EchoMike Posted October 21, 2016 Report Share Posted October 21, 2016 Hi guys, I was just recently accepted to medical school and I have been struggling with something I would like to seek your advice about. While I love that I have finally entered medical school and I am happy that I am working towards the goal of being a doctor, which I have wanted for a long time, I wasn't really prepared for how socially engaging medical school would be. Already I can see that cliques have formed and I am standing on the outside looking in. It has been 2 months since we have started medical school and I just feel like I don't fit in with my class and am the odd one out. I keep feeling ashamed that I am in a class of 100+ people and can't seem to carry on a conversation and make a connection. It almost feels like people go out of their way to avoid me and it is pretty painful. I guess I am wondering if anyone else has struggled with making connections early on in medical school? How did things work out for you? Did it end up affecting your academic/clinical performance? Thanks for your input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MountainAmoeba Posted October 21, 2016 Report Share Posted October 21, 2016 It might be helpful to talk to a professional to check your perceptions. You feel shame, like you have a lack of skill or capacity, you mentioned feeling people go out of their way to avoid you (or perceive this almost to be the case). Often with depression and social anxiety, people perceive themselves in way that is inconsistent with how they are actually perceived. This may be the case, and an expert could help sort out for you the root of your experiences (which may have to do more with anxiety, and depression). They may be able to help generate solutions meaningful to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MountainAmoeba Posted October 21, 2016 Report Share Posted October 21, 2016 It might be helpful to talk to a professional to check your perceptions. You feel shame, like you have a lack of skill or capacity, you mentioned feeling people go out of their way to avoid you (or perceive this almost to be the case). Often with depression and social anxiety, people perceive themselves in way that is inconsistent with how they are actually perceived. This may be the case, and an expert could help sort out for you the root of your experiences (which may have to do more with anxiety, and depression). They may be able to help generate solutions meaningful to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sangria Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Mike, I think it's already a great first step to reach out here on premed101. I agree that you should seek counselling -- I think most people would benefit from it, not that there is anything shameful about it. In the meantime, I think it's important to see your situation for what it actually is. I personally found that medical school seems to be full of extroverted types, but eventually I realized that there are plenty of introverts scattered in the class. You will find them one way or another -- small groups, site visits etc. Give it time. Introversion isn't a liability or defect. In fact, there are a lot of qualities that you have that others don't, and these may be what your future patients value. Keep your chin up - you are here to be the best MD *you* can be. Be open to conversation, even if it's 1 on 1. Most people ease up when someone starts to talk and break the ice. Go out there and find things that you enjoy doing. School doesn't define you. Look into counselling. I think the act of reaching out is already empowering. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edict Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Are you able to fit in with people from elsewhere? Don't feel the pressure to have to make friends with people in your class. Just because you don't fit in, doesn't mean you don't deserve to be there. Med school is a subset of a subset of people, you might find your friends are outside of medicine and that is fine too. I felt like i didn't fit in in high school, as i'm sure many do, but I've kind of opened up in medical school. Looking back, part of it was my social anxiety but a good part of it also was that I was kind of different to people in high school. For you, this may be similar to what you've found in medical school, but at the end of the day you'll make it through don't worry. I agree with the others, seek counselling or family and friends if possible and it sounds easier said than done but you really just need to seek out that other person who might be sitting alone and make friends with them. You don't have to force yourself into a social situation, find something that is comfortable for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EchoMike Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Hi guys! Thanks for all your kind messages and advice. I did speak to my school psychologist and we have been working together to overcome the anxiety that has been holding me back (and had some really good break throughs ) It can be hard to feel alone when you see the same faces everyday, but I am optimistic that things will get better as the year goes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MountainAmoeba Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Im honestly impressed that not only did you reach out, but then you went and sought professional counsel. A lot of people really struggle to even seek help, let alone work on solutions. ???????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GH0ST Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 Hi guys! Thanks for all your kind messages and advice. I did speak to my school psychologist and we have been working together to overcome the anxiety that has been holding me back (and had some really good break throughs ) It can be hard to feel alone when you see the same faces everyday, but I am optimistic that things will get better as the year goes on. Great work! Take care of yourself <(O_O<) - G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellorie Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 Hello EchoMike, I totally understand your concern. It's all about your psychology, thinking too much is your problem. Keep your focus on your goal, and go for it. When you will enter in your class room keep that in mind, this is the only way from where you can reach to your goal. Always take care of your thoughts, Positive minds always get the success. All you have to do is that never think too much and only think positive. That's a terrible "solution"/piece of advice for anybody with an actual mood or anxiety disorder. In fact, most of the folks I see with mood/anxiety issues have been told to "think positive" by multiple people in their lives. The result? Just as depressed/anxious, but feeling even more guilt/shame/worthlessness for not being able to just "think their way out of it". I have no idea from your profile picture if you're just here advertising something or what, especially given how old this topic is, but still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorelan Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 That's a terrible "solution"/piece of advice for anybody with an actual mood or anxiety disorder. In fact, most of the folks I see with mood/anxiety issues have been told to "think positive" by multiple people in their lives. The result? Just as depressed/anxious, but feeling even more guilt/shame/worthlessness for not being able to just "think their way out of it". I have no idea from your profile picture if you're just here advertising something or what, especially given how old this topic is, but still. combating true depression or a mood disorder that way is about as effective as fixing a broken arm the same way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amichel Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 Accidental post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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