What do you focus on in the Toronto essay?

[shehpar786]

Hi Guys,

I did not get a Toronto interview this year. Since my GPA and MCAT scores are okay (or atleast that's wat i think!!!), I think it was my essay that got me the rejection letter this cycle AND last cycle. I was wondering if those who got interviews at Toronto could give me advice on what to focus on in the essay in case I need to re-apply (God! I hope not!).

Is it better to focus on three or four activities only? I used the chronology approach, talked about why I want to be a physician (based on my clinical experiences), focussed on two or three extracurriculars and how they make me a good candidate, and ofcourse detailed my undergraduate education. I actually started writing my essay in August and got it editted by several med students!! The rejection really made me quite upset because I thought I had put my best into it.

Any ideas on how I could have improved??

[Will_Son]

Well, I can't really speak for anyone else but I can tell you what seemed to work for me.

 

I started off my essay (about the first third) describing why I wanted to be a doctor. I talked about soul-searching in high school and how medicine seemed like a good fit for my skills and personality, blah blah blah. After that was a paragraph each about different aspects of my life which I believed prepared me for medicine. In order they were education, research, employment, volunteer work, and hobbies. I finished off with a short conclusion.

 

One difference I see between the way I wrote mine vs how you wrote yours was that I hit a ton of different points whereas you say you stuck to just a few extracurriculars. I didn't have incredibly strong academics so I really wanted to emphasize my well-roundedness and the diversity of my experiences to make myself stand out. I also felt it made the essay more interesting to read in that each point was only a sentence or two whereas focusing on fewer experiences may cause the reader to lose interest during a long description.

 

Something that caught my eye is that you say you "detailed" your undergraduate education. I barely talked about mine. Imo, talking about school is boring. I mentioned my major, how I felt it's provided me with a foundation for what I'll be learning in the future, and about some of the electives I'd taken which I believe would make me a better physician. The whole paragraph was four sentences.

 

Like I said at the beginning, this was just the format that worked for me and my comments are just the opinions of a fellow premed so take from them what you will. There's also definitely a certain amount of luck involved so your rejections might not having anything to do with your essay at all and could just be short-term variance.

 

Anyway, good luck with everything and hope I was able to help.

________

WEB SHOWS

[hp18]

Why should luck be a factor in selection process?

[Smurfette]

"As a general guideline, the statement should address and discuss the applicant's personal background, including particular interests and extracurricular experiences. Candidates should outline their choice of and preparation for a career in medicine. Applicants should also describe their premedical studies, expanding on what they have chosen to pursue and how this has prepared them for their future, including a career in medicine."

 

I copied and pasted this from the UofT website. One possible problem I could forsee in people writing their essays is not answering the question - eg. not talking about why they chose their undergrad and how they have prepared for a career in medicine. But that doesn't seem to be your problem.

 

I haven't seen your essay, but my guess is that it was too generic and did not come across as very sincere. As in: I did this, therefore, I feel I want to be a doctor. Ask yourself: if you had never met this person before, when you read your essay do you immediately get a feel for who this person is? What are his/her strengths? What are his/her passions in life? Can you understand why this person did the things he/she did and what he/she learned from them? What has this person been up to in the past 4 years (or more if you're an older applicant)?

 

I don't think there is one single way to approach an essay. Everyone will do it differently and there are many equally "right" ways. I don't agree with Will_Son about focusing on a lot of activities. In terms of EC activites, I focused on maybe 2 main activities. I also talked about others, but I centred it around ~2 main ones. These were key turning points in my desire to ente medicine.

 

However, I DO agree with Will_Son that you shouldn't write long, detailed descriptions. Write concisely in order to describe what you want to say - it is boring to read a whole 300 word didactic, convoluted thing about how you volunteered at the hospital.

 

Of course, these are just my own opinions - and I'm just a little premed too.

[Will_Son]

Why should luck be a factor in selection process?

 

I think it's luck in who is chosen to review your application. Different things impress different people so, if an essay would impress 75% of the reviewers, luck becomes a factor in you being assigned a reviewer in that 75% bracket.

 

To put it another way, for the average med school applicant, if you sent the exact same application every year for 10 years, there's no guarantee that you'll receive the same feedback each year.

________

Headshops

[katerade]

check out the book 'essays that will get you into medical school'. its not too expensive and i picked up a couple really good pieces of advice, as well as some ideas for my own essay from it (and got a u of t interview). the best piece of advice i got from the book was to start off with a story or anecdote that will capture the readers attention right away. if you essay is enjoyable they will get a better sense of you as a person. also, i think its best to tell a cohesive story about who you are, and leave out the parts of your background that dont fit into that ... they have your sketch, they dont need a chronological listing of your experiences again. pick 3 or 4 that really give a good picture of who you are as a person, and why you want to be a doctor. then make sure you end off with the more boring (but necessary) details of how your undergrad has prepared you, because they specifically ask for that.

[HannaLee]

I only mentioned a few key ECs in my essay, but rather than detailing a job description, I talked more about what I learned from the particular activity as it would relate to medicine...for example, I had done a lot of teaching, so I talked about how this affected my decision to pursue medicine instead, and what i learned from teaching that could be useful in the life of a doctor.

In mentioning my undergraduate education, i mentioned my program title, but then talked about the types of courses i took which appealed to my learning style to demonstrate that I had a genuine interest in the material medical school would be focusing on, and to show that my learning style fit with the teaching style at u of t.

 

I think the main thing I tried to do was to show that I was a fit for U of T medical school opposed to any of the other medical schools. Someone who goes to macmaster is equally intelligent and able to become a physician, but chances are their learning style and personality might not be the same U of T is looking for. Sell yourself to U of T in addition to trying to prove why you'd be a good doctor.

[whatsupdoc]

I think it's important to have as many people read it for you as well. Ask them if it catches their attention or if it is a boring read. The admissions people read so many you want to portray yourself as unique.

[paperweight]

Why should luck be a factor in selection process?

 

Impossible for luck to not be involved when essays, reference letters, etc. are to be reviewed. Ditto with interviews.

[Kirsteen]

I think it's important to have as many people read it for you as well. Ask them if it catches their attention or if it is a boring read. The admissions people read so many you want to portray yourself as unique.

Hi,

 

I agree with the above, but I'd add that you ask a good cross-section of folks to read the essay, including at least one person within the clinical realm, e.g., a medical student and/or physician.

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen

[Ollie]

Hi,

 

In addition to your essay, I would also suggest that you think about who your references are and if you should consider a new reference next time. A mediocre letter or inappropriate reference could definitely be contributing to your situation. For example a letter from someone whose primary relationship with you is as a friend, or through your family (like a parent's friend) is probably not getting scored very high.

[eise]

After being a twice unsuccessful candidate, I had a friend on the U of T admissions board review my 'file'. He said that my essay was completely holding me back and he personally would have thrown out my file (and perhaps burned it) if he had read my essay alone. The two main criticisms he gave:

 

1) the essay should not read like a detailed resume. as mentioned above, the adcom has your sketch and if your essay is only re-iterating what they already know about you (even if in more detail), theyre not gaining any new information. instead, you should highlight the main features about you and/or your experiences. I highlighted 3 experiences that demonstrated why i want to be a doctor and skills learned from those experiences that would make me a good doctor.

 

2) the reviewers should gain a sense of who you are from reading your essay. ideally, you want them to read your essay and say to themselves, "wow, i really want this person to be in my class/treat my ailing mother!" And try to sound as unique as you truly are. My friend read my initial essay and said he hated the person who wrote it - he basically described the person as arrogant and boring, things i am definitely not (as identified by my friend ). So in this year's essay, I attempted to display my personality more - it was light and humorous and definitely not arrogant. I also agree with the above poster re an anecdote to start - it was a great way for me to show my humour and sense of fun and be unique.