Having a baby while in meds(?)

[hot.annie]

hello!

I asked this qsn a while ago - generally aksing people when they thought having a baby would be th emost ideal time.

 

Ex.- 1) Dont go into meds after a degree - do Masters instead and take that 2-3 years to raise my child and then hopefully start meds(?).

...But would it be difficult with a 2ish yr old and the demands of school? Or just get preganant - drop the idea for Masters - and hopefully go to meds with a newborn?Or is that more insane than having a toddler?

 

2) The option I am not really liking - get pregnant during medschool and take time off? I think @ Dal they give you 6months or something along those line. But is that really enough time?

 

3) Wait until meds is over and get pregnant right after 4th year. Postpone Carms matching for a year(possible?)

 

I have noticed that a lot of the 'non-traditional' applicants tend to have children, what are your takes/ideas/stresses/issues/horrors:P/joys of chidren and medschooling?

[Jochi1543]

I don't know, all I can say is I have 3 MUCH younger siblings, and after spending much of my teenage years babysitting, I think having children at ANY age is insane.

 

If your spouse is happy to stay home, I think it's realistic - but then who's gonna pay the bills? The first 3 years are a nightmare though, you are going to be permanently drained; after that you can ship them to school and activities during the day, but I really don't think it's a realistic expectation for both parents to have very demanding careers with a baby at home. Besides, it's not just an issue of being under major stress, but also of missing on most of your child's time as a baby/toddler - for someone like me it would be a good thing but for most people who WANT children, probably not.

 

I would also take into consideration the pregnancy experience. My stepmother got through both pregnancies without too much difficulty, but my mother spent most of her pregnancy with my sister on bedrest. It was fine for her, because she was a housewife, but this is not an easy thing when you are on a fast career track. What if you have a difficult pregnancy and have to take a leave from school - is it something you can easily imagine yourself doing?

 

So, in a nutshell, I would ask yourself how exactly you imagine your lifestyle while you are in medical school if you were to be pregnant and eventually a mother with a baby. If your SO can't stay home while you are in school, you need to find a daycare. Then the question is, is the combination of tuition/daycare costs financially feasible for you to handle with just your student loans and your SO's salary? Do you have family nearby who'd be happy to babysit for free? I spent much of my childhood with my greatgrandparents because my mother worked full-time - I'd be with them during the day and then she'd come back home at 6 PM and pick me up.

 

To address the particular plans you've laid out.

 

1) Do you WANT a Master's? I do think that having a child while pursuing your master's would be more feasible than while going to med - there's not so much actual class time, and so you have some flexibility in your schedule, and you can do the work part-time if need arises. But is this degree necessary? Would tuition for it be yet another unnecessary financial burden? While these days we are conditioned to pursue a career first and then family, going the other way around is also an option. Maybe you just need to get pregnant now and wait 2-3 years, then apply straight to med. You can keep yourself busy with a part-time job. The adcoms completely understand taking time off from career/education to pursue a family.

 

2) I touched on this option above, both in terms of who's staying with the baby while you are in school (and how it's arranged financially), and in terms of what is to happen if you have a difficult pregnancy.

 

3) If this is possible, it does seem like a good option. But, I would compare it to my first suggestion (pass on the masters and have a baby before meds). The issue I would consider here is what if you don't get into meds this year? What if it takes you 3 years? Then you won't graduate until 7 years from today. If that were to happen, would you seriously regret not having the baby now, during those years you had to keep reapplying? Would these potential years without a baby and without career achievements make you miserable? Then maybe you should have the baby first. But if you have other ideas on what to do if you don't get in right away, then it's not as much of an issue.

[muchdutch]

You haven't really considered having a baby in residency. As far as I know quite a few residency agreements offer maternity leave - sometimes up to one year. The only thing to consider is if you really want to take the time off in this time (when you are presumably 'learning the ropes'), and delay your optimal earning power years by your maternity leave.

My physician waited until she was out of her residency to have babies (she is 34 now I think and just had her babies 1 and 3 years ago). She couldn't take as long a maternity, but she admitted to me that the only reason this was is that 'you get used to a certain lifestyle and in order to maintain it, I couldn't take as long of a leave as I wanted to'. She took 3 months with each baby. So if you are young-ish and don't mind having your babies when you're a bit older than typical, then this is an option as well.

[Jochi1543]

Also an idea, muchdutch. I gotta say though, I dated a physician who was in internal med residency and his lifestyle didn't strike me as sustainable, much less as one where a family could fit in. I think he got like 4 days off a month (never in a row), and his shifts were never shorter than 12 hours, and could go all the way to 24. This was the US though, I don't know if the expectations are more reasonable in Canada. It may also depend on the specialty as well, I imagine some residencies are significantly more demanding than others. I think if you are considering this route, you may benefit from talking to female doctors in specialties you would consider to see what their opinion would be.

[wanttobedoc]

A good friend of mine is in her second year of med in Alberta. She has 2 little ones ages 2 and 4. In the class after her there is apparently a woman who was admitted that has 3 children, (one baby she was still breastfeeding). Apparently the husband is in his residency too! Yikes....

It is possible, and my friend seems to be managing well. I have applied to a few schools for the first time and I have a 2 and 4 year old. I think as with everything it is about prioritizing and time management. My friend really does this well and it helps that she is very bright and very efficient in her study habits.

[JewelLeigh]

I know of three Dalhousie med students who became moms during med school. Two opted for a full year mat leave while one took three months and then was back to clerkship. There are also at least three guys I know of at Dal who became dads during med school - though I don't believe they took much time off beyond a few days when the baby was born. However, at Dal at least, they seem to be very flexible.

 

For myself - I plan to wait for residency when I will have an income This seems to be the choice for quite a few women in medical training.

[SarahZ]

Hi,

I have a 15 month old right now and hopefully will begin medical school this year or next. Check out MomMd.com there is a great forum there with moms who are premeds, in medical school, residency, and beyond, as well as women like you who are planning to enter medicine and motherhood at some point. How easy or difficult it is would also depend a lot on spousal support. My husband is really hands on, and IF I have another child while in medical school or residency he will be taking a paternity leave:)

[The Soccer Guy]

I think that having a baby would be extremely hard during your medical years. It is possible but very hard.

 

You will be in school and when you get back home or wherever it is that you live you will have to study A LOT, especially the first year! It will be a huge load of work that you have to cover and understand.

You will need some sleep to keep your brain functioning while you are in classes, and you know that with a little baby your chances of getting up 2-3 times every night are big!

Don't forget that you can't just forget about your baby. Your baby will need a lot of attention.

 

If your husband, mom or a someone along those lines is willing to help than it will be a lot easier.

 

That's all I can say. It will depend on how strong of an individual you are. Ie. how good you are with stress, pressure and that kind of stuff.

[hot.annie]

All of you have made such great points - some of which I hadnt even thought about!

Thanks very much ...I really want to be a young mom but still able to raise a child,and all! We'll see what works best! Thanks mucho!

[ssc427]

I have two little kids and am in med school. Though I am male I'd like to think that I play a very active role in their lives. The only difference is that I can't breast feed (thank God for that design decision ).

 

I'd say the only sacrifice is that I don't party at all and can't do many social things with my classmates. Considering how much time most meds party and do extra currics I really don't spend that I spend much less time studying than anyone else.

 

Financially I'm no worse off than anyone else. If you are poor kids basically pay for themselves via gov grants etc... and because my need is so high my tuition was completely paid this year. So don't let money scare you away. But if you can wait until res this is the best option. You get mat leave and depending on your specialty call is not necessarily too bad.