Married during medschool/residency anyone?

[Guest FockI'mOld!]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm 23 and am with someone that genuinely cares for me. I have been in several relationships before and she has by far surpassed anyone I have known in terms of patience, understanding, kindness, etc. all the good things. We've been together for 1.5 years and if things keep going like this for another 2 years, I will most likely propose to her. I figure by that time, I should be in 1st or 2nd year of med.

 

 

I was hoping to get some input from ppl who are pondering the same thing, or have actually gotten married/engaged during med/residency.

[Kirsteen]

Hello everyone' date='

 

I'm 23 and am with someone that genuinely cares for me. I have been in several relationships before and she has by far surpassed anyone I have known in terms of patience, understanding, kindness, etc. all the good things. We've been together for 1.5 years and if things keep going like this for another 2 years, I will most likely propose to her. I figure by that time, I should be in 1st or 2nd year of med.

 

 

I was hoping to get some input from ppl who are pondering the same thing, or have actually gotten married/engaged during med/residency.[/quote']

Hi there,

 

You're not alone in that there are plenty of folks who are either married when they enter medical school or become engaged or married during or shortly after the completion of medical school. Life goes on and marriage (and having kids as well) can be worked into most medical programs, i.e., schools and residencies. Planning and preparing for a wedding during medical school or residency can be a bit harrowing due to the amount of time and effort required but hopefully your very amenable partner would help with some of that work. As for honeymoons, most of the folks I know who married in medical school postponed the honeymoon until a fitting time, that is, they didn't miss any school to take that trip. As for residency you can certainly use your vacation time towards wedding and honeymoon activities.

 

Kirsteen

[Talon01]

Hello everyone' date='

 

I'm 23 and am with someone that genuinely cares for me. I have been in several relationships before and she has by far surpassed anyone I have known in terms of patience, understanding, kindness, etc. all the good things. We've been together for 1.5 years and if things keep going like this for another 2 years, I will most likely propose to her. I figure by that time, I should be in 1st or 2nd year of med.

 

 

I was hoping to get some input from ppl who are pondering the same thing, or have actually gotten married/engaged during med/residency.[/quote']

 

A few people in my class got married between 1st and 2nd year as well as between 2nd and 3rd year. During 3rd and 4th year you might find it difficulty.

[Madz25]

There are quite a few people that were married before they started med school in my class and there are a few that have gotten married in the past year or will be getting married in the upcoming year.

[The_B]

Howdy,

 

I actually got married this past summer. I am in my second year at Queen's here, and I can say it was the smartest thing I have ever done. Being married in medical school has introduced unique challenges for me, which I can shed some light on here.

 

First off, she knows nothing about what I am going through. Tough now, likely to get a lot worse once clerkship and residency starts. Simple fact is, medicine is a very cruel and unforgiving mistress, and you need a very understanding partner. Thankfully for me, she is very understanding, but fact is, no matter how much your partner may try, they cannot understand the unique challenges that come with medical school.

 

Second, understand that there is a medical bubble. Everything my class does, is done together with others in medicine. This makes for an interesting dilemma for me. Although my wife is completely supportive, do I subject her to the inside gossip, the talks about residency and class, the narrow scope of our world, or do I skip out? This is a constant struggle for me, and I have mostly chosen to spend my time with my wife alone. This is great, but also means that my classmates haven’t gotten to know me as I would have hoped, and I am out of the loop quite frequently.

 

Finally, I simply will never have the amount of time I would want to spend with my wife. You marry someone because you want to be with them, and well, it isn’t fun not be.

 

Having said that, there are some major pluses.

 

-the obvious, I am married and in love. There really is no greater thing. Getting in medical school is a wonderful feeling, but if given a choice between my wife and medicine... I’d be an electrician.

 

-she cooks and does laundry. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do this, but as other medical people will attest to, time is at a premium, so having other people help is wonderful

 

-SHE IS OUT OF THE BUBBLE!! Seriously, coming home and not having to talk medicine is such a great thing. My wife keeps me grounded, which is really invaluable.

 

If you are you curious about anything else, feel free to ask (here or PM).

[jojo07]

what is the average age that med student are married at?

[Guest FockI'mOld!]

A few people in my class got married between 1st and 2nd year as well as between 2nd and 3rd year. During 3rd and 4th year you might find it difficulty.

 

I'm guessing this is because clerkship and electives are just that gruelling?

[Talon01]

I'm guessing this is because clerkship and electives are just that gruelling?

 

I assume so. And the lack of a summer vacation.

[JewelLeigh]

I got married at Christmastime during my second year (I am currently in fourth year) and I completely concur with The_B! The best day of my life was the day I married my husband....with the day I got into med school being a very distant second

 

However, I cannot stress enough the sacrifices that your partner will be required to make throughout medical training and beyond. It's one thing for a person to choose to forgo their extra sleep, time, money, etc, in order to have a career that they love...but it's a whole new ball game when it comes to asking someone else to make those sacrifices for you. An understanding partner who is independent and doesn't mind a lot of time away from you is essential.

 

That said...I'm not convinced that I could've survived clerkship with my sanity intact if it weren't for my husband. He is my rock who listens patiently (likely without understanding most of what I say) when I come home excited about a diagnosis I made, crying about a sick patient or complaining about a difficult resident. Again, I echo The_B - my hubby keeps me grounded and reminds me of the rest of my wonderful life outside of medicine.

 

So, in the end...if it's the right person, who understands the commitment you both have to make in order for you to complete medical training and work as a doctor, then marriage during medical school/residency could very well be the best decision you ever make

[Jag]

I got engaged in the summer after med2 at age 23, and am planning on getting married a week after graduation in 2009 so some of my classmates can still attend the reception before moving away for residency. So far no complaints or problems... although the worst is likely still to come.