binding domain? If it were up to me, I'd be your ribosome and clone your mRNA over and over so my proliferating mechanisms could be in overdrive. I absorb you like a chromophore. The conjugated double bonds in my body are made for YOUR wavelength. Come on baby, show me the backside attack!



So, forget about all those silly protonation and deprotonation reactions. We're going to form a covalent bond that not even harsh acids and boiling the heck out of us will destroy.



I'll wait for you at the Nucleus.


This Friday at 2 ;) bring your Organic Chemistry Book.



(Name removed)

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