Just Need some opinions (NOT about medicine)

[med_failure]

**** happens in life all the time. What do you guys think I should have done last night.

 

 

The story goes:

 

So I was over at my girlfriend's. She rents 1 room in a house with the landlord living in the basement and a bunch of other girls in the house with shared washroom and kitchen. I went over to her place 2 days ago stayed there in her room quietly studying as we both have exams this week. Then last night her landlord comes up 1:30 am in the morning for absolutely no reason knocked on her door and asking me to leave (we were sleeping at the time and she knew I was there earlier that day as well). Her reason being she only rents the room to her so she can't bring anyone else in the room w/o her permission. So I argued with her since there's nothing on her lease saying that she can't bring guests over. Only clause regarding guest policy was that if the guest stays over for more than 3 nights then additional 50 dollars will be charged towards that month and I was only there for 2 nights so far and I can assure you that every time when I even talk with normal volume my gf shushes me and I only whispered definitely didn't use the kitchener at all and did NOT disturb any of the other tenets as I am friends with some of them too. So back to the story, I got quite frustrated with the landlord for laying all that BS on my gf ALL the time and I thought it's my right to stay there over as a guest and the landlord was yelling like a maniac and about to grab my shirt and throw me out so I called 911. What baffles me is the reaction from the cops.

 

There's 2 of them one playing the good cop the other guy playing the bad cop or just is one. He said it's stupid to call 911 over this and they have better things to do (Ok I dunno about you guys but I ain't a law student or lawyer in that matter how do I know when would be right to call 911? to me this is domestic dispute and cops do take care of those things as it turned out they did have to do SOMEthing about it). So without any investigation he said well if I were u when the landlord says you can't stay no questions asked you gotta leave. The other guy said well I know how frustrating this is I have been through it myself with my own gf and I gotta put up with that **** and kiss ass to stay etc etc. So in the end I was kicked out last night (Not a big deal I got a nice condo in downtown toronto so it was a 20 min drive but I just felt bad and thought my right was being violated there) However I am not a professional in this area therefore I had no choice and nothing to argue back with the cops.

 

My question for you smart meds and premeds what could I have done better? What would you have done in that situation? Thanks, I needed to vent!

[notjk]

**** happens in life all the time. What do you guys think I should have done last night.

 

 

The story goes:

 

So I was over at my girlfriend's. She rents 1 room in a house with the landlord living in the basement and a bunch of other girls in the house with shared washroom and kitchen. I went over to her place 2 days ago stayed there in her room quietly studying as we both have exams this week. Then last night her landlord comes up 1:30 am in the morning for absolutely no reason knocked on her door and asking me to leave (we were sleeping at the time and she knew I was there earlier that day as well). Her reason being she only rents the room to her so she can't bring anyone else in the room w/o her permission. So I argued with her since there's nothing on her lease saying that she can't bring guests over. Only clause regarding guest policy was that if the guest stays over for more than 3 nights then additional 50 dollars will be charged towards that month and I was only there for 2 nights so far and I can assure you that every time when I even talk with normal volume my gf shushes me and I only whispered definitely didn't use the kitchener at all and did NOT disturb any of the other tenets as I am friends with some of them too. So back to the story, I got quite frustrated with the landlord for laying all that BS on my gf ALL the time and I thought it's my right to stay there over as a guest and the landlord was yelling like a maniac and about to grab my shirt and throw me out so I called 911. What baffles me is the reaction from the cops.

 

There's 2 of them one playing the good cop the other guy playing the bad cop or just is one. He said it's stupid to call 911 over this and they have better things to do (Ok I dunno about you guys but I ain't a law student or lawyer in that matter how do I know when would be right to call 911? to me this is domestic dispute and cops do take care of those things as it turned out they did have to do SOMEthing about it). So without any investigation he said well if I were u when the landlord says you can't stay no questions asked you gotta leave. The other guy said well I know how frustrating this is I have been through it myself with my own gf and I gotta put up with that **** and kiss ass to stay etc etc. So in the end I was kicked out last night (Not a big deal I got a nice condo in downtown toronto so it was a 20 min drive but I just felt bad and thought my right was being violated there) However I am not a professional in this area therefore I had no choice and nothing to argue back with the cops.

 

My question for you smart meds and premeds what could I have done better? What would you have done in that situation? Thanks, I needed to vent!

 

I would be quite irritated, but reflecting on this I would have just left, after all in the end your gf would have to deal with the landlord right? I guess the good cop did give solid advice?

[MrsSnrub]

**** happens in life all the time. What do you guys think I should have done last night.

 

 

The story goes:

 

So I was over at my girlfriend's. She rents 1 room in a house with the landlord living in the basement and a bunch of other girls in the house with shared washroom and kitchen. I went over to her place 2 days ago stayed there in her room quietly studying as we both have exams this week. Then last night her landlord comes up 1:30 am in the morning for absolutely no reason knocked on her door and asking me to leave (we were sleeping at the time and she knew I was there earlier that day as well). Her reason being she only rents the room to her so she can't bring anyone else in the room w/o her permission. So I argued with her since there's nothing on her lease saying that she can't bring guests over. Only clause regarding guest policy was that if the guest stays over for more than 3 nights then additional 50 dollars will be charged towards that month and I was only there for 2 nights so far and I can assure you that every time when I even talk with normal volume my gf shushes me and I only whispered definitely didn't use the kitchener at all and did NOT disturb any of the other tenets as I am friends with some of them too. So back to the story, I got quite frustrated with the landlord for laying all that BS on my gf ALL the time and I thought it's my right to stay there over as a guest and the landlord was yelling like a maniac and about to grab my shirt and throw me out so I called 911. What baffles me is the reaction from the cops.

 

There's 2 of them one playing the good cop the other guy playing the bad cop or just is one. He said it's stupid to call 911 over this and they have better things to do (Ok I dunno about you guys but I ain't a law student or lawyer in that matter how do I know when would be right to call 911? to me this is domestic dispute and cops do take care of those things as it turned out they did have to do SOMEthing about it). So without any investigation he said well if I were u when the landlord says you can't stay no questions asked you gotta leave. The other guy said well I know how frustrating this is I have been through it myself with my own gf and I gotta put up with that **** and kiss ass to stay etc etc. So in the end I was kicked out last night (Not a big deal I got a nice condo in downtown toronto so it was a 20 min drive but I just felt bad and thought my right was being violated there) However I am not a professional in this area therefore I had no choice and nothing to argue back with the cops.

 

My question for you smart meds and premeds what could I have done better? What would you have done in that situation? Thanks, I needed to vent!

 

 

Whoa...that's the craziest landlord I've ever heard of. I've never even know anyone to have a guest clause like that. Is this a student house? If it is, your girlfriend should go to her school's off-campus resource centre (I think most schools have this) with a copy of her lease and go over the story. The people there know these laws in and out and can probably better advise her than most people here. I feel bad for you though, that sounds completely unreasonable.

[future_doc]

Your situation breaks down into two basic parts,

 

A] practical, which is the most imporant and

 

B] legal and you don't to go down that road b/c it is not practical.

 

I will deal with B first! As the lease clarly states that if the guest stays over for more than 3 nights then additional 50 dollars will be charged towards that month, it is crystal clear that your g/f has the right for sleepovers! End of story.

 

Had you tried to enforce your right to remain, likely both you and the landlady would have needed expensive criminal lawayers to get you released from jail and to represent each of you being charged with assault. This is leaving aside the acrimony to your poor g/f who needs to study and wants no part of this b.s. regardless of who is right and who is wrong. Plus, the added drama to the other tenants is distrupting. And of course, who the he** are you to argue with the landlady, itis not your lease etc and you are thre prime csause of this disturbance regardless of whether you are right or wrong - yes, I know the landlady started it but after all, it is her place and her mistaken/misguided viewpoint is that she is enfocring her rights - the real story is she hates your guts and does not want to give you peace under her roof, using any pretext, but that ius another story for another day.

 

Now lets go to the practical solutions. Neither you nor your g/f nor the others need this b.s. You have a lovely condo. Study there with your g/f, she should be sleeping over there, end of story. Oh, and don't even bother to try to sleep over there again - you already know what you are in for! Why not move her into your condo? Not ready for it yet? Or one of you isn't? Too bad, but you can no longer comfortably poop on your g/f's doorstep b/c of all the drama that is going to occur regularly. Life does not work as we wish. It is what it is. You cannot have it your way in every respect. Adjust, be flexible to the facts on ther ground or dirive yourself and everybody else crazy. Next question? BTW, you gave the answer in the question, it is straightforwad logic and no lawyer is required. As an aside, most lawyers are incompetent, but that is a story for another day. Yes, I know your family members or anybody elses' family members who are lawyers are competent. I understand.

 

P.S. I am your g/f's landlady, I hate your guts, jk, stay away, lol!!

[med_failure]

Whoa...that's the craziest landlord I've ever heard of. I've never even know anyone to have a guest clause like that. Is this a student house? If it is, your girlfriend should go to her school's off-campus resource centre (I think most schools have this) with a copy of her lease and go over the story. The people there know these laws in and out and can probably better advise her than most people here. I feel bad for you though, that sounds completely unreasonable.

 

Nah it's off campus. So not much can be done. Also the one cop really has problems. He treated us like kids. For a person who's going to get his MD in 2 years should not be treated like a kid. I am mature enough to make decisions. Today I just found out he talked to my gf saying that u r 20 and I am 40 I am like your dad how would ur parents feel about u spending the night with a guy? Your parents would be ashamed of u. This happened when I walked outside the door with the other cop. When I heard this I feel insulted. It's none of his effing business to make such comments. For all we know my gf parents love me like a son! Also his earlier comments saying it's stupid to call the cops over this kinda stuff so with his logic can I also say that 90% of the patients r stupid to go to the ER bc they just got a cold or something even self limiting? (ofc I won't do that I will always hold my professional standards). I am not an expertise in that area so when I feel something's not right and also possibly dangerous to me, who am I supposed to call?

[med_failure]

Also for f_d thank you for your response. The cops didn't ask anything just started blaming us for calling 911 and said he doesn't care what the lease says. Then asked to see the lease (illogical right?) after reading through he just mumbled and said well still when the landlord says u gotta leave u gotta leave doesnt matter what the lease says. Now the more I think about what happened last night the more I believe what my gf told me before (I didn't mention before but she said the landlords husband has some buddies in the force in this area) I didn't think it was true but looking at the cops behaviour I couldn't help but doubting it. Btw people in that house called the cops for similar reasons before and cops came and did nothing. So I dunno what's going on. I am thinking just let it go for now. I got lots of work as a med student no time to dwell on such none sense. More vent thanks for listening guys!

[future_doc]

........

[Jochi1543]

Just a thought - maybe the other girls who share the space felt uncomfortable with you there. I had a ridiculous situation once where I was house-sitting for someone for several months and at the last moment they asked me if it'd be ok for another girl to stay at the house because she was an international student and had nowhere to go. I said, of course - it was a 3-level house, so it didn't really make much difference to me. Anyway, one weekend my boyfriend wanted to stay over, so I asked her if it'd be ok with her. She said it wasn't a problem. Next thing you know, I get called into the office by the Dean of Residence (I worked for them at the time) where I'm lectured about how it's so incredibly inappropriate of me to have a guy stay over there when this girl is also staying at the house. I am not even going to talk about how awkward and inappropriate it was for me to even have this conversation with her, but apparently AFTER I was told by this girl that it'd be perfectly fine if my boyfriend stayed there, she went and complained to someone about it, who then decided to complain to the Dean of Residence (!!!!). First off, my immediate boss had to go tell this woman that it was completely inappropriate for her to call me into her office about it as it wasn't even campus property. Second, I had to listen to some lecture about how just because a person says it's ok, it apparently isn't. Third, we were barely even there - and I had originally done that girl a favor by letting her stay there even though the original agreement was that it'd be just me. Total nightmare!

 

 

 

....and that's why I bought a place when I started med - I had had enough of landlords, roommates who say one thing and do another, etc, etc.

[Cnussey]

There are good cops and bad cops. I just ended a horrific marriage and my husband should actually be in jail for...well, everything. I can attest that, even when you know the best thing to do is call the cops...you might get a "I could care less that you're bleeding" cop on duty answer. If you think it's right, call. It's better to be safe and call and probably be embarrassed than to be sorry, like I am, that you didn't call when you really should have.

[med_failure]

Just a thought - maybe the other girls who share the space felt uncomfortable with you there. I had a ridiculous situation once where I was house-sitting for someone for several months and at the last moment they asked me if it'd be ok for another girl to stay at the house because she was an international student and had nowhere to go. I said, of course - it was a 3-level house, so it didn't really make much difference to me. Anyway, one weekend my boyfriend wanted to stay over, so I asked her if it'd be ok with her. She said it wasn't a problem. Next thing you know, I get called into the office by the Dean of Residence (I worked for them at the time) where I'm lectured about how it's so incredibly inappropriate of me to have a guy stay over there when this girl is also staying at the house. I am not even going to talk about how awkward and inappropriate it was for me to even have this conversation with her, but apparently AFTER I was told by this girl that it'd be perfectly fine if my boyfriend stayed there, she went and complained to someone about it, who then decided to complain to the Dean of Residence (!!!!). First off, my immediate boss had to go tell this woman that it was completely inappropriate for her to call me into her office about it as it wasn't even campus property. Second, I had to listen to some lecture about how just because a person says it's ok, it apparently isn't. Third, we were barely even there - and I had originally done that girl a favor by letting her stay there even though the original agreement was that it'd be just me. Total nightmare!

 

 

 

....and that's why I bought a place when I started med - I had had enough of landlords, roommates who say one thing and do another, etc, etc.

 

Could be. Who knows what people might think they might be nice and all cool with u and then go behind your back and tell on u. Anyway already own a place in downtown toronto so I will never again put up with **** in that house. My gf is moving out of that **** hole as well. Venting does make one feel better

[med_failure]

There are good cops and bad cops. I just ended a horrific marriage and my husband should actually be in jail for...well, everything. I can attest that, even when you know the best thing to do is call the cops...you might get a "I could care less that you're bleeding" cop on duty answer. If you think it's right, call. It's better to be safe and call and probably be embarrassed than to be sorry, like I am, that you didn't call when you really should have.

 

You know that you can still report anything that's inappropriate well after the incident had happened. I think you should go to the local police station and ask for their legal advice. If you got a lawyer then ask him/her I am sure there are things you can still do. Hope you stay strong Cnussey!

[Cnussey]

You know that you can still report anything that's inappropriate well after the incident had happened. I think you should go to the local police station and ask for their legal advice. If you got a lawyer then ask him/her I am sure there are things you can still do. Hope you stay strong Cnussey!

 

No, they teach you that bull**** in high school. You can get a lawyer, you can go to the police, but trust me...unless you go immediately after an incident, you will not receive help and prosecution will be very difficult. You HAVE to go to the hospital and you HAVE to go the police ASAP. Don't wait a week, a month, or 8 years like I did. Revictimization exists and sexual, physical, and emotional abusers walk free every day...regardless of being taught "it's never too late".

 

I have met many beautiful and strong women who have left their abusive partners like I have...and we all still share custody with these men who neglect our children and walk free from jailtime that they deserve. I'm writing a book as a testimony...hoping other women won't wait so long, or hoping it will help change the system.

[apache]

this is pretty much bang on, i've met tons of people who have been victimized and unless you deal with it right away it's extremely hard have dealt with within a legal framework

 

No, they teach you that bull**** in high school. You can get a lawyer, you can go to the police, but trust me...unless you go immediately after an incident, you will not receive help and prosecution will be very difficult. You HAVE to go to the hospital and you HAVE to go the police ASAP. Don't wait a week, a month, or 8 years like I did. Revictimization exists and sexual, physical, and emotional abusers walk free every day...regardless of being taught "it's never too late".

 

I have met many beautiful and strong women who have left their abusive partners like I have...and we all still share custody with these men who neglect our children and walk free from jailtime that they deserve. I'm writing a book as a testimony...hoping other women won't wait so long, or hoping it will help change the system.

[DOC_Ma]

No, they teach you that bull**** in high school. You can get a lawyer, you can go to the police, but trust me...unless you go immediately after an incident, you will not receive help and prosecution will be very difficult. You HAVE to go to the hospital and you HAVE to go the police ASAP. Don't wait a week, a month, or 8 years like I did. Revictimization exists and sexual, physical, and emotional abusers walk free every day...regardless of being taught "it's never too late".

 

I have met many beautiful and strong women who have left their abusive partners like I have...and we all still share custody with these men who neglect our children and walk free from jailtime that they deserve. I'm writing a book as a testimony...hoping other women won't wait so long, or hoping it will help change the system.

 

I agree. However if everyone just do it by just bringing up the case then it will raise a lot of awareness in the future and possibly shift the paradigm of our legal system. However I understand it takes so much energy and time and money to go through this process. Kudos to you Cnussey for leaving the person and starting your new life!

[thatonekid]

No, they teach you that bull**** in high school. You can get a lawyer, you can go to the police, but trust me...unless you go immediately after an incident, you will not receive help and prosecution will be very difficult. You HAVE to go to the hospital and you HAVE to go the police ASAP. Don't wait a week, a month, or 8 years like I did. Revictimization exists and sexual, physical, and emotional abusers walk free every day...regardless of being taught "it's never too late".

 

I have met many beautiful and strong women who have left their abusive partners like I have...and we all still share custody with these men who neglect our children and walk free from jailtime that they deserve. I'm writing a book as a testimony...hoping other women won't wait so long, or hoping it will help change the system.

Not to derail this thread, but the fact that you're writing a book to reach out to others is amazing, C.

[Cnussey]

Not to derail this thread, but the fact that you're writing a book to reach out to others is amazing, C.

 

Let's not get too excited, I'm chapters and chapters behind deadline. Lol.