Sergie Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 Hi everyone! I need a piece of advice from everyone who's willing to contribute into discussion. I feel like I am unable to answer this question on my own but probably this will be interesting topic for many of us. I am in class 2008 in McGill and having a dilemma when it would be better to take a maternity leave in terms of age, academics, finances ( my husband and I have no debts but are paying mortagage) and so on? I am 34 now, starting med school in August. We already have a 10-yo son, who is pretty independent. My husband is working, and we live in Laval (2.5-4h of commuting to DT Montreal daily). I know there must be two month vacation period next year and third year could be done somewhere else but not in Montreal, then residency - even more questionable period. What are the pros and cons for each period, what do you guys think? I am more inclined to summer /09 or the second half of the first year of residency just because I feel there will be more space for maneuvre, I will be either 35 or 38 but want to have a second child badly Thanks in advance, hope to hear your thoughts and experiences. s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satsuma Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 Hi there, I personally cannot imagine having a baby in med school! Though I know it has been done in the past. There are a few in my class who had babies during school....but they were all guys! So a completely different situation. I would imagine that it would be easier to have a baby when you are in the first 2 years when you are doing coursework rather than in clerkship. It is alot easier to miss class than it would be to miss a clinical shift. Once in clerkship, you have very little control over your shedule. You often are not really done when your shift is supposed to end. You have to do call and you will be working weekends and evenings/nights depending on the rotation. Despite often working more hours than a person who holds a typical full-time job you will need to find time to study and prepare for any coursework you may have (sometimes you will need to do presentations etc.). Depending on your school there may be mandatory rural rotations (so you may need to be out of town). 4th year would be harder as you will be travelling around the country completing electives and then travelling around the country for interviews for residency for a good part of the year. I suppose 4th year could be done pregnant...but I think actually having a baby at this time would be hard if you want to be around. Personally, if I were to consider having a baby, I would do it during residency and just take the year off. Once in residency you will qualify for maternity leave, so that is a pro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchepsout Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 I would suggest during residency if you can wait that long. You will have a revenue (about 40,000$) and be allowed to a maternity leave (I think it's 3 months) with partial revenue (it's pretty good %). Check on the Carms website, they list the benefits of each school for residency. Not only will it help financially but I also think the program will be more flexible at that point regarding taking a few weeks/months off Of course depending on what you choose as a residency program). Having a baby before residency is also very risky, what if you need more than 2 months off school, you would have to miss one whole year because of the lack of flexibility of the md program. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergie Posted June 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Thank you so much! Well, you've confirmed what I thought. But why would one reject the idea of having a baby during first two years while in school and before clinicals? Just because there is too much material to consume? Or there are other reasons I am not aware of? What I am trying to say is that revenue during residency is an important factor but being 39 instead of 35 let's say... could be of more significance for my and baby's health. Or it's not? Just as I am seeing the situation is that this way or the other I will have to sacrifice one year of studies (most probably me, because my husband would not take a whole year off) during med school. So, it is probably better to have a baby ASAP , i.e. next summer, and stay home until 2010, then continue studying for 3 ys of med school. I am not sure if it is possible though... In this case when I begin clinicals the baby will reach the age of 2, and will be 4-5 yo when I start residency. At 2 she/he could go to a kindergarten, at 4-5 - to a primary school. And I am still 4 years younger as a mom, right? While being a resident, I'll be close to 40, and will have only a few-month maternity leave option instead of 1 year off, and more tired after all. If you look this way, what would you say? Thanks again. s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worriedandwaiting Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hi Sergie, I think your plan is a good one, especially considering your age in regards to the babies health. Be sure to check with your school to make sure that you can take a year off during the pre-clinical years. It would be easier to catch up on the school work (reading at home) with the baby than it will be to go to work full time or to travel for interviews and such. I guess it will also depend on how much support you will have (ie. other family to help watch the baby when you're at school etc). Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchepsout Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 I would also check with the school regarding taking a year off. For the age, I think you should talk to your doctor, who might also be able to understand the commitment to med school and the feasability of it. On the other hand, I know many women who had babies between 35 and early 40s (including one who is a doctor and started having kids at 35 and now has 6). But I think your doctor is the one who should advise you regarding health, age and pregnancy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satsuma Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 You can take a full year in residency not just a few months. The age you have your baby is a personal choice. Certainly there are new mom's around 40 who deliver perfectly healthy babies as there are mom's in their 20s who deliver unhealthy ones. As you have already had 1 child, you may recall that there are a number of tests (IPS) done to help detect early on risks of having an unhealthy child and give you options. I think the earlier suggestions of seeking counselling with your family doctor though is a good one. And of course remember that baby making doesn't always go as planned. The timing may end up a little off from what you planned, you may deliver prematurely, you may have twins, there could be complications (you or baby) before or after delivery etc. So just be prepared to accept the impact should things go off your scheduled plan. (as I am sure you have considered). If you plan on taking a whole year off in med school, it probably doesnt`really matter when you take it off, you will join the class below you (2011) and just graduate a year later. Permitted your school will let you. I suspect they would. I guess if I had to choose I would take the year off between 2nd and 3rd year. Since 3rd and 4th year you are on various clinical rotations, I think it would be easier integrating with a new class in 3rd year than 2nd...well maybe not easier, just maybe not as important, cause you often don`t see other people from your class. Thank you so much! Well, you've confirmed what I thought. But why would one reject the idea of having a baby during first two years while in school and before clinicals? Just because there is too much material to consume? Or there are other reasons I am not aware of? What I am trying to say is that revenue during residency is an important factor but being 39 instead of 35 let's say... could be of more significance for my and baby's health. Or it's not? Just as I am seeing the situation is that this way or the other I will have to sacrifice one year of studies (most probably me, because my husband would not take a whole year off) during med school. So, it is probably better to have a baby ASAP , i.e. next summer, and stay home until 2010, then continue studying for 3 ys of med school. I am not sure if it is possible though... In this case when I begin clinicals the baby will reach the age of 2, and will be 4-5 yo when I start residency. At 2 she/he could go to a kindergarten, at 4-5 - to a primary school. And I am still 4 years younger as a mom, right? While being a resident, I'll be close to 40, and will have only a few-month maternity leave option instead of 1 year off, and more tired after all. If you look this way, what would you say? Thanks again. s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noncestvrai Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Since you're at McGill, I have seen at least one lady a year above me who ended up in my class because she took a year for maternity between 1st and 2nd I think. The best thing would be to talk to the associate dean of undergraduate affairs to set this up. My advice, is to actually defer this year, since you will have 2 years with time to spend with the child, and you may very well know that the first two years of life are very important for child development, and preclinical years allow for lots more time off. On the other hand, having a child in residency gives you a PAID mat leave, but I think a normal parent will prefer a healthy baby over a few $... My 2 cents. noncestvrai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clobliss Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 First of all, let me say that you are in inspiration for me. I have 2 children (3 and 1) and have been applying to med school for 2 years now. The first year I applied, I got pregnant in October. I continued with the application thinking that if I got in, I would defer for a year, since I had my baby last July. But I didn't get passed the interview. Then this year I re-applied and am now on the waiting list, although I don't have much hope at this point. I'm trying again one more time and hopefully that will be it for me. I was in the same boat as you. I am only 27, but I wanted one more child closer to my first. So we did and I'm sure it'll work fine. I think all things considered, it would be easier for you to have a child in residency. However, if you don't wanna wait that long, I would do it between 1st and 2nd yr. Then that first year back is still in pre-clinical and not as hard to manage with a young child. Just my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolvenstar Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 first I want to honestly admit I didn't read what anyone else put, so I apologize if I am just repeating everyone else. I've known people who had kids in med school, but it was their wife/girlfriend carrying the child around, so I am not sure how the stresses of being pregnant and med school fit together. Frankly if you really want one, than have one. You sound like you have a supportive family, and are a strong person, I think you will do just fine. You age is an important factor to me. If I have wanted to have another kid and was your age, I would have it sooner rather than later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookiemeds Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 In my experience there is no "right" time in your medical training to have a baby. I think the best bet is to decide when is right for you and your partner, and then work around that. Several women in our class had children during med school - some took a year off and joined the class below and some took a month or two and graduated with our class. It's difficult but very doable, and it will still be difficult but doable if you wait for residency or beyond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergie Posted June 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 Since you're at McGill, I have seen at least one lady a year above me who ended up in my class because she took a year for maternity between 1st and 2nd I think. The best thing would be to talk to the associate dean of undergraduate affairs to set this up. My advice, is to actually defer this year, since you will have 2 years with time to spend with the child, and you may very well know that the first two years of life are very important for child development, and preclinical years allow for lots more time off. On the other hand, having a child in residency gives you a PAID mat leave, but I think a normal parent will prefer a healthy baby over a few $... My 2 cents. noncestvrai WOW! I should admit I did not expect this thread to be more than one page long! Thanks to you guys! So, I start with studying first, I guess Then, I'll see how I fit "working around having a baby", right? Then, I'll talk to the associate dean of undergraduate affairs to set this up. And, probably, at the end of this fall it will be clear what to do next (do not understand me literally). noncestvrai, you are saying it is actually better to defer this year and then take a year off, right? So, it comes to two years off of school? How could this be done? Sorry, I have no idea how this works Could you explain please? PS: Answering a remark above, Wow! You're a brave student, considering med and baby... and also very fortunate to be able to have the choice to have a child (I'm very jealous!!) Best of luck to you everyone can have children - just have to begin adopting to this idea, the consequences are to follow. Wholeheartedly appreciate your help and comments, s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noncestvrai Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 You don't have to defer this year, do the first year while with child, defer next year, I guess you would like your expected date of confinement to be well after school is done ~end of June, to optimise the free time, and of course you WANT to give yourself some "room to manoeuvre", since pregnancies can be unpredictable too, as mentionned. That's just one way to go about it, and will essentially give you about two years with the child pre-clerkship. There is no "magic formula", sometimes you just have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. However, being younger gives you more leeway, obviously. You should also get a fam med/obs to follow you. Good luck! noncestvrai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergie Posted June 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 My advice, is to actually defer this year, since you will have 2 years with time to spend with the child, and you may very well know that the first two years of life are very important for child development, and preclinical years allow for lots more time off. You don't have to defer this year, do the first year while with child, defer next year, I guess you would like your expected date of confinement to be well after school is done ~end of June, to optimise the free time, and of course you WANT to give yourself some "room to manoeuvre", since pregnancies can be unpredictable too, as mentionned. That's just one way to go about it, and will essentially give you about two years with the child pre-clerkship. There is no "magic formula", sometimes you just have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. However, being younger gives you more leeway, obviously. You should also get a fam med/obs to follow you. Good luck! noncestvrai Thanks, that's a good idea I guess. But what if I finish first year of med school being pregnant, then (assuming delivery happens during the summer 09) I take a year off as a maternity leave (2009/2010), then defer the next year (2010/2011) and, thus, will end up in class 2010 during its second year of med school. Is it possible, what would you say? I mean I am not sure I can do meds while with a 2-3 month-old child, unrealistic for me, unfortunately. You are right saying that the first two years are the most important for the child's development. Even though it's highly preferable and desirable, this is something that really bothers me: how feasible is to have two years off instead of one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noncestvrai Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 I was talking about ONE year off, for about the first 12 months of the BB's life, that is if you take the leave in the summer of 2009. If you want more that a year, you'll have to discuss it with the associate dean, I'm not sure if it's possible, in any case you have to talk to her about it. In my first post I wrote to defer the first year, but it makes more sense to have the year off while the child is born, rather than while pregnant, that's why I made the second suggestion. noncestvrai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergie Posted June 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 I was talking about ONE year off, for about the first 12 months of the BB's life, that is if you take the leave in the summer of 2009. If you want more that a year, you'll have to discuss it with the associate dean, I'm not sure if it's possible, in any case you have to talk to her about it. In my first post I wrote to defer the first year, but it makes more sense to have the year off while the child is born, rather than while pregnant, that's why I made the second suggestion. noncestvrai It defenetely helps, thanks alot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergie Posted June 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 (Response to your comment RE mine Well... uh... no, I can't... I guess I can adopt, but that's a bit different than having to carry a baby for 9 months in med So... You are a man! ( I hope I am right and this is not because of some health issues ) Anyhow, I was also thinking of adopting a BB but decided against, at least for now. Honestly, I am not brave, I am VERY scared considering how life takes turns somethimes However, having only one son is even scarier, believe me. Moreover, it is dificult for him cause he feels overwelmed with my attention from time to time. Thanks to everyone again, now I see that while on mat leave I will do my USMLEs to be in shape Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergie Posted June 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 first I want to honestly admit I didn't read what anyone else put, so I apologize if I am just repeating everyone else. I've known people who had kids in med school, but it was their wife/girlfriend carrying the child around, so I am not sure how the stresses of being pregnant and med school fit together. Frankly if you really want one, than have one. You sound like you have a supportive family, and are a strong person, I think you will do just fine. You age is an important factor to me. If I have wanted to have another kid and was your age, I would have it sooner rather than later. Well... At least it is worth trying, I agree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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