A follow-up to the dating thread, with a different twist

[mcater2006]

Totally agree with what ur saying.

 

I seen lots of this group of guys at ut engineering.

 

cant blame them though, its not like they brought it on themselves

 

You are prophetic. Engineering programs are known for their terrible gender ratios. So at a time when relationships are most likely to form (most of med school couples met while they were in undergrad), engineering students are stuck with... other guys.

[KennethToronto]

I am shaking right now... Do people on this forum actually know who I am??? :eek:

 

Is that a rhetorical question?

[mcater2006]

Is that a rhetorical question?

 

No. I meant it quite literally.

[KennethToronto]

No. I meant it quite literally.

 

then I would say Laika had it spot on

[JTJ]

^ Um, was that supposed to be a PM? ^

 

I'd delete your last 3 posts if I were you. Not cool to out someone's identity/specialty/IRL details when you were afraid of being identified yourself!

[10wattbulb]

To the OP: You're definitely over-analyzing your dating problems right now. When you're a psychiatrist, I believe that you have to be careful not to bring your work 'home' with yourself, your family, or your potential girlfriend because when you do this, you're doing more harm than good. Keep it all in the hospital/clinic. And likewise, keep the dating OUT of the hospital/clinic (ergo, do not date any of your colleagues if you don't want any trouble).

 

Now, personally, I believe that it's very natural to consciously/subconsciously/unconsciously want to be in a relationship with another person. And you sound like a guy who wants to be in a good relationship but are scared of falling in a bad one (and this is a legit fear, esp with your previous bad experiences). Yet, it can be be very difficult to find the right person (esp when exercising in the medical field) because it takes time to get to know another person very well, and it also takes time to become good at dating. What you need to do now is to build up your self-confidence, be less of an introvert and go out more with your buddies, and for the rest, just 'go with the flow'.

 

As for the children problem, don't worry about this now. I suspect that your parents are pushing girls your way and talking to you about wanting grandchildren because they're beginning to suspect that you're gay (even if it's not the case). It's just a wild guess on my part, but I feel that when you'll start dating, your parents will stop asking you about children (although they might ask about marriage). I've seen many parents exhibit this attitude with their sons (less so with daughters). Now, who you choose to be with and how many children (if any) you decide to have is YOUR business only; don't let your parents dictate that for you, even if they're the best and most loving parents in the world. Keep on finding polite excuses to stay on good terms with your parents, even if it's annoying to do (or until you find a better way to raise the topic with your parents that risks being more productive).

 

P.S. even if someone did ID you (which I doubt they did; I think they just want to freak you out), don't be worried because you've got nothing to be embarrassed/nervous about.

 

Just my 2 opinionated cents.

 

EDIT: I don't like your 'evil empire' post. It's ridiculous to assume that 'evilness' is a genetic trait that can be passed on like eye colour, height, ability to roll your tongue, etc. And besides, there's no such thing as an 'evil empire', just evil individuals & ideologies... Your parents should be proof of that (because I assume they're not evil, and yet, they came from the 'evil empire'). Your sense of logic seems to be seriously flawed at times, dude. Start deconstructing those faulty reasoning schemes...

[Guest viscous]

The fact that many of my fellow members of human species have acknowledged that you wont have a chance with a girl if you were hideous or ugly (both out of your control as you dont control your genome) says a lot about human species as being very close to primal apes. We really have not evolved our morality that much. Sometimes it does seem that Apes have higher moral standards than Homo sapiens. Why would anyone want to be intimate with such an immoral depraved species member who becomes interested in you because not of things you did or achieved with hard work but because of things that were given to you by God/Nature/Evolution (seemingly unjustly, what is the crime of an ugly person to be born ugly?), is beyond logic.

 

Mcarter, you will do great by not marrying. If it ends in divorce, you'll loose your 50% of wealth/property to a woman anyways. Marriage is a relic of Christendom past. Better get rid of it. My theory is that marriage as a concept was developed by women about more than 100,000 years ago to con men into monogamous relationships.

 

Although, do try to develop a game for fulfilling your sexual desires. Keep your reptilian brain happy. As is often said, "women come and go." Have as much sex as you can. It is fun. Try new partners.

 

I can see why you are in psychiatry. Great choice. Many are smart intelligent people with the ability to rationally think about life, existence and question human cultures and thought processes. Kudos.

 

A thought provoking video:

 

[mcater2006]

Thanks 10wattbulb. I must say that your post ranks up there among my favorite replies. It kind of resonates with what I have guessed all along and coincided with some of the tips given to me by an attending that I was with a couple of years ago. I will take your 2 opinionated cents to heart and abide by it for a few more years until such a time I may have a more involved discussion with my parents, if something like that may ever take place.

 

To the OP: You're definitely over-analyzing your dating problems right now. When you're a psychiatrist, I believe that you have to be careful not to bring your work 'home' with yourself, your family, or your potential girlfriend because when you do this, you're doing more harm than good. Keep it all in the hospital/clinic. And likewise, keep the dating OUT of the hospital/clinic (ergo, do not date any of your colleagues if you don't want any trouble).

 

Now, personally, I believe that it's very natural to consciously/subconsciously/unconsciously want to be in a relationship with another person. And you sound like a guy who wants to be in a good relationship but are scared of falling in a bad one (and this is a legit fear, esp with your previous bad experiences). Yet, it can be be very difficult to find the right person (esp when exercising in the medical field) because it takes time to get to know another person very well, and it also takes time to become good at dating. What you need to do now is to build up your self-confidence, be less of an introvert and go out more with your buddies, and for the rest, just 'go with the flow'.

 

As for the children problem, don't worry about this now. I suspect that your parents are pushing girls your way and talking to you about wanting grandchildren because they're beginning to suspect that you're gay (even if it's not the case). It's just a wild guess on my part, but I feel that when you'll start dating, your parents will stop asking you about children (although they might ask about marriage). I've seen many parents exhibit this attitude with their sons (less so with daughters). Now, who you choose to be with and how many children (if any) you decide to have is YOUR business only; don't let your parents dictate that for you, even if they're the best and most loving parents in the world. Keep on finding polite excuses to stay on good terms with your parents, even if it's annoying to do (or until you find a better way to raise the topic with your parents that risks being more productive).

 

P.S. even if someone did ID you (which I doubt they did; I think they just want to freak you out), don't be worried because you've got nothing to be embarrassed/nervous about.

 

Just my 2 opinionated cents.

 

EDIT: I don't like your 'evil empire' post. It's ridiculous to assume that 'evilness' is a genetic trait that can be passed on like eye colour, height, ability to roll your tongue, etc. And besides, there's no such thing as an 'evil empire', just evil individuals & ideologies... Your parents should be proof of that (because I assume they're not evil, and yet, they came from the 'evil empire'). Your sense of logic seems to be seriously flawed at times, dude. Start deconstructing those faulty reasoning schemes...

[mcater2006]

Hi viscous. The things you have talked about coincide closely with my philosophy. Yet I feel the reptilian part of my brain keeps on getting in the way. I just come to the realization that I should maybe still just stick to my transhumanism, it will be the thing to resolve all of my dilemmas. Such is the revelation I have had yesterday.

 

 

 

 

The fact that many of my fellow members of human species have acknowledged that you wont have a chance with a girl if you were hideous or ugly (both out of your control as you dont control your genome) says a lot about human species as being very close to primal apes. We really have not evolved our morality that much. Sometimes it does seem that Apes have higher moral standards than Homo sapiens. Why would anyone want to be intimate with such an immoral depraved species member who becomes interested in you because not of things you did or achieved with hard work but because of things that were given to you by God/Nature/Evolution (seemingly unjustly, what is the crime of an ugly person to be born ugly?), is beyond logic.

 

Mcarter, you will do great by not marrying. If it ends in divorce, you'll loose your 50% of wealth/property to a woman anyways. Marriage is a relic of Christendom past. Better get rid of it. My theory is that marriage as a concept was developed by women about more than 100,000 years ago to con men into monogamous relationships.

 

Although, do try to develop a game for fulfilling your sexual desires. Keep your reptilian brain happy. As is often said, "women come and go." Have as much sex as you can. It is fun. Try new partners.

 

I can see why you are in psychiatry. Great choice. Many are smart intelligent people with the ability to rationally think about life, existence and question human cultures and thought processes. Kudos.

 

A thought provoking video:

 

[bloh]

Having no kids means nobody will take care of you when you're old and in a wheelchair. It means you'll be in a retirement home sooner and nobody will visit you because most likely your friends will die off, but maybe you'll be first who knows. It's a very lonely life after your 60s and 70s when you get too old to work a lot and taking care of yourself by yourself becomes a hassle. Say hello to early retirement in a home, it's very likely you'll end up there first.

 

PS: maybe if you tried not pursuing hot girls and instead talked to average girls you will find they may be much less dumb and selfish. You've probably only talked and pursued gold diggers, which is why you get into problems (ps all of them are super hot). A good tip is not telling them you're a doctor until way later if you want to pursue a relationship. Pretending you're poor and seeing if they actually like you before letting them actually know saves a lot of hassle and keeps the gold diggers far away.

 

Sorry to break it to you but this is the case for people that have kids anyway. Most seniors die lonely regardless of how many kids they have. Raising kids for the good part of your life to have them visit you once a week isn't worth it if that's your only motivation.