newton13 Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 just wondering if anyone could give some brief comments on my mcat essay. a score and helpful pointers would help! thanks very much!!! topic: The successful politician should resemble ordinary voters. essay: In a democracy, leaders are those who are elected by the people, to act as representatives fulfilling the needs of the population. In this context, the successful politician is one who can mobilize the population by gaining positive public opinion, and who can be re-elected, thereby extending his/her own political career. One prominent quality that contributes to the success of a politician is their ability to appear mundane, or like any ordinary citizen. In doing so, the voters see the politician as someone they can relate to, someone who will pass legislation that favours others like themselves. In the past, this has been one of the strategies of the Republican Party. They strive to create the image of the "Ordinary Joe" in an effort to seem tangible to their voters, and win elections. This strategy has proven very effective. However, it is not always the case that the majority of the population will respond to this kind of strategy. There are instances when politicians must exude an elite image, highlighting the difference between them and the ordinary citizen. This type of campaign strategy is more prominent among the Democratic candidates. A specific example where the successful politician was made to seem extraordinary was in the presidential elections in which the NAFTA discussions were very prominent. Bill Clinton was the more educated in the matters of the economy and the NAFTA issues compared to his opponents. Highlighting these extraordinary qualities, he was successful in winning the presidency. This example shows that there are exceptions to the rule of the mundane politician. Many factors determine the success of a politician in a democracy, but whether one should attempt to resemble an ordinary citizen can be known by following specific criteria. If the election is based on many diverse issues, none of which are overly dominant, than resembling an ordinary citizen can be a successful strategy toward political success. However, if an election is based on one salient issue, the economy for example, it would be wise for a politician to highlight extraordinary expertise in that area, and stand apart from the ordinary voter. These political strategies will ensure election success, and positive public opinion, which is of ultimate importance to a politician. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ontariostudent Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Looks pretty good to me! One comment, though- I don't know if the marker will care but if you are referring to a single person, don't use "they". I know it's tempting, but either change it to politicians or else use he/she. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 I agree . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GorillaGlue Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Here's my take: First paragraph: Your arguments are sound, but you could elaborate a bit more with the examples (i.e. first paragraph on the Republicans could be made more concrete if you drop a name). The thing with writing is that you can make stuff up, so if you don't have a reference handy, just make one up! Second Paragraph: You need to make your argument more explicit here, and maybe put it before your example. Good example, although you could elaborate more on what NAFTA is. (I know what it is, but for the MCAT, never assume the reader knows what you are talking about!) Third paragraph: Solid synthesis! Overall it looks good, and if it is your first essay, then you've got a good foundation in writing (which is hard to study for sometimes). But there's always room to improve, and since Western and Queens have hard cutoffs, you want to aim for at least a Q/R... Hope that helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TurkandJD Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 What's the approximate length expected for WS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GorillaGlue Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 It's more of a quality vs quantity issue. My essays were a little longer than the essay below, but marginally. I wouldn't focus so much on the length as the actual arguments and examples presented. You'll find that once you flesh out your actual argument and word definitions, and then examples, you'll have a good length already. Just be wary of constantly repeating yourself just to lengthen your essay. If you find yourself doing that, then it means that your argument is weak because it is not being elaborated upon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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