Guest torontodave Posted August 8, 2004 Report Share Posted August 8, 2004 getting into med school is supposed to be a happy time...but when I examine my financial state, I feel like jumping out of a 12th storey window... We have worked our butts off to get this far, and now that we're here, I feel like I want to enjoy myself somewhat (-- go on trips, go shopping, party it up, etc etc), but in the best years of my youth, I'll be counting pennies, hoping I have enough for lunch the next day (well it's not quite that bad, but still....) One of my pals is going into 4th year med (not in Ottawa), and has always been a great spirit, but recently told me that he is in what he feels is the worst phase of his life...tremendously depressed, over-worked, and short on cash - he can't enjoy himself the way he likes (buying the things he likes, travelling to the places he wants to go, and living life in the fast-lane on Saturday nights...), and this has clearly had a profound effect on his well-being...He told me he has many classmates additionally that told him that they actually hate medicine because of what it has taken from their lives..."You're only young once" he always tells me. Does anyone worry about this additional stress - their money enjoyment factor, their financial survival, and lost enjoyment in (the best) years of their youth? Or am I alone on this? Looking to hear some P.O.V.s from 2nd-3rd-4th year med students - ie how you've dealt with this, and some worries of others who are going to be entering their 1st year like myself... Peace, Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mtws Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 TorontoDave, I wise man once said... "A weak man has doubts before a decision, a strong man has them afterwards". It's a testament to the kind of person you are (and to the kind of people that enter medicine) that you're re-reflecting on this now. There is no doubt that you've known the rigors of this profession for quite some time... And that your decision to become a physician was made a long time ago... Now, in my mind, is exactly the right time to reflect on it... it's a good thing. You have a lot to be proud of... Having made this next step in your professional life, you'll find yourself doing a great deal of personal reflection, which can't be a bad thing... and you'll probably get a "through the looking glass" kinda feeling more than once in the next little while... I know I did. It's fun. Medicine is an exciting, interesting, and alluring profession for so many reasons... which you'll grow more and more aware of as you go through your first year and beyond... physician skills, taking history's, physical exams, the doctor-patient relationships, the psychosocialspiritual model of medicine... it's such a great year... AND, you'll have a line of credit... so you won't starve... and there's a good chance you'll party a little tooooo much in the next couple of years anyway. (and if you're truly concerned with being poor, there are options... I encourage you to check out http://www.forces.ca/physician) We all know the clerkship years and residency will be tough, but I think those personal sacrifices are part of the mystique... part of what makes the profession so esteemed. Of course, I'm only starting second year... I'm still hoping I'll enjoy clerkship as much as I think I will? ANYWAY, This is a quote from a book called "DOCTORS" by Sherman Nuland: "Life is short, the art is long, opportunity fleeting, experience delusive, judgment difficult... Has there ever been a better descripiton of the obstacles faced by those who would be healers of the sick? That it is too long and too arduous a calling to be mastered in any human lifetime is known by everyone who has ever tried it." The journey of a thousand miles, starts with the first step... Congratulations on your acceptance, see you in a few weeks. Cheers, Matt UofO Med II Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest avisee Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 Dave, Excellent point. I'm not going into medicine just yet, but I'd planned on applying this upcoming cycle, and I think I have a lot of worries about the same things that are making me seriously reconsider whether I'm ready for medicine just yet. I'm thinking very seriously about trying to find a job during the upcoming cycle, and at this point, I think if I can find one of interest, I will turn down any interviews or offers I might get just to pursue that freedom for a few years, until I get to the point where I absolutely HAVE to return to school to fulfill my intellectual curiosity. Right now I'm just at the point where I WANT to go to school, but I'm already afraid of lost time and money at my current stage. I do agree that financial stress brings about emotional stress as well. Over the years of undergrad, I've felt increasingly strained and that certainly encourages the feelings of depression when you think of things you can do to relieve the stress and are consistently letting down your desires - not just buying things, but going skiing or seeing the world or even buying yourself time with a car or apartment close to school or not having to work part-time. I won't argue that money will make you happy, or that poverty makes you sad, but if you have a tendency to get sad to begin with, then not having money or having to do things you don't want just to get money will only kick you over the ledge into deeper depression. I think you mentioned a very valid argument, though, that medical school really can contribute to both financial and psychological poverty. I doubt this is true for everyone, and though everyone has to make sacrifices and suffer here and there to pursue a career in medicine, but it seems like some people feel it more than others. I'm not sure whether this is related to position in life (eg, financial status, being in a supportive relationship, entering straight from undergrad vs as a 30-year old) or attitude (which also has a lot to do with those factors above). But it does sound to me, from medical students I've spoken to, that there are some things you can do to better arm yourself against these feelings. Taking some time off to work seems like one of the strongest things you can do, giving you time to reflect, spare time to find yourself and grow comfortable in your own skin, and actually feel a need to go to school, rather than just following the clock to the classroom every September. Oh yeah, and the money helps your financial situation to combat the poverty and the emotional strain it brings. But barring that option, I'm sure there are other things a medical student can do to control these urges. Saying that money can't by happiness is nice, but usually only comes out of the mouths of those who have it. :\ For me, I find that not having money only really bothers me when I'm sad about something else and the insecurity of poverty only kicks me harder. I think one of the best things you can do is finding ways to not trigger those feelings of sadness in the first place, so that you don't have problems you hope to solve with money that you don't have. For instance, wanting to take a vacation implies that I'm unhappy where I am right now. Knowing that I have no money to do so only makes me feel worse. But if I can address this first problem, and make ways to enjoy being where I am, then not being able to afford the vacation doesn't matter so much any more. I'm not talking about being grateful for everything you have, but finding new things to be grateful for. Some of the greatest things you can do to minimize these feelings of tension so that money problems don't kick you when you are down include: exercising frequently (for the high of endorphins, social benefits, and the enjoyment of meeting personal non-academic goals. You can even think of this as slightly selfish time that you can spend improving on your own health after hours spent improving the health of others); joining clubs or social organizations and improving your social support network, or seeking counselling if you feel like the issues run deeper. This is a very interesting post that probably affects all med students to a certain degree. I'd also love to hear what other people do to combat these feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 Matt & Avisee, Thank you both for your well thought out replies -- just to add to what you said earlier, I don't ever doubt my decision to enter medicine, it was well thought out and singlemindedly pursued through two university degrees -- what I want is to learn how to be happy knowing that my youth is not being spent as enjoyably as it could be. Becoming a doctor, and "increasing and improving life" as a profession couldn't make me happier...but there should always be some degree of balance in life, and that's where this topic stems from... Both of your replies were useful and have offered me some respite. Hope to hear what others feel as well. Peace, Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wassabi101 Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 Dave, It's an excellent question and I too have pondered on the potential poverties of med school. Balance is an extremely important thing to accomplish if you want to get through med school and residency albeit life, in my opinion. It's no coincidence that the people I think are the most balanced and who are the most successful in many areas of their life including academics and general happiness, are the ones who study less, go out a bit more often, get involved in school and outside of school extracurriculars and pursue relationships and friendships (many of which are married and who have children). Yes, I'm now more in debt than I ever was, and the debt is really minimal compared to what it'll be in 4-5 years from now. Yes, I'm a lot more tired now than I used to be, and little things such staying up until 1am to study every day like I used to be able to do in undergrad I can no longer do. Yes, going out to enjoy myself with friends and taking time to myself every week has become even more important, yet more difficult. So I'm getting more and more worried about my finances. Meanwhile, it takes me more energy to study. My body aches much more easily, and my health is becoming more and more important. I'd like more time to eat good meals and exercise yet can't seem to find enough. And sometimes I feel as if I'm not as around as I used to be and feel like I'm missing out on the potential growth of my friendships. I'm also getting older, and I definitely feel some pressure to get married and have children at some point. And then there's the stress of trying to figure out what specialty I might want to go into. The stresses go on and on. It was in grad school that I realized that it's really a choice I had to make as to how much I would let stressors affect me in my day to day life. There are certain things I decided were more important than anything else in my life, and that those were the things I would dedicate most of my energy towards. I've figured out what's most important to me also in terms of a virtual time-line. For example, I love to travel and would love to continue a Public Health project in a third world country during my summers, but this summer, my priority was to get some clinical exposure. When you set realistic priorities, you feel less 'impoverished' in my opinion. Another example is my energy level and my day to day routine. I know that I could study much more every day, go out less often, talk to my friends and family less often, and spend less money, but I wouldn't be happy, and I would be missing out on things that I think are important, and so I made that choice at the beginning of the year as to what was reasonable for me. This summer, I wanted to enjoy a full month of complete vacation, and so I did just that. There are obvious consequences to that (less money, less electives, less research productivity etc.) but for me it was worth it. Two things are really relative in life, in my opinion: time and effort. I think one of the factors to feeling more deprived than someone else is expectations. If you set priorities, and know what to expect, you'll feel less impoverished. For me I'd rather go out for supper for a nice meal among friends and be more in debt at the end of med school, than eat left-overs. On the other hand, I don't mind waiting to go to Europe or on a cruise until after residency. I too would love to hear what others think, Cheers, wassabi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mtws Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Hey Dave, just a couple more thoughts while were on the subject... what I want is to learn how to be happy knowing that my youth is not being spent as enjoyably as it could be Yes... but that's the thing... in your heart of hearts you know you're gonna love it. AND... exactly how enjoyable could any amount of leisure time be if you're not doing exactly want you want to be doing with your life. Plus... I just noticed you spent significant time in the reserves... So did I! (13 year reservist, and now 1 year Reg.)... which means... you gotta be a glutten for punishment... Ha! Not too many reservists in medicine at UofO... as far as I know there are currently only 2 in the second year class (plus the six of us in the regs)... Just wondering if you're still in? Transferring to 28 Medical Company? I'm sure you're aware, they're right behind the med school and always looking for experienced people... and it's a good way to make a few extra bucks and buffer the huge LOC... Cheers, Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 You made a good point...how good could leisure time be if im not doing exactly what i want to be doing...thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest maxflygolfer Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Matt, Just to let you know.....I am a reservist with 23 Hamilton Med. Coy (Hamilton)...I will not be transferring to 28. I have taken QL3 & QL4 with people from 28...and have become good friends with some. It would be fun to see if we know the same people. Maxfli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krazeemaan Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 hey torontodave, I understand your frustrations man, but i think you are not seeing the big picture. To define the situation as poverty.. damn. I dont think you have any idea of what poverty is. As long as you have a roof over your head and food in your belly you should be greatful. So what if you are in debt through your twenties.... life is long. Would you rather be in this situation with the possibility of a bright and great career around the corner, or try living your life earning 7.15 an hour. Boo hoo, you miss out on a drinking purge here and there or a two week vacation. Thank god and your family for being there for you and enjoy life to the fullest no matter where you are. Here's to finding a solution to real poverty. PEACE OUT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 thanks for the input Krazeeman, that's just the kind of thing my dad would say, and that's specifically why I wouldnt complain to him about this issue - because to him, that's all poverty is - not having a roof over your head, clothes on your back, or food on your plate...i understand that life out there is horrible for many...But making myself feeling better by looking at the homeless and unfortunate is not the type of fix i am looking for... What makes my dilemma different from the situation of the genuinely poor is that I have choice (and to some degree, control) over my poverty...I could take money from the government, I could ask my parents for cash, or I could just get a line of credit (which is what i have done)... The issue for me is deeper however...why am I choosing this life? Why am I taking the best years of my life and not enjoying them the way I can when i have a choice? And that's the issue facing many others studying medicine, I suspect...nevermind that, the choice has been made, and in my heart of hearts, I know it is the best one...I do have a bright and sunny future around the corner...but in the meantime, how do I deal with the lousy feelings associated with not being able to do what i want? I wont be in my twenties forever, and I am only gonna be alive once...so how do I get full worth of this next decade? There's no question that I'm gonna do medicine, but how can I feel socially and academically well? How are others who have always been able to do what they want deal with this barrier? That is the issue here, not simply financial poverty. I appreciate your insight into this matter however, and I look forward to hearing more about what others think. Peace, Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fluidity2 Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 No matter the degree/profession, there are not very many people in their twenties or thirties who don't have a debt to pay off. Obviously I realize a professional student line of credit is more than the average person has to pay off, our potential life earnings is quite significant. Therefore try to get through med school as smartly as possible (budget but treat yourself when you need it) and eventually the loan will get payed off. I'm definitely worried about the debt load I'm taking on my choosing medicine but I know in the long run I'll be okay. ~fluidity2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest seonagh Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 How are others who have always been able to do what they want deal with this barrier? That is the issue here, not simply financial poverty. Hmm I know what you are saying here and I think I understand what kind of feelings you are trying to describe. However, the other side of the coin is not always as shiny as it might seem when you are up to your elbows in debt and overwork. I dropped out of university the first time when I was 19 to do exactly..."whatever I wanted". I did a bunch of different things that included English teaching in Asia and working in theatre and some customer service managment type stuff. I gathered a whole lot of experiences, I made good money (I was lucky with that given the lack of education) and had a blast and I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't done that but... When the dust settles, if you aren't working towards a dream or putting your heart and soul into something that really means something to you it can feel just as empty as a pile of debt and being stuck home on Friday night without enough money for the restaurant you'd rather be eating in. So my twenties were great but my 30's are going to be hard work . Thing is I guess, I know exactly why I want it and what the alternative is for me and I am loving every debt filled, no restaurant eating, no expensive nice clothes buying minute of it (ok maybe I didn't love the physics final last year but other than those 3 hours I loved it all ). Just my two cents (Mind you I do agree that student debt and sacrifice is more akin to the sacrifice a business person makes when they spend all their money on a new venture than it is true poverty. It is scary, it is an overwhelmingly long time to delay gratification and study one's butt off but it just ain't got nuthing on explaining to your kids why you can't afford christmas or dinner for that matter.) Seonagh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Hey Seonagh, thanks for your message - Maybe I'm wrong, but I interpreted it to have a meaning along the lines of Krazeeman's, which basically implies that I shouldn't doubt medicine as a career... So I'll presume that I have not been as clear as I should have been...I want to reiterate that I have no doubts about my chosen career - I do however worry about my mental well being as time passes - depression is a very real thing among medical students; I have friends who will attest to this, and some of the above posts allude to this as well...(sorry, one of my statements was "why did we choose this life?"...it is something I think about, but not one of my doubts...i should have been clearer :\ ) what I am hoping to continue to find on this thread are methods for dealing with this common feeling that I'm sure many medical students have...For instance, some of the posts higher up in this thread...by mtws, wassabi, and avisee hit closer to home...they were less "doubting medicine" as they were about offering helpful coping strategies... such as "keeping busy with extracurricular activities", "trying to keep a balance as well as possible", "compromising and taking a vacation when I feel I really must"...these types of things ( in spite of the quotation marks, I have not taken those verbatim, so don't search for them...8o ) Thanks for your post on this subject, I must say your story is very interesting. Looking forward to reading still more stories and experiences about how people cope with the miserable feelings that accompany not being able to enjoy their youthful years as much as they'd like, because of their chosen career... Peace, Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mtws Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Hey Dave, Can't quite figure out your intention on this line of questioning yet... but I wanted to point something else out... Why am I taking the best years of my life and not enjoying them the way I can when i have a choice? Something about that statement irks me. Two things: First, You do have a choice. If you truly believe there's something else that will 'satisfy' you and lead you more readily to your own self-actualization... then I implore you to go do it. Life is too short to do something you truly DON'T want to do... And the truth of the matter is, medicine is not for everyone... Sadly, it's even not for all those who get in. Secondly, Being a medical student is not ALL bad you know. We agree there is a degree of delayed-gratification involved.... but you gotta love the journey... life is what happens to you while you're making plans... and the years of hard work are definately not ALL bad. It's actually a pretty good gig... learning medicine... helping people in a real and tangible way... laughing and crying with colleagues and patients... daily challenge... mental stimulation... fulfilling your dreams... even being sleep deprived, and physically and mentally drained, is satisfying on some level... If you think you're going to hate it... then you're going to hate it. (It is a choice). And if that's your choice, then WHY are you doing it? I, for one, am looking forward to those years... loving every minute of medical school... and plan to continue to enjoy the journey... I'll be spending my thirties in a hospital and like to think I am "enjoying them the way I can". That's it for now. Hope some of this helps? Cheers, Matt UofO Med II Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Hey Matt, it does somewhat help...but let me provide some insight into why I started this topic...I have wanted to be a doctor forever, and one thing about getting into medical school is that it needs "balance"...I have always been about balance in life...played sports every spare minute, hung out with friends, jumped out of planes with the army, and alotted time to study -- without making it my life. Having this sort of mentality lets me realize a lot about what is still to be done...for instance, I want to travel like crazy now... Upon examining my financial situation however, I realized that despite wanting badly to travel, I won't get to take a lot of the trips I want to take...to add to that, when I finish med school, I want to get life started...have a family, children...my carefree days are over and maybe I'll never get to have those experiences! (Perhaps a little bit of the depression comes from realizing that -- <hey you like quotes, so I'll quote Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon> -- "I'm getting too old for this $hit") So that, plus one of my close buddies who's always been so cheerful is tremendously depressed because he's getting older and has no money to do anything he'd really like...come on - med students are supposed to be the cream of the crop - and they dont make anything until well past their youth...hell my highschool friends that didn't even go to college already put downpayments on homes - I can't even afford rent -- that's gotta be depressing!!...But none of this means that I doubt my career choice!! I simply know its not gonna be easy, and I'm asking others how they've dealth with the not-so-easy times... Many people are very balanced in life, and sacrifice a little bit of that in med school (yourself included, I'm sure), and all I really want to talk about is how people stay happy... The long hours don't scare me a bit - as you noted earlier, I am a glutton for punishment...i love the hardcore life, and would want it no other way...and I'm not just talking without knowing either - I've worked for a while as a medic, so I know a little bit about what its gonna take to actually be work with the sick, and I cherish it...i too want nothing more than to be in a hospital in my thirties, my forties, my fifties, etc etc...i just dont want to not enjoy my twenties because of my educational constraints...and if i can't enjoy them, then i want to know how to stay happy regardless! if not for me, then feel what I am saying for the sake of my poor friend - cause part of the reason I'm on here asking is because when he asked me what to do -- should he take a year off or not -- I was completely lost for what to say.... I hope my situation brings more light to what I am talking about....Yea, I have nothing to be depressed about -- I am in fine health, have a beautiful girlfriend, and am stunningly handsome :lol -- but it doesnt change what actually exists out there... One thing I do want to say however is that all of you have made me see that it's not gonna be as difficult to have a good time as i thought it might be...besides -- many have gone through already, and many more will go through eventually, so my plight is insignificant in the broad scheme of things. but i do thank you very much, once again. Peace, Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest seonagh Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Hey Dave, Looking back at my post... I didn't really emphasize my intent well enough I think. I want to reiterate that I have no doubts about my chosen career - I do however worry about my mental well being as time passes For me, when the going gets tough and my education keeps me (and my husband) from having the kind of life we had before I went back to school. It is quite literally the focus on the goal that cheers me up. That and the consideration of the alternative. Since you don't doubt your choice try to focus on what you have now that you wouldn't have if you weren't in med instead of the other way around. Focus on what you will have when you are done school and for goodness sake, be creative. If you are indeed going to settle down for a family when you are done, don't think of that as an end to anything. There are lot's of interesting people that have gone on trips around the world with small children etc. It is all a matter of how you define yourself. I agree that keeping busy during the tough times will probably help and keeping physically active doing things you love will help you battle depression brain chemistry wise as well. I understand that you don't have regrets you just want to feel happier about your situation as does your friend and I don't want to oversimplify but if you focus on what you gave up it will suck and if you change your perspective to one that is more optimistic you will feel better. Continue to remind yourself that you have the power to choose what to do with your time and your life and reaffirm the reasons you chose med. As an aside I think that if you share your feelings with some of your non med friends that you are close to that are buying houses etc you will find that they too have feelings of the things they are missing out on. Making one choice always means that you are saying no (often unconciously) to a million other choices that could have been better at any given instant. It is the main reason to make sure that you do with your life things that you actively chose. If your friend decides he needs the year off he may come back to meds refreshed and renewed about his choice and that may make all of the difference. Heck I needed 12 years to get my head on straight so it could be worse. Good luck and peace back at ya. Seonagh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Thanks for the kind words Seonagh, I must admit that before I applied, and even when I had just applied, I used to have dreams that I had been accepted into medical school, and was walking around happy as can be...and people would ask me, "but you didn't even have an interview" And I would be like "Yea, I know, but I got accepted anyway..." And when I woke up sometimes I would believe I actually had been accepted and was sooo happy, but when reality sunk in, everything would come crashing down. I always believed that if and when I got in, I would be happier than ever, and I am. The fact is if I don't change my outlook, I can probably always find something to be unhappy about... By the way, I probably missed this, but what year are you in, and how do you manage having a family and medical school? Dave ps this time, you did emphasize your intent really well...your tips have been helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest seonagh Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 By the way, I probably missed this, but what year are you in, and how do you manage having a family and medical school? I'm actually finishing up and undergrad so I'm not in the lucky position to be in meds yet . It has been a MAJOR adjustment to go from a two salary home to a home with one salary and a big tuition bill. I'm squeezing basically 4 years of University into 3 as well so that means 6 courses a term and summer courses too. My husband is an angel. He has been supportive since day one even though it means that he basically has to accept the same financial trouble but he is working for someone else's dream not his own!!! Since we now live in a tiny city that is not exactly near a med school he is facing a relocation in a few years too. It amazes me everyday that he is so willing to help me do this and that has given me another thing to be thankful for because I think it has brought us closer even though we technically have less time for each other. So sometimes the sacrifices have unexpected payoffs involved too which is something else to look for to keep you positive. I would rather sit at home with him now and drink a cup of tea to cherish our little time together than all the expensive restaurant dinners we could have before but didn't really appreciate anyway:) . As for family, we don't have children yet. This is something that people have brought up to me as a sacrifice and it is true. I will be 36 when I go into residency... and even that is not exactly the best time to start a family. Depending on the specialty I could be 38 to 42 by the time I'm finished:eek . And we have always wanted to have more than one child. We are looking at the idea of me having one child and adopting one or more children as a possibility given our late start . But we will take it as it comes. I have a mantra that is "you only live once, this isn't a dress rehersal so make it count" it isn't like I get to mess around which this life and got for it in the next one. This may sound obvious but I realized I wasn't acting that way and that is when I decided to go for it. I know that for me the fact that I wasn't going for it with meds was leaving a big fat hole of regret in my heart. I think that with that hole filled I will be a better parent when and if we do chose to have them. The change in attitude means that my husband is now taking strides to slowly work towards his dream of becoming a pro photographer which is something that he always shrugged off as impractical before. So there is a trickle down affect to looking at life this way I think. Thinking about those dreams you had and the empty feeling you got when the dream of being in meds hadn't come true (I get those re: applying now too by the way LOL) maybe can give you the strength and positive focus you need to turn your thinking around in times of stress and depression. Just don't getting too bogged down and keep your eyes on the prize constantly analysing your life and motive and driving yourself to be better and better. Cheers, Seonagh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 You're awesome. Your story reminds me of my relationship somewhat....my girlfriend is currently 1/2 way through her PhD in engineering...she's definitely one of the most intelligent people I have ever met (about 10X quicker off the draw that myself, I'm first to admit), and she's totally family oriented like myself....But her plans and my plans, and our plans seem to have some hiccups on the horizon... I am gonna make her read your post about your husband and how he's changing his life for you (I joke about her leaving her PhD to move with me)...But I guess (unfortunately for me!) she's not gonna miss your section on following your dreams - her dream has always been medicine, (she took biomedical engineering for the academic challenges) and it's gonna make her want to apply even more - despite the age thing and children (she's 24 now, like myself)....But I suppose if we both get to follow our dreams and encourage each other, (she basically carriedme psychologically after my interviews) then we'll both end up in a relationship that sounds as healthy as yours. You've made my day with your story. Cheers and best of luck, I hope you fulfill your dream. Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest seonagh Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 So glad you are feeling better. Good luck to you and your girlfriend. Keep smiling and enjoy the ride. Maybe you'll be a resident somewhere I'm clerking someday . Seonagh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mollybear Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Hi torontodave! I just wanted to say that your thoughts and questions are something that many medical students ponder. There is no doubt that medicine is an extremely demanding profession and there are a lot of sacrifices to be made. But I really think its all about perspective and if you approach medicine with excitement, curiousity and a positive attitude then you'll be fine! And medical school itself while challenging and stressful at times can also be tons of fun! You will meet some of the most amazing people who will be dealing with the same struggles and stresses as you and you can really get support from one another. Also, there are a lot of opportunities to get involved in 1st and 2nd year and I really encourage you to do so! There are numerous community groups to join - which are lots of fun, you meet people, and it gives you something else to think about besides school. Also, there are many opportunities to be involved in sports (intramurals etc) and you'll always find people who are interested in the same sports you are. And there are lots of chances to go out and just chill - in our class there's the Clinical Cuisine Club where we go out every couple of months or so to try different types of food - for example - the first place we went to was a Morrocan restaurant which was pretty neat and there was a belly dancer! And as for the finances - yes it does feel overwhelming at times - but for me personally I try not to worry about it too much and I set out money to treat myself and go out for supper (sushi....right wassabi?) and have fun within reason. Hope that helps! Sonya U of O Med II And don't forget - you guys are all gonna have a wicked time during orientation week(s)!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest torontodave Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Thanks Sonya, I love trying different types of food - being from Toronto, I eat Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Lebanese, French, English,...all within a week....to try diff foods will make me less homesick! wrt to finances, yea, I do feel a little better, and I'm sure I'll survive... And as per orientation weeks, I can't wait! dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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