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Guild of the Quill: Writer's Training (5 Seats Only)


PastaInhaler

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I have decided to start the Guild of the Quill here on Premed101 for those who need help with their writing. There will only be spots for 5 others to join this Guild.

 

To join my Guild, you must not already be a good writer, acknowledged on your honour, and you must not have scored well on practice MCAT essays, or essays in a live MCAT sitting, but you must be enthusiastic and sincere about improving. I will be giving exercises and drills through PM that are geared toward improving your writing skills for the MCAT Writing Sample. It will not guarantee a good score on the MCAT Writing Sample, but if you work at it, in my view, it will definitely prove to be a strong asset. I can't guarantee that you will become a better writer and score higher on the MCAT Writing Sample. All I can do is guide you to best of my abilities. The rest will be upto you. Beyond the training you receive from the Guild, you must practise writing essays, and prepare and study from a database of examples for the writing prompts listed on the AAMC website.

 

If you fail to respond to the drills and exercises in a timely fashion, you are declaring that you wish to leave the Guild, and you will be removed. Another will take your place. I reserve the right to remove any members from the Guild as I see fit. This is not a basic writing course and I assume that all who are interested already have a foundation in writing in English through writing university level essays and having already been exposed to one or two humanities or social sciences courses.

 

To join, send me a PM with your writing experience, whether you have taken a live MCAT or not, and your writing score(s) if you took the MCAT already, and other MCAT essay scores graded by prep companies or similar. There will be priority given to those applying to Ontario schools as these schools have the strictest Writing Sample cutoffs, so indicate which schools you wish to apply to as well. This information will help me to assess who is in greatest need of help since my time may be limited. I will not directly share your information in anyway and it will be held in the strictest confidence. I declare this upon my honour. Though, the information that you send me may possibly be viewed by moderators or the site administrator. Only request to join the Guild and send me such information if you acknowledge this and if you don't have issues with a moderator or the site administrator viewing your details. The selection of the Guild will mostly be on a first-come-first-serve basis, yet I will decide on members if there are extenuating circumstances, or conflicts with requirements. In case there is a lot of demand, my decision on which members to let into the Guild will be final.

 

The drills and exercises may be fun and exciting or they could be tedious and boring. By joining this Guild, you acknowledge this, and you agree that you will still put forth your best effort no matter how difficult or stressful the drills or exercises may seem. You also agree that you will treat other Guild members with courtesy, dignity and respect. Afterall, you have similar goals of wishing to improve yourself in some area and you wish to help other people in some way by embarking on a career in Medicine and therefore, you are kindred spirits in this regard. If you are accepted to the Guild, you agree that you will not share in any way, or any form, either directly, or indirectly, the drills or exercises you are given, or the feedback that I will be giving. This information must be kept confidential. You agree to this on your honour.

 

Requests to join the Guild will be accepted up until June 22, 2011 12:00p.m. EST. No further requests will be reviewed after that date. Although the cutoff date is June 22, 2011, this will be on a first-come-first-serve basis provided you meet the requirements.

 

Someone had asked why I am helping people so much with the Writing Sample.

 

It's possible that I could be deceitful in my grading or trying to lead you astray somehow with my exercises and drills. However, although it may prove advantageous to me in a competitive sense, if you are passionate about Medicine, no matter what I do to try to ruin your writing skills, you will find a way to do well. Therefore, if I am trying to be deceitful, it will turn out to be a waste of my time, and trying to trick you will be bad for me because of this. So don't think I am trying to trip you up because it is simply not the case. And if I wanted to do a disservice, I would inflate the scores I give out for your essays making you think that you are more ready for the Writing Sample than you actually are. I've had to give out K's, L's and M's even though I didn't want to.

 

But, you should also consider that I don't just give out high grades for no reason. I won't just give out a high grade to be nice, though I am nice, but because I don't want anyone to think that they should get a higher score than they would get on a live MCAT. Because if they think this, they may not put work into improving, and will end up scoring poorly on a live MCAT. I don't give out a lot of R's, S's, or T's because I haven't seen a lot of essays that deserve these scores. However, I won't be aversed to giving out super-high grades if it is warranted. There were two or three really good essays that I have graded so far, and they deserve the scores I gave. I will point out mistakes in logic, or issues with responding to tasks, and will give tips and pointers at making better arguments and better essays. You can see by this that my actions are meant only to help you score better on the MCAT Writing Sample. I provide constructive criticisms and pointers that will help you write essays that correspond to what is required of higher-scoring essays. If you think carefully for a minute about my tips and pointers, they actually do make logical sense, so I am not just giving out bad advice to weaken your writing skills.

 

I am sincere about it because I like to help people. It is good to be good and nice to be nice. That's just the type of person I am. I like to help and it makes me feel useful and needed, and it's why I am going into Medicine -to help other people. It's important to help others because sometimes people need help and may not be able to help themselves. Maybe some people have financial problems and they can't afford to take an official course to get their essays graded. I was in this situation myself, and could not afford an official course. The Prep101 guys came on here and gave free essay grading to help me out, and other members here. My services are a nod to their good work and their sacrifice of time and energy to help others. Helping people here is a way for me to pay it forward because other people have helped me out in the past even outside of the Writing Sample. In addition, through my actions (and yours), I can make a positive change, such as by raising money for charity through ripple.org. Thanks again to all of you who continue to click. It's a reminder of how truly blessed we are in North America with all the necessities that we take for granted.

 

Another reason that I am helping this community out is that by grading essays, and starting the Guild of the Quill course, I am distracted from my other tasks and duties; it gives me a break from other things. It does take time out of my busy schedule, but it helps me to be refreshed for other things going on in my life, and it makes my days and weeks a little less boring. It's not always easy to grade essays honestly and properly, nor to create exercises aimed at developing and honing particular writing skills needed to do well on the MCAT Writing Sample. Sometimes, it really wears me out and it can take up a lot of time. But, it is worth it in the end because we may end up colleagues one day, and maybe since you are being helped, you could pay it forward to someone else who needs help.

 

It is good to do good and nice to be nice.

-PastaInhaler

 

 

The Guild:

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quill1.jpg

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-clicked-

 

Thanks for the Help!!:)

 

 

The introduction of modern technologies is harmful to underdeveloped areas of the world.

Describe a specific situation in which the introduction of modern technologies might not be harmful to an underdeveloped area of the world. Discuss what you think determines whether or not the introduction of modern technologies is harmful to underdeveloped areas of the world.

 

Technology is an ever growing product in todays society. It provides an easier and more manageable way of living. Modern technology provide enhanced development in agriculture, health care, government policy, infasructure duties in order to better satesfiy communities, and increases the value of countries towards better attraction in the tourism business and other businesses. An example modern technology can help underdeveloped countries succed in everyday living against other countries, by creating new jobs in order to increase the flow of dollars for other things that are needed for improvements in that area. Also, it increases popularity value for suffecent trade business with other countries who acquire a developed status within their system, and attract potential business corporations and business people to make valuable deals and partnership with underdeveloped areas in improving overall living in that area. These business deals can create improvements to underveloped areas with providing new and very effective water sanitation techology to clean the water sources in which can reduce the increasing amount of illnesses accociated with the dirty water. Also, provided better technology through deals with the health care business can reduce the amount of deaths by lack of valuable medical tools and medicine that could have easily been prevented these diseases.

 

However, there are ways in which modern technology can be harmful to an underdeveloped country. For example war fare technology can be handed to the wrong hands to be misused for the wrong reason. Instead of using the technology for protection of ones country, it can be used wrongly by using it to control a country robbing the people of their freedom. For example in the Rwanda genocide. Rwanda is considered an underdeveloped country and developed countries used that to their advantage by distributing modern technology to the people of rwanda, which later coincided in a hated genocide war against each other killing millions of people.

 

Moreover, technology can be a good thing for underdeveloped areas, for example, by using modern technology to improve the farming business to better establish sufficient food for everyone. Providing better educational system to allow generations to follow in the expansion of the tecnology. Finally modern technology can develop better infastructure for tourism or satisfaction purposes, so the people can know that they can be proud of their countries rapid development with the help of technology.

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-clicked-

 

Thanks for the Help!!:)

 

 

The introduction of modern technologies is harmful to underdeveloped areas of the world.

Describe a specific situation in which the introduction of modern technologies might not be harmful to an underdeveloped area of the world. Discuss what you think determines whether or not the introduction of modern technologies is harmful to underdeveloped areas of the world.

 

Technology is an ever growing product in todays society. It provides an easier and more manageable way of living. Modern technology provide enhanced development in agriculture, health care, government policy, infasructure duties in order to better satesfiy communities, and increases the value of countries towards better attraction in the tourism business and other businesses. An example modern technology can help underdeveloped countries succed in everyday living against other countries, by creating new jobs in order to increase the flow of dollars for other things that are needed for improvements in that area. Also, it increases popularity value for suffecent trade business with other countries who acquire a developed status within their system, and attract potential business corporations and business people to make valuable deals and partnership with underdeveloped areas in improving overall living in that area. These business deals can create improvements to underveloped areas with providing new and very effective water sanitation techology to clean the water sources in which can reduce the increasing amount of illnesses accociated with the dirty water. Also, provided better technology through deals with the health care business can reduce the amount of deaths by lack of valuable medical tools and medicine that could have easily been prevented these diseases.

 

However, there are ways in which modern technology can be harmful to an underdeveloped country. For example war fare technology can be handed to the wrong hands to be misused for the wrong reason. Instead of using the technology for protection of ones country, it can be used wrongly by using it to control a country robbing the people of their freedom. For example in the Rwanda genocide. Rwanda is considered an underdeveloped country and developed countries used that to their advantage by distributing modern technology to the people of rwanda, which later coincided in a hated genocide war against each other killing millions of people.

 

Moreover, technology can be a good thing for underdeveloped areas, for example, by using modern technology to improve the farming business to better establish sufficient food for everyone. Providing better educational system to allow generations to follow in the expansion of the tecnology. Finally modern technology can develop better infastructure for tourism or satisfaction purposes, so the people can know that they can be proud of their countries rapid development with the help of technology.

 

Thank-you for clicking on the ripple.org link. Please repost this essay in the Writer's Corner/Essay Grading thread. The Writer's Corner thread has not been deleted, it has only been stickied by the admin and appears at the top of the list of threads in the MCAT Preparation section of Premed101.

 

The thread you are in now is for skills training. It is intended for the Guild of the Quill activities only. However, I may decide to prepare some drills and exercises for guests/friends of the Guild for public viewing (time permitting).

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I have received a lot of interest already from members for joining the Guild, and the Guild was only started this morning. Here is an exercise that anyone is welcome to try out, something to occupy your time as I am still reviewing applications. Post the entire prompt in your post followed by your response, and I will have a look through. I may or may not provide feedback. Submitted to friends of the Guild:

 

A. Complete the following paragraph by adding 4-6 additional sentences. Stay focussed and stay on topic. Allow yourself 6 minutes 30 seconds to complete this exercise. Include the prompt sentence as the first sentence of your paragraph:

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University.

...

...

...

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I have received a lot of interest already from members for joining the Guild, and the Guild was only started this morning. Here is an exercise that anyone is welcome to try out, something to occupy your time as I am still reviewing applications. Post the entire prompt in your post followed by your response, and I will have a look through. I may or may not provide feedback. Submitted to friends of the Guild:

 

A. Complete the following paragraph by adding 4-6 additional sentences. Stay focussed and stay on topic. Allow yourself 6 minutes 30 seconds to complete this exercise. Include the prompt sentence as the first sentence of your paragraph:

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University.

...

...

...

 

Here is my response:

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. It is a way for admission committee members to assess an applicant in terms of their ability to think critically and communicate effectively in a written form while being under time pressure. Such qualities are essential for a physician to be successful in his/her profession. More specifically, the field of medicine requires physicians to collaborate with one another and work together as a team. Moreover, the overall structure and requirement of the MCAT writing sample are also quite interesting it requires the test taker to play the role of a mediator and assess a given situation from both sides. As such, this is highly reflective of the way in which physicians are required to deal with patients and their situations/conditions on a day to day basis. Thus, effective communication skills are greatly required and the MCAT writing sample serves as an example of an applicant’s ability to write effectively.

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Here is my response:

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. It is a way for admission committee members to assess an applicant in terms of their ability to think critically and communicate effectively in a written form while being under time pressure. Such qualities are essential for a physician to be successful in his/her profession. More specifically, the field of medicine requires physicians to collaborate with one another and work together as a team. Moreover, the overall structure and requirement of the MCAT writing sample are also quite interesting it requires the test taker to play the role of a mediator and assess a given situation from both sides. As such, this is highly reflective of the way in which physicians are required to deal with patients and their situations/conditions on a day to day basis. Thus, effective communication skills are greatly required and the MCAT writing sample serves as an example of an applicant’s ability to write effectively.

 

Thank-you for posting. Good job.

 

Is there a sentence that you think you can delete altogether, and the effect of the paragraph will remain unchanged? If this sentence were removed, do you think it is possible that the essay would improve in coherence? If so, which sentence would this be?

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The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. Previously, medical schools could gauge an applicant's writing skills through an essay as part of the application process. Unfortunately, these application essays were often edited very heavily by proof-reading services. Some applicants even purchased completed essays from writers and submitted the essays as their own. The MCAT exam is administered in a highly regulated environment, and it is nearly impossible to cheat. Therefore, the MCAT writing sample offers medical school admissions committees a clear assessment of the applicants' writing skills.

 

It was tough to write in 6:30. I am not very happy with this paragraph!

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The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. Previously, medical schools could gauge an applicant's writing skills through an essay as part of the application process. Unfortunately, these application essays were often edited very heavily by proof-reading services. Some applicants even purchased completed essays from writers and submitted the essays as their own. The MCAT exam is administered in a highly regulated environment, and it is nearly impossible to cheat. Therefore, the MCAT writing sample offers medical school admissions committees a clear assessment of the applicants' writing skills.

 

It was tough to write in 6:30. I am not very happy with this paragraph!

 

Good. Objective complete.

 

P.S. I've received your PM.

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B. Submitted to friends of the Guild. Guild applicants may take their hand at these questions too and post their answers in this thread.

 

Answer the following according to the instructions and time limits given. If you finish any questions early, the extra time cannot be used for answering other questions. Stay within the time limit given for each question. You may or may not receive feedback, but your answers will be read. Try to do these in one sitting, but if you cannot, answer the first two questions, and answer the remaining two questions together sometime later, but not too much later.

---

i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences. You must include the word 'heart' at least once in your paragraph.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

(5 min 30 seconds) (3-4 sentences)

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

(7 min 30 seconds)

(5-8 sentences)

---

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Thank-you for posting. Good job.

 

Is there a sentence that you think you can delete altogether, and the effect of the paragraph will remain unchanged? If this sentence were removed, do you think it is possible that the essay would improve in coherence? If so, which sentence would this be?

 

Thanks PastaInhaler for taking a look at it!

 

I think that the sentence "More specifically, the field of medicine requires physicians to collaborate with one another and work together as a team." can be removed as it is sort of a repetition of what was already said in the previous sentence.

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Thanks PastaInhaler for taking a look at it!

 

I think that the sentence "More specifically, the field of medicine requires physicians to collaborate with one another and work together as a team." can be removed as it is sort of a repetition of what was already said in the previous sentence.

 

Good job. You are correct, but for the wrong reason. That particular sentence doesn't repeat what was said in a previous sentence, but it expands on it, thereby taking your paragraph off into a whole other direction. Removing it will improve coherence because it keeps your paragraph focussed on the original topic.

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Thanks for posting these exercises! They are very helpful!

 

A. Complete the following paragraph by adding 4-6 additional sentences. Stay focussed and stay on topic. Allow yourself 6 minutes 30 seconds to complete this exercise. Include the prompt sentence as the first sentence of your paragraph:

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University.

...

...

...

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. It is useful in assessing a student's ability to think critically and their ability to reason through arguments. The writing sample shows how students are able to express themselves in a clear and concise manor, given a time restraint. The skills the writing sample section tests are a good indicator of specific qualities that a doctor should possess. It is with these reasons as to why the Writing Sample on the MCAT is an important section for universities such as Queen's to assess a students suitability as a doctor.

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Thanks again for doing this! I found it was really difficult to communicate my ideas given the time constraint. I am not very happy with the first couple of responses.

 

Answer the following according to the instructions and time limits given. If you finish any questions early, the extra time cannot be used for answering other questions. Stay within the time limit given for each question. You may or may not receive feedback, but your answers will be read. Try to do these in one sitting, but if you cannot, answer the first two questions, and answer the remaining two questions together sometime later, but not too much later.

---

i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

 

The heart is the most important organ in the body for numerous reasons. It is the regulator for the pathways that transport particles to the rest of the body. The heart pumps blood to the body in order to deliver oxygen, so our cells can stay alive. Without this blood, our cells would not get the oxygen they needed to conduct aerobic respiration. Without the heart, our bodies would not have an energy to survive.

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

 

The brain is the control center for the body, like a hard drive is to a computer. It controls everything, from automatic functions like breathing to voluntary functions like running. Without the brain, we would be empty shells of skin and bones, like having the wood to build a house but no instructions on how to build it. It is with the brain's interactions with other organs, such as the heart, that allows it to control every organ in the body. This is why it is the most important organ in the human body.

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

 

Technology is the advancement of human inventions, in hopes of making life easier. Science is used to create devices that allow a task to be completed with greater ease, for example, a business man can now have a meeting in his office with his colleagues from around the world using a computer. It is with these devices that allow societies to have more reliance on technology and have it as a necessary part of most people's lives.

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

 

Technology is the advancement of human inventions, in hopes of making life easier. However, it has been shown that technology can actually cause more problems than it can solve. This can be seen in the example of cell phone use in vehicles. Using a cell phone while driving has been a huge issue in society with their advancements in the past decade. The use of cell phones while driving has lead to many accidents and unfortunate deaths due to their distracting quality. It is clear in this example that the use of cell phones while driving has been unsuccessful, even with the recent invention of hands-free devices, due to the fact that talking to someone while driving is still distracting, even if it is hands-free. This example shows how the advancement of technology can actually lead to problems instead of fulfilling the goal it initially had of making life easier.

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i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences.

 

It is unarguable that the heart is very important physiologically; however, the heart holds it's most special status as a symbol. Through human history, the heart has been regarded as the most important organ in the body. Until recent centuries, the heart was considered the seat of the soul and the brain was believed to be nearly useless. The heart still has a strong symbolic value and is most commonly associated with love.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences. You must include the word 'heart' at least once in your paragraph.

 

The body functions as a synergistic whole, and the brain manages and directs the majority of the details. This role alone would make the brain the most important organ in the human body; however, the brain is responsible for even more. Human conciousness and emotion are facilitated by the brain. These elusive qualities were historically believed to be the domain of the heart. But modern science has taught us the the heart is nothing more than a pump. Indeed, we know today that the brain is the house of the soul.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

(5 min 30 seconds) (3-4 sentences)

 

Humans are not unique in their ability to use tools; however, the human race has taken tool use to a much higher level than any other species. The development and use of tools has facilitated and fostered the evolution of the human species. Technology simply refers to 'tools', and the specific definition changes as tools become more complex. In prehistory, technology would include spear tips, hide cleaning tools and the like. Today, technology refers to advanced electronic devices such as computers.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

(7 min 30 seconds)

(5-8 sentences)

 

People are often over dependant on technology, and many devices actually cause more problems than are solved. Take, for example, cellular phones. Most individuals in western societies are now fully dependant on these devices. It is easy to forget that only three decades ago, cellular phones did not exist. Today, people have become highly accustomed to instantaneous communication, but this is only a recent development. In fact, cellular phones are actually very harmful. A recent study suggests that cellular phone use may be carcinogenic. Further, a growing body of research indicates that cellular phones are very dangerous when combined with driving. It has been found that cellular phone use can impair the driver as much as alcohol. Cellular phones have caused many deaths, and despite the sentiments some teenagers, are not essential. In many ways, this technology has caused more problems than it has solved. (I wrote this in 8:30 , I forgot to look at my clock)

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Technology is the advancement of human inventions, in hopes of making life easier. However, it has been shown that technology can actually cause more problems than it can solve. This can be seen in the example of cell phone use in vehicles. Using a cell phone while driving has been a huge issue in society with their advancements in the past decade. The use of cell phones while driving has lead to many accidents and unfortunate deaths due to their distracting quality. It is clear in this example that the use of cell phones while driving has been unsuccessful, even with the recent invention of hands-free devices, due to the fact that talking to someone while driving is still distracting, even if it is hands-free. This example shows how the advancement of technology can actually lead to problems instead of fulfilling the goal it initially had of making life easier.

 

:D I went back and read your post (for this first time) after I finished my exercise and we used the same example. That's funny. :)

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The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. It is a better alternative to having applicants submit essays for review by the admissions committees, since the MCAT is taken in an environment which is monitored by proctors and CCTV cameras in order to prevent cheating. As a result, the admission committee can be sure that the MCAT Writing Sample reflects the writing abilities of the applicant themself, and not another individual who may have written the applicant’s essay for them, had applicants been required to submit essays to the admissions committee.

 

Thanks Pasta!

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i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences.

The heart is the most important organ in the human body as it is the point from which blood is distributed outwards to the remainder of the body. The blood pumped to the body contains material essential for the survival of the cells in the human body. While some may argue that the brain is the most vital organ in the human body, without the heart pumping blood to the brain, brain cells would die from hypoxia among other things. Conversely, the heart is not dependent on the brain in the same way. The human heart can survive and beat on its own in the absence of neural inputs and control from the brain.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences. You must include the word 'heart' at least once in your paragraph.

The brain is the most important organ in the body as it allows us formulate original thoughts. These thoughts are what philosophers consider essential to human existence, as summarised by the famous phrase “I think, therefore I am.” While some may argue that the heart is the most important organ in the human body, living with a heart and without any brain functionality is devoid of being able to formulate any original thoughts. This is most akin to the state of coma, which many would consider a state of temporary death.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

(5 min 30 seconds) (3-4 sentences)

Technology is that which improves the human experience in a physical sense. It increases the degree of freedom with which one may perform a physical task, such as communicating with others. For example, the telephone allowed people to communicate with others on the opposite end of the country, and Bluetooth handsets allow people to speak on their cell phones, while keeping their hands free for to perform other tasks.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

(7 min 30 seconds)

(5-8 sentences)

With the introduction of any new technology comes a number of problems, many of which that are not addressed by those who stand to profit from the technology. These problems are generally experienced on an individual level, from where these individuals have no platform to voice their objections to the broader world. The best example of this is with the advent of the atomic bomb during World War II. During the end stages of World War II, the president of the United States ordered an atomic bomb to be dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. Within moments of the bomb exploding, hundreds of thousands of Japanese civilians were killed. These civilians had no chance to voice their objection to the bomb.

 

Thanks Pasta. I forgot how much I really suck at WS. I hope I have enough time to improve!

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I have received a lot of interest already from members for joining the Guild, and the Guild was only started this morning. Here is an exercise that anyone is welcome to try out, something to occupy your time as I am still reviewing applications. Post the entire prompt in your post followed by your response, and I will have a look through. I may or may not provide feedback. Submitted to friends of the Guild:

 

A. Complete the following paragraph by adding 4-6 additional sentences. Stay focussed and stay on topic. Allow yourself 6 minutes 30 seconds to complete this exercise. Include the prompt sentence as the first sentence of your paragraph:

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University.

...

...

...

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission comittees such as Queen's University because it challenges a student to think critically about a statement and to find examples under which the conditions are true. Furthermore, this allows readers to assess a candidates ability to think about a situation, and synthesize a clear unified argument in response to the statement. This is an especially utmost important skill that is necessary for in medicine, as the ability to think quickly and communicate in a clear and concise manner facilitates a better physician and patient relationship. Thus the ability to demonstrate such adept communication and critical thinking skills may be a good predictor of the many qualities sought by medical admission committees of a great physician.

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Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences.

The heart is a quintessential organ in our body because it consistently provides blood to all our organs and body parts through our body. Blood is the medium which contains the nutrients and nourishment for our cells, and helps to continue to grow, develop, and maintain their healthy form. Additionally, the blood is also responsible for delivering oxygen to all parts of the body, and as humans we are aeorbic organisms which depend on oxygen to survive. The heart provides a steady source of oxygen which helps power our cell, and without such a vital organ, our body will cease to function. This is not more evident as patients without a pulse are considered dead. Therefore the healthy functioninig of the heart - the ability to pump blood and nourish the whole body with oxygen and nutrients is the reason why it is the most important organ in the body.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences. You must include the word 'heart' at least once in your paragraph.

The brain is the most important organ in the human body, because it directs all our decisions, whether that be voluntary or involuntary. The ability to breathe - although that is governed by the sympathetic system - is controlled by our brain. In a movie, every show needs a director who makes the most important decisions, what needs to be done, and what takes precedence. Similarily, the brain is like the director of the movie, which helps organize how things are done and is necessary for full functioning of the body. Surely, it can be argued that there are important roles to be played by organs such as the heart, or even liver. However, these organ systems are only secondary to the role of the brain, which coordinates all these actions, and communicates between different organs. We can imagine that the heart is an essential character of a movie, and in the absence of, the plot cease the exist. Additionally, the brain is responsible for many of the processes that we are free to do in daily life, but do not recognize. The ability to control our emotions, to interact with different objects and people, and so forth - would cease to exist without such a governing body to do so. In conclusion, the brain is the most important organ in the body for the aforementioned reasons above.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

(5 min 30 seconds) (3-4 sentences)

Technology is the advancement of instruments and tools in human civilization. Thousands of years ago, men considered fire to be the epitome of technology, for they could harvest the energy for warmth and use it to cook food. Nowadays, technolgoy is more loosely defined - encompassing anything that ameliorates the conditions of everyday life. We define the invention of computers to be technology, as it has made it easier to access information from around the world, and allowed us to store and collect information more readily. Furthermore, the invention of the modern day cell phone, say a blackberry for instance has greatly simplified the way in which humans have conversations with each other, with the increased frequency of usage of text. But in general, we define technology to be something which improves or refines previous knowledge.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

(7 min 30 seconds)

(5-8 sentences)

The advent of technology has greatly complicated more problems than it simplified. The invention of more powerful weapons, such as nuclear bombs have proved to create problems, as seen previously in the standoff between Russia and United States during the Cold War, and currently, the UN views (North?) Korea a threat because of the potential nuclear warheads that it alledgedly claims. The function of these new technologies are surpassing previous, and they are proving to become more destructive and hurtful with advancing technology. The descructive capabilities have chagned from destroying a small village, to destroying an entire city of a 5 mile radius. In this case, when technology is used for war, new technologies tend to cause more problems than they solve because they jepordize the safety and freedom of the citizens living in many countries who fear. This leads to strife among countries in an attempt to secure their citizen's own freedom and safety.

 

 

 

Thanks,

 

This is probably pretty bad.

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Thanks for posting these exercises! They are very helpful!

 

 

 

The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. It is useful in assessing a student's ability to think critically and their ability to reason through arguments. The writing sample shows how students are able to express themselves in a clear and concise manor, given a time restraint. The skills the writing sample section tests are a good indicator of specific qualities that a doctor should possess. It is with these reasons as to why the Writing Sample on the MCAT is an important section for universities such as Queen's to assess a students suitability as a doctor.

 

You're welcome.

 

Good. Objectives complete.

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Thanks again for doing this! I found it was really difficult to communicate my ideas given the time constraint. I am not very happy with the first couple of responses.

 

Answer the following according to the instructions and time limits given. If you finish any questions early, the extra time cannot be used for answering other questions. Stay within the time limit given for each question. You may or may not receive feedback, but your answers will be read. Try to do these in one sitting, but if you cannot, answer the first two questions, and answer the remaining two questions together sometime later, but not too much later.

---

i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

 

The heart is the most important organ in the body for numerous reasons. It is the regulator for the pathways that transport particles to the rest of the body. The heart pumps blood to the body in order to deliver oxygen, so our cells can stay alive. Without this blood, our cells would not get the oxygen they needed to conduct aerobic respiration. Without the heart, our bodies would not have an energy to survive.

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

 

The brain is the control center for the body, like a hard drive is to a computer. It controls everything, from automatic functions like breathing to voluntary functions like running. Without the brain, we would be empty shells of skin and bones, like having the wood to build a house but no instructions on how to build it. It is with the brain's interactions with other organs, such as the heart, that allows it to control every organ in the body. This is why it is the most important organ in the human body.

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

 

Technology is the advancement of human inventions, in hopes of making life easier. Science is used to create devices that allow a task to be completed with greater ease, for example, a business man can now have a meeting in his office with his colleagues from around the world using a computer. It is with these devices that allow societies to have more reliance on technology and have it as a necessary part of most people's lives.

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

 

Technology is the advancement of human inventions, in hopes of making life easier. However, it has been shown that technology can actually cause more problems than it can solve. This can be seen in the example of cell phone use in vehicles. Using a cell phone while driving has been a huge issue in society with their advancements in the past decade. The use of cell phones while driving has lead to many accidents and unfortunate deaths due to their distracting quality. It is clear in this example that the use of cell phones while driving has been unsuccessful, even with the recent invention of hands-free devices, due to the fact that talking to someone while driving is still distracting, even if it is hands-free. This example shows how the advancement of technology can actually lead to problems instead of fulfilling the goal it initially had of making life easier.

 

You're welcome, glad you like the exercises.

Good answers.

 

The time constraints are very specific. During the live MCAT, you will feel a little bit more stressed out than you are at home, or on a library computer. The time constraints will seem that much more painful. The best way I can replicate that is to give slightly tighter than usual time constraints. This will keep people on their toes and under pressure with a certain level of testing stress, but there is an expectation that the ideas must come out despite this pressure (free flow expression). It's not meant to be comfortable, but that's what makes it so instructive and so valuable. Don't worry about time constraints, they are tight, but manageable, and if you finish on time, you finish on time, and if you don't, you don't. You just have to keep in mind that there will be more exercises and challenges, and it's okay to mess up sometimes. However, you will get better over time, and it's better for you come exam time because you will be accustomed to creating and expressing ideas under various pressures.

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i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences.

 

It is unarguable that the heart is very important physiologically; however, the heart holds it's most special status as a symbol. Through human history, the heart has been regarded as the most important organ in the body. Until recent centuries, the heart was considered the seat of the soul and the brain was believed to be nearly useless. The heart still has a strong symbolic value and is most commonly associated with love.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences. You must include the word 'heart' at least once in your paragraph.

 

The body functions as a synergistic whole, and the brain manages and directs the majority of the details. This role alone would make the brain the most important organ in the human body; however, the brain is responsible for even more. Human conciousness and emotion are facilitated by the brain. These elusive qualities were historically believed to be the domain of the heart. But modern science has taught us the the heart is nothing more than a pump. Indeed, we know today that the brain is the house of the soul.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

(5 min 30 seconds) (3-4 sentences)

 

Humans are not unique in their ability to use tools; however, the human race has taken tool use to a much higher level than any other species. The development and use of tools has facilitated and fostered the evolution of the human species. Technology simply refers to 'tools', and the specific definition changes as tools become more complex. In prehistory, technology would include spear tips, hide cleaning tools and the like. Today, technology refers to advanced electronic devices such as computers.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

(7 min 30 seconds)

(5-8 sentences)

 

People are often over dependant on technology, and many devices actually cause more problems than are solved. Take, for example, cellular phones. Most individuals in western societies are now fully dependant on these devices. It is easy to forget that only three decades ago, cellular phones did not exist. Today, people have become highly accustomed to instantaneous communication, but this is only a recent development. In fact, cellular phones are actually very harmful. A recent study suggests that cellular phone use may be carcinogenic. Further, a growing body of research indicates that cellular phones are very dangerous when combined with driving. It has been found that cellular phone use can impair the driver as much as alcohol. Cellular phones have caused many deaths, and despite the sentiments some teenagers, are not essential. In many ways, this technology has caused more problems than it has solved. (I wrote this in 8:30 , I forgot to look at my clock)

 

Good. Objectives completed.

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The MCAT Writing Sample is a useful tool for medical school admission committees such as Queen's University. It is a better alternative to having applicants submit essays for review by the admissions committees, since the MCAT is taken in an environment which is monitored by proctors and CCTV cameras in order to prevent cheating. As a result, the admission committee can be sure that the MCAT Writing Sample reflects the writing abilities of the applicant themself, and not another individual who may have written the applicant’s essay for them, had applicants been required to submit essays to the admissions committee.

 

Thanks Pasta!

 

You're welcome Capnamerica.

 

Good. Objectives completed.

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i. Why is the heart the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences.

The heart is the most important organ in the human body as it is the point from which blood is distributed outwards to the remainder of the body. The blood pumped to the body contains material essential for the survival of the cells in the human body. While some may argue that the brain is the most vital organ in the human body, without the heart pumping blood to the brain, brain cells would die from hypoxia among other things. Conversely, the heart is not dependent on the brain in the same way. The human heart can survive and beat on its own in the absence of neural inputs and control from the brain.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

ii. Why is the brain the most important organ in the human body?

(5 min 30 seconds)

Answer this question in one paragraph around 4-5 sentences. You must include the word 'heart' at least once in your paragraph.

The brain is the most important organ in the body as it allows us formulate original thoughts. These thoughts are what philosophers consider essential to human existence, as summarised by the famous phrase “I think, therefore I am.” While some may argue that the heart is the most important organ in the human body, living with a heart and without any brain functionality is devoid of being able to formulate any original thoughts. This is most akin to the state of coma, which many would consider a state of temporary death.

 

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iii. What is technology? Describe what you think is meant by the term 'technology.'

(5 min 30 seconds) (3-4 sentences)

Technology is that which improves the human experience in a physical sense. It increases the degree of freedom with which one may perform a physical task, such as communicating with others. For example, the telephone allowed people to communicate with others on the opposite end of the country, and Bluetooth handsets allow people to speak on their cell phones, while keeping their hands free for to perform other tasks.

--- 20 second break, look away from the screen and keyboard, relax, take a few breaths--

 

iv. Defend this point: "New technologies actually prove to cause more problems than they solve." Explain and defend this point, and provide an example to help you defend your position.

(7 min 30 seconds)

(5-8 sentences)

With the introduction of any new technology comes a number of problems, many of which that are not addressed by those who stand to profit from the technology. These problems are generally experienced on an individual level, from where these individuals have no platform to voice their objections to the broader world. The best example of this is with the advent of the atomic bomb during World War II. During the end stages of World War II, the president of the United States ordered an atomic bomb to be dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. Within moments of the bomb exploding, hundreds of thousands of Japanese civilians were killed. These civilians had no chance to voice their objection to the bomb.

 

Thanks Pasta. I forgot how much I really suck at WS. I hope I have enough time to improve!

 

You're welcome. Improvement is very possible.

 

Good. Objectives completed.

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