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Simpsons Medicine?


Guest RageoftheDragon

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Guest RageoftheDragon

Just saw the monorail episode, where Homer is practicing his Monorail Conducter Aptitude Tests...heehee.

 

True or false: You can get mono from riding the monorail.

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Guest DonaldKaufman

I suppose it is true in a hypothetical sense. Making out with a contagious person while taking the Sky train home from the bars late at night, for example.

Nick Riviera would have been a great nickname for this forum. Damn! Or Julius Hibbert for that matter.

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Guest UWOMED2005

Best episode ever: The one where Homer needs CABG.

 

Dr. Nick Riviera: "Oh, It's my good friend Mr. McGregg

With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg"

 

or. . .

 

"The Coroner? Oh no, I'm so sick of that guy. . ."

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Guest MikeD

The CABG one is classic...

 

"I'll perform any operation...129.95!!! You've tried the best, now try the rest! Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!"

 

Dr. Nick to the operating theatre crowd:

"If something should go wrong...let's not get the law involved. One hand washes the other. Oh! That reminds me"

 

and

"The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. Uh oh."

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Guest Nightriders19

what's really funny is that ever since my interviews, my fiance had been calling me his "doctorb"...and invariably one of us will add "the b is for bargain"...and I've gotten so used to it that when I finally got accepted, I turned to him and said "honey, I'm going to be a doctorb!!!!" without even thinking about it (and of course the first thing he said was "the b is for bargain" :) )...and there's been a couple times I've been close to telling other people that I'm going to be a "doctorb"

 

hehehehe...gotta love the simpsons

 

Nightrider

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Guest RageoftheDragon

Heehee, my buddies are trying to convince me to ditch a legit med school to go to Regina's equivalent of the Hollywood Upstairs Medical School; The O'Hanlon's Upstairs Medical School. I'm currently on the waitlist, damn picky pub-med schools.

 

"Really baby, I can prescribe Anything!"

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Guest DonaldKaufman

Also a classic that no one mentioned:

 

Hospital official (while naming various other offenses): You've been cited for illegal use of the cadavers.

 

Dr. Nick: I get here faster when I use the carpool lane!

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Guest marbledust

My favorite:

 

The gloves came free with my toilet brush.

 

and of course...

 

Holy smokes! You need booze!

 

 

:rollin

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Guest medicator007

"Calm down, you're going to give yourself skin failure"

 

or my favourite diagnosis: Bonus Erruptus, that's where the skeleton tries to jump out of the body

 

and lastly, has anyone ever used hypohemia in real life?

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Guest MikeD

Hypohemia reminded me of another classic Homer-Bart moment from the Pepe episode:

 

Bart - Dad, remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed 'I'm a hemophiliac!', and when he let you go, you kicked him in the back? Could you teach me how to do that?

 

Homer - First, you have to shriek like a little girl. When he turns his head away in disgust, then it's time to KICK SOME BACK!

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Guest AidaVerdi

(Homer with an amputated thumb and no money to pay for reattachment surgery)

 

Marge: Isn't there anything you could do?

Dr. Hibbert: Well, I could cut off the other finger for a sense of symmetry.

Homer: Symmetry, eh?

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Guest CTU24

Great Thread..here's my favorite...

 

"Mr. Burns was taken to the local hospital and pronounced dead upon arrival...he was then transferred to a better hospital and his status was upgraded to ALIVE."

 

CTU24

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Guest McMastergirl

One of my faves is when Lisa is visiting her saxophone-playing hero in the hospital, and Bart comes in mooning them with a face drawn on his butt:

"Hello... I'm Dr. Cheeks... I've been doing my rounds and I'm a little BEHIND..."

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Guest quebecboy

THis is my favorite, when homer tries to pack on a few pounds to become disabled:

 

Dr. Nick: You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!

 

Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?

 

Dr. Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!

 

Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!

 

Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!

 

This one's pretty good too when Bart gets run over by Mr. Burns:

 

Lionel Hutz: "Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor, I'm not a doctor, the boy's not a doctor. The only person in this room that even comes close is this man."

 

Dr. Nick: "Stop...you're embarrassing me!"

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