Writing Critique!

[missmathematics18]

I just wrote AAMC practice 9 for the WS. If anyone would be kind enough to comment on the prompts I would appreciate it very much!

 

Prompt 1-The primary goal of every business is to maximize profit.

 

Nowadays large businesses such as Walmart and the phone company Apple have taken the world by storm by running older and smaller businesses out of town. As a result, large chains have succeeded to become the regular place for consumer interests. One thing large chains have in common is that their top business priority is to maximize profit, the act of gaining as much net money as possible after expenses to maintain the business are paid. While Walmart effectively sells more products at a lower price per person, Apple sells less products per person but at a higher cost. Apple must put a high price on their products because of the nature of the products they sell. People infrequently purchase phones and computers; the less frequent the costumers come, the higher the price must be set to maximize profit. Apple employs marketing strategies such as advertisements to counter the competition of other companies, in particular Microsoft. It seems as if this dual has existed since the beginning of time! For instance, in one commercial, an Apple representative states that they are much closer to fixing their technical problems than Microsoft. This provides the viewer with the sense that Apple is trustworthy since they admit that their products are not perfect, yet superior to those of Microsoft. In effect, Apple gains more customers this way. Unfortunately, there is a downfall to these mega chains whose primary goal is to maximize profits. What they lack is in customer service. It is possible to spend a large amount of time just trying to get a hold of an Apple representative which is frustrating. In addition, they can even lack in quality as can be seen by the new iphone that just came out-it has service problems among others and there is no doubt that at least hundreds of disappointed customers will spend a few days on the customer helpline.

 

In contrast, a specific situation in which maximizing profits might not be the primary goal of a business is when dealing with a small, family-owned business, in particular farms that sell milk shares providing raw milk to customers such as the farm of Michael Schmidt in Canada. Small companies do not employ the marketing strategies that large companies do. Instead, small companies are successful by word of mouth; hence, they need to focus on their quality and customer service relations. It is very easy to get in touch with someone who works at a small business, they personally introduce themselves to the customers and even provide them with their private home number. It's rather easy to know who to go to when there's a problem! This allows any issues to be dealt with immediately instead of the frustration that most of us have gone through while waiting for a representative on the other line of the phone, what wastes even more time is that each time anyone calls the same number again, a different representative will be there without knowledge of the previous conversations. Even though the primary goal of a small business is not to maximize profits but build customer relations, their wonderful service is what eventually leads to high profits.

 

What determines whether or not the primary goal of a business should be to maximize profits is the size of the business. Large chains are making billions in net profit, whether or not they loose a few customers here and there due to a lack in customer service is not a large concern for them. They will sell as many products as possible with the focus on quantity, not quality. Smaller businesses with the attitudes of a large corporation will not be successful; they must work much harder to prove themselves worthy since they do not have the advantages of large network marketing as a company such as Apple has. Everyone has heard and seen plenty of commercials of Apple's products. If someone were to go to the mall to decide between two products, it is safe to say that people would choose the one they have heard of instead of an obscure one, regardless of how much better the other product may be. Large companies beware-dissatisfy too many customers and you may turn out bankrupt as the infamous Eaton store!

 

 

Prompt 2-A politician's lifestyle should reflect his political views.

 

There are a plethora of stories dealing with politicians not behaving appropriately in the news more than ever, they seem to be endless! It is vitally important that politicians behave in ways that suggest a role model figure for what they believe in. For example, one of Barack Obama's political views encompass the importance of literacy programs in America. To reflect this political view his children read many books. His wife Michelle has commented that they read the popular series Twilight together. This idea of a family union and literacy together are very important in order to provide an example and to encourage America's youth. It would not be appropriate if his children watched television all day while Obama went on speaking campaigns about the importance of education for the children of America. A successful politician will always strive to provide a positive example for citizens to emulate, especially if they desire to be elected again. Hence, the statement means that in order to efficiently invoke desire to support a specific politician in campaigns and in regards to voting, the politician himself/herself must genuinely not just believe that his political views are correct, but prove to the people that there is sincerity involved by living out the political views every day.

 

 

A specific situation in which a politician's lifestyle might not reflect his or her political views is when dealing with intimate relationships. A great example from history would be that of Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings. Hemings was one of Thomas's 187 slaves and strangely enough, also the half-sister of his late wife Martha. It is believed, by modern DNA analysis, that Jefferson fathered at least one and probably all four of Heming's children. Jefferson was a Southern plantation owner and like many men of that day he owned slaves and it was seen as a normal part of life. His intimate involvement with a slave may seem dubious because he was the President of United States at a time and one could argue that this was no way for a man to behave especially due to his involvement in the writing of the Declaration of Independence. Even more ironic is that he never released Hemings from slavery, yet she was by his bedside when he passed away. Nowadays people judge him as highly inappropriate and is scolded for intimate involvement with a slave, but what people do not realize is that during his time it was much more common for men to engage in sexual relations with the slaves he owned and was not such a bad thing but rather more of a way of life.

 

 

To conclude, whether or not a politician's lifestyle should reflect his or her political views depends on the nature of those views. Politicians have the right to have a personal life and to be attracted to whoever they please; who has the right to tell them who to love? Or who to bear children with? Politicians are now stepping down from their titles after being caught to be homosexual while having a family or seeking the services of a prostitute. One could argue that this is not fair since many others engage in behaviours such as these but they never get in trouble. These are personal choices that belong to stay in the bedroom and is not anyone's business to dwelve into. As long as politicans are actively living a lifestyle that promotes political views on the environment, health care, how to improve current problems in society, and not to mention hopefully staying on top of their promises, then I would say they are doing a mighty fine job and as a citizen I would look no further.

 

 

That's all...I think it may be a tad long?