Girls can't drive...

[Boa]

Or should I say: Girls named Boa can't drive. sigh

This is pathetic. Ive been trying to obtain my license since 2007. Do the math, we're in 2011 now. My twin got his license in 2008. what the f is wrong with me??

Let's do a flashback.

In 2007, I took 24hours of driving lessons . After the 1st class, the teacher told me I was errmmm a ''special client'' so he enrolled me in a what i would call a''slow/retarded student driving program'' because I too nervous. After the 24 hours of lessons, I felt like I was kinda ready to pass the exam.

#fail

The guy that was testing me was super arrogant and not patient at all so I just freaked out and quit . I have been in the car for like 5 minutes and he started to scream at me cuz my stop was not done properly so I said''u know what, screw the exam im just going back to the saaq (the place were the exam is held)'' so ya, epic fail for me .After this massive fail I left the whole driving think in a corner for a few months, but then I was getting pressure from my parents to just get it, so I payed for 24 additional hours of lesson (with a different teacher tho) but it didnt help.

I dont know for the other canadian provinces but driving lessons are super expensive, so I decided to let my parents teach me. Let me tell you one thing, Haitian parents dont play with you. You better learn your stuff right away otherwise they beat you loll no but seriously, my parents are not patient at all so i cant practice more than 30 minutes in a row otherwise they are so annoyed that i suck so much at driving and start screaming at me.

 

so after learning to drive from multiple teachers, the main criticisms I get are that:

- I am too anxious:I hold the steering wheel like it's my last day on Earth (ie gripping it way too firmly). but for some reason, i enjoy driving on the motorway, i find it relaxing hahaha

-I dont use my logic to drive:this is so true. I don't know why, when I enter the car, my head just goes blank, its like i dont think of anything. today my dad and I practiced the parrallel parkings and it was just a mess. I was so confused, i didnt know where to turn the steering wheel, i was just plain lost.

- I am not focused: i get distracted a lot. Its like I see the stop sign, I now I have to break but then my dad tells me something and I just forget about the stop sign and pass it by lol but seriously its not funny , what if some kid wanted to cross the street?

My friends joke that when ill get my license, theyll start taking the bus again

 

 

to make a long story short i would just like to have some advices from the pm101 community. My plan is to practice all summer and pass the exam in september (for my bday!) .

how did you learn to drive? how can i deal with the anxiety?

[obi]

Go to a large, empty parking lot and get your passenger (parent/friend/brother) to tell you what to do. They can say like, make a left turn so you slow down, signal, turn, release continue etc.

 

Or they can be like "Stop sign ahead at that light post" so you slow down and come to a complete stop, look both ways, and then continue driving. Just stuff like that. Get familiar and comfortable with the actions of driving. The way the car moves, the amount of pressure you need to get to 60, or stop from 40. The angle you need to turn the wheel to change lanes, make full turns, etc.

 

Once you're comfortable in a car just moving around in general, then you can try and take it onto the road and worry about driving around actual cars.

 

If you live in London i'll probably be popping around throughout the summer so i'd be happy to teach you for a couple hours at a time. (i'm super patient, i taught my sister how to parallel park a minivan) Otherwise ya, just go with my tips. And i would say if you have a friend who's had their license for more than 4 years (in ontario at least) then get them to teach you instead of your parents.

[Clever]

I was quite good at driving when I first started. I owe this due to my experience driving bumper cars and go-karts.

[kickserve]

This does not address all your points, but I believe that these tips should be of help to you, especially with parking

 

 

I practiced with an uncle who had an idea that I found really helpful. I believe it could help you with your parallel parking problem as well - Practice in a large empty lot, as mentioned above, but devote a considerable amount of time to practice driving in reverse. Get used to how turning the wheel in a certain direction will affect your car's movement. It feels weird at first (especially going at nearly full speed in reverse), but after a while you will feel more comfortable with parking and car movements in general.

 

Additionally, once you get enough practice, then the steering wheel movements necessary for parking, parallel parking etc will become second nature to you and you will not have to think every step through when parking

[psychoswim]

I got my license 3 months and 1 day past my 16th birthday back when it was 3 months of driving classes before taking the test.. My parents were anxious for me to drive myself to the 5:30am practices lol!

 

I found it harder when I learned stick shift. My dad taught me, but he's very impatient with errors so I distinctly remember 1 episode where I stalled about 10 times in a row at a light because after the first stall he started to get angry so vicious circle After that I drove around with my mom with no problems.

 

Parallel parking.. I wasn't very good (did do one on my exam), but within 2 weeks of living in Montreal I was just fine with it! When you use it every day it becomes second nature.

 

I think maybe what you need is finding someone you can drive around with that won't stress you out right away. Then when you're comfortable say you could add music, conversations.. slowly work you way up. BTW, some people will always be a little more stressed than others driving. Having lived in Montreal for over 10 years I don't mind the big trucks on the highway, but my sister doesn't like to drive and park here because she's used to a smaller city.

[vancouver.2010]

Do you know what's causing the anxiety? Are you afraid of crashing into something? Have you ever experienced the same level of anxiety while doing other stuff?

 

If it's relatively mild, I would think that with time and practice, the anxiety will eventually subside. In your case, it sounds a little more severe. I know this may sound crazy but there are certain types of behavioural therapies that can help with anxiety (eg. Cognitive behavioural therapy, etc.) so maybe it's something you may want to consider if nothing else seems to help?

 

On another note, I don't think it's all you. It helps to have a patient driving instructor and someone who can teach you in a logical way. I would suggest leaving parallel parking until you're confident with driving and/or you've mastered all other types of parking. Parallel parking tends to confuse lots of people so no worries, you're not the only one who finds it difficult.

 

Lastly, what kind of car are you driving? If you're using a van, SUV or pick-up truck or anything larger than a sedan, perhaps you should consider using a smaller vehicle if that's possible? Driving a corolla should make the maneuvering easier in my opinion.

[jp.mylittlepwny]

I learned to drive before I got into the car on those coin-op arcade racing games. I was very comfortable driving at the simulated high speeds and the transition over to a real car was almost seemless.

If you have a friend who is into racing simulation games (GT5/forza) and has a racing wheel, take some time practicing on that for a change and become comfortable operating your vehicle at simulated high speeds.

Also I find your seating position has a lot to do with how you drive. This is from personal experience and from comparing how a friend drives when seated up against the wheel (I'm scared to get in her car). I find a further back position with the wheel at almost arms length allows me easy viewing of all 3 mirrors without large movements of the head,

 

Just another option for you to consider.

[Cnussey]

I suggest you do something calming before you attempt to practice...like meditation (not drinking, obviously) or a wonderful, hot bath. Relax, forget about passing, just go into thinking "I already know how to do this, I'm just practicing, enjoying a drive", etc.

 

Ask your brother to take you to an empty parking lot and drive you around--your twin might be more helpful, or another friend...someone who is less likely to be angry with you and more likely to be calm and patient. If someone is angry and annoyed, it's just going to feed your anxiety.

 

When I'm having an anxiety attack, I attempt to meditate (doesn't always work...sometimes I simply end up collapsing on the floor in a gasping heap of stress, but it's getting easier and easier)...I picture myself in an open boat, floating off the coast (of where I'm from) on a brilliant, warm, summer day where all I can hear is the waves lapping, birds and just feel the quiet rocking. The more often you meditate, the easier it becomes to focus on that place of peace and calm yourself even while doing something stressful.

[Entrainment]

There are some free online games for practicing parallel parking -- like this one:

 

http://www.driverseddirect.com/game/

 

Maybe also practice driving with a friend who is willing to cheerlead you and build up your confidence. Someone with nerves of steel who will tell you when you are doing things right.

[lostintime]

A lot of it nowadays is not who well you drive but who the examiner is. Some are out to fail you to earn money and really, many experienced drivers will fail by their ridiculous standards. Or they just have a bad vibe about you and just fail you for stupid reasons that you can't argue since it's their word over yours.

[thehockeykid]

if ur in the gta, i know a good driving teacher. he works at CAA near the finch subway station and look like borat. Just ask them for the driving instuctor who looks like borat and they will know who ur talking about

[PhoenixFlare500]

I passed my G on the first attempt despite running a red, not using the parking brake, and speeding.

 

How did you pass that? I don't know about the parking brake but the other two are automatic fails over here!

[Boa]

Go to a large, empty parking lot and get your passenger (parent/friend/brother) to tell you what to do. They can say like, make a left turn so you slow down, signal, turn, release continue etc.

 

Or they can be like "Stop sign ahead at that light post" so you slow down and come to a complete stop, look both ways, and then continue driving. Just stuff like that. Get familiar and comfortable with the actions of driving. The way the car moves, the amount of pressure you need to get to 60, or stop from 40. The angle you need to turn the wheel to change lanes, make full turns, etc.

 

Once you're comfortable in a car just moving around in general, then you can try and take it onto the road and worry about driving around actual cars.

 

If you live in London i'll probably be popping around throughout the summer so i'd be happy to teach you for a couple hours at a time. (i'm super patient, i taught my sister how to parallel park a minivan) Otherwise ya, just go with my tips. And i would say if you have a friend who's had their license for more than 4 years (in ontario at least) then get them to teach you instead of your parents.

 

This is how I first learned to drive as well, and I think it's a great idea. The parking lot at the college in my hometown would usually be empty during evenings and weekends, so my dad would bring me to practice there, and there was lots of space. This is also very important if you want to learn how to drive stick shift (stalling the engine when cars are behind you is not pleasant).

 

This does not address all your points, but I believe that these tips should be of help to you, especially with parking

 

 

I practiced with an uncle who had an idea that I found really helpful. I believe it could help you with your parallel parking problem as well - Practice in a large empty lot, as mentioned above, but devote a considerable amount of time to practice driving in reverse. Get used to how turning the wheel in a certain direction will affect your car's movement. It feels weird at first (especially going at nearly full speed in reverse), but after a while you will feel more comfortable with parking and car movements in general.

 

Additionally, once you get enough practice, then the steering wheel movements necessary for parking, parallel parking etc will become second nature to you and you will not have to think every step through when parking

 

I got my license 3 months and 1 day past my 16th birthday back when it was 3 months of driving classes before taking the test.. My parents were anxious for me to drive myself to the 5:30am practices lol!

 

I found it harder when I learned stick shift. My dad taught me, but he's very impatient with errors so I distinctly remember 1 episode where I stalled about 10 times in a row at a light because after the first stall he started to get angry so vicious circle After that I drove around with my mom with no problems.

 

Parallel parking.. I wasn't very good (did do one on my exam), but within 2 weeks of living in Montreal I was just fine with it! When you use it every day it becomes second nature.

 

I think maybe what you need is finding someone you can drive around with that won't stress you out right away. Then when you're comfortable say you could add music, conversations.. slowly work you way up. BTW, some people will always be a little more stressed than others driving. Having lived in Montreal for over 10 years I don't mind the big trucks on the highway, but my sister doesn't like to drive and park here because she's used to a smaller city.

 

Do you know what's causing the anxiety? Are you afraid of crashing into something? Have you ever experienced the same level of anxiety while doing other stuff?

 

If it's relatively mild, I would think that with time and practice, the anxiety will eventually subside. In your case, it sounds a little more severe. I know this may sound crazy but there are certain types of behavioural therapies that can help with anxiety (eg. Cognitive behavioural therapy, etc.) so maybe it's something you may want to consider if nothing else seems to help?

 

On another note, I don't think it's all you. It helps to have a patient driving instructor and someone who can teach you in a logical way. I would suggest leaving parallel parking until you're confident with driving and/or you've mastered all other types of parking. Parallel parking tends to confuse lots of people so no worries, you're not the only one who finds it difficult.

 

Lastly, what kind of car are you driving? If you're using a van, SUV or pick-up truck or anything larger than a sedan, perhaps you should consider using a smaller vehicle if that's possible? Driving a corolla should make the maneuvering easier in my opinion.

 

I learned to drive before I got into the car on those coin-op arcade racing games. I was very comfortable driving at the simulated high speeds and the transition over to a real car was almost seemless.

If you have a friend who is into racing simulation games (GT5/forza) and has a racing wheel, take some time practicing on that for a change and become comfortable operating your vehicle at simulated high speeds.

Also I find your seating position has a lot to do with how you drive. This is from personal experience and from comparing how a friend drives when seated up against the wheel (I'm scared to get in her car). I find a further back position with the wheel at almost arms length allows me easy viewing of all 3 mirrors without large movements of the head,

 

Just another option for you to consider.

 

I suggest you do something calming before you attempt to practice...like meditation (not drinking, obviously) or a wonderful, hot bath. Relax, forget about passing, just go into thinking "I already know how to do this, I'm just practicing, enjoying a drive", etc.

 

Ask your brother to take you to an empty parking lot and drive you around--your twin might be more helpful, or another friend...someone who is less likely to be angry with you and more likely to be calm and patient. If someone is angry and annoyed, it's just going to feed your anxiety.

 

When I'm having an anxiety attack, I attempt to meditate (doesn't always work...sometimes I simply end up collapsing on the floor in a gasping heap of stress, but it's getting easier and easier)...I picture myself in an open boat, floating off the coast (of where I'm from) on a brilliant, warm, summer day where all I can hear is the waves lapping, birds and just feel the quiet rocking. The more often you meditate, the easier it becomes to focus on that place of peace and calm yourself even while doing something stressful.

 

There are some free online games for practicing parallel parking -- like this one:

 

http://www.driverseddirect.com/game/

 

Maybe also practice driving with a friend who is willing to cheerlead you and build up your confidence. Someone with nerves of steel who will tell you when you are doing things right.

 

The first part made me giggle.

 

Honestly, I learned how to drive through practice! And I found those driving lessons to be pretty useless, I think people learn better on their own...and as you become more experienced, I suspect (or at least hope) that you're anxiety will lessen. Part of passing the test is sheer luck too- I passed my G on the first attempt despite running a red, not using the parking brake, and speeding. I'm not sure where you live, but its a lot easier to pass in smaller towns, so you could try that.

 

A lot of it nowadays is not who well you drive but who the examiner is. Some are out to fail you to earn money and really, many experienced drivers will fail by their ridiculous standards. Or they just have a bad vibe about you and just fail you for stupid reasons that you can't argue since it's their word over yours.

 

if ur in the gta, i know a good driving teacher. he works at CAA near the finch subway station and look like borat. Just ask them for the driving instuctor who looks like borat and they will know who ur talking about

 

Thank you for your advices. Being in the drivers seat still feels, after 5 years, ''unnatural'' to me. Like most of you said, it is a good start to get used to the car so i should focus on that first rather than getting every instructions perfectly. Hopefully this will be achieved before september

 

ps: is it normal that i cant see anything when im driving? Yes, the Rear-view mirrors are there but i dont find them useful...perhaps because I dont place them properly? For example, while im trying to park parallel, my dad is like ''ok you are wayy too close, ure gonna hit the sidewalk, didnt you see that tru the mirrors?'' me:ummm no:confused:

[HBP]

You're the reason why I get road rage. True story.

 

Sorry.

[Boa]

You're the reason why I get road rage. True story.

 

Sorry.

 

thats okay lol

but dont worry at least i dont have my license yet

[Cnussey]

Are you short? You might need to start fiddling with those mirrors more...who cares how long it takes you...my kids are sometimes grumbling at me while I fix whatever my friend has moved in my car. Better to take your time than to hit someone!

[psychoswim]

Thank you for your advices. Being in the drivers seat still feels, after 5 years, ''unnatural'' to me. Like most of you said, it is a good start to get used to the car so i should focus on that first rather than getting every instructions perfectly. Hopefully this will be achieved before september

 

ps: is it normal that i cant see anything when im driving? Yes, the Rear-view mirrors are there but i dont find them useful...perhaps because I dont place them properly? For example, while im trying to park parallel, my dad is like ''ok you are wayy too close, ure gonna hit the sidewalk, didnt you see that tru the mirrors?'' me:ummm no:confused:

 

I don't use my mirrors to parallel park, I turn my body around instead. When I was taught (by the school) they said I could even unbuckle my belt if I wanted just to park but I don't bother. Anyways, judging the distance to the sidewalk only becomes easier with lots of practice, and even then who says you can't make 2 attempts?

 

WRT mirrors, maybe you're expecting to see too much? Rear-view should show most of the back windshield. Side mirrors, they show just beside your car to lessen the dead angle (is that what it's called in English?).

[Cnussey]

thats okay lol

but dont worry at least i dont have my license yet

 

Lol...don't apologize--road rage is just as dangerous. Bad HPB, bad!

[Boa]

Are you short? You might need to start fiddling with those mirrors more...who cares how long it takes you...my kids are sometimes grumbling at me while I fix whatever my friend has moved in my car. Better to take your time than to hit someone!

 

yeah im short so I use a pillow but it doesnt help apparently...

[Boa]

I don't use my mirrors to parallel park, I turn my body around instead. When I was taught (by the school) they said I could even unbuckle my belt if I wanted just to park but I don't bother. Anyways, judging the distance to the sidewalk only becomes easier with lots of practice, and even then who says you can't make 2 attempts?

 

WRT mirrors, maybe you're expecting to see too much? Rear-view should show most of the back windshield. Side mirrors, they show just beside your car to lessen the dead angle (is that what it's called in English?).

 

Ouais peut etre que je devrais essayer le parking parallele sans les miroirs...je déteste les utiliser, c'est tlmnt petit! Maybe like you said, im expecting to see too much! Je dois apprendre a les utiliser comme du monde ...

[obi]

When it comes to parking your mirrors will be mostly useless. You're not going to see the edge of the curb or the gap between your car and the guy behind you in your mirrors. When it comes to parking it's all about depth perception. And thats once again where practising in a big empty lot will help you. Without fear of smashing someone elses car, you can try and park as close as you think possible to a bevelled curb or a tree as a marker etc.

 

If you find yourself thinking you're as close as possible, turn off the car and check. If you find you're too far for a decent park just pull out and redo it this time knowing that you can go a bit farther. Over time you'll get used to how "big" your car is and how much space you actually have to work with passed what you can physically see.

[Entrainment]

Originally Posted by Boa

 

ps: is it normal that i cant see anything when im driving? Yes, the Rear-view mirrors are there but i dont find them useful...perhaps because I dont place them properly? For example, while im trying to park parallel, my dad is like ''ok you are wayy too close, ure gonna hit the sidewalk, didnt you see that tru the mirrors?'' me:ummm no

 

It's not normal. Do you wear glasses? I don't want to sound faecetious, but maybe you should get your eyes checked. When I started learning to drive I found depth perception terribly difficult. I failed my test twice, then got lucky on the third shot. The problem got worse and worse though, and a few years after my test I had to have eye surgery (which completely solved the problem).

 

Another thought: you could watch "Canada's Worst Drivers" on CTV, maybe pick up a few tips.