Guest byjude Posted March 23, 2004 Report Share Posted March 23, 2004 There's a lot of emphasis on having a social life outside of medical school. But do you bring in your old social life and hope it accomodates medicine, or do you develop new social lives? It sounds like there are a lot of med students in serious relationships - married and engaged couples sound pretty common. But are there couples that break up after starting medical school or residency? Are there new couples that form? Is it more common for med students to form new relationships with outsiders, med students from other schools or other years at that school, or within their class even? Is it a strain to be in a relationship with someone who also ends up pursuing medicine - at your school (in your year or another year?) or at another med school? It would be interesting to hear what sort of experiences people have had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jerika81 Posted March 23, 2004 Report Share Posted March 23, 2004 Wow, that is a lot of questions, but I think they're good ones so I'll give you my $.02. I stayed in my home town for med school, so I already had a group of friends living in Calgary before starting medicine here. However, I met a lot of really great people within the first couple weeks of school, and suddenly had a lot of new friends. Basically I try to compromise between spending time with friends from school, and spending time with my pre-med school friends. So I've ended up spending a bit less time with my pre-med school friends than I used to, but I also don't spend as much "social" time with people from school as other classmates do. It's a different story if you move to a new city for medicine because then most likely almost all your friends will be from school and so you'll spend most of your social activities with them. OK, so now on to relationships. The common theory is that 75% of people who are in a relationship when they start med school break-up at some point. From what I've seen so far I'd say this is pretty accurate. It's a lot of work to maintain a relationship during med school, plus you are meeting a lot of new people, and there will be changes to your relationship when you start med school, and you or your partner may not be able to deal with those changes. That being said, there are still a number of people whose relationships do survive (mine included) but I think they all undergo an adjustment period. The most difficult time I've ever had in my 4.5 year relationship was definitely the first few months of med school, because my boyfriend and I had to adjust to the changes in my life, and it took a bit of time to get back to a place where we were both comfortable. But now I would say things are better than ever. It is pretty common for people within the class or from different years to date, and this probably has a lot to do with it being hard to meet people outside of med school once you start. I can't say whether it's difficult to be in a relationship with someone else in medicine, but I'm sure there are others on this board who can answer that one. Hope this is what you were looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest byjude Posted March 23, 2004 Report Share Posted March 23, 2004 That's great, Jerika. I'm just interesting in hearing about the experiences people have had in this area more than answering any specific question. But it is nice to know about what other people have experienced to get an idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nops Posted March 23, 2004 Report Share Posted March 23, 2004 Only a small glimpse from one class in one school, but this is a quote from the "What's up Doc?" 2003 info package put out by Queen's med students. In the Meds ’06 class, of those who were in “pretty serious relationships” in September, about 25% had broken up by the end of the year. About 60% said their relationship was still as serious as it was at the start of the year, while the remaining 15% felt their relationship was stronger after first year of med school. “Nothing serious relationships” didn’t continue as well – 80% had broken up by the end of first year, and only 20% were still in the same relationship by May. No “nothing serious relationships” became “more serious” over the course of the year. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fox Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 It is definitely difficult to balance med and non-med friendships and a serious relationship, as well, but it is doable. I have invited my non-med friends to med events on numerous occassions, but usually they don't want to come as they feel they won't fit in since we spend so much time together and they don't know anyone. Totally understandable, and thus I think for the most part, these two worlds don't mix easily. If you go away to med school, then it really isn't much of an issue as most people you'll end up knowing will probably be from med. However, if you stay where you did undergrad, it is more of an issue. As for relationships, mine is doing just fine. We've been together almost 5 years, so it wasn't really a big deal. However, MANY people who started the year in serious relationships have broken up, and this may be due to distance, meeting new people, learning more about yourself, being young, your significant other not being able to handle seeing less of you, etc, etc. We have a significant proportion of people in our class that are in relationships with one another (maybe 8 or 9 couples), but it is really difficult to do as everyone in your class knows what's going on, when you fight, and all that other stuff. In my opinion, it is definitely nice to have a life outside of med... you can only see the same people so much before you lose your sense of identity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest byjude Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 I would have thought intra-class relationships would be somewhat taboo (like floorcest in residence) since the group of students is so small and does so much together over a relatively long period of time. Especially if the class is smaller. Is there a lot of tension if these people break up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DonaldKaufman Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Byjude, Did a fellow applicant catch your eye when you were interviewing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kirsteen Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Hi there, What do you know! I came upon this a few minutes ago when looking for something else: Intimate Relationships in Medical School: How to Make Them Work $26.95US through Amazon, if you're interested. Cheers, Kirsteen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fox Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 I wouldn't say that intra-med relationships are taboo, but there have been couples who have broken up and it has caused a few probs between them and when we're out partying etc. But life must go on... It is a difficult choice, because if you pass on a relationship you may miss something great, but if it doesn't work out, then it can be really hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moo Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 There've been a lot of hookups in my class since we started last year. I think I can count at least 10 couples, maybe more. A lot of them wanted to hide their relationships for a while but now they are "out" so to speak. Two people from my dorm floor are now living together. Another couple, an inter-class couple, are engaged. People have hooked up, and broken up. Incidentally, I feel that a lot of people have broken up with their serious bfs/gfs since school has started. As to whether this has anything to do with school, I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest byjude Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 ha ha.. DK, I wish. No, I'm with someone presently, but it's one of those "nothing serious relationships" (at the moment anyway) so I'm just interested in seeing what those ahead of me have experienced in the relationship realm - as in, whether we should keep this in mind in our relationship right now knowing how things might change if we both/one of us gets in. And.. well, I'm just curious about relationships blossoming in class because I've seen this a lot in undergrad and even then I could see the problems with it, so I would only think med school would be worse - since you cannot escape the person if you break up. Then again - maybe med students have the maturity to handle it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TimmyMax Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Hey, Here's the dirt on relationships at UWO, well at least within the class of 2006. There are no less than 18 intraclass relationships (yes, classcest is rampant here), meaning that 25% of students in my class of 133 are involved in a relationship with someone else in our class. In terms of serious relationships, I know that there are a few couples that are pretty serious about each other, some that are somewhere in the middle, and probably some that are just out of convenience. We've had two intraclass couples break up, which has caused a bit of tension at the time (and a shift in terms of the overall seating), but no animosity remains really, and one of the couples remains friends. There are also a number of relationships involving members of our class and other classes here at UWO, but those aren't quite as easy to keep an eye on because you don't see these people together day in and day out. Personally, I can attest that medical school causes a serious strain on existing relationships. It can be exceedingly difficult to overcome the items listed above, and mine never really adjusted- as a result, I was miserable for a lot of first year and we finally pulled the trigger back in October after almost 4 years together. I know that I made the right choice because for the first time in my undergraduate medical career I am truly content (although being single kind of bites at times, but it's not without its perks), and my friends have been really great in helping me out when things got tough. Oh, there are also 4 married people in our class (2 came in married and 2 were married this summer), and a number more are engaged. Oh well. Best of luck! Timmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kirsteen Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Hi there, I imagine that similar relationshipping occurs during the years of residency. After all, with all those hours and those hardships, I'm sure there are many people who find solace among others who can best relate to some of those experiences? As such, I'd imagine that, whether in medical school or in residency, both situations require a similar degree of professional decorum where romantic notions previously existed, but no longer do. I guess medical school provides an alternate training opportunity in that regard. Cheers, Kirsteen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest noncestvrai Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Did a fellow applicant catch your eye when you were interviewing? How about a female doctor interviewer? Ok, she did start the flirting, it's not my fault. Remember the 3 sec rule when it comes to meeting people... www.fastseduction.com/gui...onds.shtml Anyhow, medstudents are human, and thus relationships are bound to start, with anybody including classmates. Nevertheless, if I ever get into medschool in Montreal, I would have plenty to choose outside school for sure, we have the prettiest girls in Canada on top...hehe, no offense to Miss Thunderbay. noncestvrai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest byjude Posted March 25, 2004 Report Share Posted March 25, 2004 noncestvrai, If you get an acceptance at the school with the flirting interviewer, maybe that's just her way of saying she'd like the opportunity to pursue things further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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