Writing my own reference

[Guest Sumi23]

Hey folks,

 

I am stuck in a crappy situation. One of my referee's asked me to write the reference letter for him.

 

He said he would like to know what I think he should mention in my letter and that he will edit it before sending it in. This could mean that the letter I write may very well end up being submitted. So, I am under terrible pressure to make it good.

 

I don't know what to write about myself. My referee is filling out the personal UBC assessment form and he knows me very well in all aspects listed on the form. But I still don't know what sorts of things to mention in the extra space provided. Please help.

[Guest Bob]

Hi, before I give you my opinion, I need to know which assesment form it is (ie personal, community, acedemic.)

[Guest Ian Wong]

Eh. That's a sticky, if fairly common, situation to be in. My first thought is that if you've known this referee for a long time, chances are good that he/she won't mind if you state outright that you would really prefer him/her to write the reference. It's more work for the referee, but if they've accepted the responsibility of having their name on the letter itself, then they darn well should take the additional responsibility of spending an hour on writing you an original reference letter.

 

Second thought is that I remember an anecdotal story about someone who'd done something similar to what you are describing. This person was busted after the medical school contacted the referee. Therefore, you are at the top of a very slippery slope. I think your best course of action is to emphasize to your referee that the whole point of getting that reference letter is for the admissions committee to find out what you, the referee, thinks about the applicant. Clearly that can't happen if the applicant is the one drafting and writing the letter.

 

If he/she refuses, then you might want to investigate other referees. Chances are it won't come to that.

 

Ian

UBC, Med 3

[Guest Katie]

Is there a rule against writing your own reference letter? I've read on other message boards that this is common practice in the States.

[Guest not rex morgan]

In the interest of diplomacy and professionalism, I'm not even going to comment on the the question as to whether or not there is a rule against writing your own letter. What I would suggest you do if you find yourself in this situation, and as Ian says, it's more common than you'd think, is to provide your referee with the list of non-academic qualities listed in the calender as a bit of a guide. Some people just don't know what to write about you, especially if they've known you for a while. You could, if you like, give your referee your essay and list of extracurriculars, to get them thinking about what to submit. Good luck.