sk8kristi Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hey guys, I seem to have a problem of sometimes stumbling over my words and getting my words a little jumbled up when I'm talking to people. I find it's worst when I'm in a casual conversation with my friends and get excited and start talking faster than my brain can think of what I want to say next. I don't want this happening during interviews! Does anyone have any tricks for how to get over this? Also, I've never been much of a person for making eye contact with people when speaking to them. There's just something about staring into others' eyes that makes me feel almost awkward. Now, I don't want to go to the other extreme and stare the people down, but how can I improve on this? And what are everyone's opinions on what the right amount of eye contact is? Thanks guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leon Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 And what are everyone's opinions on what the right amount of eye contact is? Where else would you look, if not at the interviewer's eyes? It might make you look nervous if you stare at their shoes or something. At interviews, I always ensure near continuous eye contact. I also tend to glance down at sheets (eg CVs) in my hands (but I think you don't get to keep anything like that in med interviews). The interviewer will likely look at you, so it's sort of weird to not look at them. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk8kristi Posted January 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Where else would you look, if not at the interviewer's eyes? It might make you look nervous if you stare at their shoes or something. At interviews, I always ensure near continuous eye contact. I also tend to glance down at sheets (eg CVs) in my hands (but I think you don't get to keep anything like that in med interviews). The interviewer will likely look at you, so it's sort of weird to not look at them. lol Exactly, I know I will have to look at them, so I just want to learn how to get more confident at doing it so I don't look like the antisocial weirdo (which I'm definitely not! haha). Maybe being in an interview situation where it's only you and the interviewer helps, as opposed to talking to friends in a busy hallway or at the bar, etc. where there are so many other things going on around you and distracting you that you aren't making 100% constant eye contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corsci Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Start practicing today with whoever you talk to. Exactly, I know I will have to look at them, so I just want to learn how to get more confident at doing it so I don't look like the antisocial weirdo (which I'm definitely not! haha). Maybe being in an interview situation where it's only you and the interviewer helps, as opposed to talking to friends in a busy hallway or at the bar, etc. where there are so many other things going on around you and distracting you that you aren't making 100% constant eye contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattg Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hey guys,I seem to have a problem of sometimes stumbling over my words and getting my words a little jumbled up when I'm talking to people. I find it's worst when I'm in a casual conversation with my friends and get excited and start talking faster than my brain can think of what I want to say next. I don't want this happening during interviews! Does anyone have any tricks for how to get over this? Also, I've never been much of a person for making eye contact with people when speaking to them. There's just something about staring into others' eyes that makes me feel almost awkward. Now, I don't want to go to the other extreme and stare the people down, but how can I improve on this? And what are everyone's opinions on what the right amount of eye contact is? Thanks guys! Sounds exactly like me lol. I think we are just introverted - it's harder for introverts to look into people's eyes for whatever reason. Like the last poster said, you just need to start doing it, even though it feels weird to continuously look into people's eyes (for introverts)... I have the same thing with the stumbling also - where it seems like your brain isn't thinking while you talk. I'm not sure how to fix that. My guess would be to take a second or two before you say things, as long as its not so long and so often as to be weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeaHatingBrit Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Practice alot, with all sorts of people, and stare them in the eyes. Try it even at home, over dinner. Make it a habit. It is a good one to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shishicd Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 i used to have trouble maintaining eye contact during a conversation because it was intimidating. then one day, i decided that i would be the one to intimidate the other person and maintain eye contact until they were uncomfortable. it worked like a charm, and it's kind of fun when they start to squirm. give it a try! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lactic Folly Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Videotaped mock interviews, and feedback from others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatonekid Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 I don't have the eye contact problem, but sometimes I talk too fast as well and get words mixed up. What I do is consciously talk slowly. In my mind, it feels like I'm talking really slow, but when I talk to my friends, they say it sounds normal. Just practice in day to day conversation. And take deep breaths between sentences; it slows you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asem26 Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hey guys,I seem to have a problem of sometimes stumbling over my words and getting my words a little jumbled up when I'm talking to people. I find it's worst when I'm in a casual conversation with my friends and get excited and start talking faster than my brain can think of what I want to say next. I don't want this happening during interviews! Does anyone have any tricks for how to get over this? Also, I've never been much of a person for making eye contact with people when speaking to them. There's just something about staring into others' eyes that makes me feel almost awkward. Now, I don't want to go to the other extreme and stare the people down, but how can I improve on this? And what are everyone's opinions on what the right amount of eye contact is? Thanks guys! Disclaimer: I'm not joking and not responsible if you get injured. I think the best way to get over this is take public transit and talk to random people. If you can get the attention of a passenger during the morning rush hr I promise you, you will have no problem talking to ANYONE. Especially if you take the ttc. I tried it a couple of times. It really works and builds up confidence. Connecting with a random person is possibly the best way to prep for an interview lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfinch Posted January 24, 2010 Report Share Posted January 24, 2010 Look at them in the eyes, but you don't have to keep staring. They understand people have different comfort levels. Just avoid staring at your interviewers genitals, and you'll be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscous Posted February 2, 2010 Report Share Posted February 2, 2010 Exactly, I know I will have to look at them, so I just want to learn how to get more confident at doing it so I don't look like the antisocial weirdo (which I'm definitely not! haha). Maybe being in an interview situation where it's only you and the interviewer helps, as opposed to talking to friends in a busy hallway or at the bar, etc. where there are so many other things going on around you and distracting you that you aren't making 100% constant eye contact. Its surprising that you want to be a doctor yet you think antisocial people are "weirdos" especially when you are not in their shoes and do not share their worldview. If you think that being social is the proper way of living life, for antisocial people being asocial is the correct way of living life. As a doctor, you have no right to call other worldviews, no matter how illogical they sound to you (others accept them because they find them logical), weird. There are more than 1 million Sadhus in India who have renounced material life in search of what they call Divine and they spend most of their life in mountains and forests. So from modern perspective, they are indeed antisocial. But to call them weirdos is intellectual dishonesty and shows one's incompetence in accepting that the world is not all black and white. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk8kristi Posted February 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2010 Its surprising that you want to be a doctor yet you think antisocial people are "weirdos" especially when you are not in their shoes and do not share their worldview. If you think that being social is the proper way of living life, for antisocial people being asocial is the correct way of living life. As a doctor, you have no right to call other worldviews, no matter how illogical they sound to you (others accept them because they find them logical), weird. There are more than 1 million Sadhus in India who have renounced material life in search of what they call Divine and they spend most of their life in mountains and forests. So from modern perspective, they are indeed antisocial. But to call them weirdos is intellectual dishonesty and shows one's incompetence in accepting that the world is not all black and white. Viscous, you're right, I now realize that was a terrible choice of words and I hope you can accept my apology! I'd like to keep rambling here, but I should really get to bed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor_Strangelove Posted February 2, 2010 Report Share Posted February 2, 2010 hmmm its weird for me too... I absolutely love interacting with people and I will always be the person in the group who will tell an interesting story and everyone will listen but for some reason I don't like staring into most people's eyes. My trick is that I look right under the eyes or somewhere on the face near the eyes. That way it looks as if your looking into their eyes but your not lol. Try not to stare at their nose or their hair or something as that might actually make them uncomfortable haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratatat Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 Disclaimer: I'm not joking and not responsible if you get injured. I think the best way to get over this is take public transit and talk to random people. If you can get the attention of a passenger during the morning rush hr I promise you, you will have no problem talking to ANYONE. Especially if you take the ttc. I tried it a couple of times. It really works and builds up confidence. Connecting with a random person is possibly the best way to prep for an interview lol. LOL wow, that's interesting. I guess you just have to make sure you do it on the right buses/routes and at the right times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor_Strangelove Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 lol you can't even imagine how many intellectual discussions (believe it or not) I've had with homeless people. You look at them like crazies, but I guess they have a lot of time to think about life and the meaning of life lol. But ya... talking to random people under the appropriate situations does help improve your interpersonal skills Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbox Posted February 5, 2010 Report Share Posted February 5, 2010 another trick with eye contact: If you feel uncomfortable looking someone straight in the eyes, look just above their eyes at their forehead. Virtually impossible to tell that you aren't looking at them straight in the eyes;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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