Guest me Posted July 19, 2002 Report Share Posted July 19, 2002 I posted this under another topic, but no one responded so I thought i'd start a whole new topic of its own.. How do med students/residents deal with relationships during medical training? During med school and residency, it seems like most people have little time to tend to all of their studies, let alone meet someone and form a lifelong partnership.. if dating other med students is so frowned upon, where do you meet people? I was watching the show "Med students" (with the mac meds) and the girl with the dark black glasses brought up the issue that if one isn't engaged in a serious relationship by the time residency starts, they'll probably be single forever given the intense time commitment of work. Is this true? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UWOMED2005 Posted July 23, 2002 Report Share Posted July 23, 2002 First off, I hope this thread doesn't disintegrate like the last one. Secondly, this is mainly direct at those people. . . In the other thread I voiced my opinion about not dating fellow med students in your class. I wouldn't call this a strict rule - if you realize someone really is the bomb, then go ahead. Many couples do meet in medical school and things often do work out great. I would just HIGHLY advise against casual dating (ie trying stuff out, fooling around) as it can totally backfire against you. Not sure about this, but there were rumours at O-week last year (probable reason it was an "off year") about a couple of guys "playing the scene" at the medical school. . . fooling around with a bunch of different people. Story goes (and I have no idea whether it's true) that this ended up backfiring massively on them as they ended up picking up a rep for this. I think the best tactic though is to just meet people OUTSIDE the class in the city where you're studying. Sometimes this can be difficult. . . One of the things I love the most about medical school is how tight the class is and how we all hang out together. One of the things I hate the most about medical school is how tight the class is and how we all hand out ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY together. I think at most/many med schools the majority of the class is completely from out of town (grew up in another city, did undergrad in another city) so arrive at med school knowing practically NOONE at the school. Even for those who did undergrad at the same school as they're studying medicine, many of their friends from undergrad have graduated and have taken off for other cities. And most of us haven't had the opportunity to live in residence and meet people in other faculties, unlike in undergrad (most of the people I partied with in undergrad weren't in my faculty.) What that means is that when you go out on the weekends, you're almost always going out with other med students. At least that was partly my experience this past year. So I think you really have to make an active effort to meet people (anyone) outside the class. . . and it is possible. Invite them out if and when you're classmates go out to party. . . who knows, you might be doing a classmate a favour and it's quite possible they'll either bring someone or you'll meet someone you hit it off with. And when others in the class do bring people out who aren't part of the class, make sure you make an effort to get to know them, no matter who (or what sex) they are. They might not be the person for you (and don't be that guy/girl desperately hitting on any newcomer) but you never who they'll know. At least that was my strategy. . . As for maintaing a relationship in medical school. . . that can be hard to. Don't want to get too personal, but I was pretty involved with someone in the 4th quarter. . . and at times I was sacrificing school for the relationship. But that's life, I passed everything, and was happier than in the 3rd quarter where I sacrificed life for school. If you've been able to deal with it in undergrad, just keep doing the same thing in med school is the only advice I can give. That's my 2¢. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stylo Posted July 24, 2002 Report Share Posted July 24, 2002 UWO guy, thanks for your tips. I will be going to a med school in a larger city (a la Toronto, Vancouver, etc) where people won't be coming from out of town but will most likely be from that city. Do you know if the class will be just as "tight" and what kind of dynamics I should expect? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UWOMED2005 Posted July 24, 2002 Report Share Posted July 24, 2002 Sorry, not being a student there I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest strider2004 Posted July 25, 2002 Report Share Posted July 25, 2002 From what I understand the class isn't as tight in Toronto as it is in Queen's. I extrapolate this from the fact that many students(I've met) in UofT don't even know all of their classmates by the end of the first year of school. As for relationships, I've been 'in a relationship' with a classmate for over half a year now so it's possible. It's definitely tough but isn't that what makes it worth it in the end? You don't have the luxury of walking completely away from a relationship(like not seeing them eve again) but if you wanted to, then why did you get together in the first place? The reputation of a 'player' only matters when a pursuer doesn't want the pursuees knowing about that reputation. Do it in the class or outside- it doesn't matter. The rep gets around no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Akane200 Posted July 26, 2002 Report Share Posted July 26, 2002 Class dynamics at U of T Meds differs from year to year. I'm sure the 0T5's will tell you that they're really fun and cool and a really cohesive class. It's true. But it really depends on the class itself. Our class isn't said to be that close. We're rumoured to be uptight and competitive. While some people in our class are like that, not everyone is. I think a better word to describe our class is apathetic, but that's the class dynamic and it works for us. Judging from the listserve emails, 0T5s seem a little apathetic for o-week leaders if they are asking us to help out too! :b It's rumoured that it skips year to year (due to the structure of admissions, but I don't buy it) . the 0T3's and 0T5's are relaxed and cohesive. The 0T2's and 0T4s are apathetic and more competitive. I don't think the labels are all that accurate. If you're fixed on looking at something a certain way, you're bound to see it that way. The good thing about the class is that you're bound to find a niche for you to fit in. The class is large and diverse, and that's what makes it fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Da Birdie Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 Thanx to our webmaster (QM6), here're some stats for Qmeds2006 : ) Relationships: 45 pretty serious 8 nothing serious 4 married (34 LDR) (long distance relationship) 43 single (1 really single) (1 desperate) wonder how the stats will turn out to be at the end of 1st year / end of 4th year.... link to Qmeds2006 website: meds.queensu.ca/~meds2006/class.html cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QM6 Posted October 16, 2002 Report Share Posted October 16, 2002 I'm planning on doing a census at the end of the year, and that'll probably come up, so we'll seen soon enough. (We'll see if we can get that 1 "really single" to at least "just plain regular single"). Who are the other Meds 2006ers here? No fair you all know who I am now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Da Birdie Posted October 17, 2002 Report Share Posted October 17, 2002 lol it's KC here ya i kinda wanna see if the rumored 90% engagement/break-up rate after 1st year (or is it after 4 yrs of med school) is true : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kirsteen Posted October 17, 2002 Report Share Posted October 17, 2002 Hi there, It'd be interesting to see some of that data! I've never heard meds class stats, but similar hypotheses were thrown around about MBA programs when I was going through it a couple of years back. Interestingly enough, there did seem to be a fair number of marriages and relationships which snagged themselves in some barbed wire during the course of the program. It wouldn't be suprising if this was common during many a higher-education program involving large classes of slightly more seasoned individuals, for a whole host of potential reasons. However, it could be neat to see some formal numbers on it. Cheers, Kirsteen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UWOMED2005 Posted October 17, 2002 Report Share Posted October 17, 2002 90% is probably too high. I know quite a number of people who maintained solid relationships WITHOUT GETTING MARRIED (or at least engaged) throughout first year. On the other hand, it kind of surprised me how many people did get engaged. . . probably since few, if any, of my friends got engaged in undergrad and my general fear of the "M-word" (north american male in his mid-twenties, give me a break! ) And some people did break up with significant others over the course of first year. But I'm pretty sure 90% is an exageration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QM6 Posted October 17, 2002 Report Share Posted October 17, 2002 I remember that 90% figure in Queen's "What's Up Doc" book, they said it was the first-year break-up rate. Which I'm thinking is an exaggeration (my warm fuzzy side is hoping it is anyway. Well, not for my sake (being single (though not "really single" or "desperate")) but just 'cause we'll have enough sad endings in medicine, I'm thinking.) but I guess the end-of-year census will settle that. Do those numbers (single/dating/married % of class) seem average for other meds classes though? A U of S connection mentioned almost 10/55 or so married by second year (vs 4/100 Queen's). KC!... okay, that's two ppl in the class. Wonder who Sumi23 is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UWOMED2005 Posted October 17, 2002 Report Share Posted October 17, 2002 In 2nd year at UWO, we have somewhere around 5 currently married with a number of trips to the altar booked for next summer. Other than that, the numbers are fairly similar. And I'll repeat, there is no way the break-up rate for relationships was 90% for our class last year (well, unless perhaps you count people who broke up with multiple people. . . joking, and that's still doubtful.) Actually, it kind of surprised me. "Dumpsgiving" seemed to be a stalwart of long-distance relationships in undergrad, whereas that was not the case for the bulk of our class last year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QM6 Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 Just poking around old threads... Now that the year's over, any updates from any class trends out there? There's some stats on Queen's relationships record on the class census - to answer Da Birdie's original question on LDRs about the 90% failure rate, we were actually closer to "only" a 40% fail rate in first year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lakers4life Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 At UofT we have like 10 inter-class couples at least, if not more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest strider2004 Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 Vince, Your census doesn't take into account those who were in relationships but then broke up and started new relationships, does it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UWOMED2005 Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 Seems like out 2006s are very "classcestous." There's been a few more intra-class relationships added to our pile, and one engagement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TimmyMax Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 Hey, Yeah, our class of 2006 pretty much ignored Dr. Silcox's opening day address about this topic and delved quite deeply into the realm of "classcest". I can think of a least a dozen couples in our class, and I'm sure that there may even be a few more that I don't know about. There also seems to be a lot of dating between classes here at UWO. Is this a common theme at other schools as well? Timmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UWOMED2005 Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 It's true for our class and the 2004s as well. . . if you can't date anyone in the same class and you don't know anyone else in the city but med students (as is often the case,) then who are you going to date? Profs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QM6 Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 Hey strider, Nope, nothing about starting new LDRs... the intent was simply to test that rumoured 90% "fail" rate of existing relationships going into med school. So, out of those 40% "fails" (and I use "" 'cause some changes are for the best, I'm sure), some could've started new LDRs, some might've started something more local, some might not've started anything at all. I don't know - just that of the LDRs that existed at the start of year, about 60% are still together. How's things in the '04 class? "classcest" - no stats on that. I was planning of having a question like, "If you're in a relationship, is it 1) with a classmate, 2) with another meds, 3) with another Queener, 4) with some random Kingstonian, 5) with someone from home/elsewhere" but there wasn't room. Maybe on the '03-'04 census? Edited for clarity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TimmyMax Posted June 23, 2003 Report Share Posted June 23, 2003 Hey QM6, These censuses of which you speak sound like a neat idea! Who organizes them? Are they more informal class surveys that would run along the same lines as the admissions weekends feedback surveys that aneliz and I conducted on our class back in January in preparation for this year's admissions weekends? Just wondering. I think that something like this would be neat to conduct here at UWO. Thanks. Timmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest McMastergirl Posted June 23, 2003 Report Share Posted June 23, 2003 It's also interesting to see the # of Long Distance Relationships that go on in med school. My boyfriend is in Kingston (working) and I am in Hamilton, but luckily I have a car and I get to see him a fair bit. It's been kind of hard... especially b/c he's not in medicine, but we've survived 2 years!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IRNBRUD Posted June 23, 2003 Report Share Posted June 23, 2003 Hi there McMastergirl, I'm not in a LDR, but this intrigued me: "especially b/c he's not in medicine" How does his not being in medicine make things harder? I'm not really looking for the "he just doesn't understand" answer here My partner is currently suffering from the "Am I going to be good enough to hang out with the doctors?" syndrome. Comments would be greatly appreciated!! IB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest saskmedman Posted June 23, 2003 Report Share Posted June 23, 2003 Hey there, I just happened upon this thread and was kinda taken aback. I know I'm being the stick-in-the-mud 80 year old grandpa stereotype, but don't we meds have enough to worry about without trying to compile stats based on our classmates personal lives. Having said that, I think it's crazy to try and date someone in your class, especially at a small school like U of S, but if you really like the person than hey, what can you do? Also, I've been married since my first weekend as a med student (poor planning on my part!) and having a live-in supporter definitely helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QM6 Posted June 23, 2003 Report Share Posted June 23, 2003 Hey TimmyMax, The Class census was organised by the QM6 Census Commission, in partnership with the QM6 Information and Communications branch. (In other words, some of us on class council put together some questions of interest and made up anonymous survey forms to pass around during lecture.) I'll see if I have the census forms on a disk somewhere and I can email you if you want. Hey Saskmedman, Where do I get all this free time? Ah, you forget that we're pass/fail, unlike some schools out there ... plus, I'm just practicing for my alternate career; if this whole med school thing doesn't work out I'll apply for Chief Statistician of the province. I'll just have to watch out for le p'tit magicien qui pige des signes ici et la. Edited for français Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.