Prep101 - Free Writing Sample Feedback **Thread #4**

[ann2012]

Most frequently in science, only one exception needs to be found before proving a long-standing theory to be wrong. An opinion that is shared by the majority for a long period of time does not necessarily mean it is correct. In this case, a majority opinion can be defined as an idea or belief that gained the majority of the public's support. Take the "flat earth" theory as an example, until the 17th century, most people including scientist in North America believed that the earth must be flat. They believed that since the ground is flat, the earth must have a flat shape and the sky is somewhat like a lid that covers over the earth. Even though most people at the time believed strongly in the "flat earth" theory and refused to acknowledge any new theory regarding the shape of the earth. The "flat earth" theory was eventually proven wrong however, after a number of new discoveries including the famous discovery of gravity. Example like the "flat earth" theory is not rare in the scientific field, because a scientific theory can never be proven correct, but can always be challenged by the infinite possibility of exceptions, and innovation and challenges to the existing beliefs is necessary to bring improvements to the existing knowledge. Thus, in an ever-changing field like the scientific field, a majority opinion is not necessarily correct, and can be proven wrong with new discoveries.

 

On the other hand, majority opinion could be correct in term of moral and ethical beliefs. For example, cheating is wrong is a belief that is shared by the majority, and it has long stood correct on the basis of norm and ethics. People have created norms for themselves to follow, because they believe that these norms are meant to make them better people and to make their society a better society. Such norms shared by the majority of the public then developed into rule or even laws, and these rules are to promote orders in society and to protect people against harm or harming each other. Then norm and ethics as the basis of the laws are not likely to change, just like the belief that cheating is wrong, because once changes in ethical beliefs may lead to changes in social order, and changes in social orders may lead to serious social issues. Thus, majority opinion in norm and ethics as the basis of laws will not likely to be proven wrong, because these beliefs were created by the people and changes cannot be easily made without experience changes in the order of society.

 

Therefore, whether a majority opinion is correct depends on whether the opinion takes place in a fast-changing field or not. In a fast-changing field, such as the scientific field where challenges to the existing beliefs are needed for improvements, a majority opinion is not necessarily correct and can always be proven wrong with new innovations. However, in an area where changes are rarely seen, such as the ethical beliefs that people have, a majority opinion may be correct, because norms are created by people based on their beliefs, and people's beliefs have had little changes throughout history.

[#Cevapi]

Because an opinion is shared by a majority of the people does not necessarily mean the opinion is correct.

 

An opinion that is consistent with the views of the majority of people does not preclude the existence of an alternate opinion. Though the likelihood that the opinion is correct increases as the number of individuals in favour of the opinion increases, it is essential to explore alternate viewpoints in order to gain a greater level of understanding of the particular topic in discussion. The more information that is able to be ruled out will bring you closer to reaching an ultimate conclusion of the issue. Consider a coroner facing the task of analyzing the body of a deceased individual, who supposedly passed as a result of heart failure. Even though the majority opinion is that the individual's cause of death is heart failure, it is nonetheless necessary for the coroner to analyze the individual's arteries surrounding the heart to rule out the possibilities of atherosclerotic blockage or even valve malfunctioning of the heart, among other things. The majority opinion is a great place to start when trying to reach a particular conclusion, however, it is not the sole determinant of what decision needs to be made.

 

The greater the number of individuals that possess a certain opinion, the better the chance that opinion is the truth. When considering the origin of the universe, the opinion shared by the majority of the modern scientific community is the Big Bang Theory. This majority opinion when it comes to the existence of the universe is that everything began as an extremely dense mass that exploded and hasn't stopped expanding ever since. The scientific community, particularly physicists, have essentially taken this theory to be the truth as a result of the great body of evidence pointing to its truth. However, just as its name implies, it must be understood that the concept of the Big Bang is only a theory and cannot be taken as being proven, rather, the evidence discovered provides support for the theory. In this illustration, the majority opinion may be the correct opinion, but that is far different from saying that it is definitely the correct opinion.

 

Whether or not a majority opinion is the correct opinion comes down to breaking down the situation into the different possible opinions that surround the issue. To come to an ultimate conclusion, the weaker opinions must be ruled out with confidence, which can only be done after a great deal of evidence points to a certain opinion being correct and the weaker opinions clearly being incorrect. If there is only a limited pool of information on the issue in discussion, a conclusion should not be reached based on the majority opinion. As the level of information rises, the likelihood of the majority opinion being correct increases proportionally. If the level of information reaches a point where multiple opinions on the issue can be formed but there is still an overwhelming wave of evidence shifting to the majority opinion, it would be reasonable to conclude that this particular opinion is correct.

 

thank you boss

[loopas]

Thank you Raymond, and sorry for being a little late.

 

In current society, a democratic government is considered a basic necessity; democracy is often the first step in advancing towards a bright future. The basis of democracy is the majority vote. The opinion shared by the majority of people, however, is not always correct. For example, during the 20th century, Rosa Parks, an African-American civil rights activist refused to obey bus driver James Blake's order that she give up her seat to make room for a white passenger. Rosa Parks did not believe that black people were inferior to white people; she believed that the opinion shared by the majority of people was incorrect. Rosa Parks' protest against the law of segregation led the Supreme Court to abandon the law which forced black people to give up their seats to white people. The opinion held by Rosa Parks was correct because it allowed for equalization of rights. Because Rosa Parks protested against the opinion held by the majority, she was able to introduce change into society.

 

In some cases, however, the opinion shared by a majority of people is correct. For example, in India, female fetuses are often killed in the womb because male children are preferred since they carry on their family name and are considered to be the superior sex. Though sex determination and female foeticide has been illegal in India since the early 1990s, this practice continues because doctors are bribed by wealthy elders in the family to determine the sex of the baby. The majority of people consider female foeticide to be morally wrong and want justice for female fetuses. After the national broadcast of a documentary describing the plights of women affected by forced abortion, this majority came together and demanded tighter rules and careful monitoring of doctors who still participate in sex determination. The strength of the majority resulted in stricter laws regarding female foeticide being implemented right away. The opinion shared by the majority was correct because it gave all fetuses an equal right to live.

 

The opinion of the majority is often considered to be correct but this is not always the case. What determines whether the opinion of the majority is correct or incorrect is the issue being contested. The correct opinion favours equal rights for all citizens. The opinion of the majority regarding African-Americans was incorrect because they segregated blacks and did not allow them to have equal rights. Rosa Parks' opinion was correct because she lobbied for equal rights of African-Americans and Caucasians. The majority of the opinion was correct in India because they wanted equal rights for female and male fetuses. Though democracy is important because it allows all citizens to contribute equally to political decisions, it would be useless if the decision of the majority ostracized a group of people and denied them equal rights.

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 35 polarbear89

 

The field of politics is a fickle one where personal influence is critical. In fact, it is not good ideas but rather, the personal influence of a leader that leads to success in politics. Although the prompt uses absolute wording, you need to soften your language or else you will undermine the arguments you will make in your refuting paragraph. For example, Jack Layton, the former leader of the New Democratic Party in Canada reveals that personal influence leads to success in politics. The New Democratic Party is quite socialist and not a mainstream party. In fact, some of the party’s policies regarding health care and taxes are relatively extreme and are not endorsed by the majority of the population. However, Jack Layton placed a personable face on the party and has permanently impacted the face of politics in Canada. He was able to win other politicians’ respect, despite his unorthodox ideas. He connected with people from all backgrounds and areas and his charisma uplifted the NDP to new heights. He also connected with the country’s youth, a usually untapped voter market that resulted in Quebec electing numerous NDP members to parliament in the last federal election and resulted in the eradication of the Bloc Quebecois party. When he died, the entire country, regardless of their personal political beliefs, mourned Jack Layton and the NDP wondered if they would ever be able to succeed without their personable, charismatic leader. Because of Jack Layton, the NDP now are the Opposition Party of Canada, a feat that would have been impossible without Jack Layton’s personal influence. Excellent.

 

However, on the other hand, good ideas can also be critical in gaining success in politics, especially when a country is vying for a drastic change in its political environment. For example, Barack Obama’s Democratic campaign, against John McCain, for the 2008 elections was founded on new ideas that gained popularity with American citizens. During his campaign, he focused on promising changes in the country’s environmental policies, health policies, changes regarding gay rights and a new foreign policy that would involve withdrawing soldiers from Iraq but still focusing on ending the fight with Al-Qaeda. His ideas focused on what the people of America wanted, and by focusing on new ideas that would signal growth and a change for America, he managed to gain the popular vote and has been president for the past 4 years. By elaborating on good ideas that the population admired, Obama and the rest of the Democratic Party managed to encourage the country to be open to some new policies and for a Democratic government, which was a drastic change for the country after Republican George Bush’s eight year presidency. This is okay. Your ideas are a bit too general. You should go into more detail about one or two of these good ideas rather than providing a laundry list that lacks depth. You also do not address the part where it is good ideas and not personal influence.

 

Whether or not it is good ideas or personal influence that leads to success in politics depends on the political ideas that the leader is trying to support. This is vague and ambiguous. You want your resolution principle to be clear from the outset. If the ideas are unpopular among the general population, then it is integral for the leader to be charismatic and to be able to personally influence the voters in order for him to have political success. In the instance of Jack Layton and the NDP party, the party’s recent success is due to Layton’s charisma and persona. Without his ability to connect with people, the party would remain as a fringe party. Instead, because he was relatable and personable, the NDP is the Oppositional Party of Canada. You do not apply your resolution principle here. What unpopular ideas did the NDP party have? On the other hand, in a situation where the political leader has ideas that are innovative but still mainstream, it is the merit of those ideas that will determine the leader’s success. For example during Obama’s 2008 presidential election, the Democratic Party elaborated on and supported ideas that were very different from the policies that the Republican party had instituted during the past eight years. However, the ideas were appealing to the population and were new and innovative. Because these ideas had merit, Obama won the election and has been president for the past four years. Essentially, a leader with personal influence is integral in a situation where the ideas he is trying to institute are not popular. However, when the ideas are mainstream, it is the merit of the ideas, rather than the charisma of the leader, that will determine political success. Again, you have the same problem with your Obama example. You talk about these ideas that are new and innovative but don't actually say what those ideas were and why they were innovative. It makes it seem like you have a lack of knowledge and are just trying to gloss over that. The resolution principle works but is not well executed.

 

Overall Mark: 5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a R)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 5 Supporting task is completely addressed. Refuting task is adequately addressed. Resolution task is adequately addressed.

Depth: 4.5

Focus and coherence: 4.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 4.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 35 meniscus

 

There are many different ways one can become successful in politics. Good ideas are plans that are well thought out and effective. Personal influence is the reputation of a person affecting the outcome of a situation. Usually, success in politics is led by personal influence instead of good ideas. For example, in Thailand, mayor Ma Binh, was a rich politician who is the son of the famous Then Binh. Ma did not have great ideas when he was serving as mayor, but his reputation of being so rich and the son of Tehn Binh was what led him to winning the election for mayor. This sentence needs to be revised. The other candidate that ran against Ma had some good ideas of decreasing the cases of prostituion and improving the health care of citizens, but he was not well known and had only average income. In this mayor election, the reputation of the candidates for mayor was what led to success in the campaign for mayor. Thus, personal influence instead of good ideas is usually what leads to success in politics. This example works and could be excellent. However, the discussion lacks depth and is too general. One of your goals in the writing sample is to demonstrate complexity of reasoning.

 

However, good ideas might also lead to success in politics. For example, in Canada, mayor Eddie Francis became successful as mayor through a number of good ideas. Francis was the person who thought of building an aquatic centre in Windsor. This was a great idea since Windsor currently does not have a olympic standard pool, which is a pool that is 25 m long. Also, many of the top swimmers in high school come from the Windsor region. Thus, bringing an new olympic standard pool will allow the University of Windsor to have a good swim team, attracting more students to apply to the university. In addition, more high end swim meets will be able to be held at this aquatic centre, making the city more popular to visit since fans will come to see the competitions. Francis's personal influence did not have much of a role in his success as mayor. His personal influence was not even that great before he ran for mayor and he still is not that well known. However, he came in as a middle income citizen that brought great ideas for the city. Strong. Again, to make it excellent you are going to need more depth.

 

Thus, what determines whether good ideas or personal influence leads to success in politics depends on the level of development in a city. For example, Mayor Ma Binh in Thailand, represented a pretty poor city that is underdeveloped. The citizens of the city felt they needed a well known and rich person to lead the city since citizens thought a rich and well known mayor would be best for the city. However, in a developed city such as Windsor, citizens are not as concerned about the personal influence of the Mayor; citizens are more concerned about if a mayor had good ideas for a city since this is what will bring the city forward and make the city more prosperous. Francis's idea of building a new aquatic centre was one of his good ideas that has contributed to his success as mayor.

Issues: 1) Your resolution principle is strong. However, your application of the principle to your supporting example is too general/superficial. 2) You do not apply your resolution principle well to your Windsor example.

So in summary, your resolution principle was strong but the application to the examples was weak.

 

Overall Mark: 4.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a Q )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 4.5 Supporting task is well addressed. Refuting task is well addressed. Resolution task is somewhat addressed.

Depth: 4

Focus and coherence: 4

Grammar and vocabulary: 4

[RaymondPrep101]

The good of a society depends upon the defense of individual rights.

 

Describe a specific situation in which the good of a society might not depend upon the defense of individual rights. Discuss what you think determines when the good of a society depends upon the defense of individual rights.

 

Instructions

In 30 minutes, write an essay for the prompt and instructions above and post your essay in this thread.

 

Use the Notepad accessory on your computer so word processing functions are turned off.

 

Note: Do not read other essays replying to this prompt on the forum until after you have written and submitted your own essay.

 

Deadline

11:59pm Monday, August 20.

 

Essays posted after the deadline will not be scored but a new Prompt will be posted on Tuesday, August 21.

[Economist]

The good of a society depends upon the defense of individual rights.

 

Country is an example of a society built by individuals who share common similarities in political geography and ancestry. Therefore the living qualities of each individuals and the economic wealth of the society as a whole contributes to the good of the society. North Korea is known to be one of the few remaining extreme communist countries in modern societies. In North Korea, individual rights of its citizens are heavily violated by the means of censorship and dictatorship. Citizens in North Korea are forced to pursue professions the government chooses and are restricted in their ways of communication with neighboring countries. These restrictions heavily hinder the good of the North Korean society as globalization is essential for the economic success of a country in modern time. Countries prosper by the means of specializing in particular field and grow their economy through the means of import and export. Without the individual citizen's right to specialize and trade with foreign countries limit the living quality and the economic growth of North Korea. In this example, the North Korea's failure to maintain its citizen's individual rights has resulted in economic downfall and the living qualities of the society as a whole.

 

 

However sometimes a good of a society might not depend upon the defense of individual rights. For example Park Chung Hee, a former president of South Korea that shaped the rapid economic growth and industrialization during the 1960's was notoriously known for his control of the media and censorship. During 1960's President Park attempted to form economic relationships with Japan despite the opposition from the majority of the citizens. Due to the recent colonization of Japan just few decades ago, many citizens in South Korea still maintained hatred for Japan and refused to work together with a country that has dominated Korea for decades. Individual rights of South Korean citizens were violated as any individuals that opposed the proposal were put in jail or tortured. However the economic relationship with Japan proved to be contributing to the good of the South Korea's economy as Japan provided Korea with technologies and financial loans that played a critical role in building Korea's economy. The technologies from Japan helped shape some of the biggest conglomerates in Korea such as Hyundai automobiles and Samsung electronics. If the individual rights of South Korean citizens were fully defended upon President Park's proposal, the relationship with Japan would have been severely hindered. As we can see in this example, disregard for individual rights can sometimes contribute to the good of a society.

 

 

Whether or not the good of a society depends upon the defense of individual rights is determined by the values that those individual rights would oppose.

In cases with North Korea, the defending the individual rights of its citizens would oppose the censorship and the dictatorship displayed by the North Korean government.

In fact the proper defense of individual rights would only help North Korea as a society by providing its citizens with better quality of life and economic growth.

However in example with South Korea, the restricted individual rights oppose only emotional values and would have hindered the good of a society in terms of economic growth and quality of life.

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 35 souljaboy

 

In politics, having great personal influence can often lead to success even if the politician does not possess good ideas. You should start off your supporting paragraph with some functional definitions of key terms within the prompt. In the 1920s and 1930s, Adolf Hitler came into power in Germany, even though many of his ideas that he ran on were viewed as counterintuitive and dangerous. At the time, a large number of opposing German politicians pointed out the negatives of the drastic ideas of Hitler, but the population did not see that as a problem because most of them saw Hitler as a charismatic leader. Since Hitler was a great speaker, he used his own influences to convince a majority of the German population to support him. He was able to convince many people that his ideas are actually benefitial, even though by rational thought, they are clearly not. His personal influence is a significant factor in his success by overshadowing his faults. Strong. However, you need to add more depth. Some of the ideas were repetitive.

 

Despite the importance of personal influence, great ideas will always lead to success in politics. This is an absolute statement which should be avoided in your writing sample essay. During the Great Depression, Franklin Roosevelt put forth plans for an enormous amount of public spending in infrastructure in order to jumpstart the American economy. The idea of spending in order to jolt the economy had many detractors who thought that it would not work, but it eventually became one of the key reasons for the improvement in American economy. This was one of Roosevelt's signature accomplishments during his presidency, and it was very successful for him personally because it established him as a highly competent leader and eventually was part of the reason leading to him being the only president to serve three terms in office. Strong. However, you need more relevant supporting points and elaboration.

 

Good ideas will lead to success in politics, but personal influence can overshadow bad ideas and still lead to someone being successful. You need to state your resolution principle at the beginning of your resolution paragraph. Roosevelt's economical stimulus was considered to be vastly successful and is generally regarded as a very good idea. The benefits eventually led to Roosevelt's unprecendented three terms in office. However, Adolf Hitler, who had no obvious good ideas but was successful in asserting his personal influence in the Germany population, still managed to attain great success in politics. Great personal influence can then be viewed as more important than good ideas, since it can still lead to political success without regards for the politician's ideas.

You do not address the resolution task.

http://portal.prep101.com/Forum/yaf_postst58_How-to-write-Writing-Sample-essays.aspx

Overall Mark: 3.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately an O )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 3.5 Supporting task is well addressed. Refuting task is well addressed. Resolution task is not addressed.

Depth: 3

Focus and coherence: 2.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 4

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 35 mikeb88

 

Political success is achieved when an individual assumes control over a population, or is elected as the representative of a country. In order to be successful, one must be able to convince citizens that he is the most worthy candidate. This can be done in a number of ways, but personal influence most often prevails, as was the case when Adolf Hitler's assumed command over Nazi Germany. The events of World War II provide a clear account that Hitler's motives of world domination were radical and unethical. Therefore it was not the quality of his ideas that allowed him to take command over his people, but rather through his powerful influence. Hitler was an engaging public speaker, capable of making the most extreme ideas seem rational. He was successful in cultivating countless followers through personal influence. This example could be excellent. However, the discussion is too short. You need to elaborate upon your ideas.

However, there are situations in which ideas can be more powerful than influence. In the campaign for the most recent Canadian federal election, most of the debate centered around strategies to improve Canada's economic situation. The two dominant parties, Stephen Harper's Conservative party and Jack Layton's New Democratic Party, had leaders with unique approaches. Layton, a well-liked politician with a great following, relied heavily on his personal influence to sway voters. On the other hand, Harper was not as well liked, but presented a groundbreaking strategy to grow the Canadian economy. In the end, it was Harper's ideas that prevailed as he won the election and led the Conservative party to their first Majority government in decades. Again, the same problem as before. This example could be excellent but the discussion and argument are underdeveloped. There just isn't enough to make a convincing argument.

 

In order to be successful, a politician must receive support from enough followers by persuading them that he is the best candidate. As demonstrated by Adolf Hitler, personal influence often prevails over reason. However, when a politician presents an extremely strong idea in a desperate time, it is usually recognized and rewarded by voters. Harper prevailed over Layton because although politics is a popularity contest, a revolutionary idea can overcome even the most influential opponents.

A lot of these ideas do not address the resolution task. You do not have a clear resolution principle. I would recommend starting with the basics and learning about what the writing sample is looking for in terms of the resolution paragraph.

http://portal.prep101.com/Forum/yaf_postst58_How-to-write-Writing-Sample-essays.aspx

 

Overall Mark: 2.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a M )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 2.5 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is somewhat addressed. Resolution task is not addressed.

Depth: 2.5

Focus and coherence: 2.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 3.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 35 ann2012

 

Having an idea that will bring grammar positive impacts on grammar people is important, but successes in politics are usually lead by great leaders. It's the leader's personal influence that made him so successful comparing to grammar others in the political filed grammar . Since in order to make a political decision effective support must be gain grammar , and only influential leaders can have their ideas supported by the majority of public. This is an absolute statement which should be avoided in your writing sample essays. In this case, success in politics can be defined as having an idea that's being supported by the majority of the public and eventually lead to positive influences within society. This is confusing because this is not what the supporting task is looking for. Take Arnold Schwarzenegger as an example. Schwarzenegger was a former American Hollywood star, and he was known for his movie series "Terminator" one to three. Due to his popularity, he won the election for Governor of California and he did a very successful job during the time he served as the governor of California. If Szchwarzenegger wasn't a famous actor, he wouldn't have had the support from the majority of the public to won the election and wouldn't have his political ideas heard easily. Thus, personal influence is the primary factor that leads to success in politics. Arnold is an excellent example. However, you need to explain the example in a way that addresses the supporting task. Your introduction is also long and confusing.

 

On the other hand, if an idea can bring a social impact that is so influential, in which caused it grammar to be supported by the majority of the public. Then this may be the case where good ideas can out-win personal popularity and lead to success in politics. For example, the current Canadian healthcare system originated from a single person's idea. Tommy Douglas, who came up with the foundation of the Canadian health care system gained public grammar support very effectively, because his idea of having the government to cover health care fees would benefit all Canadian citizens. Thus as a result, Douglas's idea of the health system gained major support and is still benefiting the Canadians grammar today. Douglas is an excellent example. However, the discussion is too sparse. Again, the example is not explained in a way that addresses the refuting task well.

 

Therefore, whether personal influence would lead to success in politics depends on the scale of the impact on society. When the impact on society is in small scale, such as electing Arnold Schwarzenegger as the governor of California, then personal popularity would be the primary factor that leads to success in politics. Since a more popular politician's ideas would gain more support from the public and eventually lead to impact on society. The application of the resolution principle needs improvement. The ideas don't quite make sense. However, when the impact on society is in larger grammar national scale, such as the Canadian health care system, then good idea would gain more support from the public. Who would say no to free health care? Thus, since the benefit on society is so great, popularity may not play a very important role in such cases. Again, the application is not very good here.

Overall, the resolution principle is strong but the application to the examples was weak.

 

Grammar is a significant issue. I know that English is not your first language but keep trying because it takes time to see improvement.

 

Overall Mark: 2.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a M)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 2.5 Supporting task is weakly addressed. Refuting task is somewhat addressed. Resolution task is somewhat addressed.

Depth: 3

Focus and coherence: 2.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 2.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 35 perspectives

 

Success in politics can be measured by the number of votes attained by the politician or political party of interest. There are multiple factors that can propel one to succeed in politics, including strong ideas, but often more important is the personal influence of the party leader. The party leader can have substantial personal influence by relating to the citizens of the nation and thus swaying them to vote favourable grammar for his party. In this sense, the citizens care little for the ideas actually put out by the party reform I think this is an oversimplification. , but do care immensely about the personnel of the party. For example, the NDP party in Canada made history with the success they had in the 2011 election, becoming the official opposition. This was made possible due to the great campaign led by the late Jack Layton, who was battling cancer at the time. Through his relatability to the citizens, the NDP gained much support despite the fact that many voters were not familiar with their reform. It can be seen that many voters pay more attention to the person they are voting for than the ideas put forth by that person. Strong. More depth and elaboration is desired.

 

However, there are also instances where success in politics is due to the sound ideas presented by the political party. President Obama was able to be elected to become the first black president ever because of the solid ideas he had that promised change. Obama presented many ideas that were supported by majority grammar of the nation, things such as universal health care and additional funding for the education system. Due to the popularity of these ideas among the voters, Obama was able to become elected as president, despite having fierce competitors with much stronger personal influence such as Hilary Clinton, a former first lady. Decent. However, there needs to be more depth.

Thus, the question remains: when is it that political success arises from good ideas and when is it achieved through personal influence? This often depends on the stability of the socioeconomic landscape prior to the election. In a democratic society where citizens vote for their representatives in politics, a stable socioeconomic state will favour personal influence over good ideas. In a stable state, majority grammar of citizens are already comfortable with the status- quo, and will likely be more influenced by the personnel rather than their ideas. Why? In Canada, the socioeconomic status was stable when Jack Layton's NDP became the official opposition. Citizens were not seeking many drastic changes, and therefore were more persuaded to vote for a party with stronger personal influences rather than strong ideas. However, Obama won the election amidst strong socioeconomic uncertainty. USA was in the middle of one of the deepest recessions in recent history due to the housing bubble. Many citizens were displeased with the Bush government and their spending. Obama promised change through many strong ideas that ultimately led him to political success. Thus, it can be seen that success in politics can be determined by either good ideas or personal influence, depending on the status of the country. Excellent.

 

Overall Mark: 5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a R )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 5 Supporting task is well addressed. Refuting task is adequately addressed. Resolution task is completely addressed.

Depth: 4.5

Focus and coherence: 5

Grammar and vocabulary: 4.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 Raiya

 

In the future, please fix the formatting so that it is easier for me to mark.

 

Flexibility is an important aspect to consider when teaching. It

 

can allow students to learn at their own pace to maximize

 

efficiency and productivity. Good. For example, small seminar classes

 

on environmental ethics taught at the University of Toronto

 

introduces various methods of teaching students based on their

 

learning style and strength. Many styles of learning implemented

 

in these classes include visual, auditory and tactile, grammar suited for

 

each students' needs. By allowing flexibility in styles of

 

learning, students based on their aptitude can benefit from good

 

teaching effectively and quickly. If flexibility is impaired in

 

teaching, students may find it difficult to follow because that

 

particular method may not work for them. This is undoubtably why

 

seminar courses at such a large institution is so grammar popular to

 

students. Decent. However, a lot of the points are too general and lack depth. Some of the ideas are also repetitive.

 

On the other hand, flexibility is sometimes not necessary to

 

teach successfully. For example, in the practice of martial arts,

 

KungFu and Karate require constant repetition in order to master

 

a skill. Usually, students who wish to become even more advanced

 

go through rigorous training sessions with very similar

 

principles. Flexibility cannot constitute to a grammar skill like martial

 

arts because it requires students to master a set of moves

 

accurately without variability. The only way to excel in martial

 

arts is through constant practice; by being flexible such as

 

reading books about karate, will not help the student in

 

perfecting their skill. Strong.

 

 

From these two cases, it can be concluded that whether or not

 

good teaching requires flexibility depends on what is being

 

taught. This is vague and ambiguous. You want to express your resolution principle clearly at the outset. In the case of the small seminar course, it provides

 

flexible styles of teaching such as auditory, visual and tactile

 

to best fit the needs and strengths of the student. However, in

 

teaching martial arts, students require top-notch accuracy in

 

their movements and attacks. The only way to perfect this is

 

through constant repetition. Thus any sort of teaching deviating

 

away from physically practicing is not very effective. In the

 

end, to judge whether flexibility is necessary for good teaching

 

depends on the subject being taught. The resolution principle needs improvement. There also needs to be more depth. Many of these ideas are presented earlier.

 

Overall Mark: 4.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a Q )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 4.5 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is well addressed. Resolution task is adequately addressed.

Depth: 4

Focus and coherence: 4.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 4.5

[Raiya]

Thanks so much!! and Sorry about previous post ><.

 

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Maintaining a society requires the cooperation from the public and the government. A good society should grant and protect individual rights to the public such as the freedom of speech, thoughts and ideas. It should also highlight and necessiate the government's role in addressing public concerns. For example, Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto recently decided to cut numerous public services in order to increase city budget. Because of his actions, opposition from community parks, public library staffs, families and students started to defend for their services and opinions. Ford, seeing such strong complaints and rioting, immediately removed this proposition in respect of the public's individual rights. The public has rights to those services because they pay taxes to support those institutions. Ford realized and quickly defended for their rights and thus, was able to maintain his reputation and a good society.

 

On the other hand, sometimes, the good of a society does not depend on respecting individual rights. Take for example, in the mid-20th century, when China was under Chairman Mao's control, corruption and poverty was rampant in the society. In an attempt to this fix problem, Mao took full control over every political, economic and social facet of the society. He banished and silenced anybody or any party that opposed his political views. One of the most infamous case was the martyr Zhang Zhi Xin, who was tortured to death for fighting for democracy. Despite such a damaged past, today, China has one of the fastest growing economies in the world. The country leads in job availabilities, and a widely accessible healthcare system. However, none of this would have been possible without Mao's strict and stringent control of the country. Thus, despite the violation of public liberties, the good of the society was still carried through and maintained even till today.

 

Thus, the question remains: Does the good of a society depend on the defense of individual rights? This will depend on the status-quo of the society. In a developed community, such as Toronto, political and economic statuses are quite stable and have been stable for the past decades. Thus, violating individual liberties is an unnecessary practice in order to maintain the good of the society. However, in developing countries such as China in the 1950s, sometimes abolishing individual rights is necessary for the benefit of the whole population. In a poverty-strickened society, resources are inadequate and thus people are in desperate need of guidance and direction. Consequently, Mao's total control and support over China during that period was an overall benefit, despite the violation of individual liberties. Thus, Whether or not respect should be given to individual rights should depend on the status of the society.

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 dinosaur

 

Teaching has become an essential component of human development. From the age of five until adulthood, most of our children are attending an academic institution in order to fulfill their dreams and pursue a career they desire. Needless to say, not every person is the same; therefore teachers must show some flexibility in their teaching methods in order to transfer the bulk of information to most types of students. If a teacher is not versatile in class, then only a certain subset of the students will appreciate the lessons. A stunning example of this happened in my high school chemistry class. For the first half of the year, we had a teacher that could not explain a given subject in different ways, therefore more than half of my class was failing. After Christmas break, to our surprise, a new chemistry teacher arrived. Although he would also teach the “classical” way, when students did not understand, he would use props, or analogies in order to “teach”. The entire class passed the final exam with ease. This discussion is okay but personal examples should generally be avoided since they lack depth.

 

However, in some instances, too much flexibility in teaching can be detrimental to the learning experience. This is different from what the refuting task is asking for: "Describe a specific situation in which good teaching might not require flexibility." The prompt asks for an example where flexibility is not required. This phenomenon most often appears in university where teachers are often asked to teach in front of auditoriums filled with hundreds of people. For instance, if during an advanced calculus class, a student does not understand, the teacher will not stop the lesson at the detriment of all the other students in order to help a single person. In elementary/high school, it is possible due to the smaller class sizes and a lenient curriculum. At the university level, excellent teachers need not be versatile in their teaching methods. When a student registers in a college-level class he/she is expected to be passionate by the material and should be ready to do individual work: spoon-feeding time is over. This discussion does not address the refuting task and lacks depth.

 

Teaching will always remain an integral part of our educational systems. One appreciates the human interaction and drive provided by the teachers in order to succeed. However, at different stages in their academic careers, students need to change from passive learning to active learning. In elementary and high school, children are still trying to understand who they are and what appeals to them. Once students move on to acquire degrees and doctorates: difficulty and transient confusion in their studies are part of the learning experience. It contributes to their problem-solving techniques and shapes their personality accordingly. These experiences go well beyond trivial knowledge.

This does not address the resolution task. There is no resolution principle and no application of that principle to your previous examples.

 

I would recommend starting with the basics:

http://portal.prep101.com/Forum/yaf_postst58_How-to-write-Writing-Sample-essays.aspx

 

Overall Mark: 1.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a K )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 1.5 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is not addressed. Resolution task is not addressed.

Depth: 1.5

Focus and coherence: 1.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 3.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 wendyokoopa

 

Children acquire knowledge in a variety of ways and at a varying rates. A good teacher is someone who guides the student to a higher level of learning.

Therefore, it is recommended by some education experts that in order to be a good teacher, one must incorporate flexibility into the pedagogical approach. For example, when students enter kindergarten, there is a good deal of hetereogeneity in their current levels of knowledge and skill. An effective kindergarten teacher would approach learning not as a rigid set of expectations, but rather would adapt lesson plans to accommodate unique student needs. This teacher would be able to teach the alphabet to a child who may never have ever explored the ABCs, but would also need to be ready to guide pronunciation during reading for in a more gifted or advanced student. By adapting the approach to fit the needs of each student, the teacher ensures that he/she is advancing the learning level of all students. This discussion works. However, it is too general and therefore lacks depth.

 

However, this approach to instruction may not always be feasible. In the case of a 2nd-year University Physics class, the students will likely be all at the same level of knowledge regarding the subject matter. In this case, the teacher would not be required to meet each individual student 'where they're at', and a flexible approach to teaching would not be necessary. Instead, the teacher can focus on a unified lecture - a single didactic approach taken to instruct all students in the same way. Because they are beginning at the same level, students will all be presented with the same opportunity to advance their knowledge of physics. This discussion is too basic. One of your goals in the writing sample is to demonstrate complexity of reasoning.

 

What therefore, determines whether flexibility is necessary for effective instruction? It is likely that the level of education dictates the approach a teacher needs to take in order to advance the learning of a student. This resolution principle works but you should express it more clearly (preschool vs. post-secondary education or kids vs. adults). In the case of elementary and early secondary school, a high-quality teacher would likely adapt their teaching style to conform to the needs of individual student learning levels. However, in the higher grades and in post-secondary, an effective teacher can assume that all students are at roughly the same knowledge level, and can be effective in conveying information without adjusting teaching style on a student-by-student basis. The application is okay. However, there are no new ideas just repeated ones.

 

The essay is okay but is too plain and vanilla. It lacks depth and will not stand out in the eyes of the marker.

 

Overall Mark: 4/6 (Corresponds to approximately a P)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 4 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is somewhat addressed. Resolution task is adequately addressed.

Depth: 3.5

Focus and coherence: 4

Grammar and vocabulary: 4

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 ladypasta

 

Flexibility - the ability to adapt, compromise, and deviate from the original - has always been an important component in the evolution of society. Flexibility in education depends on the stage of education as well as the subject matter. This is better saved for the resolution paragraph. Young children are only capable of concrete thinking so it makes sense that much of the learning we do in elementary school consists of indisputable facts. Basic arithmetic and phonetic skills and various observations of the world around us comprise the majority of our early education. Flexibility is not required in the presentation of facts. By the time we get to high school, our brains have developed enough that we are now capable of abstract thinking. We are introduced to subjects such as philosophy and literature where the same thing might be interpreted differently by different individuals. Flexibility allows for all viewpoints to be considered and the combination of this myriad of ideas allows students to get the most out of their educations. The problem here is that in your supporting paragraph, you are suppose to argue only one side. Here you argue both sides and as a result neither side was argued effectively.

 

However, although older students are capable of abstract thinking, in subject areas like math, physics, and chemistry, most of the content is still concrete and absolute. The facts are non-debatable and are already proven to be one way or another. Teachers simply cannot say, “In some cases, the water is composed of three hydrogens and one oxygen.” Water will always be two hydrogens and an oxygen and a molecule with three hydrogens and one oxygen will be a hydronium ion. In this case, good teaching would only require that the teacher present the concepts in a way that will be easily understood by the students. For example, instead of telling students to memorize a formula, the professor might show how the formula was derived to enhance the understanding of the concept and to help students memorize it with greater ease. This is better in that it argues only one side which is what you are suppose to do. However, there needs to be more focus on discussing flexibility. The example is also too general and therefore lacks depth.

 

Ultimately, whether or not flexibility is needed for good teaching depends on what is being taught and what the stage of education is. This is two separate resolution principles. You want to choose one resolution principle and apply it to both of your examples. If hard facts are being taught, flexibility is not needed. If abstract concepts are being taught, flexibility is essential for exploring different possibilities and interpretations. Generally, flexibility is not needed in elementary school because hard facts are being taught. In higher education, flexibility might be needed, again, depending on what is being taught. The discussion again is too general and basic.

 

Overall Mark: 2.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a M )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 2.5 Supporting task is weakly addressed. Refuting task is somewhat addressed. Resolution task is somewhat addressed.

Depth: 2.5

Focus and coherence: 2.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 3.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 ann2012

 

Every person is different from another, thus different methods of teaching need to be used in order to obtain an overall good quality of teaching. In this case, good teaching can be defined as using appropriate methods to help students acquire essential knowledge in the most efficient way possible. For example, there are many different types if grammar learners such as, visual learner, audio learner, and reading learner. If all university students who are taking biology, are given a book containing only text and are told to learn from the book. The students who could best obtain information efficiently from reading textbooks would then score the highest on the exam. However, the visual learners and audio learners would not perform as well on the exam, because they couldn't obtain information in the text-form as efficiently as the reading learners. That is why in university, students are provided with books containing both images and texts. In addition to the textbook, lectures are held for students' benefits and students can learn the material at a rate that they are most comfortable with. Thus, flexibility of teaching method is required for an overall good quality of teaching. This is okay but the discussion is too general and too basic.

 

On the other hand, in situations when the goal of teaching is to teach people to follow rules and orders, good teaching may be achieved without too much flexibility. Take military schools as an example, there are very strict rules that students in military schools need to follow, because military schools are meant to be preparation for students who are going to become soldiers in their future. Needless to say, as future soldiers they have to follow certain restrictions, achieve the required physical goals, and follow whatever order that's given to them. There is not much flexibility with regards to the work they have to complete in military schools. Thus, in such situations good teaching can only be achieved with a limited flexibility. Strong.

 

Therefore, whether good quality of teaching requires flexibility depends on whether the goal of teaching is to teach people to follow restricted rules or not. This resolution principle is too narrow and therefore lacks depth. It only really applies to one example. When the goal of teaching is not for students to learn to follow strict rules, such as teaching in university, then flexibility is required for an overall good quality of teaching. Since people learn most efficient with different methods, flexibility is essential to obtain the best result of teaching. However, in a situation when the goal of teaching is to teach people to follow order and rules, such as teaching in military schools, then flexibility of teaching may be limited. Since it is important for soldiers to follow the order given strictly, it is important have limited flexibility when teaching them while they are in school. Flexibility makes it's contribution to good teaching, but it is not always the best thing to have while teaching.

 

Overall Mark: 4/6 (Corresponds to approximately a P)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 4 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is well addressed. Resolution task is somewhat addressed.

Depth: 3.5

Focus and coherence: 4

Grammar and vocabulary: 4.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 ibid3

 

Education is an integral part of the development of society. Knowledge is passed on from generation to generation through a variety of methods and it is the study of many psychologists whether any method of teaching has merit over another. Good teaching entails that students can not only know the information taught but also understand it enough to be able to apply their knowledge to new situations. Many times, no one method of teaching will suffice. Flexibility and open-mindedness in the teaching can help to engage and encourage students to think critically. Particularly, flexiblity in teaching methods allow teachers to cater to a greater range of students. Studies have shown that some children learn best through different learning styles. Some learn best visually, others auditorily grammar and others still through hands-on knowledge. By teaching about the law of inertia, for example, simply through written text, a tactile learner may not be able to grasp the concept enough to be able to apply it on a test or in a real world example. As for subjective areas of academics, such as English literature, good teaching also requires flexibility of a teacher's opinion. Liberal teachers who do not prefer conservative writing limit the vision of students and may even discourage this type of thinking through the doling out of poor marks for a particularly right wing piece. This rigidity of opinion can block students' abilities to think critically about the topic at hand and limit them to only certain world views. Strong. However, the discussion is too long because you have two examples rather than one. Two examples may seem better but it actually is not. It makes the resolution more difficult and reduces clarity. Choose one example and focus on that.

 

Flexibility in teaching can prove to be disasterous in some cases, however. It is not advisable to be flexible with subject matter that is rigid and set. This is vague and ambiguous. Teachers who allow flexibility in application of certain scientific laws or mathematical procedures end up reinforcing an incorrect way of thinking that students will then apply in their future careers. For example, if a teacher were to be flexible about the application of certain force diagrams in a grade 9 physics class, a student may develop an incorrect concept of how to calculate forces in their physics class in grade 10. For solving math problems and most physics problems there is only one answer and the manner of teaching should reflect this in order to ensure students develop the correct concepts that they can apply to new situations. As an example, for learning the multiplication time tables, rote memorization may be the only way. This is okay but the example is hypothetical and lacks depth.

 

To engage students and encourage critical thinking, students need to be taught well so as to develop a good understanding of the subject matter and a solid method with which to tackle problems of a similar kind. This does not help your resolution and is just filler. To do so, teachers should cater to different learning methods and be flexible in their opinion of a student's interpretation on subjective material. Thus, flexible teaching methods and flexible interpretations in subjective topics can encourage good understanding of materials. This does not apply to certain subjects, such as math and science, in which the material itself is inflexible.

This does not address the resolution task. You should also follow the standard template for the resolution paragraph.

http://portal.prep101.com/Forum/yaf_postst58_How-to-write-Writing-Sample-essays.aspx

 

Overall Mark: 3/6 (Corresponds to approximately an N )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 3 Supporting task is well addressed. Refuting task is adequately addressed. Resolution task is poorly addressed.

Depth: 3.5

Focus and coherence: 3

Grammar and vocabulary: 4.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 loopas

 

If engineers make a mistake, a bridge may collapse and if doctors make a mistake, a patient may collapse but, if teachers go wrong then an entire generation will collapse. Interesting. I like it. Teachers are hugely important to society as they mould the leaders of tomorrow. Though the best teaching method has been debated for years and is a field of intense research, flexibility in teaching styles is often lauded. In elementary school, good teaching requires flexibility because children do not know the teaching style that they learn best from. It is important that teachers change their teaching style to suit the needs of each child. For example, at the Envision School in Northern California, teachers are using Khan Academy to teach children instead of giving lessons. The Khan Academy is a virtual library of thousands of video lectures by Salman Khan, an ex-hedge fund analyst. At the Envision School, students watch the lectures online and learn the concepts the way they want to; they can ask their teacher if they have questions, look for answers on the internet or in books. They can do additional practice problems by using worksheets provided by the teacher or with puzzles and games. This way, each child can progress at the speed that he/she is most comfortable with. This ensures that children have a strong foundation of concepts. In a conventional classroom, with rigid teaching, there are always a few students who get left behind because the class is progressing too fast for them and these students have a tendency to give up on school. A flexible teaching approach also allows students to understand how they learn best, which will help them in the future. Excellent.

 

In some cases, however, good teaching does not require flexibility. For example, at the post-secondary level, the rigid lecture style often works best because the concepts become more detailed and difficult and time spent in the classroom is less, averaging around 3 hours per week for each course. The lecture style in which a professor describes slides allows maximum amount of information to be conveyed in the least amount of time. Most of the learning done by post-secondary students is done at home, this is when it becomes useful for students to know their individual learning styles, whether they are tactile, visual or auditory learners. It would also not be practical to use a flexible teaching style at the post-secondary level because the number of students is too large. For older students, good teaching does not require flexibility. This last sentence should be saved for your resolution paragraph. Strong overall.

 

Whether educators should use flexible or rigid teaching styles depends on the level of education; at the elementary school level, teachers should use a flexible approach because there is a small student to teacher ratio, making it practical for teachers to change their teaching style for each student. Also, a flexible learning approach, allows young students to solidify basic concepts and understand how they learn best. At the post-secondary level, however, good teaching does not require flexibility because by this time, most students learn concepts on their own and there are too many students to allow for a personalized teaching approach. Teachers should decide whether to be flexible or rigid in the teaching styles based on the level of education. Excellent.

Overall Mark: 5.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a S )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 5.5 Supporting task is completely addressed. Refuting task is well addressed. Resolution task is completely addressed.

Depth: 5.5

Focus and coherence: 6

Grammar and vocabulary: 5.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 souljaboy

 

Ideally, there would be one perfect way of teaching that allows for the most effectiveness. In the real world, however, students can vary drastically in how they learn and good teaching should be flexible in order to optimize the student's education. In many school systems around the world, students are put into a grade based on their age and would stay with the same group for the entirety of their education. If the students were to remain in an unflexible system, the education they receive often do not reflect their academic abilities. In the North American school system, students are not placed in any rigid programs. Students who show that they are very capable in a certain area can take harder classes or be taught harder subjects. The flexibility in teaching allows each student to reach their full potential and excel in areas where they are good at. This paragraph is not very strong because it mixes two discussions that contradict each other. Students being placed into grades based on their age is an inflexible system. For school from kindergarten to early high school, kids do not choose their courses.

 

However, there are types of teaching that offers very limited flexibility and is still considered to be very good. The American marines follow a very rigid method of training that is completely structured and has minimal flexibility. This is to ensure that everyone who goes through the system can meet a certain standard. In such a system, flexibility could well result in people who pass the program but do not meet certain qualities required for the position. Then how is this good teaching? The method of teaching for new marines has been strictly set and is optimized to ensure that everyone has learned what is necessary.

The discussion is too short and you undermine your own argument.

Teaching with limited flexibility is used to ensure that everyone meets a certain standard, whereas flexible teaching does not ensure everyone is successful but is capable to optimize education for those that are talented. This is not a clear resolution principle. Furthermore, optimizing education to primarily favor those who are more talented is not good teaching. The rigid training system of the US marines is needed to make sure that all the recruits learn what they need to in the time required; it does not account for difference in learning abilities because its goal is for everyone to know whats required. The public education system utilizes flexibility in their teaching because it allows the students who are talented in certain areas to learn at a level befitting their ability.

 

Overall, the quality of arguments needs improvement.

 

Overall Mark: 2.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a M)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 2.5 Supporting task is somewhat addressed. Refuting task is somewhat addressed. Resolution task is weakly addressed.

Depth: 2.5

Focus and coherence: 3

Grammar and vocabulary: 3.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 polarbear89

 

Teaching is integral for members of society to pass down skills to the new members of the community. It can be claimed that good teaching requires flexibility. This should follow your definitions. Good teaching can be defined as teaching that is effective for providing the information and skills necessary for the students in a fashion that meets the goals of the institution and the students. Good teaching requires flexibility and this can be seen through an example of an alternative high school. Many alternative high schools generally follow the public high school curriculum. However, to be effective, the alternative high schools must be flexible in regards to how they interpret the curriculum and how they teach it to the class. In this situation, the curriculum is flexible for students because the Education board recognizes that students in secondary schools come from a variety of backgrounds and of abilities. The teachers must be aware of the students’ weaknesses and strengths and adapt assignments and lesson plans so the information will be accessible to all the students in the classroom. This can be especially difficult when these classrooms host a variety of different students with different abilities. Some may have learning disorders, some may be apathetic and some may come from troubled homes. Each has their own challenge in succeeding in high school and alternative schools will succeed best by noting the diversity of challenges and adapting the public school curriculum to best fit the students and thus allowing them to succeed and gain their diplomas. Thus, the teachers also have to be ready to change their plans at a moment’s notice and also may not be able to use the same lesson plan from year to year because the students and their situations will vary greatly. This is strong. However, what do you mean by alternative schools exactly. Most of this discussion is too general with few specifics.

 

On the other hand, sometimes good teaching does not require flexibility. For example, in a rigid post-secondary program like engineering, it may not be good teaching to be flexible. Classes in these programs are often large and the information that must be provided to students must be given on a timed schedule in order to keep the students moving forward in their programs appropriately. In this situation, students are pre-selected for the program and all have a similar basis of background information, which allows a teacher to follow a set curriculum on this basis. Thus these students are a relatively homogenous large group and less flexible teaching would be more effective. Similar assignments and tests from year to year are required in order to ensure the same standard of education from year to year. Furthermore, too much flexibility regarding curriculum changes and assignments may result in a program no longer being accredited because it does not fit the requirements set by the engineering profession. Thus, if the teaching is too flexible, the teacher will not be able to achieve the goal of teaching students according to the standard set by the accrediting body. Excellent.

 

Therefore, whether or not good teaching requires flexibility depends on if the goal of the teaching is to allow a diverse group of students reach a general goal. You need to provide both sides of the resolution principle at the outset. This only applies to your supporting example. In this situation, teachers must be flexible because the students will come with different strengths and weaknesses. For instance, in the example of the alternative schools, the students are all aiming to achieve their high school diploma. However, each of the students has their own strengths and weaknesses that they must work with to achieve this goal. Teaching is most successful when these issues are examined and are worked through for each student. A standardized attempt at teaching these students is ineffective as most of these students are in an alternative school because a standardized teaching attempt was deemed unsuccessful for them. On the other hand, if the students being taught form a homogenous group and they are attempting to learn something specific, the teaching should be less flexible because the flexibility is not needed for them to achieve their goals. The teaching must follow a curriculum and should not deviate much from it because otherwise the students will not gain all the knowledge they require to fulfill their specific goal. In the situation of engineering students, the students are a pre-selected homogenous group who all wish to finish an accredited program in Engineering. The best way for a teacher to teach this program is to provide the same standardized education for all the students and follow a schedule to ensure that the information is covered in the time given. Therefore, it can be see that good teaching must be flexible when the goal is to allow a variety of students reach a general goal. However, when the goal is specific and the students are pre-selected, then teaching must be more rigid. Your ideas are good but the execution requires work. This is especially true for how your resolution principle is presented. You present your resolution principle in two parts but the two parts are varied enough that they may be considered two principles rather than one. Here you could have easily said that it depends on whether the class is heterogeneous or homogenous in composition. One line expresses the entire resolution principle in a clear and effective manner.

 

Overall Mark: 5.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a S)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 5.5 Supporting task is well addressed. Refuting task is completely addressed. Resolution task is well addressed.

Depth: 5

Focus and coherence: 5.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 meniscus

 

Teaching is not an easy task. Althought all teachers go through teachers college, the effectiveness of teachers can range from horrible to excellent. Teaching is imparting knowledge on others. Flexibility in teaching entails changing up teaching strategies. Usually, good teacher grammar requires flexibility. For example, many high school students at Kennedy High School were initially were bored grammar by math classes taught by Mr. Ping. His initial teaching style was just following the teaching manual that came with the textbook, and he had little interaction with his students. He noticed that many of his failed grammar to pay attention in class and some even dozed off. So, he changed his changing style to get his student's attention by forcing students to put up solutions for assigned homework and having them present their solutions to the whole class. Students actually enjoyed this more since they got to learn from their peers. In addition, Mr. Ping decided to ask students questions during lecture to interact more with his class and to see if the students actually understood his lecture. After he swtiched up his teaching style, he noticed that his student's grades started increasing and students were much more excitied in class. Mr. Ping actually won teacher of the award for his excellence in teaching the year he changed up his teaching style. His new teaching style which captured his student's attention was key to his good teaching since it was tailored to engage his students in the subject of math. Therefore, good teaching usually requires flexiblity. This is okay. However, personal examples lack depth. There is a lot of unnecessary filler as well.

 

However, good teaching does not always require flexibility. For example, Dr. Mark at the Unveristy of Windsor won the Teacher of the year award for his excellence in lecturing. His teaching style was the same every year. He taught first year anatomy and always just lectured enthusiastically and engaged his students by asking them questions. He made deals with the students, such as giving them bonus points if the class average reached a certain threshold. When students did poorly on a weekly tests. grammar He did not change up his teaching style as students were still engaged in the class and he felt that there was not a more effective teaching style he could implement. To this day, he still gets his scores for his teaching effectiveness althought he has not changed his teaching style. This is not an effective example. It sounds like Dr. Mark already had a flexible teaching style.

 

What determine whether grammar flexibility is necessary for good teaching is the stage of education in one is teaching at. Any education at the secondary level and below requires flexibility since students at this level have different needs and they are forced to attend school. Therefore, they may not be interested in the classes they have to attend. For example, students at Kennedy secondary initially hated Mr. Ping's math class because he did interact with his students a whole lot. However, when he change his teaching style by letting students taking up their homwork solutions and asking questions during lessons, students did better in his class and enjoyed his math classes more. At the post secondary level of education and above, good teaching does not require flexibility since students pay for their education and therefore, they likely be interested in the subjects since they chose to major themselve. For example, Dr. Mark who has taught first year anatomy did not have to change up his teaching style yet he continues to be a great teaching as demonstrated by his teaching awards he has received. Strong.

 

Grammar is an issue.

 

Overall Mark: 3.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately an O )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 3.5 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is weakly addressed. Resolution task is well addressed.

Depth: 3.5

Focus and coherence: 4

Grammar and vocabulary: 2

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 johnsmith321

 

The art of teaching is as old as human civilization itself. Since that time teaching has become a formalized profession , in which teachers must maintain valid teaching credentials. Teachers are themselves taught the fundamentals of teaching in teacher's college. One of the basic tenets they learn is the importance of being flexible and adaptive to meet the needs of all students to ensure their educational success. This should not be its own paragraph. Follow the standard three paragraph template for your essays.

 

As mentioned, there are many instance grammar when being a good teacher demands flexibility and an ability to adopt many styles of teaching. Take, for instance, an average grade eight class and the difficulties it may present to a teacher. Although the students are all of similar age, they may be of greatly varying intellectual maturity and have different strengths and weaknesses in terms of areas of the curriculum. A good teacher would not only be aware of these differences, but address the unique needs of his or her students. Furthermore, the students may be in different stages of physical development, or come from vastly different situations at home, all of which can influence their learning. There is no better example of the need for flexibility in education than the measures take to grammar help those students with learning disabilities. Often they are put in a seperate learning environment in order to focus on a specific learning objective. So while the end goal of teaching each student may be the same, the routes taken to reach that are different. This is okay. However, your discussion is unfocused especially when you shift to students with learning disabilities. The discussion also lacks depth.

 

However, there are cases when a more rigid system of education is most beneficial to teaching. Formal education programs for the piano and other instruments are often very specific and relatively inflexible. For instance, the Hanon studies and the Royal Conservatory of Music - two major piano education programs - impose a specific set of pieces and excercises for the student without taking into account their specific strengths and weaknesses. The developers of such programs cannot address the specific needs of all students and so thus set a program that will be of most benefit to the average student. Such regimes have produced many great musicians, including the famous Canadian pianist Glenn Gould. Strong. However, more elaboration and expansion is necessary.

 

Thus it can be seen that in some circumstances a teacher must bend to the needs of the students, while in others, the students must conform to the education program. The main determinant as to what approach is most beneficial is the nature or goal of the teaching itself. This is vague and ambiguous. You want you resolution principle to be clear and easy to apply. When the goal of the education is more general Ambiguous and unclear. , such as the teaching of a grade eight student, a more flexible approach is warranted. The student in this case must learn a wide variety of things on varying topics in order to be prepared for the next year of class. However, when the goal of teaching is more specific, such as that of piano lessons, a more rigid system is better. The student's performance is easily measure by their ability to meet specific requirements, and the teaching should reflect this. It is then up to the teacher to determine what balance of the two methods is most appropriate.

The resolution principle needs improvement. The application of your resolution principle to your refuting example also needs improvement.

 

Overall Mark: 4.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a Q)

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 4.5 Supporting task is adequately addressed. Refuting task is well addressed. Resolution task is adequately addressed.

Depth: 4

Focus and coherence: 4

Grammar and vocabulary: 4.5

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 sam07

 

In a knowledge based economy, effective teaching of younger generation grammar the previously gained knowledge is crucial for speedy training of the work force. One way good teaching can be measured is to determine the application and the use of the gained knowledge by the trainee. In a post secondary setting, particularly at the univeristy level, effective eduction can be delivered by leaving instructors flexable to determine what they believe are of importance to that generation of students. This can ensure that instructors,often professors who are expert in their field, remain interested in teaching students and train contents as they see necessary for the need of society, particulary the labour market and economy. This is too short. You have some ideas that could be expanded upon.

 

However, basic level knowledge, such as eduction at the high school level may not require flexiblity. Specifically, the teaching of subject of grammar sciences at the high school level requires that stutends gain knowldege of basics of the subject. This can be accomplished by standard teaching techniques such as predetermined lectures, performing well-known lab procedures and report writing, and standard tests. Arguebally, there are certain aspects of this level of teaching that can be left flexible to match the the teacher’s style; however, the overall content does not require flexiblity. This last point is unnecessary and actually undermines your argument. Again, the discussion is too short. You also have a higher than average number of spelling mistakes.

 

In conclusion, to determine whether teaching require flexbility, one may consider the complexity of the subject under study. If the contents are at the higher level, such as those studied at the post secondary level, then good teaching practices require flexiblity. On the other hand, if the study subject is so elementary, as in case of very basic sciences at the high-school level, then flexbility may not be a critical requirement.

Too short.

 

Work on time rationing and using your time effectively.

 

Overall Mark: 1.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately a K )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 1.5 All of the tasks are only weakly addressed.

Depth: 2

Focus and coherence: 2.5

Grammar and vocabulary: 3.5

 

[RaymondPrep101]

Prompt 36 perspectives

 

The ability to educate and pass on knowledge to another human being is often a difficult task that requires the teacher to be flexible. The teacher should understand that each individual is different and born with a different aptitude for learning. Some may learn better through visuals such as diagrams and flow charts, and others may learn better by reading a textbook. For example, in a elementary level mathematics class, some students have an innate familiarity with numbers and can easily grasp an simple equation such as two plus two is equals to four just by seeing it. For others, the teacher may need to illustrate this to the student through the use of four objects, and physically putting two and two together to show the student. Thus, in order to educate an entire class of students with varying backgrounds, flexibility is often required. This discussion is too basic. One of your goals in the writing sample is to demonstrate complexity of reasoning.

 

However, there are also instances where flexibility is not required for good teaching. In most university courses, and conferences targeted at highly educated individuals, the norm for presenting information is through lecturing. For example, the Canadian Undergraduate Conference On Healthcare (CUCOH), often attracts distinguished speakers such as Dr. Roberta Bondar, who gave a keynote speech in the 2009 conference. The medium through which she provides good teaching is by lecturing, or simply speaking to the audience. An overwhelming majority of the audience at the event is usually able to grasp the ideas the keynote speaker presents despite only one method of teaching. Again, this is too simplistic and needs more depth.

 

The question remains: when is it that flexibility is required for good teaching? It appears that flexibility in teaching is dependent on the uniformity of background knowledge and aptitude of the students being taught. Strong. However, if you can word this more concisely, it would be even better. It appears to be more necessary when the level of background knowledge and aptitude of students is diverse, such as in an elementary mathematics class. Some of the students may have been taught by their parents, or been to a private tutoring school, while others have not. Therefore, in order for a teacher to educate the entire class, flexibility is needed in order to accommodate the diverse range of level among the students. However, when the students being taught are all well educated and adept in the information being taught, then flexibility is not necessary for good teaching. These students are comfortable with attaining information without the teaching conforming to their preferred style of learning. This is evident in university students who have all shown to be fairly capable of learning. Therefore, it can be seen that whether flexibility is necessary for good teaching depends on the range of background knowledge among those learning.

Strong.

Overall Mark: 3.5/6 (Corresponds to approximately an O )

Breakdown (out of 6):

Addresses tasks: 3.5 Supporting task is somewhat addressed. Refuting task is somewhat addressed. Resolution task is well addressed.

Depth: 3

Focus and coherence: 4

Grammar and vocabulary: 4