dentopia11 Posted December 29, 2012 Report Posted December 29, 2012 Hey guys, Just a question out of interest. I had this conversation with a friend of mine. Both are us are in med and we started talking about dating and marriage and stuff. What is your opinion on casual dating? Here is my definition: Casual dating: Dating without marriage in mind. Essentially, dating for the fun of it. You maintain your own life and interests and so does your partner instead of being fused together every single day. I will start. I am kinda hesitant to date a girl if I don't see the prospect of marrying her. I DON'T plan on getting married at least until I finish residency. However, dating without potential marriage in mind doesn't sound very appealing to me, especially now when I am in my early 20s. totally agree..theres my reason there too
Mithril Posted December 29, 2012 Report Posted December 29, 2012 Casual dating is to see what you like and don't like in a partner or just to have some fun without committing. Sometimes you get lucky and the first person you end up dating becomes your best friend as well as your lover. Other times you want to test out the waters a bit without having to settle down just yet.
Jochi1543 Posted December 29, 2012 Report Posted December 29, 2012 I don't really understand the point of "casual dating" the way you describe it. I'm either interested in a person or I'm not. If I am, then I want to spend a lot of time with them, and often (which eventually implies getting married, or generally long-term cohabitation), and don't have any interest in seeing other potential romantic prospects. If I'm not interested, then I don't want to see them. For example, I never really understood how people date several people at once for months on end trying to figure out who they like more.
aaronjw Posted December 29, 2012 Report Posted December 29, 2012 I don't really understand the point of "casual dating" the way you describe it. I'm either interested in a person or I'm not. If I am, then I want to spend a lot of time with them, and often (which eventually implies getting married, or generally long-term cohabitation), and don't have any interest in seeing other potential romantic prospects. If I'm not interested, then I don't want to see them. For example, I never really understood how people date several people at once for months on end trying to figure out who they like more. I understand them: they're insecure
laladeedee Posted December 31, 2012 Report Posted December 31, 2012 Hey guys, What is your opinion on casual dating? . To me, casual dating is fine. I actually have a friend who is "casually" dating someone, and they have both talked about their feelings. They both basically don't have any expectations for how their relationship should be or are unsure of whether they will even get into a real relationship, they're just letting it be as it is.. wherever it takes them. So, if either of them decide its not going to work out, there's no pressure. I feel like when there are expectation such as wanting to marry the guy/girl, etc. it just complicates things. Without any expectations, no one will get too hurt, nothing is too formal, everything is just chill.
vanesavis18 Posted January 4, 2013 Report Posted January 4, 2013 it is good to decide the date of it.
apache Posted January 4, 2013 Report Posted January 4, 2013 meh, im not for marriage, adoption at 35-40, lets both have fun, plus if your single (2 residences for official purposes... yeah, city condo and country house to chill and have parties... you're legally single and can use a dependent as equiv to spouse write off... im usually pretty close with gf's im into, then again, i love people who push me, and love to try new crazy things all the time and people who also feel similarly, honestly, casuals cool, but u get close after years, if thats what u want, then it's more ltr w/o marriage or assumed lifelong commitment... personally, i find marriage to be antiquated and all my relatives are going to be dead in 15 years (yeah seriously, minus second cousins... who'd id rather party with and go to mehico or something)... so not too much fam pressure either... yeah, i never got the whole spread the seed thing, 70 percent of pregnancies are aborted within 2 months auto and you never know, so a lot of your seeds gone dude... i personally think the whole raising kid thing is more meaning, just me though... cheers Hey guys, Just a question out of interest. I had this conversation with a friend of mine. Both are us are in med and we started talking about dating and marriage and stuff. What is your opinion on casual dating? Here is my definition: Casual dating: Dating without marriage in mind. Essentially, dating for the fun of it. You maintain your own life and interests and so does your partner instead of being fused together every single day. I will start. I am kinda hesitant to date a girl if I don't see the prospect of marrying her. I DON'T plan on getting married at least until I finish residency. However, dating without potential marriage in mind doesn't sound very appealing to me, especially now when I am in my early 20s.
questforstarfish Posted January 4, 2013 Report Posted January 4, 2013 To me, casual dating is fine. I actually have a friend who is "casually" dating someone, and they have both talked about their feelings. They both basically don't have any expectations for how their relationship should be or are unsure of whether they will even get into a real relationship, they're just letting it be as it is.. wherever it takes them. So, if either of them decide its not going to work out, there's no pressure. Exactly how I see it. I started seeing my current partner with absolutely no expectations on either end- we just spent time together because we enjoyed it. Neither of us wanted to be dating and were very happy to be single people at the time we realized how much we loved spending time with each other We did "relationship" things like dates but we never called it anything or had any pressure to act a certain way, or remember specific anniversaries, or anything. We just let it be. We've been together for four and a half years now and bought our first apartment together (we were renting together before) last year. We have two cats and no dates set in mind to get engaged or get married- still going with the flow and just enjoying being with each other every day. We're happy and in love and share his benefits plan because we're common-law, so what difference does it make to us to have a piece of paper? Obviously this is not for everyone. We all have different definitions of love and marriage and dating, and different goals in life. This way worked for us though!
summergirl Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 For me personally, I don't think it's possible to just "casually date" without considering a possible future with that person, because my choice to "casually date" the person means I enjoy hanging out with them, and if they make me happy, then I would want them to stay in my life, possible my entire life. That was what happened when I met my ex, we were super happy together and even though it was a HORRIBLE timing for both of us, we both decided to be very serious about each other earlier on in the relationship. So I don't think I would be able to casually date without thinking about the future...
medigeek Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 I don't like the idea of finding a wife later on, just means that chances are she's had quite a few partners (15-20+) by the time shes into her 30s. As for the general idea of casual dating, they enjoy each other's company and wanna get laid frequently.
apache Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 15-20 isn't that many by 35... i have this ****ed feeling i'll end up with my first lt gf... we both crave extreme, and honestly it's hard to find borderlines, adhd's, histrionics, high aggression, extreme ambition, openness to experience, risk taking... yeah, there's a definitely a pattern there maybe i'll actually find a smart raver girl at a festival that's all peppy, yet not like the equivalent of my child in the sense that i feel i'm babysitting all the time I don't like the idea of finding a wife later on, just means that chances are she's had quite a few partners (15-20+) by the time shes into her 30s. As for the general idea of casual dating, they enjoy each other's company and wanna get laid frequently.
future_doc Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 At least half of all marriages end in divorce, so for most, marriage is temporary regardless of original intention.
Che.Kree Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 At least half of all marriages end in divorce, so for most, marriage is temporary regardless of original intention. "at least half" is not "the most" and these statistics vary a LOT depending on country, religion, values, education, simple human intelligence, I woudn't bet on saying simply "anyways, a half would divorce" bc this requires another statement - "maybe it's better for me not to marry at all"
Che.Kree Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 15-20 isn't that many by 35... i have this ****ed feeling i'll end up with my first lt gf... we both crave extreme, and honestly it's hard to find borderlines, adhd's, histrionics, high aggression, extreme ambition, openness to experience, risk taking... yeah, there's a definitely a pattern there maybe i'll actually find a smart raver girl at a festival that's all peppy, yet not like the equivalent of my child in the sense that i feel i'm babysitting all the time good point, verrrrry good one
medigeek Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 I'm really not one to judge people's personal choices, but this just seems like such an odd statement to me. I know PLENTY of women in their early 20s who have been with well over 20 men. I also know PLENTY of women in their 30s who have been with only a few, often because they've only been in a few long term relationships. Funnily enough, the single women I know with the fewest partners ARE in their 30s, divorced, and married very young to they guy they lost their virginity to. Of course I understand what you're saying- all things being equal if you meet *the* woman you want to marry, you'd rather meet her earlier rather than later. It's just that the way you stated it made it sound like an oddly arbitrary reason for choosing to get married at a younger age. I'm really not meaning to judge your personal preferences, I just found it fascinating. I'm not judging at all, I have casual female friends (just a couple ) who have been with 20+ guys and they're not even 20 yet. For me, anything more than 5-6 partners is a no go unless I'm much older, my gf having just 1 before made it ideal. With that being said, how do you know those women are telling the truth? Or even know for sure ? (drunk times at parties) I find it unrealistic that women can go for such long periods of celibacy in between relationships unless they are hardcore religious or just asexual.
medigeek Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 "at least half" is not "the most" and these statistics vary a LOT depending on country, religion, values, education, simple human intelligence, I woudn't bet on saying simply "anyways, a half would divorce" bc this requires another statement - "maybe it's better for me not to marry at all" You are better off not bothering to marry. Just do common law for 10-15 years starting in your late 20s maybe... or maybe even a bit earlier. Get married when you're early 40s just to freshen things up. By that point, you'll have beat >90% of the odds.
future_doc Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 A woman's history is not relevant except to the insecure.
Che.Kree Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 You are better off not bothering to marry. Just do common law for 10-15 years starting in your late 20s maybe... or maybe even a bit earlier. Get married when you're early 40s just to freshen things up. By that point, you'll have beat >90% of the odds. hey!!! what was that? I wasn't speaking about myself, I was pointing out the wrongness of f_d's comment - was this so unsuccessful?!
ellorie Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 I don't really see why it matters how many partners someone has had - I mean, what are you worried about? This whole obsession with women being "pure" is bizarre to me.
Che.Kree Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 I don't really see why it matters how many partners someone has had - I mean, what are you worried about? This whole obsession with women being "pure" is bizarre to me. right, and think about this from another point of view: sex is like all other skills, so more partners=> more skillfull, this is actually an advantage, with the condition that the PAP tests are normal
future_doc Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 Better maintain mystery than give information.
Che.Kree Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 Better maintain mystery than give information. nope, better give a misinformation
medigeek Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 A woman's history is not relevant except to the insecure. It's relevant to 1) STDs 2) Being sexually open 3) More likely to cheat Girls I know who have had lots of partners are always the flirty types and will be cuddling up/flirting/touching up, with other guys even while in a relationship with someone. There has been a study done to show girls with more partners are more likely to cheat in marriages. Common sense anyways. hey!!! what was that? I wasn't speaking about myself, I was pointing out the wrongness of f_d's comment - was this so unsuccessful?! I was just making a general statement Better maintain mystery than give information. So you find out that your fiance is an ex-hooker, it doesn't matter to you?
laladeedee Posted February 28, 2013 Report Posted February 28, 2013 It's relevant to 1) STDs 2) Being sexually open 3) More likely to cheat Girls I know who have had lots of partners are always the flirty types and will be cuddling up/flirting/touching up, with other guys even while in a relationship with someone. There has been a study done to show girls with more partners are more likely to cheat in marriages. Common sense anyways. I agree with you actually. When a guy has been inside more than 2 girls, i wouldn't see that guy as marriage material. call me old fashioned, but i want a clean guy that has not had all these experiences with various people .
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