Toronto essay

[Guest lF]

Hi everybody, I desperately need some help with my essay. Toronto is the school I really want to get into, but every year, I have been told my non-academic component is uncompetitive. I really don't know what to do. I got into Western and Ottawa already, but as a first year Masters student right now, I couldn't get a deferral and so basically have to apply all over again. So this is the last time I'll apply to Toronto and I have to get everything right.

 

So the problem is that I basically have no idea what is a good essay for TO anymore. ( I don't write terribly (got 94 in Eng OAC), have lots of extracurricular activities). i have no idea what to do and have no idea what the problem is. Talking to Bigg Gregg the admission officer doesn't help , since after following his suggestions, I actually did worse (25th out of 25 applicants regarding nonacademic package). So, I really need help!!!!!!! I'm really not stupid, I have a great GPA and MCAT, but the essay just doesn't seem to work.

 

All suggestions will be welcome,since I can't do any worse. What I really want though is if anyone is accepted and is willing to send me their essay over email so I can use it as a guide and appreciate what a "good" essay is like. Of course, I won't copy since the activities don't match up anyway and I certainly don't want to be rejected forever by all the school. I just need a sample to look at and finally understand what they want.

 

Desperate

[Guest Kirsteen]

Hi there IF,

 

It's funny that you should post this, as I've had a similar, head-scratching experience. In reviewing my UT assessment, I was fairly surprised to hear that my essay was the principal factor weighing the application down, (especially given that a very similar essay received rave reviews at another university).

 

I spoke with someone who succeeded in gaining entry to UT this year, who admitted that that English writing is not her strong point. Therefore, when it came to the essay she simply went for the formulaic approach: used each paragraph to address each one of the UT prompts. She said that it was a very no-frills, to-the-point and basic essay. I don't know how her essay fared in the context of her whole application (from what I understand, her academic portion was very strong), but I do know that UT supposedly has three individuals read your essay, so the scoring may be very subjective. As Bill had mentioned, it may just have been that the essay did not strike a positive chord with one of the readers, hence the lower score.

 

So I'm with you here on the request for advice; however, no worries regarding posting specifics or an actual essay. By now most of us should have a nice collection of experiences to fill in those details that are required. Therefore, if anyone can provide any guidance as to how to they generally approached the construction of the UT essay, and how they managed to do so successfully, I'd be happy to hear them.

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen

[Guest LF]

It makes me very mad to think that one essay could make or break you for a whole year. Anyways, sorry to hear the same about you. The problem is I wrote a relatively 'frilly' essay the first time, and got the response that although the essay wasn't amazing, if my GPA improved, I would be able to get an interview with that essay. But of course, blame myself for wanting to improve my essay too, so I called Bill Gregg and he told me I should concentrate on giving examples. Well, guess what happened, the new and improved essay was ranked last in 25 essay read.

[Guest Akane200]

If your marks aren't stellar enough to guarantee you an interview, then the essay is a major component that you need. However, the essay is supposed to tell them about yourself and what makes you special (or better, hint hint, than everyone else). In addition, a well written essay that describes a bad characteristic of yourself isn't good either (not that you might have done that). It may be that one of the reviewers found something unsuitable or that you essay just didn't stand out (there are very many that they have to review).

 

I don't believe that the style should really affect the essay evaluation (within reasonable limits). Clear and concise writing is often the best since you don't have a lot of space to say everything (I ran out on mine, and had to keep revising it) and the adcoms doesn't have a lot of time with all those apps to read. That's probably why the no frills approach works well especially if you write very concisely. Examples of things you have done are very important to back up your claims (but that's part of basic argumentative essay writing that you should already know).

 

Perhaps the content in your essay was lacking compared to the 25 other essays. Perhaps it wasn't that you were all that bad, but that the other people were just much better with the activities that they participated in, and other things. It may not be the style or writing at all. I think they judge essays more for the content you put in, and what you have to say about yourself. I know someone in my class who didn't get in the first time, and he revised his essay to reflect more about himself. He got an interview that way.

 

I have to say something that I don't like about looking about following other people's essays as a guide. I think it crosses the line of academic honesty (but of course, that's just my own opinion; I consider writing style, structure, vocabulary and approach as something unique to each individual). Your essay should be personal, and honest. It should reflect yourself even in the structure you choose. I feel that following someone else's guide does not forward your own essay since it's just making your own essay much like that of everyone else's. It may not stand out, and yours may be overlooked again.

 

While there are 3 people who do read the essays, it may be considered subjective. But I think this is the same for all med schools and other admissions.

[Guest Akane200]

One more question: you got into western and ottawa meds, so why didn't you go there??? Why reject them and apply all over again for U of T???

 

Addenum to my thoughts in the last post:

 

If you do send someone else (I'm not accusing IF of anything; just a hypothetical situation) an essay that he says he will not copy. And let's just say that he does copy it and gets caught, what do you suppose will happen to you?? I know that at U of T the consequences of allowing someone to copy your work can be severe too.

[Guest MEDCOMPSCI]

I think IF pointed out that a first year Masters student who could not get a defferal, admission to Western and Ottawa was unacceptable.

 

I think you need to stop asking other people so much for help on your essay. Afterall, htf would you listen to what strangers on a newsboard tell you about how to express why YOU want to goto medicine, etc? Most of those questions are of a personal nature; moreover, they manner in which you express them should be of your own taste. It is easy to spot a 'faked' writing style. Also, there is not definte asnwer as to what a good UofT essay makes. I started mine with an annecodte, I knwo of a bunch of other people who did not. It all boils down to what you feel comfortable writing.

 

In terms of bashing the UofT system for invites, take a look at the other schools. Is it fair that Queens rejects those with a 9 in verbal? Or Western those with below a Q in the WS? Most of the Ontario schools have their own quirks about them. UofT seems to love the GPA (60% of the app.) so it is strange that you are continually rejected b/c of your essay.

 

Just remember to be yourself and write like you normally do; if UofT wants the REAL you, then you will be admitted. And youdon't want to be a school that doesn't want the REAL you.

[Guest Kirsteen]

Hi Medcompsci,

 

Pardon my potential brusqueness here, and I'm not sure if you're responding to both IF and myself, but I certainly hope that you are reserving your more gentle, sympathetic and empathetic tendencies for your fellow classmates, future colleagues and patients--those who will need and expect it more.

 

I don't speak for IF when I say that in my posting above, I was simply asking how other people had approached the writing of their essay--not the specific details therein--more as research towards diligently completing this task. It is potentially unlikely that UT favours one sort of essay approach over another, given that a minimum of three essay readers bring to each essay assessment their own, unique accumulation of experiences, and concomitant responses. An avid writer, I would be happy to write umpteen essays employing a spectrum of styles, tones, structure, levels of creativity, etc. There are myriad combinations of ways to approach this piece. Alas, UT accepts only one essay, so I must choose from the mixture of possibilities. I simply asked aloud if UT prefers one type of approach over another, as one-sided and unlikely as that seems. Potential clues to answers of such questions (if such answers do, in fact, exist) could help save some time and money for many of us.

 

As to expressing why I wish to pursue medicine, (if your comment was directed towards myself), I agree that it would be ridiculous to be able to expect most other people to predict any given person's specific medico-motives. However, as to how to express these ideas, as mentioned above, that's a different thing.

 

Furthermore, UT as well as other schools, decide their selection parameters and I respect and may comment upon them, but I'm sure that you did not confuse these feelings with bitter bashing. People often come to this forum to share ideas, experiences, and opinions, and given that most of us have or will share this common experience, this topic falls validly within that realm.

 

As to crafted writing projecting the "real" you, I would often beg to differ; and most especially in the realm of the medical school essay. Having a large amount of time within which to create and hone this work, and having to address so many ideas and convey so many factors related to the pursuit of a medical career, medical school essay writers can ultimately end up with a piece of writing that acts more as a shield rather than a window to the soul. Sure, via the style or the vocabulary a writer can make the essay "yours", but with the very same tools the writer can wittingly make it not "you". In this regard, I suppose this forms the necessity for the interview--a slightly more accurate, although still imperfect forum for the "real" person to emerge and shine. A thought: Medcompsci, your writing has been a prominent presence within this discussion area over the months and you certainly project yourself notably, but is this writing and person that we see here the real you--and more interestingly, is it an identical you to that which could have been garnered from the writing in your medical school essay?

 

Back to the original issue though, I appreciate the generosity, frankness and friendliness of those on- and off-line who have offered their insights as to their approach towards the essay. I pride myself on possessing the strength to pursue the path of mavericks, and the essay would represent no less of an opportunity to do so, but guidance helps (even if in the smallest of ways) to clear the glass of the compass that points towards that common goal that you have been fortunate and talented enough to attain.

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen

[Guest MEDCOMPSCI]

Hey Kirsteen,

 

Acutally, I was only talking to the original poster, but I believe you brought up some of the same issues. I did not mean to come across as being too harsh with what I was saying; I was simply pointing out that asking some strangers on a newsboard how to structure your UofT essay (according to what they did) really is lame. As for asking what type of essay works, well, it is sort of like asking what type of undergrad degree works. Most people will say do a four-year bio degree, then if you don't get in do a masters. Or other people that will tell you to spend your summers researching in a lab b/c you won't get in otherwise.

 

The truth of the matter is that every applicant whose application is considered (ie - above the minimum requirements) is an individual and the best way to get into med school is to be as different as possible (I can't think of a better way to be 'different' other than being yourself!). If you don't like research, or can't afford to, don't do it. If you really hate the pressures of a bio undergrad and want to try something you like better, do that instead. Just be preparaed to defend what you did during your interview.

 

Similarily, maybe part of the problem is that people think too hard about conforming their writing and end up missing the point of the exercise. I don't think the various schools ask for you to write an essay covering some points expecting everyone to submit the same basic 5 paragraph structure.

 

In hindisght I was probably a little too aggressive; I can only imagine that with each passing year people become increasingly frustrated, esp. when their rejection boils down to something like an essay. I just feel that instead of asking us how we structured our essay, which are intrinscally dependant on the content, one would be better served to try to hand in what they feel is their best attempt based on their content.

 

BTW - thank you for using my name (well, alias) and the worded talented in the same sentence. Never happened before (despite scoring 45 points in a single basketball game).

[Guest Ian Wong]

Hi all,

 

I hope that there aren't any ruffled feathers here. This can be a rather sensitive topic, and I'm glad everyone is seeing eye to eye. As far as the essay goes, I have to agree with the above posters. The essay really is something individual, and should be unique to yourself.

 

I would think that e-mailing you a copy of my med school application essay could only lead to trouble, both for you AND myself. Something to consider.

 

The problem too is that there isn't really any guarantee that the same members of the admissions committee will read your essay this time, as compared to last year. This variation alone could be enough to swing your evaluation in one direction or the other. Different people will get different impressions from the same essay.

 

About all I can say is that you consider some of the points I've suggested on my website. Use either a chronological or a personal characteristics format. Supply examples to back up your statements. Ensure that the essay is structurally and grammatically perfect. I think that if you incorporate the above suggestions, then the physical appearance of the essay shouldn't be in question. At that point, I can only see the content of the essay being an obstacle, but that's something unique to yourself, and therefore isn't anything I can really help you with.

 

I know it's frustrating as heck, but I think you can do it.

 

Ian

UBC, Med 3

[Guest strider2004]

Actually, your name and 'talented' weren't in the same sentence. Hehe. Just jokes. 45 points eh? That's severe.

 

Kirsteen will do fine on her application. She has shown her talent on this discussion board. Other people might just suck at writing essays. I think I got a 3/6 on my UofT essay when I applied. At least I think it was a 3(it deserved a 3). I saw the interviewer shuffling it around and I saw a circled 3 on the top. NEways, I refocused my efforts on trying to ANSWER THE QUESTIONS and got into Queens.

 

Here's an easy essay task. Write the thing, then walk away and leave it for a couple of days. Then read it and see what you think of it. That'll give you a fresh perspective on what might be wrong.

[Guest YongQ]

Just want to add my one cent in this discussion - the essay is something, in my mind, that you should really be writing across months, not weeks. When I applied to Toronto, this part of the application received the crux of my attention, and I had a first draft off in 2 weeks, editing it once or twice a week for the next 1 1/2 months, every time I had a good idea. It may seem hard to judge your own essay, but believe me after 5 or more edits you begin to reach a level of satisfaction that doesn't waver from week to week (a good sign), and over those two months you can really do your research (using web sites like this or accepted.com, etc. just look at Ian's list of links) to see what attributes really add up to a great essay. Looking at your own essay across a long period of time allows you to catch not only structural errors, but nuances of character conveyed by that structure (e.g. you might be presenting yourself as aggressive, insensitive, cocky, or meek depending on your wording). Myself, I had a problem with sounding overly cocky because my vocabulary wasn't loose enough. I like being concise, but since style matters here, you have more to worry about than conciseness.

[Guest Akane200]

Just a thing about scouring for tips for essays, interviews, and stuff all over the place like the net, hearsay, etc. :

 

I am in no real position to judge how useful looking for tips actually is because I was on the other extreme where I didn't look for any tips and advice from anyone at all. I just did exactly what the instructions had said, and tried my best at writing the essay and the interview (mind you, I was also the girl who wore running shoes to her interview . I really didn't know at all what they expected us to wear...). I didn't look for more info on the process, or stats very much from the adcoms. I just submitted everything because I trusted that it was through merit (and not style, or more superficial features) that applicants were chosen. I'm not implying that I was a "maverick" of any kind. On the contrary, I was quite the opposite (just naive and reckless, on the other extreme).

 

YongQ make a good point about wording and overall impressions from your essays though. It really isn't very good if you sound arrogant. I guess you have to work at being concise and concentrating on your good qualities without sounding cocky.

 

However, when we were tour guides this year for the interviews, we were instructed on what to say when the applicants asked us questions. A few very shrewd applicants went as far as asking us for advice on the interviews knowing that we were on the "other side of the fence" (and it really is very different; we were by far much more relaxed than them).

 

We were instructed to tell them to "just be yourself". This was really good advice. Not because if we told them other advice that they will have any unfair advantage, but that if we told them anything else, applicants would concentrate/obsess during the interview on the advice given (which may even have been obscure and totally unrelated). In essence, it could adversely affect their performance on the interviews.

 

I understand that a lot of applicants are anxious, and want to be informed and not to be disadvantaged. I've been there myself. However, it just puts into perspective that all that advice may throw you off. Just be yourself. It's so simple, and that's really all the adcoms want to see. I think everyone has stressed it, but I want people to think about the adverse consequences of scouring for tips and advice looking for an edge. It's not really necessary, and in the end, it may not do you any better (or even worse than if you hadn't looked).

[Guest Essay score]

How do you find out how your essay scored? The personnel in the admissions office doesn't seem to want to divulge this information over the phone. Did you email someone? Come in for an assesment?

 

Thank you.

[Guest JSS02]

I have a question about the format of the essay. We're not supposed to (or at least, we're not expected to) answer each of the 7 questions sequentially with a different paragraph or anything like that, right? Something like that probably wouldn't appear very unified...

[Guest Kirsteen]

Hey there Jeff,

 

I wouldn't think that UT are wishing separate, sequential and distinct answers in that form, else they may have taken Queen's approach with the answer format. However, in saying that, in approaching this essay some may devote one paragraph to each topic and using transition tools to give the essay flow.

 

That's basically how I approached mine this year, to make sure that I have concretely addressed each point and to avoid the "pitfalls" of last year's essay attempt. I scrapped last year's essay entirely and started from scratch by using each question as a header and brainstorming each point. From there, it seemed much simpler to pull together some good points for each paragraph. Since then, over the past week it's been a matter of honing and flow-work. In the first draft my essay sat at 12K characters--eeek. However, in the process, I've juggled the answers around and amalgamated two responses within one paragraph and I'm happy to say that the bleedin' thing is almost done--and just under the 8K restriction.

 

Therefore, the most important thing is to make sure that you've addressed all of the points that UT has laid out, but once that's complete, feel free to be loose with the structure, etc.

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen

[Guest JSS02]

Hey Kristeen, thanks for the response. May I ask what it was that you didn't like (the "pitfalls") about your essay from last year?

[Guest Kirsteen]

Hey there Jeff,

 

Re: the "pitfalls", I felt that my essay from last year was okay, but according to some feedback from the UT adcom a few months back, apparently I was a little, no a lot actually, off the mark. However, with respect to the feedback, it was not entirely specific. Therefore, the "pitfalls" I refer to are entirely subjective--I've no concrete idea as to what may make a desirable or undesirable essay.

 

With respect to last year's essay, I took an entirely different tack this year. Last year's was more "read between the lines" whereas this year's is "you can't miss the info in the lines". However again, I don't think there's any given formula for the essay, it's simply a matter of writing something that's meaningful and that just happens to click with the adcom readers--obviously the former being easier to do than the latter.

 

Cheers,

Kirsteen