Best time to have a baby(?)

[hot.annie]

I was just wondering if some female(well and male I guess!) premeds and medstudents would care to share when they think the best time to have a baby would be?

 

Now while I realize that in the end it is really up to me , my partner and our circumstances, I just thought I'd get other peoples thoughts.

 

1)I am now in the process of getting a 2nd degree and will graduate in May 07. I am sure that I would have no problem going to grad school afterwards.

So - get pregnant right after 4th year and go into my Masters program and maybe do it part-time. Take the 2-3 years to raise my child and then hopefully start meds(?) - But would it be difficult with a 2ish yr old and the demands of school? Or just get preganant + have baby right before August 07 - drop the idea for Masters - and hopefully go to meds with a newborn?Or is that more insane than having a toddler?

 

2) The option I am not really liking - get pregnant during medschool and take time off? I think @ Dal they give you 6months or something along those line. But is that really enough time?

 

3) Wait until meds is over and get pregnant right after 4th year. Postpone Carms matching for a year(possible?)

 

I really want to be a young mum - and I have an awesome guy who definitely would be a great dad and since he is more part-time, I know he would be great at helping out if I get stressed. While I'm being selfish in that I want a child young, I realize that the child interests should come first and I believe(and learned) that the 1st 3yrs are so critical in a child's development and so I want to figure out the best time to be as involved in their the childs life. I realize being a doctor ex. surgeon/obgyn and such would limit my time but if the child as older wouldnt it be easier?

What do you guys think? Anyone in the same boat - or in got pregnant in meds? Right after? Right before?

 

thanks in advance!

[Satsuma]

I don`t have kids so can`t comment from experience. I personally suspect it is easier when they are a bit older than actually being pregnant and having a newborn in school. I also don`t have any examples of women having babies while in school just men. While certainly challenging, is not the same as if they were actually having the baby.

 

But I did just wanted to let you know (in case you hadn`t considered it yet) that in residency you will be entitled to mat leave benefits...something you wouldn`t have while a student.

 

I will leave with a comment my old riding coach once said ...she said that if she had waited for "the right" time to have a baby, she never would have had kids. For her, it just had to happen and you manage your life to accomodate the change.

[Jocelynk]

When you have a baby, I think it's best to have nothing on your agenda but your wee one. I have a 3 month old right now and couldn't imagine having to part with her for xx hours during the day. She's too cute and when they're this young, you can miss out on so, so much. You will want time to treasure them as an infant. It's the easier stage.

 

You also don't want to overdo yourself post partum. There are a lot of challanges that come with a baby. For me, the baby was the easy part, it's the relationship that gets hard. Your body suffers a heck of a lot during pregnancy and delivery, so you do need time to recover.

 

Toddlers... I grew up with a younger sister (well... She was born when I was 18), and I currently have two young nephews, so I've seen the toddler stage and it is one of the most frustrating stages. You won't get time to study - you'll be too busy chasing them around the house, stealing back your pens and pencils, and trying to scrape off the crayon from your text books!

 

I am planning on applying for med school the same year that my daughter is entering kindergarden.

 

Emotionally, there is no perfect time to balance children and school - you'll never be prepared for the challanges, so you just have to let whatever happens happen.

 

Oh and... Being pregnant while in school may or may not be a good idea. If I were in school while I was pregnant, I would have been in the bathroom throwing up every day and missing class. Only 20% of women get morning sickness, though and even less of us get it the whole pregnancy (lucky me...)

[hot.annie]

True - I guess there is never really 'the best time'. You could end up putting it off until just right before menopause really!

 

I am thinking right now of hopefully going through meds and then having children after medschool - sometime during residency. We'll see!

 

thnx Satsuma & Jocelyn

[Kirsteen]

Hi there,

 

The amount of support you'll receive during medical school from your medical school probably depends on the policies of the medical school itself. At UofC we have had two ladies in our class give birth during first year and then also, second year. UofC seemed quite flexible in the time allowed off for both women: for one, she took the maximum allowable two years off and for the other, she took a year off and will be re-joining the class below us for clerkship.

 

As echoed by some of what was said above, I have heard from others that residency is a great time to have children. For one, you receive maternity benefits, i.e., pay. Two, many programs will let you take three to twelve months off. If you opt for three then, from what I've heard, this time does not have to be made up at the end of residency, so the residency is not lengthened. (Seems a bit odd and unfair to those who don't become parents during the program, but it is certainly a positive.)

 

A last bit on having children during residency, during CaRMS time, most especially interviews, I have heard from some Program Directors and faculty directly that they don't want to encourage ladies to have children during their program and some screen for this during the interview. I know that some have become quite angry when learning that their residents have become pregnant during their training. This is a touchy topic during interviews so best be prepared for it, just in case it arises (even though it's beyond the realm of interview law).

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen