What A Mess.

[Username1980s]

I guess I'm about to post this for cathartic purposes...here we go.

 

I obtained a Bsc in Psychology in 2012. While I did well in most of my psychology courses, I did poorly in the pure science courses (molecular biology, organic chemistry, etc) which completely destroyed my gpa. I ended up with a 2.4 undergrad gpa. It was clear that I was not going to cut it for Med school, and the idea of repeating classes or doing a second UG seemed completely ludicrous to me. I decided to take a year off to work full time,reflect, volunteer and explore other career possibilities. I've shadowed many health care professionals and Occupational Therapy was the field that seemed to fit with me the most. I volunteered with pts and ots for about a year and while I didn't enjoy it 100%, I didn't hate it 100% so I figured I would pursue an OT degree. During that time, I realized that I was mentally exhausted and just wanted to forget about med school and focus on progressing into life, i.e moving out of my parents,having a decent career that I would enjoy,have my own family and home by 30 years old. Pursuing an MOT sounded like the perfect plan : 2 years of studying and I'll have a stable career and would be able to start living my life after spending all these (useless) years at university.  This was my ultimate plan. But my poor gpa was in the way...Clearly,there was no way around it, I HAD to return to uni to raise my gpa to at least a 3.1. I found the courage inside me to complete a random one year science certificate program and obtained straight As.Then, I applied to the Bsc OT and MOT...I was rejected to both. So I took another semester (as an independent student this time) and re-applied again to the MOT (at this point my cumulative UG gpa was about 3.35). To my delight I was called for an interview-aced it- and was finally admitted into the program! I could not believe it...my hard work was finally paying off. I moved out of my parents,quit my full time job for a week-end job and took student loans.

 

Then the program started...and everything fell apart. It slapped me in the face that I just didn't belong there. Something felt off. Something was off. I hated the curriculum, the style of teaching, the groups dynamic,everything!I was internally anxious all.the.time. 3 weeks into the program and I wanted to quit.  But after doing all this hard work to get in the program I felt stupid for having those thoughts so my new mantra became ''bite the bullet darling, it's only for 2 years''.That didn't work at all. In my first year,I passed most courses with A-/B+ with the exception of 2 where I ended up with C+. According to the uni's grad program policy, one C is permitted but two Cs are unacceptable and you are automatically kicked out of the program.

 

So that's where I'm at. Kicked out of Graduate school. I cannot believe it. I did not know it was even possible to reach that kind of low.It's been 4-5 months now and I'm still in a depressive state. I am consulting a therapist to try to come to terms with this mess but it's very,very difficult. I truly feel like I have hit rock bottom and I just don't know how to pick myself up anymore. Nobody (except my therapist) knows of my situation so it makes it even harder to deal with.But at the same time I prefer to keep it to myself until I come up with a failproof solution or another realistic life plan.I've always been a resourceful person and people come to me all the time for personal advice but now, for the 1st time of my life I feel empty, completely lost and unable to project myself into the future. 

 

The more I try to rationalize the situation and brainstorm possibilities, the more depressive and frustrated I get. I'm in my late 20s with a useless bachelor's degree and half a master's degree that left me with 5k in debt. I could return to uni and pursue another degree but I'm scared to fuk up my gpa even more (plus, how the f am I suppose to explain being kicked out of grad school on another hypothetical application??!!).Furthermore I'm not even sure what other program I could do, none really excite me.I have consulted academic advisors but that did not help me to make new career goals. I'm already in my late 20s, so perhaps the smartest thing to do would be to keep my boring receptionist job until retirement and forget about uni entirely? TBH the thought of it makes me absolutely miserable... 

 

So pm101ers, what would you do if you were in my lamentable situation? I see zero ways out of this pathetic mess.

[Fresh fry]

Not sure exactly what you are asking. I don't think anyone here can tell you what you would be interested in. If you are asking is there still a chance at med the answer you will get is "there is always a chance" but tbh it is pretty remote. I started my undergrad at 28 and am now in residency so your age is not really a factor but I did not have any GPA baggage. The 5K in debt is nothing in the grand scheme of things especially when compared to average med student debt.

 

I know you are looking for answers (and maybe a little encouragement) but i doubt anyone here can tell you anything you don't already know. Can you do better in school if you go back for something else? Only you know that. Can you get into another program? Sure but it will be a lot of work. Should you? It is impossible to answer that until you know yourself and what you can, and can't live with.

 

GL

[HappyAndHopeful]

I'm sorry you're in this predicament, I feel for you. Have you considered midwifery, diagnostic sonography, or radiation therapy? With a BSc in psych, you can also apply to a MSc in counselling, which is my backup plan if I don't get accepted to med school. Keep your head up! One way or another, things will work out

[geriatricsdoc]

I guess I'm about to post this for cathartic purposes...here we go.

 

I obtained a Bsc in Psychology in 2012. While I did well in most of my psychology courses, I did poorly in the pure science courses (molecular biology, organic chemistry, etc) which completely destroyed my gpa. I ended up with a 2.4 undergrad gpa. It was clear that I was not going to cut it for Med school, and the idea of repeating classes or doing a second UG seemed completely ludicrous to me. I decided to take a year off to work full time,reflect, volunteer and explore other career possibilities. I've shadowed many health care professionals and Occupational Therapy was the field that seemed to fit with me the most. I volunteered with pts and ots for about a year and while I didn't enjoy it 100%, I didn't hate it 100% so I figured I would pursue an OT degree. During that time, I realized that I was mentally exhausted and just wanted to forget about med school and focus on progressing into life, i.e moving out of my parents,having a decent career that I would enjoy,have my own family and home by 30 years old. Pursuing an MOT sounded like the perfect plan : 2 years of studying and I'll have a stable career and would be able to start living my life after spending all these (useless) years at university.  This was my ultimate plan. But my poor gpa was in the way...Clearly,there was no way around it, I HAD to return to uni to raise my gpa to at least a 3.1. I found the courage inside me to complete a random one year science certificate program and obtained straight As.Then, I applied to the Bsc OT and MOT...I was rejected to both. So I took another semester (as an independent student this time) and re-applied again to the MOT (at this point my cumulative UG gpa was about 3.35). To my delight I was called for an interview-aced it- and was finally admitted into the program! I could not believe it...my hard work was finally paying off. I moved out of my parents,quit my full time job for a week-end job and took student loans.

 

Then the program started...and everything fell apart. It slapped me in the face that I just didn't belong there. Something felt off. Something was off. I hated the curriculum, the style of teaching, the groups dynamic,everything!I was internally anxious all.the.time. 3 weeks into the program and I wanted to quit.  But after doing all this hard work to get in the program I felt stupid for having those thoughts so my new mantra became ''bite the bullet darling, it's only for 2 years''.That didn't work at all. In my first year,I passed most courses with A-/B+ with the exception of 2 where I ended up with C+. According to the uni's grad program policy, one C is permitted but two Cs are unacceptable and you are automatically kicked out of the program.

 

So that's where I'm at. Kicked out of Graduate school. I cannot believe it. I did not know it was even possible to reach that kind of low.It's been 4-5 months now and I'm still in a depressive state. I am consulting a therapist to try to come to terms with this mess but it's very,very difficult. I truly feel like I have hit rock bottom and I just don't know how to pick myself up anymore. Nobody (except my therapist) knows of my situation so it makes it even harder to deal with.But at the same time I prefer to keep it to myself until I come up with a failproof solution or another realistic life plan.I've always been a resourceful person and people come to me all the time for personal advice but now, for the 1st time of my life I feel empty, completely lost and unable to project myself into the future. 

 

The more I try to rationalize the situation and brainstorm possibilities, the more depressive and frustrated I get. I'm in my late 20s with a useless bachelor's degree and half a master's degree that left me with 5k in debt. I could return to uni and pursue another degree but I'm scared to fuk up my gpa even more (plus, how the f am I suppose to explain being kicked out of grad school on another hypothetical application??!!).Furthermore I'm not even sure what other program I could do, none really excite me.I have consulted academic advisors but that did not help me to make new career goals. I'm already in my late 20s, so perhaps the smartest thing to do would be to keep my boring receptionist job until retirement and forget about uni entirely? TBH the thought of it makes me absolutely miserable... 

 

So pm101ers, what would you do if you were in my lamentable situation? I see zero ways out of this pathetic mess.

 

I read your whole post.

 

A couple of words about being rock bottom.

 

Hitting rock bottom is better than being at ‘average’. When you’re at total rock bottom you’re actually closer to success. Why? Because, when you’re at rock bottom, you’re only inches away from getting to that point where it’s so painful to stay where you’re currently at, that you scream: ENOUGH!!!!! You get up and take massive action because it’s too painful to stay where you are. Being in ‘average’ doesn’t motivate anyone to make drastic transformations in their lives. This is the danger of living in such a comfortable society… Take heed dear one… Don’t get too comfortable. Average is the silent killer…the secret prison. Average is the biggest con game. Get out of average PUSH! Strive! Grow! DEMAND greatness from yourself. For greatness is your only true nature. Average is a lie. It’s a lack of integrity on your part. Get out of average. Get into excellence. Excellence is where your integrity lies. Excellence is where your bliss awaits you my dear friend. Your heart guides you… it’s time to start listening…

 

Action plan:

 

Just forget about what happened. I know its hard but you still have a lot of time. Look into careers that you think you may have a shot. Do what you think is the most realistic for you...maybe apply to DO Medical schools (3.31 GPA and decent MCAT can help) or try dentistry in Ireland (your GPA should be able to get you in) - it may be enough but you will accrue massive debt of around 300k. These are just some options I am thinking of but yes, there are many options. Dont feel sad.

 

Good luck

[Intrepid86]

I don't know what's involved in a MOT degree, but the fact that you wanted to quit 3 weeks into it is concerning. I'm making the reasonable assumption that these programs aren't out to fail people. You did well in most of your courses, and that suggests it wasn't the complexity of the material which did you in. It was some combination of anxiety, lack of motivation, and not-a-great-student-to-begin-with (judging by your undergrad GPA). In the courses you got Cs in, were you actively struggling? Did you ask for help? Did you actually try your best?

 

This reflection is important. There's no guarantee you'll like the next program you enter, and there's no guarantee that you'll be good at it either. You should broaden your possible career choices as well to include fields that aren't directly healthcare related. If you like psych then that could mean counseling, social work, human resources etc might be more up your alley.

 

Contrary to what a previous poster said, I don't think you should leave the country to study abroad. Judging from your history, you're someone who needs an optimal learning environment to truly perform well, and you won't get that at an international school. If anything it will be even more stressful.

[geriatricsdoc]

I don't know what's involved in a MOT degree, but the fact that you wanted to quit 3 weeks into it is concerning. I'm making the reasonable assumption that these programs aren't out to fail people. You did well in most of your courses, and that suggests it wasn't the complexity of the material which did you in. It was some combination of anxiety, lack of motivation, and not-a-great-student-to-begin-with (judging by your undergrad GPA). In the courses you got Cs in, were you actively struggling? Did you ask for help? Did you actually try your best?

 

This reflection is important. There's no guarantee you'll like the next program you enter, and there's no guarantee that you'll be good at it either. You should broaden your possible career choices as well to include fields that aren't directly healthcare related. If you like psych then that could mean counseling, social work, human resources etc might be more up your alley.

 

Contrary to what a previous poster said, I don't think you should leave the country to study abroad. Judging from your history, you're someone who needs an optimal learning environment to truly perform well, and you won't get that at an international school. If anything it will be even more stressful.

I tend to disagree. If you go to Ireland and finish dentistry. You can come back to Canada in 5 years and practice as a dentist. No exams needed because Ireland has reciprocity with Canada. The only downside is LOC.

 

The DO route in USA would require MCAT though and would be far more stressful. So I guess I would recommend against it. But just because you dropped out of MOT degree does not mean you are not smart or anything. It is just that you did not enjoy the course work or felt burned out.

 

I am just suggesting options to indicate that you have many paths to go and do not be sad. 

[Username1980s]

Not sure exactly what you are asking. I don't think anyone here can tell you what you would be interested in. If you are asking is there still a chance at med the answer you will get is "there is always a chance" but tbh it is pretty remote. I started my undergrad at 28 and am now in residency so your age is not really a factor but I did not have any GPA baggage. The 5K in debt is nothing in the grand scheme of things especially when compared to average med student debt.

 

I know you are looking for answers (and maybe a little encouragement) but i doubt anyone here can tell you anything you don't already know. Can you do better in school if you go back for something else? Only you know that. Can you get into another program? Sure but it will be a lot of work. Should you? It is impossible to answer that until you know yourself and what you can, and can't live with.

 

GL

 

I apologize for the confusion. This is not ''what are my chances'' post. I am realistic and I know medical school is no longer a viable possibility. What I'm asking is to maybe suggest possibilities that I haven't considered career-wise. 

[Username1980s]

I'm sorry you're in this predicament, I feel for you. Have you considered midwifery, diagnostic sonography, or radiation therapy? With a BSc in psych, you can also apply to a MSc in counselling, which is my backup plan if I don't get accepted to med school. Keep your head up! One way or another, things will work out

Great suggestions, I will look those up along with Social work and MPH (public health). Thank you for your encouraging words.

[Username1980s]

I read your whole post.

 

A couple of words about being rock bottom.

 

Hitting rock bottom is better than being at ‘average’. When you’re at total rock bottom you’re actually closer to success. Why? Because, when you’re at rock bottom, you’re only inches away from getting to that point where it’s so painful to stay where you’re currently at, that you scream: ENOUGH!!!!! You get up and take massive action because it’s too painful to stay where you are. Being in ‘average’ doesn’t motivate anyone to make drastic transformations in their lives. This is the danger of living in such a comfortable society… Take heed dear one… Don’t get too comfortable. Average is the silent killer…the secret prison. Average is the biggest con game. Get out of average PUSH! Strive! Grow! DEMAND greatness from yourself. For greatness is your only true nature. Average is a lie. It’s a lack of integrity on your part. Get out of average. Get into excellence. Excellence is where your integrity lies. Excellence is where your bliss awaits you my dear friend. Your heart guides you… it’s time to start listening…

 

Action plan:

 

Just forget about what happened. I know its hard but you still have a lot of time. Look into careers that you think you may have a shot. Do what you think is the most realistic for you...maybe apply to DO Medical schools (3.31 GPA and decent MCAT can help) or try dentistry in Ireland (your GPA should be able to get you in) - it may be enough but you will accrue massive debt of around 300k. These are just some options I am thinking of but yes, there are many options. Dont feel sad.

 

Good luck

Thanks for your encouraging words.  I know that 10 years from now I would probably look at this and laugh but for the moment  I'm still in a mental fog, I'm basically on autopilot. I'm trying to stay positive though. I do strive for excellence but I'm my own enemy and for some reason I always manage to fuk things up. I'm not genetically stupid (my parents have advanced degrees), I can get As and I have demonstrated that in the past but as soon as I encounter a dificulty, anxiety takes the best of me and everything falls apart. Anyway...DO school and dentistry are unfortunately not appealing to me but I appreciate your suggestions. For now I am considering maybe social work or MPH.

[Username1980s]

I don't know what's involved in a MOT degree, but the fact that you wanted to quit 3 weeks into it is concerning. I'm making the reasonable assumption that these programs aren't out to fail people. You did well in most of your courses, and that suggests it wasn't the complexity of the material which did you in. It was some combination of anxiety, lack of motivation, and not-a-great-student-to-begin-with (judging by your undergrad GPA). In the courses you got Cs in, were you actively struggling? Did you ask for help? Did you actually try your best?

 

This reflection is important. There's no guarantee you'll like the next program you enter, and there's no guarantee that you'll be good at it either. You should broaden your possible career choices as well to include fields that aren't directly healthcare related. If you like psych then that could mean counseling, social work, human resources etc might be more up your alley.

 

Contrary to what a previous poster said, I don't think you should leave the country to study abroad. Judging from your history, you're someone who needs an optimal learning environment to truly perform well, and you won't get that at an international school. If anything it will be even more stressful.

You raise some valid points and I am exploring those with my therapist. I have my fair share of blame for my failures and I am not blaming entirely the school in question (although several students have complained about the curriculum and the lack of academic pedagogy). I agree with your point on Ireland and I do not intend of moving abroad to pursue a degree. I am open to explore the careers you mentionned. I hate it but people do come to me for personal advice all the time so maybe I should explore careers related to that ability.

[Username1980s]

I tend to disagree. If you go to Ireland and finish dentistry. You can come back to Canada in 5 years and practice as a dentist. No exams needed because Ireland has reciprocity with Canada. The only downside is LOC.

 

The DO route in USA would require MCAT though and would be far more stressful. So I guess I would recommend against it. But just because you dropped out of MOT degree does not mean you are not smart or anything. It is just that you did not enjoy the course work or felt burned out.

 

I am just suggesting options to indicate that you have many paths to go and do not be sad. 

This. If anything, I've learned from this terrible experience that I don't do well under pressure. I don't see myself studying for the MCAT because of the science portion ( organic chemistry,biochemistry...not my forte. at all.). I see it as a giant waste of time because doing it does not guarantee admission....so I prefer to avoid anything med school related (med,dentistry,pharmacy etc).

[Egg_McMuffin]

I think that you really need to take a step back and reflect more upon what about the MOT program that made you feel anxious and like you did not belong (aside from "everything"). What was it about your own state of mind that made you feel that way (i.e. unrealistic expectations?) It's great that you are looking for alternative career paths now--and I can understand that, given that after I graduated from my first undergrad I went into full career-searching and planning mode because, well, it was therapeutic, and I had the same concerns as you about wanting to be somewhere by 30, etc. But I feel you might be blindly searching if you haven't figured out what exactly happened during your MOT degree, so that you can apply those lessons in your next career-search.

 

It's best to not look at this as an indication of your self-worth (i.e. "I'm a failure because I flunked out") and instead as a judgement call that just didn't end up working out at this point in your life. Who doesn't make mistakes in their life? Weird analogy, but it's like making friends or finding a spouse...you had your set of reasons and expectations, you get there, realize you could be happier elsewhere, and you leave and learn from it (and the important thing is you learn more about yourself from that experience). Maybe you getting kicked out was a blessing in disguise, because deep down you knew it was not the program for you anyway, but did not have the courage to leave.

 

Maybe time is the only way that will allow you to take a step back and gain some clarity. I don't think this is stuff that can be figured out in a couple of months. Improve your financial situation in the mean time by working and keeping yourself busy, keep seeking professional help, don't sabotage yourself, and jump back in when you feel ready.

[HappyAndHopeful]

Great suggestions, I will look those up along with Social work and MPH (public health). Thank you for your encouraging words.

No problem! Those are both great options. I haven't explored the social work option extensively, but I do know that some universities (Lakehead in Thunder Bay comes to mind) actually have a one year social work program for people who have previous degrees. So you'd be able to get your BSW in just one year. Good luck!

[medway12]

I'm in my late 20s with a useless bachelor's degree and half a master's degree that left me with 5k in debt. 

 

An immediate bright side I see is that your debt is ONLY $5K. I have over $25K just from undergrad.... thank you business school.

 

On a more serious note: Don't give up on life. There is always a solution. Remember that your efforts have paid off based on the fact that you ultimately got into graduate school. It seems to me that it didn't end up being what you thought it would be and you became bored. More research and 1 on 1 discussion with students prior to pursuing it would have helped. But that's in the past. I suggest holding off more university education until you have really figured out what you need to do. Keep the receptionist job and take your time to think through options. And don't keep to yourself. Talk to others - friends, family, etc. You are already rock bottom so sharing your issue with others will only help you.

 

While you are working, continue to improve your resume, network with grads from your undergrad school, and keep applying to better/higher paying jobs. If you don't get one right away, you still have a job at the end of the day. Ultimately, whether it is months or a year later, you will find a better job if you keep doing the things I mentioned.

 

Another thing I suggest is pursuing a technical certification or diploma (college level). That is not to discourage you from university courses but I mean that from a practical standpoint. There are certificates/diplomas that will significantly improve your odds of landing a solid office job when combined with your degree. Examples include something in HR, project management, or business analysis.

 

All in all, it can only go uphill from here. Once you are in a job that is stable and pays a decent ($45K+) salary, you can go back to the drawing board and consider other career options. You need that safety net to feel safe. It's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Go build that safety net and then think about other more risky career moves (like going back to school full time) if that is still up your alley.

 

Good luck. You can do it. There are people in life (and on this forum) in seemingly much more difficult circumstances (e.g. a person who completed a second degree and didn't get into med, an unmatched IMG who spent $100Ks, unemployed and trained neurosurgeon, a PhD working in a data entry job, the list goes on). Count your blessings and move forward. It will get better.

[End Poverty]

Hey Username1980s,

 

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I really feel for you.  Just remember, when life hits its worst points ( or rock bottom) for us, it is  also destined to get better.  I was in a similar situation few years ago when I was doing my biochem degree, and did not do well on 1 course  and I remember feeling quite sad, hopeless, and lost, but eventually I managed to find something that I liked doing/enjoyed doing and managed to build my life again.  From your post, I can tell that you are a very determined person, because you managed to get into OT school and overcome all the setbacks/struggles.

 

You are not alone in these situations, a lot of people face similar struggles. Right now, you  have several option in front of you, including MSW, or MPH, dentistry, pharmacy, masters in counseling, nursing, dietician, masters of psychology, counseling psychology masters ...etc. I would recommend that you write down your strength or your skills. You mentioned that you like to listen to people, help them out, and that you are very resourceful...write down all these great skills. Then, write down all the career options that you think would fit with your skills or you would enjoy doing. Then write down the pros and cons of each of these career options, as well as how these career options would affect you 5 or 10 years down the road.  

 

Also, in regards to not telling family members, are you worried that they won't support you, or they won't help u out, or even judge you? Do you have friends or other family member who will be there for you/ support you. The reason that I ask this, because often times we need someone to be there for us when things get difficult, to reminds us that we are not alone, or to just listen to us.

 

Best of luck, I genuinely hope things get better for you.

[Username1980s]

Hey Username1980s,

 

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I really feel for you.  Just remember, when life hits its worst points ( or rock bottom) for us, it is  also destined to get better.  I was in a similar situation few years ago, and I remember feeling quite sad, hopeless, and lost, but eventually I managed to find something that I liked doing/enjoyed doing and managed to build my life again.  From your post, I can tell that you are a very determined person, because you managed to get into OT school and overcome all the setbacks/struggles.

 

You are not alone in these situations, a lot of people face similar struggles. Right now, you  have several option in front of you, including MSW, or MPH, dentistry, pharmacy, masters in counseling, nursing, dietician, masters of psychology, counseling psychology masters ...etc. I would recommend that you write down your strength or your skills. You mentioned that you like to listen to people, help them out, and that you are very resourceful...write down all these great skills. Then, write down all the career options that you think would fit with your skills or you would enjoy doing. Then write down the pros and cons of each of these career options, as well as how these career options would affect you 5 or 10 years down the road.  

 

Also, in regards to not telling family members, are you worried that they won't support you, or they won't help u out, or even judge you? Do you have friends or other family member who will be there for you/ support you. The reason that I ask this, because often times we need someone to be there for us when things get difficult, to reminds us that we are not alone, or to just listen to us.

 

Best of luck, I genuinely hope things get better for you.

Hey premedcal,thank you for your kind words.

you're right, at this point i am so far down that I can only go up. There are millions of other options...I just need to find it in me to trust that it WILL get better and that there's a decent career out there for me.As you suggested, I will go back to the drawing board and list my strenghts/weaknesses and pros/cons of each potential careers.

I do worry that my family and friends will judge me and make it more difficult for me to get back on track. I know they will ask tons of questions that I don't have the answers to (''what are you going to do? what happened? Have you tried doing XYZ?''). This is why I prefer to speak to a therapist about this until I figure it all out...

[Username1980s]

I think that you really need to take a step back and reflect more upon what about the MOT program that made you feel anxious and like you did not belong (aside from "everything"). What was it about your own state of mind that made you feel that way (i.e. unrealistic expectations?) It's great that you are looking for alternative career paths now--and I can understand that, given that after I graduated from my first undergrad I went into full career-searching and planning mode because, well, it was therapeutic, and I had the same concerns as you about wanting to be somewhere by 30, etc. But I feel you might be blindly searching if you haven't figured out what exactly happened during your MOT degree, so that you can apply those lessons in your next career-search.

 

It's best to not look at this as an indication of your self-worth (i.e. "I'm a failure because I flunked out") and instead as a judgement call that just didn't end up working out at this point in your life. Who doesn't make mistakes in their life? Weird analogy, but it's like making friends or finding a spouse...you had your set of reasons and expectations, you get there, realize you could be happier elsewhere, and you leave and learn from it (and the important thing is you learn more about yourself from that experience). Maybe you getting kicked out was a blessing in disguise, because deep down you knew it was not the program for you anyway, but did not have the courage to leave.

 

Maybe time is the only way that will allow you to take a step back and gain some clarity. I don't think this is stuff that can be figured out in a couple of months. Improve your financial situation in the mean time by working and keeping yourself busy, keep seeking professional help, don't sabotage yourself, and jump back in when you feel ready.

Funny, that's exactly what my therapist told me today! He said I should take this year to reflect but also to nurture other aspects of my life besides school. I've been so focused on the academic aspect that I've neglected my social life...maybe this whole mess is an opportunity to work on that.

[Egg_McMuffin]

Funny, that's exactly what my therapist told me today! He said I should take this year to reflect but also to nurture other aspects of my life besides school. I've been so focused on the academic aspect that I've neglected my social life...maybe this whole mess is an opportunity to work on that.

Your therapist is very smart

But seriously, that's kind of what I did after I finished my first degree with an unimpressive GPA. By that time I kinda had an idea of what kind of a backup I wanted to pursue (dietetics) and could've probably gotten into the second undergrad right away, but I chose to work and volunteer in healthcare settings (which were also helpful for my application for my backup plan), and find reasons and motivation for the path that I was going to pursue. Those 16 months were so instrumental in helping me gain a sense of clarity and motivation that I never felt during my 4 years at undergrad. Now that I'm done my second degree, I feel I'm ready to get outside of the academic bubble again. And I'll be spending the money that I saved up after my first undergrad lol. Hitting pause on school is never wasted time if it's done with purpose and self-awareness.

[kalmah]

Never give up.