Guest Snew Posted December 23, 2005 Report Share Posted December 23, 2005 Hi everyone, I did a search and couldn't find much on this topic (if somebody wants to direct me to a previous thread on this topic, feel free). For those of you in medical school: how does medical school affect your relationship with your significant other? I would be interested to hear replies from people who are married, engaged, dating, whatever. I would also like to hear replies from people who are dating/married to people who are NOT in medical school, and any challenges they may face. My problem is that I may be attending Dal this fall, but my boyfriend just accepted an engineering job in BC for a minimum of two years. So, any experiences from people who are in long-distance relationships while in med would also be appreciated. Merry Christmas everyone! Snew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrSahsi Posted December 23, 2005 Report Share Posted December 23, 2005 Interestingly enough there's a similar thread in the Temporary Western forum: p090.ezboard.com/fpremed1...=139.topic Hope this helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JewelLeigh Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Hey Snew, I'm in 2nd year med at Dalhousie. My fiance and I have been together for about 2 years and he has lived in Ontario since I started at Dal in Sept 04. While distance always sorta sucks for a relationship, our experience has been not too bad so far. In first and 2nd year, you get all regular stat holidays, 2 weeks for christmas, a reading week in late winter and 3 months off for the summers. On top of that, we get lucky with a few extra long weekends here and there. So...combine that schedule with time he has taken from work to visit me, and we ended up seeing each other at least once a month. This is totally bareable as the next visit was never that far off. Much longer than a month gets very tough to see the "light at the end of the tunnel." During 1st and 2nd year, the workload was such that I could work extra hard in the week or so leading up to a visit and then sorta forget about school during the visit without getting behind. Anyway, since I'm only in 2nd year med, I can't speak directly about 3rd and 4th year, but my impression is that it is much more time consuming. We will often be on call over weekends, and while we still get a Christmas break, summer vacation no longer exists. As well at Dal, we are often sent outside of the main city for rotations (thus adding to the travel time for a visit). I know people who are dating during these years who live in the same city and find it difficult to have time together, so I can only imagine the problem it would be over long distance. (Luckily for me, we're getting married in 3 days and he'll be moving to Hali - so my time of long distance is done - wooooooo!) As to dating someone outside of medicine (my fiance's job has absolutely nothing to do with medicine) - I don't really notice it. He is interested in the stuff I learn, and it is neat to be able to be the "expert" when I tell him stuff I am experiencing. At the same time, medicine can become all-consuming (even more so in clerkship, residency, practice I bet) - so I find it very nice to have my fiance and our other interests together as an "escape." Provided that your significant other is interested in hearing about medically-related stuff (you'll have lots you want and need to talk about), then I personally think a non-medical significant other can be a really great thing (Of course, for other reasons, a medical significant other would also be cool ) So...that's my experience and opinion...hope it helps... Merry Christmas JL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marbledust Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 (Luckily for me, we're getting married in 3 days and he'll be moving to Hali - so my time of long distance is done - wooooooo!) Congrats Jewel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JewelLeigh Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Thank you!! I'm at the point where I cannot contain my excitement and am annoying everyone around me by turning every conversation into talk about the wedding, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snew Posted December 26, 2005 Report Share Posted December 26, 2005 Thanks for your reply JewelLeigh! The reason I asked about dating people who are not in medical school is simply becuase I have seen a lot of people talk about their experiences with their significant others who were in medical school/residency along with them. I know sometimes it may be harder for someone who was not in medical school to understand the time commitment and workload involved (although not necessarily, everyone is different ). And congrats on the wedding, you must be so happy! Good luck! Snew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NurseNathalie Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Hey Snew- I have been married for 17 years, and am presently doing the 'long-distance' thing.. since having been accepted into med school. (Due to the high tuition costs, we needed the stability of his employment- so we decided that he would stay back home with our 4 kids, and have me commute home on weekends). Although this is an added stress on the relationship, its really reassuring to know its temporary. I would say its important to schedule some regular 'special' times together. This will make it a little easier. Its also important to schedule some time to 'share' during the week- a good phone plan is a godsend! Because having the chance to acheive my life goal is important to me, it became as important to my spouse. This puts things in perspective because we have a sense of working together. Although its difficult to be away from him and my kids, we know its a sacrifice that will benefit us all in the future, so it makes it a little easier to 'do the time'- Its difficult, but not impossible. as an aside, my husband's carreer choice is very different than mine- which is nice, because you can go home and just be yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest little endian Posted January 4, 2006 Report Share Posted January 4, 2006 Hey, I am in first year meds at Queen's and my boyfriend of a year and a half lives in Scotland. Over the past semester I have become very familiar with the ups and downs of a long distance relationship. I saw my boyfriend for 2 weeks at christmas and hopefully will see him for a week and a bit at march break. Then I won't see him until July. It's hard, but we make it work. Lots of phone calls and emails, sending letters in the mail to let the other person know you're thinking about them. The time you do spend with your partner becomes even more precious. Thankfully my boyfriend is moving here for a year next year so I'll see him much more often, but I would say that you shouldn't let your relationship worries get in the way of your dream of going to the med school of your choice. If you're dedicated to it it will be able to stick it through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kupo Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 I have a similar relationship. I am in UBC med. My girlfriend of just over 2 years is in TO. She's not sure when she'll be able to come to Vancouver as I am more or less stuck here for the better part of 4 years. She might even get into U of T pharmacy! But you know, in our relationship, we know the other is worth waiting for and as my good ol' mom said to me "if they're worth it, you'll wait". To me, it doesn't seem that hard to handle (man I got so many things on the go). We keep in touch via MSN, 2-3 calls per week, with visits during Christmas and this upcoming summer. Obviously, the situation is less than ideal, but we both know - and understand - where our lives our heading and (wait...wait...here comes the sappy part) that we will be together eventually....awwwwww laterz Kupo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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