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..............................................Post#775

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A student's academic success depends more on hard work than on intelligence.

 

Describe a specific situation in which a student's academic success might depend more on intelligence than on hard work. Discuss what you think determines whether a student's academic success depends more on hard work or on intelligence.

 

 

Academic success is used by admissions committee of many professional schools including medicine, pharmacy and business. These schools realize that academic success is a bad criteria to use because academic success often depends on the hard work used doe by a student. Success in academics is to be able to get good marks in courses taken in school. It is the ability to do good on tests and projects assigned by your teachers. Both of these tasks can be accomplished by hard work. Hard work is when a student places their school above all else and works towards achieving success at schools as their primary task. Often academic success is achieved by all students who work towards achieving the best they can in class. During my time in high school, I was not able to get very high marks. I was an average science student, achieving usual grades in the 70 range. However, as time passed and I moved on to University, I realized that achieving grades is an easy task. I started doing lots of practice and started spending more and more time towards school. As soon as I made school a top priority, the mark started increasing. I now realize that academic success is a result of hard work done by a student towards their academic career.

 

When I was placed under a laboratory environment however, the hard work did not seem to work. Working in the lab for hours and hours did not get me good conclusive results. I was able to get many results, but I was unable to get conclusive results that would help me prove my hypothesis. At this point I realized that working in a lab requires more than hard work, it also requires creativity. The creative aspect of a researcher is obvious when he or she is able to come up with great methods to test a difficult hypothesis. Creativity is according to psychology a type of intelligence. Albert Einstein is a perfect example for intelligent achieving academic success. Albert Einstien is known for his intelligent thinking, not his hard work in school. His creative thinking is what helped him come up with the theory of relativity. In this case, the Intelligence of the researcher is much more useful than hard work.

 

In a person's life, both hard work and intelligence are important. While the scientist is undergoing his or her learning of basics as they do in high school and during undergraduate studies, the hard work is very much important. But when the scientist moves on do to individual research and work, their ability to do think intelligently and their ability to carry out intelligent analysis becomes critical. A researcher will only receive support for research if their project is attainable and that is only done via creative thinking. Scientists are some of the most creative thinkers and their success is determined by how creative they are and how high their intelligence. A persistent researcher will never be as successful as Albert Einstein if they do not have any intelligent thinking power.

 

 

The End

 

 

Question for you: In this essay I have restricted my discussion to a student of science. I don't believe my argument can apply to a student of business or other fields.. Do you think I have done a good job restricting my discussion to a student of science? or will the reader criticize my essay and say that "well a person working in the business field does not need creative thinking, thus this essay does not make sense"

 

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent manner.

 

It might be best to restrict yourself to one personal anecdote, and have something else as the other example entirely. It will make your arguments more compelling. Generally, I would stay away from personal anecdotes, unless I can make a compelling argument from them. If you do make one as in the first example, it would be good to add more specifics, like hours you put in, did you read outside material, what were some of the courses where you saw the improvement, etc... This will add specificity and depth to your arguments, and will make them more compelling.

 

Whether you agree with adcoms or not, it would be fitting for your essay to state that academic success is a good criteria to use. This will strengthen your argument.

 

If you were to extend your argument outside of academic science and included businesses/entrepreneurs, it would be fine as well-actually, better since it means that your idea applies to more cases. It makes your argument more powerful. A person in business needs to be creative, this is what makes businesses successful in competitive situations. It takes a type of business intuition to monitor trends in the market and the like and to translate that into more sales and ultimately more profit. It takes a creative mind to maximize profits for the company and to come up with innovative solutions to overcome unnecessary costs which hinder profit. The very nature of entrepreneurship is to find some existing resource, find some creative and innovative solution, attract buyers, then turn that resource into economic productivity and profit.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

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hopefully you get to this before september 10!

 

Also I had one question, should we include indentations at the beginning of each paragraph?

 

Prompt:

Advancments in communication technology have reduced the quality of human interaction

 

The quality of human interactions can be defined by many parameters and it is not always clear which parameter has the most importance. For example is the length of a conversation between two people more important then the frequency of communication? One might ultimately conclude that the content exchanged, i.e. the meaningfulness, of a communication is the ultimate determining factor. From this standpoint lets examine one of the most substantial advancements in technology in the past century, the cellphone and text messaging. The text messaging format allows for short interactions. This is because when sending a text message the recipient doesn't necessarily have to respond, or if they do they can respond with one letter answers that have no deeper meaning. This short type of conversation doesn't allowing for deeper meaning to the communication and thus the quality of the interaction is severely reduced.

 

On the other hand another type of advancement, video calling, has allowed a higher quality of interaction. A perfect example is Skype. Now telephone conversations can be enhanced by adding live video so that particpants can see one another. This type of face-to-face interaction allows one to express emotions with facial cues and other actions that provide depth and meaning to communication. Prior to this that same type of intereaction could only occur in person.

 

 

Ultimately what determines whether or not a advancement improves the quality of interaction is what type of advancement it is. If the advancement allows for more meaningful interaction, like skype, that it can improve the quality of interaction. On the other hand, if it limits the interaction , like text messaging, it can severely decrease the quality of the interaction.

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Thanks for the feedback

 

Any ideas on how I could've improved the final task? I was struggling to come up with criteria based on the examples I gave.

 

I had a look at your essay again. Actually, the second example was rather weak and this made it really difficult for you to come up with a good criteria for arbitration. Have a look at essays by other members on the topic. Some used a certain subject for the counter-example. Then the criteria could be the type of subject.

 

The counter-example that you came up with was something along the lines of: some students who are intelligent have an easier time in school. Whereas, you need to come up with an example such as: in quantum mechanics, no matter how much hard work a student puts in, they cannot achieve the same level of success as a gifted student who has a high level of intelligence...etc...

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..............................................Post#776

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Plans for achieving social justice can succeed only when those affected give their approval.

 

Government policies for achieving equality are only created after significant voter pressure. For instance, in 2005 the Canadian government introduced a bill to change the legal definition of marriage to include homosexual partners. This was done after polls indicated significant public support for the legalization of same-sex marriage. Pubic support was generated by massive awareness campaigns initiated by gay and lesbian communities across Canada; bringing awareness to this issue, and encouraging the public to contact their local Member of Parliament expressing their support for the bill.

 

However, there have also been instances of governments passing bills promoting social justice without voter pressure. Such was the case with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms is a constitutional amendment guaranteeing numerous rights and freedoms, and ensuring equality for all Canadians regardless of race, creed, age or gender. This plan for ensuring social justice was created by progressive politicians unaffected by voter pressure, and passed by the government on their own accord.

 

In general, government policies for achieving social justice are created when significant public pressure is placed on politicians. This can be done through public awareness campaigns and contacting local Members of Parliament. However, there are circumstances when progressive governments pass bills promoting social justice on their own accord. Such was the case with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, a personal goal of then Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau. However, citizens cannot always rely on progressive leaders to always strive for social justice. Therefore, to achieve social justice citizens must apply significant voter pressure on politicians.

 

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Ideas are undeveloped.

 

Adequate control of language.

 

The first task was not adequately completed. You will need to explain how: Plans for achieving social justice can succeed only when those affected give their approval. You may need to expand upon voter pressure and the relationship to approval by those affected. The first example is good, but you will need to connect it to the prompt. What conclusion can you draw from your example, and what does it mean? Does your example show that Plans for achieving social justice can succeed only when those affected give their approval. You may wish to clarify what social justice means as well to set the stage for your argument. The counter-example was adequate. The final task was not sufficiently completed.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

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..............................................Post#777

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In times of war, maintaining public support is often the most difficult battle.

 

In fighting a war, maintaining public morale is important to achieving pre-war goals. To declare a war, democratic nations must receive popular support from the general public. Maintaining this public support throughout the conflict is often the most difficult battle. For instance, in 2003 the War in Iraq was declared with the support of a majority of democratically elected officials representing the general public. This was largely due to the mistaken notion that Iraq posed a threat to US national security and was partially involved in the 9/11 attacks. Eight years later it is clear that public support for the war has waned. This is largely due to the fact that it has been proven that Iraq was not a threat to US national security was not involved in the 9/11 attacks. Consequently, one of the first promises US President Barack Obama made upon being elected was a full withdrawal of troops from Iraq, despite a lack of success for pre-war goals of stability and democracy for Iraq.

 

However, under different circumstances maintain public support is easier. Take for example the War in Afghanistan. After the 9/11 attacks, Afghanistan refused to hand over the mastermind of the attacks, Osama Bin Laden, and became a perceived threat to US national security. As a result, the US invaded Afghanistan with overwhelming public support. After a decade in conflict and a considerable lack of success, public support for the Afghanistan War continues to be strong. Due to this support the US is able to remain in Afghanistan and continue to attempt their pre-war goals of stability and democracy for Afghanistan.

 

Maintaining public support throughout a war is one of the most difficult battles. Often times the circumstances surrounding the war dictate public support for it. If a nation had been attacked or views another nation as a perceived threat to their national security, public support for the war is easier to maintain. Such was the case with the still popular war in Afghanistan. However, if the nation neither attacked nor is it a perceived threat to national security, public support for the war is difficult to maintain. Such was the case for the now unpopular war in Iraq. Therefore for nations to overcome their most significant hurdle in achieving their pre-war goals, they must initiate wars under favourable circumstances.

 

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Ideas are undeveloped.

Adequate control of language.

 

You may wish to expand on each of the examples to add depth. The third task is sufficient.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

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..............................................Post#784

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Progress often complicates as much as it simplifies.

 

Progress is the advancement in a particular field. It exposes us to new ideas and methodology, and provides multiple options to perform a certain task. Due to the multiple options provided by progress in a particular field, the task of choosing and understanding the options turns into a complex task. Progress can be achieved in an array of fields such as technology, heatlh care, education system etc. As mentioned earlier, progress in a field could complicate the undestanding of the options, and such an example can be seen with the advancements made in detecting possible carcinogens. Due to the increase in the proportion of people suffering from multiple forms of cancer, tremendous progress has been made in detecting the possible agents that could lead to/cause cancer. Some possible carcinogens are bpa found in bottles, excessively burnt food, growth hormones fed to poultry etc. Due to the extensive knowledge on possible carcinogens, consumers find it extremely difficut to eliminate such a vast number of things from their diet and lifestyle. The examples provided above are very few compared to the amount of knowledge actually available. Thus, ensuring the removal of all possible carcinogens is very tedious as well as difficult to achieve. Even though, knowledge about carcinogens is enlightening, it overwhelms the general public and complicates the issue of what to eliminate and what not to eliminate.

 

However, not all progress made in particular fields gives rise to complexity. For instance, the advancement in the water treatment systems in poverty stricken countries has made it easier for the people to have access to clean water. Prior to this progress, techniques such as boiling the water or use of chlorine was used to filter and clean tap water; making it a tedious process to consume clean water. However, due to the progress in water treatment systems, access to clean and filtered water is available to the people. This technology removed the need to perform steps such as boiling of water, and thus allowing to simplify the process of drinking clean water.

 

Therefore, the issue of progress complicating or simplifying issues is contingent upon the number of options/details provided by the progress. Due to the progress made in cancer research, the numerous caricogens identified overwhelm the general public and complicates the task of altering lifestyle. Since altering the lifestyle and diet to remove possible carcinogens entails eliminating a lot of items, this process gets complicated due to the vast number of carcinogens provided. On the contrary, this is not the case with the advancement made in water treatment systems. Due to this progress the different ways opted by the people to filter and clean water are eliminated by the simple water treatment system. Thus this simplicity of the option allows a large number of people to use this technology.

 

 

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Adequate control of language.

 

Your examples are sufficient in supporting you arguments. The final task may need a bit more work. You will need to clariy more on the 'options/details provided by the progress' since this is not entirely coherent. Otherwise, you may wish to choose a different angle of attack for the rule for arbitration.

 

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Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumer's weaknesses.

 

A businesses' success is usually measured by profits, which in turn are usually related to how much of their product or service they sell. Businesses can sometimes sell more of their products by exploiting a target audiences weakness. One weakness that stands out is impulsivity. For example, tabloid magazines exploit a costumers impulsivity by having their products placed near the cashier in a store, and by having large titles that grab the attention of the consumer. By using this combination to attract the consumer in and providing them with the means of buying the magazine in a short period of time they can get the consumer to forget that all the information present in the magazine could be found in other locations, like the internet, for free and instead purchase the magazine. This way they sell more magazines and, by the definition previously laid out, are successful.

 

In contrast, some businesses can succeed without taking advantage of consumers' weaknesses. An example of this type of business would be a hospital. It provides services, like life saving surgery, that are essential to human life. Because these services are essential, they will always be in high demand. This ultimately translates to increased "sales" of their product and again, by the definition previously laid out, success.

 

 

In conclusion the product the business is selling is what ultimately determines whether or not the business is taking advantage of a consumers' weaknesses to be successful. If the product is a necessity, like medical care, the business doesn't need to exploit a consumers weakness because their product will always be in demand. On the other hand, if the product is not really required, like a tabloid magazines, demand will be lower and therefore to succeed the business will need to exploit a consumers weakness to get more sales.

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..............................................Post#785

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Education makes everyone equal

 

Education entails learning or teaching, usually in a school or university setting. Here in Canada, every citizen is given the opportunity to receive up to a high school education, in the hopes of making everyone equal, that is, providing everyone with equal opportunities to benefit from. The Canadian school system operates region-wise, with the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board (OCDSB) being responsible for the schools in the Ottawa and Carleton districts. The OCDSB ensures that all the schools are of the same standard, delivering quality education and following the curriculum set by them. They routinely execute literacy tests across the schools to evaluate the performance of the schools. In so doing, the OCDSB ensures that all the students in the Ottawa-Carleton region are receiving the same quality of education and are therefore, made equal. Upon graduation, employers in the region, who are well-aware of the uniformity among the schools, will not discriminate a student of one school over another. Therefore, secondary school education in Canada makes everyone equal.

 

However, if we look at the post-secondary education system in the neighbouring United States, we will see a bigger discrepancy in the quality of education received based on the type of institution that a student is able to attend after completing high school. On the one hand, public colleges are affordable and less selective, while, on the other hand, private colleges are expensive and more selective in terms of the calibre of students accepted. Among the private colleges are the reknowned eight Ivy League schools. Employers worldwide are aware of these colleges in the States and oftentimes, will discriminate between a graduate from one of these versus a graduate from another public college, simply based on the college name on their curriculum vitae, rather than other qualities. This goes to show that sometimes education, instead of fostering equality, can create discrimination.

 

What determines whether or not education makes everyone equal is, in fact, the institution that is providing the education. In the first instance, the Canadian school system was exemplified whereby a district school board oversees the quality of education that the students in that district are receiving. They work towards promoting uniformity amongst the schools, trying to ensure that the high school graduates will be viewed equally in the community, and therefore will receive equal opportunities. In the counter example, the United States college system was highlighted, whereby private college graduates are often preferred over public college graduates, because of the name of the school they went to, rather than perhaps other more deserving qualities. Hence, post-secondary education in the United States does not always make everyone equal. In conclusion, the institution that is providing the education is what matters in determining whether the graduates matriculate equal to each other – in Canada, because of the uniformity across high schools, they do, but in the US, because of the discrepancy between the impressions about public versus private colleges that employers have, they do not.

 

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent manner.

Adequate control of language.

 

Your examples are sufficient in supporting you arguments. The final task may need a bit more work. The AAMC grader may disagree with the rule you came up with for arbitrating your arguments. Actually, it seems to be region-specific, or dependent on the level of study. You may wish to keep this in mind.

 

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..............................................Post#786

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Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumers’ weaknesses

 

The world today is dictated by the service-providing, tertiary sector. There are businesses, i.e. profit-making ventures, for almost everything kind of product we can imagine. A lot of businesses succeed financially by taking advantage of consumer’s weaknesses. A consumer’s weakness may be defined as something that the consumer needs in order to enhance their self-image and be more satisfied with their lives. One example of businesses that take advantage of consumer’s weaknesses is cosmetic surgery ventures. Examples of procedures that are offered by these businesses are liposuction and botox and the costs are usually in the range of thousands of dollars. These businesses are exploiting are their consumer’s self-images and need to fit into society, in the hopes of enhancing the quality of their lives. Oftentimes, these surgical procedures, both monetarily and physically draining, are not medically recommended or required but the consumer opts for them anyway in order to satisfy their need to look better. Cosmetic surgery businesses are booming all over the world, with hordes of people undergoing surgery in the hopes of becoming more attractive in the long run.

 

On the other hand, there are businesses that do not rely on consumer’s weaknesses or needs and instead provide the consumers with leisure or recreational activities, such as the business of games arcades. The games arcade business is also a highly successful business, setting up enjoyable activities for the consumers such as laser tag, bowling, billiards, etc. These activities are usually not required by the consumer to enhance their self-image. Consumers make use of these products to simply have a transient good time.

 

What determines whether businesses succeed by taking care of consumer’s weaknesses is the nature of the product that the business is trying to market. In the first scenario, the cosmetic surgery industry is trying to sell beauty to its consumers – something that we all seek in order to enhance our self-esteem and our perception of ourselves in society. This is often a weakness for many. On the other hand, the business of games arcades are trying to sell products that are not going to change a person’s life permanently, but rather give them a transient dosage of recreation. In doing so, these businesses are not making use of consumers’ weaknesses but instead are offering a pass-time activity to their consumers which will not affect the consumers’ self-esteem in the long-run. Therefore, some businesses target certain personal weaknesses of their consumers which can change their lives in the long run while others provide services that are not as integral to a person’s sense of self.

 

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent manner.

Adequate control of language.

 

Your examples are sufficient/good in supporting you arguments, but may benefit from further explanation to add depth. The final task was good.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

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..............................................Post#787

Sorry for the multiple posts! Thank you very much for all your help so far =) Clicked.

 

A person’s first priority in life should be financial security.

 

In today’s society, our method of bartering for goods is money and therefore, we are all striving to have a more satisfactory life by earning money. That is the core of all our efforts at trying to get a job, trying to set up a business, getting educated and sending our kids to school. A person’s first priority in life should be financial security, that is, they should work towards ensuring that they are financially self-sufficient to support their basic needs and those of their family’s. The traditional roles of a father and a husband are those of ‘breadwinner’ and they are responsible for supporting their families financially. A father/husband should only choose to build a family, i.e. get married and have children when they know that they can feed their wife and children. Usually nowadays, the mother/wife will also contribute to the family’s finances and therefore it’s the parents that take care of their children until they are adults – a concept that varies amongst cultures. However, it is a requirement that a person who has reached adulthood and has chosen to make a family should place utmost priority of their life on financial security in order to support their own basic needs and those of their families, i.e. food, clothing, shelter, etc. This is especially important when that person, whether it be a father/husband or wife/mother, does not have someone else to rely on for financial security.

 

On the other hand, a person’s first priority in life does not have to be financial security if that person does indeed have someone else to rely on. This is usually the case with children who have not yet reached the maturity or age or attained the educational qualifications necessary to get a job in order to support themselves. At that point in life, a child’s priority should be to focus on realizing one’s own self and preparing for adulthood, through education, self-reflection and learning from the society around them. Therefore, for a child whose basic needs are being met by their parents, there is no requirement for their first priority in life to be that of attaining financial security.

 

What determines whether a person’s first priority in life should be financial security or not depends on whether or not they have somebody else to rely on for their basic needs to be met. In the first case, a husband/father is responsible for taking care of their families, and oftentimes, since they are adults, they themselves would not be supported by their own parents. Therefore, their lives’ first priority should be financial security to ensure that they are meeting the basic needs of their families since they are responsible for their families. On the other hand, until a child reaches the legal age for seeking a job and is able to seek one, they are usually reliant on their parents for their basic needs. In such a case, a child’s main focus in life should not be financial security but rather should be building themselves up for the challenges of the future through education and learning from society, so that one day they can be financially secure. In conclusion, the way our society works today is we rely on our parents to feed us, clothe us and provide us with shelter, while we receive the education qualifications necessary to get a job that will give us a source of income. In time, we build our own families, and work in order to support them rather than receiving financial support from our parents. That is when financial security becomes the first priority in our lives, because nothing is free in this world!

 

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Evidence of clarity and depth of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent fashion.

Adequate control of language.

 

Good examples. You may wish to add more specificity to the examples, by referring to a specific location, such as in Ontario, and describe most families in the middle class... etc... Some children born into families with two working parents in Scarborough, Ontario, etc...Calgary, Alberta...

 

The final task was good.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

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..............................................Post#788

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The popular music of each generation rejects the conventions of previous generations.

Describe a specific situation in which the popular music of a generation might not reject the conventions of previous generations. Discuss what you think determines whether or not the popular music of a generation rejects the conventions of previous generations.

 

Popular music is a key element of what defines a generation because musical styles are often unique to a generation. A musical convention can be described as a defining factor or key stylistic feature of a musical piece or genre, such as its rhythm or lyrical style. Popular music, abbreviated ‘pop’ music, is that which is said to have wide appeal to the general public. While popular music of one generation can be drastically different from that of previous generations, there are instances, when it incorporates the conventions of the generation that preceded it. An example is the music of the pop-rock trio, Muse. The lead singer of this band, Matt Bellamy, considers his music to be an amalgamation of classical and rock and roll genres. His vocal technique uses arpeggios and elaborate scales conventional to the Baroque music that developed in the 1600s, and incorporates it with falsettos and dramatic vocal range reminiscent of the popular band Queen of the 1980s. In this way, the band Muse, embrace the conventions of the popular music of previous generations.

 

There are many factors that allow us to determine whether or not the popular music of a generation reject or embrace the conventions of previous generations. One such factor is lyrical style; the lyrical conventions of popular music in almost all generations thus far is one where every line or every alternate line of a verse rhymes, mimicking the rhyme of poetry. If, however, a musical genre were to use a ‘haiku-style’ lyrical convention, it would reject the lyrical norms of previous generations’ popular music. Popular music of a generation could further reject the conventions of previous generations by creating music from morse code instead of musical notes.

 

In conclusion, popular music can be a defining feature of a generation because it uses unique musical styles and conventions unseen in previous generations. However, popular music also appeals to a wide demographic because it can often embrace and incorporate conventions of several generations. A musical genre can use a guitar riff based on the musical conventions of the 1600s, but pair it with a lyrical technique that is completely unique to its generation.

 

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Demonstrates difficulty in responding to the tasks.

Some issues with clarity of thought and coherence of ideas.

Adequate control of language.

 

The first task was not adequately completed. You will need to show how: The popular music of each generation rejects the conventions of previous generations. Then provide an example addressing this. Then you are to use the Muse example that you came up with to argue against the prompt. Then you must Discuss what you think determines whether or not the popular music of a generation rejects the conventions of previous generations.

 

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..............................................Post#794

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Successful politicians are motivated more by practical considerations than by moral values

 

Politicians are representatives of the people and their success is measured in the degree to which they gain public support regarding the policies and laws they implement. Success of a politician can also be understood by the degree of 'likeness' by the public. Furthermore, implementation of a politician's motives gain momentum when their motives are based on practicality instead of moral values. A politicians moral values regarding what ought to be done in a particular situation should be put aside when aiming at gaining popularity among the people. When motives are based on practicality, a larger proportion of individuals are able to understand and agree with the the ideals and agree with the motives of the politician. For instance, a politician contemplating to enforce laws regarding the legal age of drinking, needs to consider the demographics of the population and put the practicality of the laws before his own moral values. Regardless of what his morality tells him about this issue, he need to consider what is best for the population and a reasonable to implement on everyone. If the population consists mostly of young liberal adults, implementing the laws based on what scenario would benefit them most would be the appropriate method. Thus, using practical considerations to assess how the public would benefit and assessing their reactions would result in the politician gaining more success.

 

However, ideals motivated by practical considerations may not always result in positive outcomes. Since the politician is a representative of the people and is elected by the people, he most likely shares the same moral values as the public. In such a situation, if moral values are utilized to implement laws, success attained by the politician will be a likely consequence. For instance, a politician raised with a catholic values and elected by conservative catholic citizens will share certain moral values. When considering the laws regarding abortion and contemplating to implement 'right to choice' or 'right to life', a higher rate of success will be ensured, when the politicians uses his conservative morals to implement 'right to life'. Since the right to life will be shared by a majority of the population in an area, the decision to implement the law based on his moral values, will lead to the politician being readily accepted and liked by the public, thus ensuring his success.

 

Whether success follows when a politician is motivated by practical considerations or moral values is contingent upon the demographics of the area. If the moral values of the politician are shared by the majority of the people, then using moral values to implement laws is bound to bring more success to a politician. On the contrary, if a politician is living in an area where his moral values clash with the majority of the public consensus, using practicality to think of the best possible solution is bound to bring more success.

 

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent fashion.

Adequate control of language.

 

Your examples are sufficient in supporting you arguments. The line with: "If the population consists mostly of young liberal adults..." You were on to something there, and will need to expand on this more, since this is an important part of your first argument. The second and third task were sufficient.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

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..............................................Post#795

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A person's first priority in life should be financial security

 

practicality money to some degree does buy happiness and it ensures financial security and a sense of stability. The primary goal of the majority of individuals is to attain a lifestyle where demands of families and friends can be met. To be able to fulfill such demands is the first priority of a person in life, and this can be made possible with financial security. Being financially secured allows an individual to be able to plan a future and allows an individual to deal stressful situations, such as dealing with an emergency that require monetary input. For instance, if a male in mid 40's has a family member who requires an emergency operation that happens to fall outside of the coverage provided by the insurance company, a financially secure person will be able to pay for the operation. The financial stability allows for him to pay for the operation, thus helps in saving his relative's life. Therefore, for such an individual attaining financial security is the primary goal, as it allows for planning for future goals and dealing with emergency situations.

 

However, there comes a point in life when a person's priority does not entail monetary items. Other aspects of life such as exploring different cultures, meeting new people is the priority in life. For instance, a student who recently graduated from high school need not worry about financial security as of yet, and instead invests in travelling and exploring different nations and cultures. Since he doesn't have any dependents and is still at a young age where he does not need to take care of his parents, he lacks the responsibility to take care of his family's needs.

 

A persons goal as well as priorities in life change, therefore whether financial security should be a priority depends upon the age of an individual. For a mid - 40's male, financial security is his first priority in life, as he has the responsibility to look after his family's needs. Whereas, a 17 year old boy does not have the responsibility to look after anyone, but himself. Thus, he can afford to travel and explore and not worry about financial security.

 

thanks!

 

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Adequate control of language.

 

The first example was not presented well. It actually seems to support the counter-argument that money shouldn't be the top priority, but keeping the family safe is. People make money to protect and provide for their family. You will need to tweak the argument somehow. The second example and the final task were sufficient.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

JKLMNO/PQRST

[Littlekiwi]

-clicked- Thanks soooo much, both for this and for the previous one. I hope you get to this by Sept 10!

 

A person's first priority in life should be financial security.

 

In order to be considered financially secure, one might want to be able to fulfill their basic human need for food, water, clothing and shelter. In addition, financial security suggests you have adequate wealth, either in monetary form, or in the form of assets such as a house or car, in order to lead a comfortable life. If financial security were a person's first priority, that is, it takes precedence over any other factors of life, the person would be willing to sacrifice almost any form of luxury if it meant compromising that security. For example, a newlywed couple in Melbourne, Australia are looking to immediately raise a family. While they would have liked to enjoy vacationing in Europe for their honeymoon, their primary concern is having the financial security that will allow them to provide the best for their children. If they take into account the cost of living, mortgage rates and the debts they accumulated due to their post-secondary educations, a vacation in Europe would simply not be feasible. Thus, since this couple's primary concern is the value of life they will be providing for their child, financial security would be the main priority in their life.

 

However, there can be times in life when a person's first priority may not be financial security. Consider Fred, a 46 year old man whose career as a pharmacist has seen him, his wife and three children live a mostly comfortable life in the United States. Recently, Fred has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of kidney cancer and has been advised he will have to undergo chemotherapy for three months. Unfortunately, since Fred does not have medical insurance, the treatment will prove to be very expensive, and can severely set him back financially. At the same time, if he undergoes the treatment, he has a very high chance of survival. Fred now has to consider whether he is willing to risk his life in order to ensure financial security for his wife and children. In such a situation, one could argue that one could not put a price on his life and would not be willing to do so. When health is concerned, financial security is no longer the primary concern. Rather, Fred decides that his value to his wife and children is so high, that he would not be willing to sacrifice his health, his life, for a few thousand dollars - after all, in a few months time, he will hopefully be of sound health and be able to recover the money lost to treatment. Thus, there are instances where other priorities take precedence over financial security, one's health and well-being are two greatest factors.

 

What, then, determines whether or not a person's first priority in life should be financial security? Well it ultimately depends on how highly the person values his or her financial status. If someone views it of utmost importance, that is, the only way to provide for their children is if they push aside all other hopes and dreams, and make financial security their priority. On the other hand, financial security might be of little importance to someone who has been diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness; even if seeking treatment results in bankruptcy, if that person values their life and their future experiences enough to want to continue living, they would be willing to put financial security on the back burner.

 

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Once again, thanks in advance

[Littlekiwi]

-clicked-

 

Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumers' weaknesses.

 

A successful business can be defined as one that has a high profit margin due to highly qualified staff, firm economic understanding and a loyal client base. A consumer is anyone who partakes in the purchasing of goods or services provided by the business.

 

In order to be successful, a business can broaden its clientele by targeting a particular weakness. An example of this would be the fast-food industry. It seems as if in today's world, it is getting increasingly difficult to juggle a hectic work schedule, a family and a social life. It is of grave concern that after spending eight to nine hours slogging at work, one must now come home and spend an additional hour preparing a meal for oneself and/or one's family. Add to this the rising cost of groceries and fresh produce and the cost of fuel required to drive to the supermarket, there seems to be almost no incentive to want to prepare a fresh meal every night. The fast food industry, which includes large-scale companies such as Tim Hortons and McDonalds, takes advantage of this internal conflict in people to both maintain their hectic schedule and feed themselves and/or their family within a budget, by advertising prepared meals that are not only convenient, but also delicious and relatively inexpensive. Who would want to spend time and money buying and preparing a whole chicken when you can purchase a bucket of it, fries, drinks and a salad for almost what it cost you to buy just the supermarket chicken? In addition, the business continues to take advantage of the consumer's weakness by not informing them of any health concerns associated with their food. While many of us might be aware of the dangers posed by increased consumption of fast food - cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal cancers, Type II diabetes to name a few - the potential risks of these are nullified in times when we are desperate to be both cost and time efficient. If the fast food businesses were to constantly remind us of the dangers of their goods, say by adding a disclaimer after every advertisement, they would be rendering themselves unsuccessful by losing their customers and marginalising their profits.

 

 

However, there are businesses that do not see monetary profit as their primary goal. An example of this would be an environmental law firm that is dedicated to protecting the environment from companies that threaten it. Seeing as their main objective is to protect the environment, they are not interested in taking advantage of their clientele's weaknesses. Instead, the main form of profit gained by such a business might come solely from their provision of the best service possible to their clientele and the understanding that this helps to further their goal to sustain the environment. If an environmental law firm were to take advantage of its customers' weaknesses by, say, increasing its lawyers' hourly rate, they would probably only succeed in deterring their clientele from seeking their services. This would prevent them from reaching their profit of protecting the environment, as another company may dump hazardous waste into our water system.

 

What, then, determines whether or not businesses take advantage of consumers' weaknesses in order to succeed? Well, it depends entirely on the type of good or service provided by the business. If the business were solely interested in monetary profit, there would be no harm in making the best of its customer base by targeting their weaknesses and catering just to those weaknesses. Such is seen with fast food compnaies such as McDonald's or Tim Horton's that will advertise unhealthy, yet incredibly convenient fast food in hopes of targeting those that are far too busy to be concerned with preparing a fresh meal every day. On the other hand, if a business' main goal were not to achieve maximum monetary profit, but rather if their profit lay simply in promoting the protection of the environment, it would make no sense to target the weakness of its customer base. In doing so, it might deter its cusomters from seeking its services and lose its opportunity to do what they set out to do in the first place.

 

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If you are able to get to this in time, thank you very much!!

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#796

Thanks Clicked!

 

Progress often complicates as much as it simplifies.

 

The 20th century has been all about progress and advancements, starting from ATM machines, to the jump from cassette players to discmans to iPods. The progress that we have witnessed often complicates our lives - creates new problems that must be dealt with - while at the same time simplifying our lives in many ways by solving problems from the past, making our lives more efficient and entertaining. One great leap forward for humans was the advent of internet technology in the 1970s. Initially created to enhance communication among military bases, the internet today has impacted the lives of the majority of the world population. In spite of its many benefits, the internet has brought with it many complications as well. We now have to deal with issues such as breach of privacy when we submit our details to a certain site and others can use our information to their gain, often leading to a variety of scams, mildly serious to extremely serious, especially if it involves financial loss. The internet has also created a pathway for young children to get exposed to sexuality and violence far too early at a point where they are not mature enough to deal with such knowledge. Furthermore, the internet has been a great way for youth to waste their time playing games or chatting, when they could be doing something more productive that would bring about more cognitive, physical and social development for them, such as socializing with friends or getting outdoors exercise. These issues are now a reason for utmost concern. People have to be more careful in sharing their details online, parents have to supervise their children's use of the internet and children must be taught and encouraged to not spend all their time glued in front of their laptops. The advent of this technology has certainly complicated our lives by forcing us to have all these other considerations, which were irrelevant prior to the development of internet technology.

 

Having mentioned the complications, it must be noted that this progress has brought about just as much change for the better. Many aspects of our lives have become increasingly simpler following the advent of internet technology. For example, online shopping saves much time and energy. We can now order books, clothes, gift items, and much more by browsing various shops right from home. Moreover, it has become much easier to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world through email and social networking sites such as Facebook. No more need to write letters, buy stamps and envelopes, drive to the post office and wait for a certain period of time for your messages to be conveyed - everything is merely a click away! The internet has also made sharing our thoughts easier by allowing us to create personal blogs, where we can reach out to not just a few people, but to multitudes. In the past, sharing thoughts would mean getting published in a newspaper or a journal - a feat that not every ordinary person was capable of achieving. Therefore, in these ways and many more, the internet has simplified our lives countering the complications it has introduced.

 

What determines whether the simplifications or the complications of progress take precedence? It all depends on how the person benefiting from the said progress chooses to utilize it. In the first scenario, we looked at some of the complications that have arisen due to the advent of internet technology. The reason for these complications existing is because of people misusing or overusing the internet - using it to their gain in order to hurt others as in the example with the scammers or giving it more priority than other important things in life as with the example of the children. In the second scenario however, we see the benefits of the internet when we are using it for the purposes that it was created for - that is, making our lives more efficient and better-connected, and allowing for greater self-expression. Therefore, in this example of the internet as progress, we see that if we use the internet for the reasons that it was created, then progress does indeed simplify our lives. However, when we misuse or overuse the internet, it leads to a lot of complications. In fact, every bit of progress that we are making comes with its glory and its gore and it is up to us - the beneficiaries of the progress to determine whether we side with the simplifications or let the complications bog us down.

 

You're welcome.

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Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Adequate control of language.

 

You have many examples for each argument. This can be used to add some depth and to argue your point, but you would actually benefit from having one single powerful example for the argument in favour of the prompt and one for the counter-argument. As well, there was some difficulty with the rule for arbitration in task#3. This was the result of the many examples used for task#1 and task#2. If you stick to one example each, you will be able to pull out a clear rule. The rule you came up with seems too flexible and not so clear-cut. It also makes it seem like the examples for task#1 and task#2 can blend together.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

JKLMNOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#798

Thanks Pastainhaler, yet again Clicked!

 

Laws cannot change social values.

 

A country's legal system can have wide-ranging impacts on the population, often influencing their way of life to quite a great extent. Laws are regulations passed by the country's parliamentary system, to which the citizens must abide by in order to avoid prosecution. A law is usually well-examined by various parliamentary members in a democratic system before its passage and implementation. Laws can target a variety of aspects of a citizen's life, and may in fact target certain social values, that is a society's principles or customs. One such example is the controversial law passed in France banning headscarves worn by Muslim girls, in order to, as was justified by the French legislators, increase public safety and uniformity. This law was protested widely both in France and internationally. A lot of people were indignant that wearing the headscarf was banned, considering that it is a religious symbol, a social value among Muslims which is integral to their faith, to their very sense of being. Despite this law being instilled, many girls continued to wear the headscarf and were prosecuted for doing so. Others were known to abide by the law, but unhappily so. Regardless of whether or not the law brought about its desired results - that is, girls not to wear headscarves in public, the law was certainly not able to change the social values and principles of the Muslims in France who continue to believe in their symbol of piety and do not agree with the legislation against it.

 

However, there are certain laws that are able to change social values. For example, in many South Asian countries, it was socially accepted for girls to get married at very young ages, before they had completed their high school education. In Bangladesh, there is now a law banning all child marriages before the age of 18, and girls are given free education until they are 18 years of age in order to delay potentially destructive marriages and promote education. After these laws were passed, it is now a general consensus that getting girls married too young is not a good thing, and that girls' education is just as important as boys' education, which was previously ignored. Most parents, in order to abide by the law and avoid prosecution, will follow the law and in so doing, the societal trend and values have shifted towards later marriages and promotion of girls' education. Therefore, this is an example of a law that was about to bring about change in social values regarding marriage and education of girls.

 

What determines whether or not laws can change social values is the nature of the value being targeted. In the first instance in France, a value very integral to a person's sense of being was targeted - their religion. To many, religion is something transcendental that should not be interfered with at the level of man. In France, the outrage resulted from the idea that the citizens' government was creating an obstacle that prevented them from practicing their faith. Such a value, so integral to a person of faith, cannot be changed by passing forceful laws against it. On the other hand, the scenario of laws against child marriage and laws promoting girls' education in South Asia demonstrate that when the law targets a value which is more customary rather than integral to people's sense of being, it more likely to influence the change of the mindset of the citizens. Parents realize the benefits of getting their girls married later and providing them with more education. Since there is no deep religious or personal basis for child marriages and lack of education to girls, most people were flexible upon the introduction of this law and accepted it. Therefore, this law was able to change the social trends and values, because it targeted a value that is more customary rather than personal to a person's sense of being. In conclusion, laws must be passed that respect core values of the society. If not, then as we saw in France, there will be major disgruntlement among the population rather than a flexible integration and acceptance of the law as we saw in the case of Bangladesh.

 

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Demonstrates proficiency in responding to the tasks.

Evidence of clarity and depth of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent fashion.

Adequate control of language.

 

Good examples. Tasks well done.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

JKLMNOPQ/RST

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#805

- clicked

 

hopefully you get to this before september 10!

 

Also I had one question, should we include indentations at the beginning of each paragraph?

 

Prompt:

Advancments in communication technology have reduced the quality of human interaction

 

The quality of human interactions can be defined by many parameters and it is not always clear which parameter has the most importance. For example is the length of a conversation between two people more important then the frequency of communication? One might ultimately conclude that the content exchanged, i.e. the meaningfulness, of a communication is the ultimate determining factor. From this standpoint lets examine one of the most substantial advancements in technology in the past century, the cellphone and text messaging. The text messaging format allows for short interactions. This is because when sending a text message the recipient doesn't necessarily have to respond, or if they do they can respond with one letter answers that have no deeper meaning. This short type of conversation doesn't allowing for deeper meaning to the communication and thus the quality of the interaction is severely reduced.

 

On the other hand another type of advancement, video calling, has allowed a higher quality of interaction. A perfect example is Skype. Now telephone conversations can be enhanced by adding live video so that particpants can see one another. This type of face-to-face interaction allows one to express emotions with facial cues and other actions that provide depth and meaning to communication. Prior to this that same type of intereaction could only occur in person.

 

 

Ultimately what determines whether or not a advancement improves the quality of interaction is what type of advancement it is. If the advancement allows for more meaningful interaction, like skype, that it can improve the quality of interaction. On the other hand, if it limits the interaction , like text messaging, it can severely decrease the quality of the interaction.

 

Thanks for clicking. Appreciated. Indentations before each paragraph won't be needed. The tab key also does not work on the actual MCAT.

 

Some issues with coherence and depth of thought.

Adequate control of language.

 

Your examples are sufficient in supporting you arguments. However, you will need to explore them in more detail. The first paragraph lost coherence and focus. You will have to be more explicit with your ideas and focussed. Some ideas in the final paragraph don't fit well with the prompt: "limits the interaction" conflicts with advancements in communication technology.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

JKLMNOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#811

-clicked

 

Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumer's weaknesses.

 

A businesses' success is usually measured by profits, which in turn are usually related to how much of their product or service they sell. Businesses can sometimes sell more of their products by exploiting a target audiences weakness. One weakness that stands out is impulsivity. For example, tabloid magazines exploit a costumers impulsivity by having their products placed near the cashier in a store, and by having large titles that grab the attention of the consumer. By using this combination to attract the consumer in and providing them with the means of buying the magazine in a short period of time they can get the consumer to forget that all the information present in the magazine could be found in other locations, like the internet, for free and instead purchase the magazine. This way they sell more magazines and, by the definition previously laid out, are successful.

 

In contrast, some businesses can succeed without taking advantage of consumers' weaknesses. An example of this type of business would be a hospital. It provides services, like life saving surgery, that are essential to human life. Because these services are essential, they will always be in high demand. This ultimately translates to increased "sales" of their product and again, by the definition previously laid out, success.

 

 

In conclusion the product the business is selling is what ultimately determines whether or not the business is taking advantage of a consumers' weaknesses to be successful. If the product is a necessity, like medical care, the business doesn't need to exploit a consumers weakness because their product will always be in demand. On the other hand, if the product is not really required, like a tabloid magazines, demand will be lower and therefore to succeed the business will need to exploit a consumers weakness to get more sales.

 

Thanks for clicking. Appreciated.

 

Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Adequate control of language.

 

You must remember that a hospital, like other non-profit organizations, is not a business. It may have some qualities that are similar to businesses, but they are not businesses. Businesses are for-profit entities.

 

The first example is fine, but you could use a more specific example to illustrate your point to make it more compelling. For instance, Vogue magazines are placed at the check-out counters at all of the Metro grocery stores in Ontario. This was done because it was shown through Statistics Canada that the majority of grocery shoppers in Ontario were women aged 18-40 who were also the primary audience for Vogue magazine...etc...

As well, your arguments could benefit from further elaboration to clarify your point of view.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

JKLM/NOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#818

-clicked- Thanks soooo much, both for this and for the previous one. I hope you get to this by Sept 10!

 

A person's first priority in life should be financial security.

 

In order to be considered financially secure, one might want to be able to fulfill their basic human need for food, water, clothing and shelter. In addition, financial security suggests you have adequate wealth, either in monetary form, or in the form of assets such as a house or car, in order to lead a comfortable life. If financial security were a person's first priority, that is, it takes precedence over any other factors of life, the person would be willing to sacrifice almost any form of luxury if it meant compromising that security. For example, a newlywed couple in Melbourne, Australia are looking to immediately raise a family. While they would have liked to enjoy vacationing in Europe for their honeymoon, their primary concern is having the financial security that will allow them to provide the best for their children. If they take into account the cost of living, mortgage rates and the debts they accumulated due to their post-secondary educations, a vacation in Europe would simply not be feasible. Thus, since this couple's primary concern is the value of life they will be providing for their child, financial security would be the main priority in their life.

 

However, there can be times in life when a person's first priority may not be financial security. Consider Fred, a 46 year old man whose career as a pharmacist has seen him, his wife and three children live a mostly comfortable life in the United States. Recently, Fred has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of kidney cancer and has been advised he will have to undergo chemotherapy for three months. Unfortunately, since Fred does not have medical insurance, the treatment will prove to be very expensive, and can severely set him back financially. At the same time, if he undergoes the treatment, he has a very high chance of survival. Fred now has to consider whether he is willing to risk his life in order to ensure financial security for his wife and children. In such a situation, one could argue that one could not put a price on his life and would not be willing to do so. When health is concerned, financial security is no longer the primary concern. Rather, Fred decides that his value to his wife and children is so high, that he would not be willing to sacrifice his health, his life, for a few thousand dollars - after all, in a few months time, he will hopefully be of sound health and be able to recover the money lost to treatment. Thus, there are instances where other priorities take precedence over financial security, one's health and well-being are two greatest factors.

 

What, then, determines whether or not a person's first priority in life should be financial security? Well it ultimately depends on how highly the person values his or her financial status. If someone views it of utmost importance, that is, the only way to provide for their children is if they push aside all other hopes and dreams, and make financial security their priority. On the other hand, financial security might be of little importance to someone who has been diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness; even if seeking treatment results in bankruptcy, if that person values their life and their future experiences enough to want to continue living, they would be willing to put financial security on the back burner.

 

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Once again, thanks in advance

You're welcome.

Thanks for clicking. Appreciated.

 

Evidence of some clarity of thought.

Ideas presented in a coherent fashion.

Adequate control of language.

 

Your examples are sufficient in supporting you arguments. However, I would remove the part about a few thousand dollars since that conflicts with "the treatment will prove to be very expensive, and can severely set him back financially."

 

The rule for arbitration that you came up with in task#3 was somewhat circular.

 

You are to:

Discuss what you think determines whether or not a person's first priority in life should be financial security.

 

Essentially, you have stated that whether or not a person's first priority in life should be financial security depends on whether the person cares about/prioritizes financial security. You will need to come up with another rule that better explains the examples you provided. You could try: stage in life, sociocultural context, life-changing events, family situation (are children involved?), family protection, etc...

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

JKLMNOPQRST

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#819

-clicked-

 

Businesses succeed by taking advantage of consumers' weaknesses.

 

A successful business can be defined as one that has a high profit margin due to highly qualified staff, firm economic understanding and a loyal client base. A consumer is anyone who partakes in the purchasing of goods or services provided by the business.

 

In order to be successful, a business can broaden its clientele by targeting a particular weakness. An example of this would be the fast-food industry. It seems as if in today's world, it is getting increasingly difficult to juggle a hectic work schedule, a family and a social life. It is of grave concern that after spending eight to nine hours slogging at work, one must now come home and spend an additional hour preparing a meal for oneself and/or one's family. Add to this the rising cost of groceries and fresh produce and the cost of fuel required to drive to the supermarket, there seems to be almost no incentive to want to prepare a fresh meal every night. The fast food industry, which includes large-scale companies such as Tim Hortons and McDonalds, takes advantage of this internal conflict in people to both maintain their hectic schedule and feed themselves and/or their family within a budget, by advertising prepared meals that are not only convenient, but also delicious and relatively inexpensive. Who would want to spend time and money buying and preparing a whole chicken when you can purchase a bucket of it, fries, drinks and a salad for almost what it cost you to buy just the supermarket chicken? In addition, the business continues to take advantage of the consumer's weakness by not informing them of any health concerns associated with their food. While many of us might be aware of the dangers posed by increased consumption of fast food - cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal cancers, Type II diabetes to name a few - the potential risks of these are nullified in times when we are desperate to be both cost and time efficient. If the fast food businesses were to constantly remind us of the dangers of their goods, say by adding a disclaimer after every advertisement, they would be rendering themselves unsuccessful by losing their customers and marginalising their profits.

 

 

However, there are businesses that do not see monetary profit as their primary goal. An example of this would be an environmental law firm that is dedicated to protecting the environment from companies that threaten it. Seeing as their main objective is to protect the environment, they are not interested in taking advantage of their clientele's weaknesses. Instead, the main form of profit gained by such a business might come solely from their provision of the best service possible to their clientele and the understanding that this helps to further their goal to sustain the environment. If an environmental law firm were to take advantage of its customers' weaknesses by, say, increasing its lawyers' hourly rate, they would probably only succeed in deterring their clientele from seeking their services. This would prevent them from reaching their profit of protecting the environment, as another company may dump hazardous waste into our water system.

 

What, then, determines whether or not businesses take advantage of consumers' weaknesses in order to succeed? Well, it depends entirely on the type of good or service provided by the business. If the business were solely interested in monetary profit, there would be no harm in making the best of its customer base by targeting their weaknesses and catering just to those weaknesses. Such is seen with fast food compnaies such as McDonald's or Tim Horton's that will advertise unhealthy, yet incredibly convenient fast food in hopes of targeting those that are far too busy to be concerned with preparing a fresh meal every day. On the other hand, if a business' main goal were not to achieve maximum monetary profit, but rather if their profit lay simply in promoting the protection of the environment, it would make no sense to target the weakness of its customer base. In doing so, it might deter its cusomters from seeking its services and lose its opportunity to do what they set out to do in the first place.

 

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If you are able to get to this in time, thank you very much!!

 

You're welcome.

Thanks for clicking. Appreciated.

 

Evidence of some clarity and depth of thought.

Adequate control of language.

 

The first example was good. The second example is sufficient, but will need some work. The argument lost coherence. Who is the main clientele? How is the law firm making money and sustaining a good clientele base? The third task is good, but you will need to refer back to the law firm example to further unify the essay.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

JKLMNOP/QRST

[alabaster]

-clicked-

 

A person's first priority in life should be financial security

 

Our society has reached a point where the number one priority in life is no longer food, shelter, or even procreation. Instead, financial security is the single most important attribute in determining an individual's standard of living. Financial security, especially in the western world, is a sign of success that results in an individual being judged competent by colleagues and attractive by potential mates. Additionally, having sound finances affords one the luxury of purchasing non-essential goods that serve to increase an individual's enjoyment and comfort in life. Many people work long hours in jobs they hate in order to afford the accoutrements of an affluent lifestyle. These sacrifices imply that financial security provides a huge amount of benefit, which is why many people rightfully make it their first priority in life.

 

There are, however, some situations where financial security should not be the number one priority. A person should stray from the pursuit of financial security if it at all decreases from their overall happiness. For example, an individual may have the opportunity to pay off their mortgage five years earlier if they pick up an extra ten hours of work a week. Unfortunately, this extra time spent at work interferes with their ability to see their nine-year old son's soccer games. This, in turn, puts strain on the parent-child relationship and ultimately results in resentment towards their job and an overall decrease in happiness. That individual would be much better off if they delayed complete financial security in favour of improving their relationship with their son.

 

The net gain in happiness is the benchmark that should be applied in any situation concerning whether or not to strive for financial security. If working harder for financial security results in an overall gain in happiness, it should be the number one priority. A good example is the dilemma faced by many amateur athletes. By continuing in their sport with no hope of every profiting, these amateur athletes are delaying financial security for the pursuit of excellence. If these athletes have no regrets about their financial situation, they should go full bore ahead with their sport as it obviously provides them happiness. Conversely, if they are resentful of their sport due to the financial restrictions it imposes, they should rearrange their priorities and place financial security at the top of the list.

[PastaInhaler]

..............................................Post#824

-clicked-

 

A person's first priority in life should be financial security

 

Our society has reached a point where the number one priority in life is no longer food, shelter, or even procreation. Instead, financial security is the single most important attribute in determining an individual's standard of living. Financial security, especially in the western world, is a sign of success that results in an individual being judged competent by colleagues and attractive by potential mates. Additionally, having sound finances affords one the luxury of purchasing non-essential goods that serve to increase an individual's enjoyment and comfort in life. Many people work long hours in jobs they hate in order to afford the accoutrements of an affluent lifestyle. These sacrifices imply that financial security provides a huge amount of benefit, which is why many people rightfully make it their first priority in life.

 

There are, however, some situations where financial security should not be the number one priority. A person should stray from the pursuit of financial security if it at all decreases from their overall happiness. For example, an individual may have the opportunity to pay off their mortgage five years earlier if they pick up an extra ten hours of work a week. Unfortunately, this extra time spent at work interferes with their ability to see their nine-year old son's soccer games. This, in turn, puts strain on the parent-child relationship and ultimately results in resentment towards their job and an overall decrease in happiness. That individual would be much better off if they delayed complete financial security in favour of improving their relationship with their son.

 

The net gain in happiness is the benchmark that should be applied in any situation concerning whether or not to strive for financial security. If working harder for financial security results in an overall gain in happiness, it should be the number one priority. A good example is the dilemma faced by many amateur athletes. By continuing in their sport with no hope of every profiting, these amateur athletes are delaying financial security for the pursuit of excellence. If these athletes have no regrets about their financial situation, they should go full bore ahead with their sport as it obviously provides them happiness. Conversely, if they are resentful of their sport due to the financial restrictions it imposes, they should rearrange their priorities and place financial security at the top of the list.

 

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Ideas are somewhat developed.

Evidence of some clarity of thought.

 

The first example could be a little more focussed and specific.

 

The counter-example is fine.

 

The arbitration rule you came up with could be a little stronger. It seems that the rule should be life stage, whether a person has a family to care for. In that case, the parents should focus on enhancing familial relationships, while putting money making on the backburner (though it is still important, just not as important). But, when a person has no family yet, he/she can work on making money because the time that they use to do this is not taken away from family, and the sacrifices that are taken are not as severe. I think this would be a better way to argue the case.

 

It is probably not a good idea to introduce a new example of an amateur athlete so late in the essay even though it may be peripherally related to your counter example. You won't be able to explore the example in enough depth so late in the essay. It also complicates the organization of the essay and affects the flow of ideas. Further, by taking time out in the final paragraph to explore a new example, you are not putting enough energy into completing the third task while properly unifying the essay.

 

I feel this essay will be scored an:

 

JKLMNO/PQRST

[nick]

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Of all the forms of media, television has the strongest influence on public opinion.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which television might not have the strongest influence on public opinion. Discuss what you think determines whether or not television has the strongest influence on public opinion.

 

Marshall McLuhan famously said, “The medium is the message.” This observation of the identity of a medium and a message makes it meaningful to ask what effect a medium has on a population. The writing prompt states that the medium of television, along with any intrinsic messages it carries, has a greater gross effect on a population’s thought and belief than any other medium. That is, through a combination of the qualities of the medium of television, it’s universality, and its high usage (as opposed to books, which are universal but low-usage), it informs public opinion more than the Internet, books, radio, drama, flim, or any other medium.

 

An example of television’s influence comes from the days when it was an established—but still experimental—medium. The first televised presidential debate in the United States pitted Richard Nixon against John Kennedy. Before the debate, Nixon had a substantial lead in the polls. On the night of the debate, Nixon had a fever and was baggy-eyed, red-faced, and sweating. This would have gone unnoticed on traditional radio-broadcasted debates, but due to TV’s visual nature and its extremely high accessibility and exposure, the American public saw Nixon’s condition as nervousness, and voted Kennedy into the White House.

 

Television’s influence is challenged in some situations; though: the “Arab Spring” of 2011 saw new internet media’s unprecedented use as a revolutionary tool. TV’s centralization and regulation often makes it more influential, by ensuring that a whole population is being exposed to the same message. However, TV regulated by dictatorial governments could not carry the revolutionary message the population was demanding, so they turned to the internet, which—being less censored—suited the revolutionaries’ needs, despite its drawbacks relative to TV.

 

Television is a universal, easy-to-consume medium with an enormous audience. In most cases, television has the strongest influence on public opinion by those virtues alone. This is especially the case in a market economy, where advertising both guarantees television’s existence and contributes toward the influence it has on the public. However, television is strongly regulated in all jurisdictions that I know of, and loses its influence when a population is creating and consuming content against the interests of advertisers and regulators.

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Of all the forms of media, television has the strongest influence on public opinion.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which television might not have the strongest influence on public opinion. Discuss what you think determines whether or not television has the strongest influence on public opinion.

 

Marshall McLuhan famously said, “The medium is the message.” This observation of the identity of a medium and a message makes it meaningful to ask what effect a medium has on a population. The writing prompt states that the medium of television, along with any intrinsic messages it carries, has a greater gross effect on a population’s thought and belief than any other medium. That is, through a combination of the qualities of the medium of television, it’s universality, and its high usage (as opposed to books, which are universal but low-usage), it informs public opinion more than the Internet, books, radio, drama, flim, or any other medium.

 

An example of television’s influence comes from the days when it was an established—but still experimental—medium. The first televised presidential debate in the United States pitted Richard Nixon against John Kennedy. Before the debate, Nixon had a substantial lead in the polls. On the night of the debate, Nixon had a fever and was baggy-eyed, red-faced, and sweating. This would have gone unnoticed on traditional radio-broadcasted debates, but due to TV’s visual nature and its extremely high accessibility and exposure, the American public saw Nixon’s condition as nervousness, and voted Kennedy into the White House.

 

Television’s influence is challenged in some situations; though: the “Arab Spring” of 2011 saw new internet media’s unprecedented use as a revolutionary tool. TV’s centralization and regulation often makes it more influential, by ensuring that a whole population is being exposed to the same message. However, TV regulated by dictatorial governments could not carry the revolutionary message the population was demanding, so they turned to the internet, which—being less censored—suited the revolutionaries’ needs, despite its drawbacks relative to TV.

 

Television is a universal, easy-to-consume medium with an enormous audience. In most cases, television has the strongest influence on public opinion by those virtues alone. This is especially the case in a market economy, where advertising both guarantees television’s existence and contributes toward the influence it has on the public. However, television is strongly regulated in all jurisdictions that I know of, and loses its influence when a population is creating and consuming content against the interests of advertisers and regulators.

 

Apologies for the delay in grading.

 

Thanks for clicking. Appreciated.

 

Ideas are somewhat developed.

Evidence of some clarity of thought.

 

The examples are fine. However, you may wish to explore the definition of "medium" to help the reader understand your arguments better since that is the main theme of the essay. You may wish to provide a bit more background on Arab Spring, then build your arguments from that. You may wish to explore how another medium served as a useful revolutionary tool. This is a key idea to the essay, and you have failed to address it.

 

The arbitration rule you came up with could be a little stronger. The essay began to lose cohesion here and the last paragraph will need to be revised to make your ideas more clear. You will have to be more explicit with how you wrap up the essay, and you will need to tie it in with the ideas that you introduced in paragraphs one and two.

 

I feel this essay will be scored a:

 

JKLMNOPQRST