who NOT to pick as reference?

[Guest avisee]

There are a few obvious people not to pick as references - eg, family members, or people who feel your work was not up to par and will undoubtedly give you a bad review. But it's hard to say where to draw the line otherwise. Are there other people that would be inappropriate to use?

 

For example, would it be inappropriate to use a longtime family friend? My parents have this friend who is also the parent of one of my friends, who has known me since I was about 5 years old. This person probably has the most realistic perception of who I am in the real world outside of the workplace, and is also a professional who may be able to comment on my potential to pursue higher education and work in a professional capacity. Would it be wrong to list someone whose relationship is best described as "family friend"?

[Guest thecod]

i don't think that would be appropriate. almost everyone has a family friend like that. that type of closeness to a person makes him/her unacceptable to be used as a reference. maybe if this family friend was more distant, and he was also your boss, for example - then it would seem acceptable to me.

[Guest Kirsteen]

Hi there,

 

Generally you would not wish to pick anyone who could not make statements and provide examples about most or all of the qualities listed on the OUAC form. Additionally, another important yardstick to apply for any individuals who you are considering approaching for reference letters is: would they be perceived as being positively biased towards me? (In this latter group would fall family members, family friends, etc.)

 

Flipping this advice over, you would wish to find letter writers who are not only objective but also, who could comment on all the qualities on the OUAC application form.

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen

[Guest avisee]

Of course, I know what *ideally* I would do.

 

At this point, I'm just trying to find anyone who knows me well enough to fill out the darn thing.

[Guest peachy]

I think that I would settle for a solid letter from someone more appropriate than for a glowing letter from a family friend. But if you really don't know ANYBODY else well, then it's certainly better than not applying at all!

 

One thing to keep in mind is that you may have more people to ask than you think! It's easy to get the perception that you need to have done something really significant with a reference--a research project, a major extracurricular, etc. But it's okay (and very common!) to ask a professor that you have taken one course with and done well in. It may not be *ideal* but it's very accepted and can result in a very good letter, depending on the professor!

[Guest aneliz]

I think it is not appropriate to get a reference from a family friend... it is equally inappropriate to get a reference from your family doctor, your priest, your neighbour, etc... unless you have had a WORKING relationship with this person. For example: if you did volunteer work with your parish priest, he could write your reference based on that or if you worked for your neighbour babysitting for a summer, she could write the reference based on that job. Unless you have spent a good amount of time with your family doctor in a capacity other than as a patient (ie working, volunteering, shadowing, etc) they are not an appropriate reference either.

 

In general, your references should fall under one of the following categories:

 

1. Academic instructors - profs, TA's, thesis supervisors, etc (high school teachers are a bit of a stretch here though...)

 

2. Volunteer work - supervisors, etc

 

3. Extra-currics - coaches, conductors, directors, instructors,(team-mates in a pinch...but not as first choice)

 

4. Employment - bosses, supervisors, senior co-workers (but not co-workers of equivalent level)

 

You should be able to come up with three people from these categories...

 

I would NOT use family friends, parent's friends, etc.

[Guest FrenchyMed]

I applied twice.

The 1st time I used a family member (who runs a hospital) and I got an interview.

The 2nd time I used a family friend (with whom I've travelled and hung out, as an adult) and I got an interview and an acceptance.

I guess it depends on the letter they write.

I think it's all about the spin they put on your relationship.

 

Maybe Ottawa does not give much weight to reference letters. Who knows...

 

I say go with people who know you well enough to give you a decent and sincere ref letter.

[Guest aneliz]

It definitely depends on the school... I have no idea what Ottawa does with references, but I know that UWO doesn't look at them at all... so it wouldn't really matter to your UWO application if you picked your kindergarten teacher, the mail carrier for your house and your best friend... you would still have a reasonable shot at admission... however, having a letter from Nobel prize winner wouldn't help you either!:b

 

You need to check to see what the school you are applying for does with the letters and if they have any specific requirements. That said, I still feel that you should have people that have known you outside of a 'friendship' evaluate you.